Am I overthinking or run now?

I've been with my fiance for over 2 years now, recently I have been catching him snapchating other girls, saying "send n***s" and "wanna get n***d?". Honestly it's a slap in the face to me.

We had a hiccup like this before, he came back from a guys trip and something didn’t feel right so I went through his phone (which I know I know I shouldn’t have) but I saw messages with him and another girl. I confronted him about it and he swears he doesn’t remember texting her and he’s sorry.

Everytime he messages these others girls, it’s always when he is out drinking with his friends.

I love him and so does my son. He swears on everything he would never ever cheat and he’s not that type of guy. His best friend tells he how much he’s changed for the better because of me. He’s constantly talking our wedding and us buying our house together but in my head all I can think about is these messages.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overthinking or run now?

He’s only sorry and swears he won’t do it again because he got caught. He’s not going to change. :woman_shrugging:

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The best predictor of future behavior is past and present behavior. He is cheating on you emotional, financial leave and build a life for you and your child. God bless

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Is this even a serious question :woozy_face:🤦

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…. Cheating is more than just the physical. He ultimately went behind your back and talked to other women.

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Men are manipulators.

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Leave while you can.

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Your not alone hun. I’ve been with my man the same amount of time. I used his phone for messenger cause mine was acting funny. I seen a mesg saying hello beautiful how are u. And a heart face and then recently saying thinking of you with a shhh :shushing_face:. I confronted him he said some excuse and he wouldn’t cheat on me and if he was he’s not stupid enough to leave it on his phone. Deep down I want to trust him but I’m so afraid of being heart broken and being stupid. His excuse was he use to race with her father when she was younger and her mom died recently and he said she’s married.

Says he would never cheat but uh intent is the same thing :flushed:

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Leave that piece of shite. It won’t stop, he won’t change. What complete and utter disrespect to you that is.

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Girl he’s already cheated

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If there’s no trust there’s nothing.

My x bff would say the same after dropping him from a nite of sex so if it only happens when he goes out to drink guess who isn’t going out to drink again

Don’t walk, run. This is not how you want your son to treat women is it?
He’s manipulating you.

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Once a cheater always a Cheater!

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Red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: be gone with him

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He needs to delete his snapchat and stop. If not, dump him.

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Dont do it. Leave him

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What has he changed for the better because of you is what I wanna know cause going out drinking with friends talking to other women isn’t something positive.

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His friends cover for his cheating .

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Girl if he is doing this disrespectful shit now he isn’t gonna stop doing it when your married. Love doesn’t sustain a relationship if it did rhere would be no divorce.

If he really felt that way he wouldn’t be doing the shit he’s doing…PERIOD! Drinking or not you know what you’re doing. Don’t marry a man who lies already and is making you feel like you aren’t enough and can’t trust! Get out for you and your child …it will only progress from there. Trust me girl I lived it!

Leave now. You will never be able to fully trust him

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You already know the truth you just don’t want to face it making up excuses for him to yourself :broken_heart::cry:

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A hiccup? Ummm he is a cheater.

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Asking for NUDES is CHEATING. Girl move on!!! He is not going to change. Find a man that is going to respect you.

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Honestly it will NEVER be the same if you stay…take it from a woman who did and it sucks… Get out while you can.

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He keeps cheating on you. You and your son don’t deserve that! Leave!

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Leaaaveeeee. You deserve better and how exhausting is it to ask someone to act right.

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be very careful . this guy sounds like he is talking the walk but not walking thr walk. i personally wouldnt make any long term plans with him , my advice is to get out of this situation before it gets worse , you cant trust a guy like this

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And these are just the things you know about!

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Sorry, but if he “gets drunk and doesn’t remember texting another girl”, then it’ll lead to “I was drunk and didn’t remember having sex with her”

Run now. He’s going to tell you what you want to hear, but his actions show otherwise.

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Run as fast as you can

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So, this would be the second time? Or this is the second time that you KNOW about. Guys like that stay guys like that. As long as you allow it, it will continue. And him saying “I’m sorry” after the fact, doesn’t mean anything. He isn’t sorry. He’s sorry he got caught.

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Run & never look back

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if you have to ask you already know the answer

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What he is doing with those other girls is cheating… seriously did u need to ask this question…

He is cheating on u and ur son… run as fast as u can… he will never change

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:woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2: please open your eyes. you deserve better.

Sounds like a bunch of bullshit. He has disrespected you TWICE now. I would leave tbh. Red flags all around.

If you keep doing what you’re doing…you’ll keep getting what you’re getting! Fact!

He’s already cheated. Someone who is in love with you wouldn’t be talking to other girls and disrespecting the mother of his child. He may love you, but not in love with you. If you end up marrying him, you’re gonna end up divorced. It’s best to leave now and bcz he’s now going to change. Let that :mango:

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Run. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Them friends will tell you anything you wana hear. Run.

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Welp that’s cheating sooooo…. Fuck that.

He probably does love you but he turns into an idiot when he drinks. It truly depends on what you’re willing to tolerate.

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Time to leave. It’s a bad sign!

Have you ever heard anyone admitting that they are cheating ? No man admits to that. Find someone that doesn’t feel the need to cheat and mess around with other women.

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Run!!! It doesn’t stop!!! Each time it gets worse until he has his d*ck in someone else!! Run far and run fast!!!

If an opportunity were to come about do you think he would do it? If the answer is yes…leave now and quit wasting your life on him. It’s all about what you’re willing to put up with. I personally would dump his ass.

He sounds really immature.

He’s not ready to be a married man. Being drunk is not an excuse to cheat. Apologies without changed behavior/actions is just manipulation.
Know your worth. Your son deserves a better male role model.

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That is literally cheating

He be cheatin’, he’s definitely tried, succeeded? I don’t know. Tried? Absolutely. Don’t be stupid. We can see that he wants other women while with you, so why can’t you? Love makes people blind.

Run now. Before you get married.

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Maybe discuss his drinking first and what happens while drinking instead of just running to a break up.

Communication is key

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I would just leave. He doesnt love you

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Love is not all you need. Respect and honesty is what you need.

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Run. Because he definitely ain’t ready. I had issues with my SO similar to all that and it’s emotionally draining.

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Wants to have his cake and eat it too. You aren’t his mama…aka safe space while he runs off and needs other women to make him feel good about himself. Take YOUR son and go. You will be fine and so will your son.

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He is unlikely to change. Love him or not you deserve to be somebody’s only woman. I know I wouldn’t marry a guy already disrespecting me like that. He obviously is a horny drunk and should be texting and trying to get all frisky with only you if he really respected and loved you. Men are either cheaters or faithful. Go find youraelf a faithful man.

Eww, he’s a creep. Leave him ASAP.

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He’d never cheat??? Sending text messages to other females is cheating or he’s trying his ass off to cheat. You should’ve walked away the first time. Do not let your child grow to love a man who does not respect you and doing this is disrespecting your son!

So its only when he’s “out drinking with his friends” that he wants girls to send him nudes or get naked ? I was worried for a moment that he wouldnt remember drunk driving and killing someone, but just abusing your relationship with his desires of infidelity and lying are perfectly inbounds ?

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He already is emotionally cheating.

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Good bye- get out before you have any kids. He sounds like a loser.

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He is cheating and he isnt going to stop. Walk away now

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Actions speak louder than words. He’s saying he would never, yet he is doing this. Run!

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I really don’t know what is wrong with these women I see similar stories over and over again. Leave and you’ll be doing the best thing ever, stay and you get what you deserve. Men prey on women like you.

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He doesn’t remember asking someone for nudes? And you believed that? I would run the opposite direction and never look back.

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Those messages ARE cheating sooooooo 🤷😬 he already is.

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He totally is that kind of guy.

He already is cheating girl. Time to run!

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If he has to tell you he’s not that type of guy, he probably is :woman_shrugging:

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RUN I would… I’m sorry.
I stayed and now regret it.

He already cheated ? Lmao I’m lost.

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This should read ex-fiance… :woman_facepalming:

Give him a hiding then kick him out

That guy instinct is you knowing things have changed. Don’t be like me and ignore them. Get out

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He isnt loyal. An never will be to you

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That IS cheating. He’s not going to change

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Girl… run and don’t look back.

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Girl I spent 5 years ignoring these messages it never gets better. I know the good times are great but you have to figure out what your willing to deal with.

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If his friend telling you he changed for you RED FLAG :triangular_flag_on_post:

I would’ve got rid of him the first time …he thinks you’ll always forgive him now …get rid x :triangular_flag_on_post: x

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walk away he is in a form cheating on you regaurdless thats disrespectful and disgusting

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He’s the entire red flag. It isn’t just when he’s out drinking with friends, that’s just when you catch him doing it. Please run as fast and far as you can. He has repeatedly broken your trust and shown you what a future with him would be like. Please don’t allow him to treat you like this. If he’s disrespecting you then he’s disrespecting your son. It goes hand and hand. Don’t you want someone who shows your son how to be a great husband? Not that it’s okay to hurt his mom like this :heart:

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I would have left the first time.

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If he has changed so much and still acts in that matter why do you want him? How much more does he have to do so you and your son can move on before it’s to late?

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He’s already cheating!! He can tell you till he’s blue in the face he would never cheat on you when in reality he already has… I never in a million years would have thought my husband of 20 years would cheat on me… He told me over and over he would NEVER cheat… He lied! Just like your “fiance” is lying to you!

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Run! Do you want a life time of always wondering and going threw his phone, pant pockets? Not worth the stress.

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This is manipulation at its finest. My heart is with you. You do not develop amnesia when you are with your friends either. It only took me about 3 years to figure that out :woman_facepalming:. Your son may love him and that is heartbreaking as well to deal with, but in the end you wouldn’t want him to repeat some his behaviors as a man either. At the end of the day, all that matters is how you feel and what you are willing to put up with. There is no easy way to fix this. But how worth it you both are to him means everything. Actions always speak louder than words. :pray: :heart:

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Why is he still your fiancé!?!

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Girl you might love him but he doesn’t love you. If he did he wouldn’t have done that. Being drunk isn’t an excuse, it doesn’t make you suddenly not realize what you’re doing and that it’s wrong. Leave his ass and move on. You and your kid will be fine without him

He’s not ever going to stop

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Hes a narcissist. RUUUNNN. RUN. RUN.

Nah. In my opinion asking for nudes or sending inappropriate messages IS cheating. So he has cheated by doing that. Everyone has their own opinion and boundaries but for me that is a hard limit! Porn is one thing but asking a real life person for nudes is cheating :woman_shrugging:t4: You want nudes ask your girlfriend/wife period! At the very least he’s disrespecting you and your relationship. He’s basically saying to that girl “his girlfriend doesn’t matter enough to not have those conversations, and their current conversatiin means more than being respectful to his SO” That’s unacceptable. You really wanna know how bad it is, just download his entire snapchat history. You’ll probably dislike what you see and it’ll show you he’s “that type”. I’m sorry but you’re better off just ending it now, you’ll replay those messages for years to come. That’s no way to start a marriage.

He’ a cheater!! His best friend is always gonna have his back, they will say anything to you just to make him look good.

The truth is stronger than his excuses. See it for what it is

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