Yes love, you are your problem. You are hurting yourself… and your children by staying with an abusive partner. Abusive partners never change. You must change. You must save yourself and your kids and walk out….or next boyfriend gives you an ultimatum… take him up on it, let him leave, put his crap outside. If you do not need him for anything including child support… all the better… then he can’t have a hook back into your life; especially if no DNA testing was done… he has no claim to the kids. Get out, go to family if that is possible. Stop living a lie and free yourself.
After 7 years and now pregnant you know and knew years ago that he was abusive and a narcissist. Why now? Did something happen?
You have been trauma bonded to a very sick guy. I can’t diagnose him but he sounds like he could use help, however, guys like him never go. They think they are right about everything and have people (parents in this case) who validate them. These highs and lows are tumultuous but can be addictive as well and likely why you can’t cut him loose and continue the intimacy. Once you get help to get yourself mentally stronger and gain clarity you will then realize the toxicity of your life and the one you are giving your children. When you get stronger they get all loving and you think you have changed something. It’s part of his repeated pattern to keep you exactly where he wants you. It’s not easy to get rid or leave the father of your children, however, think of them. If you can see all the drama that is going to have a severe negative impact on your children then at least separate for them. Just relax and have your baby. Try and get support from friends and family to move forward. It’s not fair for you to be in this situation but if you get professional help and start planning you should be fine. After 7 years you will miss him but once he’s gone and you are able to breathe freely you will be able to be a great mom.
Honey,time to move on. Pack up and go. You will be amazed at how much better you’ll feel within a couple of weeks-months.
You aren’t the problem, he is. Call his bluff. If you are the problem (according to him) leave and see how unhappy he has to do things for himself, by himself.
Leave him and get YOU back - will be a happier home for your kids.
Throw the whole man away
Goodbye to him immediately
Simple find a new man. This guy isn’t right for you
You teach people how to treat you…
You leave and don’t look back. You already know this.
Why would you want to be with him?
Did you notice that large Red Flag, or did you look under the flag?
Your not a nag most guys do have selected hearing. They hear what they want to hear and ignore everything else that was said. FACT! Now, you need to teach your kids not to act like this shinging example of their dad! If he says" I’m OUT of HERE"! ,Let him GO! See how far he will get? He doesn’t want to be a father but that is too late. He should step up to the plate. But he acts like they are not his responsibility, & neither are you? Sure, get a blood test and suprised he’s the FATHER!!, Maybe that should snap him out of it? Or you leave,move back in with your parents until you find an apartment on your own.
My niece just did this with her Ex. She choose to take their son and move out of State. He my great grand nephew is so smart. She is doing so much better without him her Ex. She said “She had no idea to have so much courage to leave a broken relationship”. She didn’t see the signs, we did. But she had to do this on her own w/ her son. She moved from Atlanta to Minnesota by Grey Hound Bus. Living her life. So, If she could do this so can you. You are much stronger than he is. But do ask yourself why do I need to be in this relationship with him calling you names, why should your kids see that, it’s not normal?
You don’t need a man child. Kick him to the curb. He can go back to his parents and they can finish raising him.
Sounds like you don’t belong together. Kids are better off without fighting parents.
Get rid of him and find a real man he’s using you
Get rid of the BUM!!! Tell him to “GET OUT” FOREVER and don"t EVER COME BACK!!!
Take ur kids and run sis
Have you considered counseling? I think your options are to keep accepted being treated horribly or leave the situation. I am sorry but its not possible to change other people, even just asking them to help you won’t happen. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
Dump his worthless ass and get yourself together for ur kids sake
If a friend came to you with this story, what would you tell her?
Not sure what your support system is but I would probably bet they have been waiting for you to dump him or have asked you too at some point. I’m sure you will have the support you need if not there is all kinds of resources out there to help get you away from him. Don’t let him to continue to hold you back from a much better life for you and your children. Good luck girl keep your head up and stay positive it will get much better .
Get out and never look back!!!