Guilt plays out in many ways…it may be her way of apologizing to you
This made me mad god I could slap your mother, how dare look at her own life.Stop her from your life she sounds very bitter and jealous
Cut her off, I see what she’s doing. She’s dishing it back, “mom” has to go. She doesn’t even deserve to be called Mom. She is going to do some real evil moves if you don’t cut her off.
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Don’t take your past out on your partner. They are his kids too.
Your mom allowed the behavior. Why are you allowing her around your children?
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You don’t padlock children’s doors because what if there is an emergency at night and you need to get in or the child needs to get out- yes you have a right to be annoyed becomes that is terrible advice. I would definitely have some significant boundaries with her. You deserved to be validated as a child and she has no right to project whatever she is on your life now especially if she didn’t support you as a victim when in fact something was happening. Best wishes to you 
Transference. Your mom is transferring her thoughts/fears/feelings (plus added unacknowledged guilt, which she SHOULD feel) to you, which is wrong. The best thing would be for her to deal with it in therapy but barring that, it may be best for you and your kids to cut ties with her as she is creating fear and dissonance where there should be none. And, TRUST your own instincts.
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Young one - your mother made the mistake- you each learned a lesson- different yet the same. You need to sit down and explain this - listen to what she says - I’m sure you both can resolve this . 
- Remember to parents - sometimes don’t like their kids teaching them- but with time and thinking about it - they usually come around.
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She feels a lot of guilty at her side of the fence on account of what and how she treated you and how as a Mom for not being strong enough in the past in not putting you first. Yet at the same time you still should pay attention when it comes to your kids and people around them
Her actions might be caused from the trauma of what happened to you. I’m hoping that she had no idea what her ex was capable of doing, and she probably feels like she failed you. Thus might be her way of trying to do for her granddaughter what she couldn’t do for you. If it’s possible try to calmly talk to your mom and tell her why her current actions are so upsetting. You shouldn’t have to have such horrible things brought to your attention by the woman who failed to stand up for you when you were a child
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OMG… I would thrown her out of my house.
I wouldn’t allow HER around my child. SA isn’t something to be taken lightly and for her to continually bring up the past like that is awful. She’s projecting her guilt and pain of the past onto you and that can cause emotional trauma for you (having to think about it again), your SO (being accused) and your daughter (what happens when she gets older and understands). Get her away from your family and tell her to get help.
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I would just cut ties with her.
Not suggesting that you should padlock your daughter’s room. However, you seem a little defensive about your partner. Ask yourself whether you would believe your daughter hands down, no question, if she came to you and said she was being molested? If the answer is anything other than “yes” your daughter could experience the same thing you did.
Given that you have known pedophiles in your family, keep in mind that your mother may also have been abused as a child.
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I would not nesesarrily cut ties all together with ur mom but I would restrict her interaction with your current family. Tell her she has no authority in your home or over your family. She couldn’t keep u safe when she had the chance, what makes her think u should listen to her now … u have been thru this b4. U know what to look for n I’m sure u are very aware of your daughter n anyone she may come in contact with. By nurture, u r already on the watch. When she comments on this with no proof , walk away…tell her to leave. Her instincts are not to good as u already know. Love her from a distance. Unless she has proof that something is going on. Her voice should not b heard. Be aware of your family n do whatever u need to keep your family safe. She had her chance n blew it. Don’t let her negativity distract your family from being whole. But always stay aware. Teach your daughter to talk with u daily. About anything!! Be your daughters best friend and mom. Be calm, honest n do not judge n your daughter won’t have a problem telling u if there is ever a problem. No matter who is in your daughter’s life, if u have a clear line of open conversation and honesty without judgement you will not only make your daughter safe to speak freely to u but u will feel safe as well … give your daughter the home u didn’t have … Remember action follows… your actions to any conversation speaks volumes… remember the way your mom was, it didn’t help to speak to her . Make it work for your daughter. Then anyone can say anything n u will know the truth!!
No, screw her & her guilt.
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She is projecting. She is telling you to do what she knows she should have done. Cut her off.
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Sounds like trying to make your SO look as bad as your step-father. She wants you to feel like any one could make a mistake in choosing a partner to be around their children. She is trying to justify what happened to you. I would stay away from her she is toxic to you and your children.
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Your significant is an older gentleman…she might be hung up on him, her own self. It happens.
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Tell your mom to simply fuck off!!! She sounds toxic as hell. Cut her off. When your daughters older what will she say to her in private?
No id be more than irritated. She had no right. Tell her to do one. You support your daughter and love her something she showed little of towards you, she supported a pedo over her own child something i would remind her of every time she spoke on your partner. Protect your own little family and show her the door
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Her guilt for not protecting you as a child may be surfacing. Just a thought I am by no means diagnosing anyone. Schedule a therapy session and talk about it, maybe bring your mom and SO to a visit.
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Don’t punish your child’s father for the sins of your step dad, let him be a normal dad to them so he can show them how a man should treat them as they grow. Daughters need that. I’m sorry you weren’t though all that with your step dad but it is different with bio dad’s and most men aren’t monsters. Your mom in the other hand owes you big time and needs to back off on judging who you are with just because she can’t get her own life straight with her bad choices.
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Screw your mom. Maybe she realizes now what a f*** up she was.
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Do not put a lock on the outside of her door. It is extremely dangerous in events such as a fire or break in. Do call out your mother for not caring enough about you to protect you and defending an abusive pedophile. Then limit or cut contact with her toxicity.
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I would move as far away from her as I could get and leave no forwarding address.
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Let it go. I’m sorry you went through so much, but you seem to have successfully come out the other side of the ugliness. Your mother made a terrible mistake with you & your stepfather. Maybe she’s realized how wrong she was & is trying to protect your daughter wherever couldn’t protect you.
Let it go, don’t let it eat you up inside! Maybe have her spend time with your s/o so she gets to know him. Good luck!
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She is being a sarcastic ass and she is being hurtful. I would limit my time around her
her reaction to what happen to you was wrong, sounds like she may have had some SA also and is damaged… sounds like theres a lot of it in the family so I wouldn’t just shack off whats she’s saying … she might have a better sense of people with them kinds of inner secrets then you think…
Just be aware and keep your babies safe…
The constant comments are an unnecessary reminder for what happened and what she had done. She is shifting the blame. You shouldn’t be paying the price for her horrible mistakes. You need to move on and allow yourself to heal. Locking your daughter up and keeping an eye on her 24/7 is unrealistic and she will resent you for that. Trust and honesty are a two-way street. Having a healthy relationship with your daughters are more important. I would limit or cut contact with your mother’s toxicity unless she gets therapy and stops the ridiculing.
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As a victim of childhood abuse myself I am getting rather irritated by all the comments about the ops mother stating she was probably abused herself. That’s just letting her off and goving her more excuses to play victim as my own mother did/does in a very similar situation.
I can guarantee if she was abused she would not react this way when she found out about her daughter or how she is being now.
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I would not let that woman in my house.
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Maybe she regrets not seeing it with you, probably didn’t want to believe it which is why she acted how she did and now that its a grand baby she’s just being eyes wide-open now, not saying he would but her alert is set to high.
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She is wrong. However, I bet somewhere she is harboring guilt for what was done to you. I’m sure she felt like she knew her husband, and thought he wasn’t capable of doing what he did to you. So this also might be her (weird and improper) way of trying to protect your daughter. It isn’t just step parents that commit SA anyway it really just depends on the person.
Too bad she wasn’t worried about that when you were getting abused
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Your mom is not changing she will keep believing what she wants to you can’t change her thinking even though it s totally wrong stay away from her have short conversations on phone find a nice kid in your area for babysitting she’s toxic to your life right now why agonize over her antics. It’s a waste of your time maybe after a couple years of you giving Hera cold shoulder you will see a difference but don’t count on it
I’m sorry for what happened to you. My step-father did the same thing to me. I’m married and not in my mom’s life and she still blames me to this day what happened to me.
See ya later mummy 
there would be no way in hell, i would let her ever say anything to you - and i would stand my ground and let her know to back the hell off anything anout that subject since she failed you- AND still hangs out pedos
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Cut your mom off. She is toxic. She was not there for you as a child and now she is projecting bs onto your dude.
Her guilty conscience, is eating her alive.
Sounds like your mother was a danger to you and can’t be trusted to actually protect kids. Sounds like someone I’d never allow around my children or myself ever again.