Toxic is toxic. Emotional abuse is real. Verbal abuse is real. You have the right to cut out anyone from your life and your children’s lives when they use and abuse you, that includes “family”.
“I stopped reading at “watching my own kids”
Sounds like such a toxic environment for you, and your kids! Cut her off! Get your own place and hire a babysitter and mail your own postcards.
I may tell her to move out and see if my insurance would cover the PT related help you need.
Thank God my mother would never charge us her kids. She loves all of her grand kids!
She’s the type of person, you’d never tell that you hit the lottery…she is draining you dry on emotions and wealth…Shes heartless and a gold digger…get out of there…
That’s why we move out of mom and dads when we are adults.
You’re obviously working now, if she’s babysitting. If she is living with you, put her out. If you’re living with her, move out. There are assistance programs available to help you with rent, childcare, groceries etc. So you can either room with toxic or put an end to it.
Why are you living with her.why not put the kids in day care.hire s9mebody else to work for you.
Why to do give in to her??? Set up some rules and if she doesn’t abide by them tell her to hit the road!!! She is very toxic and you don’t need that in your life!
People can only treat you that way if you let them.
You really need to start standing up for yourself. Stop giving her money and move out.
Set boundaries don’t hire family.
Move out
Cut her off
Why you didn’t get your own place when got your money instead of paying her thousands
Move out or if it’s your place give her an eviction notice. Find out about daycare or free services in your area.
So find another sitter…move out of her house ect.problem solved
Sounds like it would be cheaper to place your kiddos in a trusted daycare. Cheaper on your finances and on your mental health!
She’s continually treating you like that and taking because you are letting her….my mom lives with me and if she steps out of line and thinks she can tell me what she thinks I need to do the roof will come down. Right quick you better get back in your room and think about the fact that I’m ALMOST 40 and don’t need to be mothered or taught lessons, or anything else you think I don’t need you for. No ma’am.
Move, hire a nanny/helper for your business.
You guys need your own home and lifes!!
Why are you living with your Mom? Or is she living with you? Either way - move or make her move.
Don’t pay her anything she is using and abusing you. You shouldn’t have to pay her to babysit if she truly loved you or those grandkids she wouldn’t want the money and wouldn’t treat you like crap. Cut her off, get your own place.
I feel like there’s more going on here and Mom possibly has reasons for her behavior?
Cut her out!!! nothing worse then a toxic mother
y’all we don’t know this back story . She IS living with MOM. There was an implication in her story that Mom been raising the baby since she was two mostly on her own. Maybe OP was an irresponsible person before the accident , maybe some sort of addiction, maybe that irresponsibility caused the accident. Where’s the kids daddy in all this? I own a bar and grill and a liquor store. This sounds like one of those one sided tales where some one leaves out what they DID for the other person to finally be acting this way. Ive heard a lot of em,and there’s more to this story, imo. Maybe not. Idk the back story either. So How about it OP? Why is your Mom so hard on you and so insistent on making you be accountable? Does she feel she has good reason to be this way?
Cut the fucking cord already… geez.
You never do business with family or friends for this reason.
Is she your employee or your mother?
You’ve blurred the lines and it’s your own fault.
She’s your mother and she doesn’t owe you free/discounted babysitting…
Move out and put your child in daycare!
Get another sitter/daycare, get your own place, and cut her out of your life. Oh and don’t let her work for you anymore either. Just get away from her.
Your mother is treating you like her ATM machine she’s not acting like a grandmother. I wouldn’t ever ask my daughter to pay me to look after her children cause they’re my grandchildren it’s my job to help raise them just like it was my job to raise my kids and my brothers. I would find a different person to look after your child while your working. It seems to me that your mother’s love is conditional
I am a grandmother and would never dream of charging my kids to babysit my grandkids. I love and just look forward to my time with them. Paying your mom to work for you is different. You should hire someone else if she is unhappy. She needs to get a job working for someone other than family. Plenty of jobs out there. It is very difficult living with two women in the same house. Don’t know your circumstances but you need to be on your own and rule your own roost. Hopefully she will be happier on her own also.
If you stop paying her to address post cards and babysit you can afford a place for you and your child. Will it be hard hell yeah, but you will be much happier!
This sounds like a very toxic situation. It truly would be wise to start saving up to move into your own place. I bet once you live under separate roofs, the dynamic in your relationship will shift. Also, is it possible to look into daycare, instead of your mother. If you make under a certain amount, you may qualify for childcare subsidy.
Get someone else and let her see how she can survive with out you.
Find a new babysitter
You’re both in the wrong in certain ways. You are grown and still live with her so really until you get your own place you don’t have much of a say so in what she does in her house, unfortunately.
Don’t give her anymore money because by the sound of it she is costing you more than a nurse and daycare would. Work on moving out and find a different sitter/help. And honestly after making you pay so much even when you were watching your own kids, I wouldn’t send my kids back over there. She will again try to use them to get money out of you. Also never give her money as a gift again. She’ll learn the hard way.
I think it’s time to distance yourself and the kids. Don’t ruin a bond between you and your mom that you will regret. It sounds like she has helped you out a lot when you needed it the most. Don’t forget that! Let her be a grandma for a while, not a babysitter. If helping you out is the only job she has then give her a raise for the business and find another sitter. But I can almost guarantee it will cost more than what she’s asking.
I don’t even charge my niece to watch her kids! I don’t have any grandkids yet, but
I couldn’t see myself charging my child to spend quality time with my grandchildren!
Move out, and pay a real babysitter.
You both sound toxic lol. Not a good environment for the kids.
I would watch my grandchild for free.
Take your kid to daycare and move tf out. That all sounds like a childish mess tbh.
Get out. She is not a mom. Being said that, you both May have some unforgiving issues between you two. Any how, get out of that house and close your ties with your mom for awhile. She is toxic. Or, is in need of professional help.
I lived with my parents till my son was 1 and she never charged me for any babysitting while I worked. I think the best step for you would be moving out. Your relationship with her (if you still want one) will definitely improve if you’re not living together
Leave do your own thing !
You need to move out
Time to move out start fresh on your own 2 feet.
Proper toxic
Your showing your kids this behavour is ok and you have to tolerate it when you don’t
So save up get out
Or go Into homeless or whatever as this isn’t ok
And tbh
You shouldn’t have given her thousands should have saved up and put it towards rent or a way to get out
I would never charge my kids to watch my grandkids
Why are you living with her? That’s your first problem then find a new sitter or day care
I don’t understand how any family member takes money for watching children find alternative childcare and build a bond with your mum that way you don’t “owe her” anything
- Get your own place & be self sufficient
- Cut her off
I paid my mom to watch my 1st born. I wanted to pay her. You need to move out.
Find another babysitter and pay mom what you owe her for the work she does and one of you needs to move. Too much resentment to reach common ground at this point
Uh do you live with her or does she live with you?
If you’re paying her to watch your child, then get childcare. Get out. Don’t look back. You have to teach your child to be strong and stand up for themself.
Pay some1 else to watch ur kids…sounds bit ungrateful to me…not easy on the body watching young kids at a older age…family or not.
Find another babysitter so she can get a job
You need to get out of her house and find a new babysitter!!!
That’s way more than “Lightweight Toxic”. What will she charge for next? Giving birth to you? Time for you to move