Am I selfish to not want to breastfeed?

I feel this :sob:
The mom guilt :broken_heart:

I’m struggling with this too :face_holding_back_tears: minus the smoking just the guilt

No, I stopped because I absolutely hated it. My little man is 2 months and doing great. That’s exactly why we have formula, love! Don’t listen to the negativity.

1 Like

I wanted to breastfeed my second SO BAD. I didn’t try really with my first. I was 17. Uneducated and it felt weird honestly. But I tried so hard and my son had troubles latching, I had a horrible nurse who was very discouraging and pushing formula. When I got home I settled for pumping and bottles but I only did that for 3/4 months til my sons belly issues were due to a dairy allergy and sure I could’ve changed my diet but my mental health was in the toilet and honestly I needed medication I knew I couldn’t take if I continued. Sometimes you have to choose you. FED is best

It really is a non issue. Do as you feel best.

1 Like

I didn’t breast feed my premie. They gave me a formal made especially for premies. I pumped and mixed half my milk with her formula.
No, that’s not being selfish. Get that thought out of your head. Just ask his pediatrician if they can recommend a good formula to give him. They have access to ones that the average person doesn’t know about, kind of like they do medications. :heart: Good luck and as long as you love and are taking care of him, ur doing well. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone.

Never! You have to have a lot of patience. Time off work. And your mental health has to be able to withstand breast feeding. The only thing that matter is your baby is fed.

1 Like

I’m a breastfeeding mom but also have older kids that had only formula. If you are concerned about smoking and breast feeding. I’d definitely do some research because it’s definitely safe. Breast milk supply doesn’t even out until about 6-8 weeks. Can I ask why you think your supply was tanking? If you are pumping it isn’t a accurate measurement. Baby nursing will always get more out then a pump. There’s so much education that goes into breastfeeding. Wish someone would have told me these things. At the end of the day you have to think of your mental health because if mom isn’t in a good place baby won’t be either.

If your baby is fed, healthy and happy that’s all that matters!

Don’t let this weigh on your heart. Breastfeeding doesn’t come as easily for some. It’s not easy and sometimes things don’t always go according to plan and that’s okay

We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’re given. You gave your baby the most beneficial part of the entire breastfeeding journey. The first few weeks are what they need the most. I always encourage new moms to try and even if they only get through a week or 2 the baby got A LOT from it.

Literally you can just tell the baby you nursed for 2 years and they wouldn’t know the difference. However if you continued and were unhappy, that could effect the baby negatively. Gotta take care of you first

Mom guilt can feel so crushing. No, you’re not selfish or wrong. You can’t worry about how others do things, only what works for you. Nothing matters except happy baby’s with happy mamas.

I started out breastfeeding all my kids but actually only was successful with 1. From my experience breastfeeding is easier once you get past the beginning parts. It’s not selfish to formula feed. Keep the shortages & expense in mind though.

I had to stop around 6 weeks with both of mine. First was because my supply tanked after I started trying only to pump because my nips were TORE UP from nursing so much. Second was because I had 2 surgeries in less than 6 weeks after my daughter was born (tubal and gall bladder) and because I was on pain medications I stopped nursing and pumping so the meds didn’t go to baby and killed my supply that way. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t feel guilty. There’s nothing wrong with feeding your baby formula.

It’s better to be not taking form doping goes to baby formula is fine

No. It’s your body and baby.

You do what’s best for both of you and don’t you dare feel bad for it. Breastfeed don’t breastfeed at the end of the day it honestly doesn’t matter. Healthy happy baby and healthy happy mom is where its at

I feel guilty too but honestly if it’s better for your mental health and baby is still fed and healthy, you’re okay :purple_heart: you’re doing great

Fed is best. And just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean your mental health doesn’t come first. :heart:

1 Like

You don’t WANT to bf, or you CAN’T, because your supply decreased, and you’re smoking? It’s a bit confusing. Why don’t you quit smoking, pump to get your supply back up, and give him what you can while you can? It’s ultimately your decision, but if you want to bf, do what you can to make it happen. If not, as long as he’s fed and growing and healthy, all doctors will tell you, he’ll be fine one way or another. I would personally quit smoking, though. It’s not good for you, nor your family. There’s second-hand and third-hand smoke that can affect families of smokers.

1 Like

It happens. You need to care for you. Formula won’t hurt baby. Goal is to have happy healthy loving MOM AND BABY. Sending lots of hugs momma. Be kind to your self. Love yourself. Love the baby. It will be okay.

2 Likes

No you’re not selfish at all it’s ok to know your limitations. You’re not neglecting your baby by giving them formula and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

1 Like

Fed is best. No matter how they get it.

1 Like

I was only able to breast feed both of mine for 4 months each due to different reasons. I’m one to say feeding is best. Plus its that first milk that’s the best for your baby. Don’t listen to any of the crap others might tell you. As long as your taking care of your baby then your doing great!

In all honesty it would be worse if you were smoking weed and feeding your baby so not breastfeeding is better if you choose to smoke. Weed stays in your breast milk for 6 days after smoking so even the pump and dump method doesn’t work like it would with a glass of wine. Weed in your breast milk can cause hyperactivity in new borns and could alter brain development.

4 Likes

Don’t feel guilty, do what you’re most comfortable with!

1 Like

Its ok love,bottle feeding is not so bad neither and your reasons are understandable stop feeling guilty and enjoy your baby

You do what you think is right and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or wants. Your baby will be loved no matter how you feed.

Breast is best. Yes formula is important for baby to keep going but ultimately breastfeeding is best. I dont think your a bad mom but i dont think you have the right support. I say start pumping and feed baby.

As long as baby is fed momma you are doing good. Stress is a major supply killer, you’re mental state needs to be good to be a good momma

1 Like

I felt this hard, It was so hard to breastfeed my preemie, we stopped doing boob when he was around 3 months adjusted (4months old) and I pumped until my supply dried up and we switched him…. You need to do what is best for you and baby…. If you were too stressed you baby will sense that, don’t feel guilty mama

1 Like

No guilt, I couldn’t breastfeed at all, formula was fine for all of my three.

No you are not. Sometimes the stress after birth is so bad. As long as your baby is drinking well on the bottle. You are doing a good job

As long as your kid eats, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it

3 Likes

Entirely your decision. The whole breast is best crowd are usually filled with people who have little to no problem producing and god bless ‘em for it but that’s not everyone’s story.

There isn’t a single person in the world that will be able to tell the difference as your child grows. Do you, mama.

7 Likes

Keep doing what you’re doing mama!! Baby won’t react to you smoking at all as long as they’re not in the room with you it cannot harm them! :white_heart::white_heart::white_heart:

Do whatever works for you!

No it’s your choice, I never breastfeed any of mine. I have my reasons

Not at all. Fed is best! Also, taking care of your mental health is not selfish either.,

Your child was born early meaning breast milk would have done him good. Breast milk is literally considered liquid gold. If you could be willing be try, you can try pumping every couple of hours, it will increase your milk supply. About smoking, you can try and smoke only when it’s absolutely necessary. Or pump before you smoke. Or smoke at night. All I’m saying is you can still smoke a lil and still breast feed your baby. Wheat products have really been helpful in increasing my milk supply. You can try them if you don’t mind. Otherwise I’m sending you love and light. Been there myself. Used to smoke when necessary, and things got better and I stopped smoking. We are now 5 months on exclusive breastfeeding. You got this mama💪 you just have to be willing to give it a try

1 Like

Your mental health is more important than forcing yourself to breastfeed. Your baby can pick up on the stress and will cause him to have issues while eating. I had to stop at a month because baby was picking up on my stress and was crying more than she was eating

No! Not even the littlest bit. Do not let stuck up snobs let you think any different. It’s not worth the stress.

1 Like

I didn’t breastfeed either of my kids for even a second. Guess what? They’re almost 15 and almost 9. Healthy, happy, barely get sick, no allergies, super athletes, straight A students. There’s nothing to feel guilty for. Happy healthy mom = happy healthy kids. As long as they’re fed, it’s all good.

Girl give that baby formula & take care of yourself :heart:

They all literally end up eating week old McDonald’s fries off the floor in the car I promise

I never breast fed either of my kids–they are now adults and as children they were very seldom sick (never even had an ear infection) and are healthy as adults.

l Get paid over $127 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18621 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This. https://DollarWorth134.pages.dev/

Not at all if your not comfortable with breast feeding or if you aren’t producing enough milk for baby the next best thing is getting bottle feeding. All the best don’t feel guilty either be positive girl … and enjoy looking after your baby. And stop smoking promise you will enjoy life better when you have your health sorted

1 Like

nope. FED is best. i didn’t breastfeed my son at all. & guess what, he’s always been happy healthy, & advanced in all stages. he was also a nicu baby. don’t beat yourself up! i’m sure baby boy is doing great

1 Like

Your baby can still grow up to be happy and healthy without breastfeeding.:heart:

Don’t beat yourself up over it. We do what we have to do to cope with everyday life.

Breastfeeding is so hard I’m on my second round with my second son your mental health is definitely more important!!

Don’t feel guilty. You managed to give it a go and that’s more than many. I’m a huge advocate of breast feeding but I know it just doesn’t work out for everyone and no one has the right to make you feel bad for using formula.

Its not selfish at all.Your mental health,needs to be better set.A mom can’t pour from an empty cup.I’m a firm believer that,fed is best.

Your mental state is more important than breast feeding your baby. Your baby needs you to be well.

2 Likes

Oh sweetheart your mental health is more important I wasn’t able to breastfeed due to severe post partum I have multiple mental illnesses so I was put on meds directly after labor I felt guilty a little bit my son is perfectly fine he is bigger than the average size one year old he thrived on formula he did fine your will be okay

1 Like

Don’t beat yourself up about not continuing with breastfeeding - it’s not for everyone. You have given your baby a month’s worth of your milk - now you have to do what’s best for you and then you will be able to take good care of your baby. You will then both be happy. Take care x

You did breastfeed in the beginning so you passed off antibodies. Breastfeeding is a choice not a requirement.

1 Like

You need to take care of YOU! A ton of women go through depression with having to breastfeed among other things, so don’t beat yourself up. It’s absolutely normal! Also, let me tell you something… I’ve been a preschool teacher for 8 years, and know very well most of my kids who were breastfed and who weren’t. Some of the ones who are sick the least weren’t boob babies, so if that’s what worries you, don’t sweat it :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Don’t feel guilty hun. U needed to deal with your state of mind so you can continue to watch over and protect your child. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that

1 Like

You are not being selfish at all! My youngest son was a premmie and also in the NICU so I know exactly how you feel. He had to be taken to a different hospital (one that had a NICU) than where he was born. I didn’t breastfeed because of the pain meds and everything surrounding his birth. You have to do what is best for you and baby. If not breastfeeding is what you feel is best than do it mama!

1 Like

You tried it wasn’t fir you don’t feel guilty and stop beating yourself up. It’s not for everyone.

1 Like

No. You’re not. It’s your decision to make. The first month is the important stuff, after that mental health and Fed is best.

I have four kids. I breast fed one for six weeks. The others were just about a week or two. It just wasn’t for me. They all had formula and are all healthy adults

Never feel guilty when it comes from breastfeeding. Doesn’t matter for how long, or if at all. Breastfeeding was so hard for me and I would have given it up a lot sooner had my husband not been my rockstar and helped me through it all. Everyone’s bodies, minds and babies are different. It’s natural to do what’s best for you and yours. I pray you and yours are happy and healthy :purple_heart:

1 Like

In order to have a healthy baby that baby needs a healthy mommy.
Dont feel bad.

Dont feel guilty momma…my daughter stayed in NiCu and even though i was producing like a cow , i wasnt able to feed her bc she would projectile vomit… it broke my heart to not do so but at the end she wanted my love not my MILK

You can still smoke weed and breastfeed your baby

What makes you a good mom is doing what is best for you to be the best mom you can be and in this case it was to choose formula. You are doing right by feeding and loving your baby , don’t feel guilty :heart:

No. No guilt! Just be the best at what you can be!

See your doctor about your mental state. As long as your child is healthy you’re both fine
S
Don’t let others judge

No you are not! Guilt will eat at you but as you watch your baby grow and you are in a better healthier mental state your baby will be too!

1 Like

I didn’t want to breastfeed. I’m not sure why but I didn’t so I didn’t. I still formed a beautiful bond and they are healthy