Am I overreacting?

My brother, SIL, and their 2 kids moved in with me and my family in 2020. My kids are 5,4, and almost 1. Their kids are 8&10. Today the 8yr showed him where his basket was hidden as soon as he stepped into the livingroom then my 4yr old woke up when I was going to the bathroom and the 10yr old showed him where his was before I got out. I know its super trivial but crap like this happens every holiday and I’m just breaking


It’s been 3 years, sounds like it’s time for them to get their own space.


I feel like it’s more about you wanting your space, privacy, and peace back, personally.
I have found with older siblings/niece/nephew /ect that it Always help to include them. Asking THEM for the best hiding spot ever, would have them excited, helpful, and not breaking you.

I say make them move out. Clearly you’re over it and you have every right to be.

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Yep. Time for them to go


I think the older two were just excited. Itz understandable. But the freeloaders should grow up and move out. I mean I have younger brothers but I’d go nuts if I had to live with either.


They’ve overstayed their welcome.


Think it’s time they get their own space. Ask them what’s the hold up on finding their own place to live? And if they need help offer it.

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You will laugh about this one day with the kids. You will tell them how so and so told you were the basket was and how you were soo mad. It was a family tradition.
Some stuff happing now make great stories in the future. Honestly you will forget that you missed it. Sadly as we get older those moments fade and the kids will remind you of what they remembered happen. My kids have had so many good times that made good memories but I can’t remember them All. But that is just me and my opion. Live in the moment, in today’s world treasure every moment, even it doesn’t go quite as planned.

I’d communicate with the children next time saying quietly “hey don’t show them where their basket is I want them to find it on their own” it’s really an easy fix


Maybe its time for them to move


Sounds like the 8 and 10 were excited and wanted to help their little cousins find their baskets. Have you talked to the kid’s parents about holidays? Sometimes an easy conversation will fix everything. Your family might not realize there is a problem. Some people wouldn’t think twice about the big cousins helping out their little cousins. Just let them know how you feel about it.


My oldest son always “helped” his younger siblings find baskets, eggs, stocking it’s the excitement of it all. I had to bribe my oldest at Christmas not to spill the beans. He was 15 and still writing letters to Santa for his younger brother not to figure it out. He’s now 22 and still plays along when my nieces and nephews are around. He still helps them hunt eggs at egg hunts. Think you need to have an adult conversation with your brother and sil not be upset with the kids.


They’re just kids and literally doing what kids do which is helping each other with something they’re excited about. I say get with the older kids and give them an extra treat for “playing dumb” like they don’t know where stuff is for the littles or maybe let them record them finding it so they’re more focused on playing with the phone than actually helping.


Definitely communicate with the children. My two boys are 5 years apart. I had to explain to my oldest that he can help his brother but don’t do it all for him. My oldest was a natural though at helping Littles. That’s all kids want to do at that age, is help especially with kids younger than them. It’s in their DNA to just want to help. Talk with them. They will understand.

It’s well overdue to have your home back to yourself. What are they waiting on?? 3 years is a long time to still be there with no plan…


I don’t think it has anything to do with the baskets I think it’s 2023 and the moved in in 2020 3 months of two families living together can be very stressful let alone 3years


So your issue is really with the fact your brother is staying with you and instead of addressing the bigger issue your taking it out on your nephews/neices ?! I really don’t understand the question this is something you need to address with your brother and SIL


Why have they been there so long? Two families living together isn’t idea, no privacy


Honestly sounds like a kid thing to do :woman_shrugging:
Maybe hide Holiday stuff in your bedroom if it’s important to you

Sounds like there is probably more going on that is bothering you and you should have a conversation.


Why are they still living with you? Was this a plan for yall to live together this long?

Yeah it’s time for them to go.


This is easily solveable with some communication. Maybe, next holiday, take the older two aside and talk about some set expectations.
In this case, it would’ve been pretty simple to say, hey, part of the fun is in the looking, as it builds anticipation amd excitement, both for the parents and the child. Dont rob those moments from anyone if you wouldnt want it robbed from you. I’d also separate the hunts for the two older ones. Tell them if they ruin it for their cousins, they won’t get their basket. Think ahead. And have a conversation with them about it. And it wouldn’t hurt to bring your brother and his wife into that conversation either. That way everyone knows expectations.


So can both families manage on their own or is this arrangement for everyone’s benefit? Many families are currently unable to afford living on their own and are therefore living with parents and siblings. You stated they moved in with you, but did not say if they are helping pay the bills, helping with house and yard work, childcare or if they are simply mooches. The bottom line is, yes, I do think you are over reacting. They are just kids, being kids. They didn’t ask to move in with you and they obviously didn’t know it would upset you if they showed the littles where their baskets were.


Your house your rules. Scold them about not touching or looking at items they do not need to he touching. Have the parents keep an eye on them and talk with them as well.

Do a better job at hiding things if it really breaks you

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Was them moving in suppose to be temporary because I could never….every single thing would annoy me.

Yes !!! You are overreacting, they are kids and that is what kids do , next time hide the stuffs better ( when they are not around )

That would piss me off. My kids know they are not to tell the others where their basket or eggs are. If they do they loose there’s. My kids baskets are “extra” so they don’t mess with that rule. I know it’s different since they aren’t your kids but I’d definitely talk to your niece & nephew & their parents. Discuss consequences for ruining your kids holidays. If you have done this & it doesn’t change tell them this living arrangement isn’t working out since their kids won’t respect you & they need to leave.

I’m sure your kids didn’t mind, did the older ones not get their own baskets to keep them occupied?

It’s been 3 years. Of course you’re breaking. It’s time they start finding their own home. You need your own space for yourself and your family❤️

Its been 3 years? Tell them to move. Its one thing to help family, and another to let them use you consistently for 3 years instead of getting on their own. Especially if its starting to affect you and your immediate family.

Why in the world are they still there? I understand helping however part of helping is getting them to stand on their own feet. It’s called hard love. He has had long enough to get assistance if needed and to be on their own. What will he do if something happens to you?

Can you just ask them the night before not to do that and let the kids find them on their own? :woman_shrugging:t2:

Not overreacting. It’s time for his parents to jerk a knot in his butt and all of them to apologize. They’re in your home. They may not be considered visitors but they need to be respective of your life and your needs.