Back story. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 7 year. We have a toddler together and another on the way. And he is constantly complaining that I nag on him and he can’t stand me, and has left probably 10 times over the years but I always let him come back. I try and talk things out with him and he always tells me to get away and I always do, but I feel hurt and betrayed he won’t talk to me and actually try and fix things. He yells and isn’t physically aggressive but is mentally and emotionally draining. I feel like he is sucking the life out of me and my kids. I work, and am the only caring for our child, and the house and our daily lives, and he DOES NOTHING. And I am always the bad guy. I just feel like I am at a loss. Do I keep trying? Am I the problem? Am I nagging him to much to help me? It doesn’t help that my parents are always having to save the day when he vanishes, and his parents think im the devil. What do I do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I the problem like my boyfriend says, or I am manipulated and treated like crap by a narcissist
Yahhhh he’s the issue
You have invested too many years in something that wont change. Its time to get out.
I think y’all are both the issue on different levels. Sounds like going your separate ways is the best option.
Sounds like the next time he walks out on you, you gotta change the locks and block his number because he is mentally abusing you. You work, you take care of the child while he does what? You said nothing. There’s your answer. He wants you to be his mommy while having babies himself. Don’t let him walk all over you like this.
I was in a very similar relationship for 12 years. It will never change and that kind of mental and emotional abusive will take such a toll on you. You and your kids would be better off without all that.
Mental abuse is still domestic violence.
Don’t wait for him to walk out, put him out. You and the kids will be so much happier.
He’s consistently showing you exactly who he is, and that person DOES NOT care about you, and you keep letting him back in your life? Nail that door shut!
Leave this man seriously. If you’re letting him come back cause y’all got children together then that’s not healthy for the children in the end. Any type of toxic environment is unhealthy for children and other people including yourself. Tell him to get out and don’t let the door hit him where the good lord split him and then go to court and file for custody and child support against him… emotional and mental abuse is way worse than physical cause the bruises can fade but those words that they say to us when they emotional and mentally abuse us destroys us more ways than we think and I know this for a fact cause I was in both types of relationships (physical abusive and mental/emotional abusive). He only stays cause he likes to use you and be a mooch and the times he leaves I can guarantee you that he had other women on the side and once they got tired of his shit they left n he ran back to you cause he knew u would let him back in. Get his ass out seriously if not for yourself then your children
You deserve better, he’s sounds like an extremely insecure little… You’re already supporting yourself and family, time to take out the trash and start clean.
Children see/hear everything! They will believe that behavior is acceptable. RUN!! THEY DONT CHANGE! I spent a total of 23 years on two different marriages that included gaslighting, both narcissistic asses, cheated, lied, physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. Break the cycle!!! My kids were 10 Mos and 2 years when I left the 1st one and the 2nd one I thought since he didn’t physically abuse me he was a better man…you don’t see just how bad til you leave!!! My now adult children go to therapy to try to heal from the damage of those relationships.
Sweeetheart u an ur kids are better off without him Sorry to say but yes that is a NARCISSIST!!!
HIM TELLING U
GETS OUT means he wants u out…
Take it from experience, you are getting gas lighted by a narcissist. It
Will only get worse and may escalate to physical violence. Also, and I’m not trying to be mean, but it needs to be said, what sort of example are
You Setting for your children?
Huh. sounds to me like you are the life support system for a terminal asshole. What exactly is he contributing to you and your family that is positive and helpful?
Well taking him back everytime is just making you look weak and probably why he knows he can keep coming back. The question is why did you get pregnant again by him if he’s so bad., Girl focus on yourself and your babies.
P.s this All looks doesn’t mean hes a narcissist.any other factors at play and reasons he does that… Jeeze women do this exact crap and you all dont CAll them a narracisst
Do you really think this is the guy God sent you to be with? He handpicked this lazy ass for you? Move on girl. You know he’s worthless. Let him be someone else’s problem.
Leave hun, you do everything for him, and he doesn’t appreciate you hun, you look after the home your kids and work as well, if it was the other way round, he’d be gone, he mones all day and dose nothing to help you, hell y would you want to be with him, he’s a runner, next time leave him out, these people do nothing with there life, and blame everyone else, you work and do everything right, you be mush happier on your own hun, you don’t need that BS in you life, best of luck to you and your kids 
You tell him to go and let the door stay closed 
Get out of it. It will never change. Your children’s mental health is at stake and they will grow up thinking that is acceptable behavior
You are the problem… he does this because you allow it. He leaves, you let him come back. He treats you like shit, you let him stay. As long as you allow the pattern to continue, it will continue. I don’t say this to be mean, I say it because I lived it. My ex made me feel like I was always wrong, always at fault. We went back and forth for years. It went on because I allowed it. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. My motto is: if you’re doing it all on your own, you might as well be on your own. Throw him out, change the locks and don’t let him come back. It will suck for a while, but not because you actually miss him, but because you miss the routine. And it’s not even that you miss it, it’s like breaking a habit. Do better, for yourself and your children! Good luck!
Protect your children by protecting yourself and plot your exit before you end up wearing a burqa and walking 3 steps behind him
Can’t believe you’re even questioning what to do. He’s using you and mentally and emotionally ubusing you. Get out before he gets worse
You’re being gaslit and he’s abusing you mentally hun. Please end it now 
for you and baby’s sake
No don’t keep trying and no you are not the problem. You need to separate you deserve far better
Leave , get yourself a new apt because if he has lived in the one you are in you cannot make him leave. Law in some citys. Also don’t let him sneak and leave even one possession in your new home or you cannot get a court order to keep him out. Also law in some places. If ousted person has one personal item or clothing item, even a old T shirt in rag bag in a home they left or never lived in, it is still considered their home. You are doing it all, plus, now, so do all for yourself.
Leave. Find a way to coparent in a healthy manner if possible. But you deserve better. Your children deserve to be raised in a healthy environment and be able to see what a healthy relationship looks like. You deserve happiness and neither of you sound happy. It’s better to walk away.
Youre stronger than this. Get rid before it gets worse. You’re teaching your kids that this is normal relationship behaviour…break the circle
You tell him to leave and never come back girl! Get that toxic man outta there!
If he’s left that many times and says he can’t stand you, end it now. It’s not a healthy environment. Would you want your kid to treat others that way, or be treated that way? Don’t let your kids think it’s okay.
He sits around using you, contributing nothing and you’re wondering if you’re the problem??
Stop enabling him. Make him leave and let him decide if he wants to man up by actually getting a full time job, paying his own bills, caring for his children, etc. If not, there’s your sign.
Kick his ass out y u even have to ask a dumb ass question
Time to leave him…he won’t change, and if your doing all by yourself now, might as well be by yourself, and have less stress and drama… I promise it’s worth the piece of mind, and your babies will be happier too. Good luck
Kick him to the curb. Get a good job. Get child support. Take care of yourself. So you oh can take care of your children.
Instead of asking yourself if you are the problem, ask yourself these questions instead: Why do I keep letting this man back in my life when he suggests the problems are my fault anyway? If the problems are my fault, why would this man keep wanting to come back into my life? What does this man contribute to our life that makes it fun and fulfilling? When was the last time I felt like i was actually in love with this man? How much better off would I be mentally without him?
please let him fck off he sounds like a piece of shit who tries to make himself look good coz he doesn’t wanna be with you anymore clearly, let him walkhis never gon change he wants out let him go ul do urself a favor
What you allow is what will continue.
From what I have learnt they DON’T change.
Don’t keep putting yourself through that.
I think deep down you know the answer. He hasn’t changed in 7 yrs and won’t in the future. Run away dont walk. Kick him to the curb. You deserve better and you shouldn’t have to beg anyone for anything.
Haha sounds like my ex minus the kids. Classic narcissist behavior. Most likely learned from a parent
It does sound like he is a narcissist. They don’t take blame for anything they refuse to work on anything. Save yourself and kids! Kick him to the curb as it won’t get better, only worse
Whilst he is out pack his stuff up, put it out the front and change the locks so he can’t get back in.
I agree tell him to leave and not come back. I wasted twenty years of my life with someone like that. You can’t get them back to do over. And your children deserve better.
Get out and stay out!
honestly, it’s all him. get rid of that soul drainer. like you, many many years ago I constantly nagged my kids dad to even paint the hallway while I took our child out ALL day and was heavily pregnant too. came back and like the man child he is, he’d more or less painted the white ceiling (he’d painted the day before) the same colour the walls were (cookie brown btw) so I made him redo the ceiling the next day! he had the arse ache coz he wanted to play his PS3 
like I said, man child. anyways, yours needs to go coz constantly feeling like you need to nag and him basically saying he dont value you is no way to spend your life. I’m glad I got rid of the dead weight.
You’re never the problem. Run.
When you allowed him back the first time without changes that sets the bar that things will not change. Offcourse ur the bad guy to his parents and your parents probably want you to give ur head a shake as my dad did…this doesn’t change so the next step is asking yourself is that what you want.
Why have another child with him 
You’re not the problem he is.
If he’s not bringing anything to the relationship and only making shit worse get rid of him FOR GOOD! From the sounds of it you’re already holding it down on your own. so why do that while purposely tying an anchor around yourself?
Drop the dead weight and keep doing what you’re doing. Girl don’t settle for less just because he’s the father of your kids and you’re afraid to be alone. That’s what vibrators are for…
Get out now l dealt with this behaviour for 10 years go get custody of your children and stay away from him give him supervised visits and you are not crazy you are beautiful and deserve better l am not gonna lie it will be hard at first but you got this momma l am always here if you need to talk