Am I wrong for not wanting my sons dad to claim him on taxes?

My son’s dad finally asked if he could claim our son on taxes next year…we have had it in our custody agreement that I claim our son every year due to being the primary caregiver. I’ve also looked up the rules on claiming a dependent and have also been informed every single year when filing taxes that the dependent must live with you for 50% of the year or more in order to claim them or you could get in trouble if your ever audited. He has our son every Friday for 4 hours and every other Saturday for most of the day so he definitely doesn’t qualify for 50% of the year or more. He has also recently been put on 2 years probation and has some pretty hefty fines he needs to pay which is why I think he is now asking to claim him. He doesn’t have his social security number so he can’t just go ahead and do it but do you think if he went to court for it they would grant him every other year in taxes? The child tax credit was $3600 this year and he only pays $2300 in child support and everything else my son needs while he’s with his dad his mom(my sons grandma) pays for it all so I have a hard time just letting him claim him anyway. Am I wrong?


I let my ex do it one year to be nice to let him pay back his back child support and we’ll he owed so I learned the hard way

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I wouldn’t let him claim. And if he does without permission he will get in trouble. You are not wrong.


Just an fyi. They can claim the dependency but cannot claim any credits for them. If they do not live with them for more than 6 months. I have gotten every credit even if my ex got his dependency.


No, you’re not wrong. And he is responsible for his own issues.

However, a friend of mine recently just asked the other parent of their child if they could claim their daughter this year due to hardship. Between the two of them, they are able to resolve this by agreeing to alternate years. The other parent understood that they had hit hard times and needed to purchase a safe vehicle and agreed to help them out, simply because they’re human and deserve a break. :woman_shrugging:t3:


I wouldn’t change it for him. Sorry. You have him way more than FT.

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My court order specifically states that my ex claims my daughter every other year. However, he hasn’t seen, spoken to or even asked about her in 12 years (she just turned 13 3 months ago). My tax professional told me that even though it’s written in the court order he claims every other year, I will claim her every year since I have had her full time for the last 12 years.


No you’re not wrong, you should claim your son if you are the primary caregiver. But you’re wrong if you think he can’t just get the SS# for your son himself since he is the father and file the taxes. Now if he files you can take him to court, but nothing is “preventing” him from filing


It’s court ordered. Say no

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My ex is a narcissist and we have it court ordered I claim both my kids each year. My ex don’t like that bc he was scared not claiming one of his kids on taxes. He’s trying to get me to let him claim them or one next year… Yea no


Not wrong. You have a court document stating you claim your son on your taxes. His financial situation is NOT your problem. You’ve been claiming him previously. If you let the ex claim him, next year he will find another excuse to claim him again. You deserve that tax benefit since he is with you the majority of the time.


You’re not wrong. Absolutely do not let him claim.

If he paying child support and only wants to claim him once, I could see allowing him 1x to claim him, but he would need to make that request prior to tax season depending on how you filing throughout the year.


He legally cant claim your kid if hes not primary

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No he shouldnt. No dont feel bad.


Just file and claim your son. If he does then he’s in trouble not you. If he already claimed him just do it anyway. The IRS will sort ot out. Been there done that

No you’re not wrong. He’s wrong

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Here is the thing. You didn’t get into that legal trouble, he did. And someone said that you should let him have the money because it is for the sake of the child. It’s not. It is for his sake. That child will be fine either way. You letting him have that money is just going to show that he can do whatever he want and someone will be there to bail him out “for the sake of the child.” Sometimes people have to be responsible for themselves and not rely on others. You stick to that court order because that is in the best interest of the child. You are doing good momma. Don’t get sucked into problems that are not yours.


I know here in Australia a parent must have 50% of custody a week to get family tax benefits A&B
Also in order to get that the CSA (child support agency)
Has to do an assessment of the other parent income before tax
Failure to do so may result in a debt to the commonwealth of Australia


The law is 50% of the time in order to claim. Both can claim a child! Just most men don’t know that. And you don’t “lose out” of being the primary custodial parent. Also dad can get social security number just by going to social security office if he’s the father on the birth certificate. Just stating facts, not starting a war here


Gotta love the time of the year when kids are looked at like dollar signs :woman_facepalming:. It’s just sad .


Only my opinion. I don’t think this question needed to be posted I think the answer is obvious

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As the custodial parent, you don’t have to let him claim him. If you wanted to, you would need to fill out a form 8332 and he would have to file that along with his taxes. You would still get to claim head of household if you are single, and you would still get to claim earned income credit, and Child care credits. He would only claim the child as a dependent and get the child tax credit/additional child tax credit. How the 50% rule applies is if the child is in the custody of one or the other parent at least 50% of the year. (So if he’s with you 9 months, that’s fine. If he’s with you 12 months, that’s fine. But if he’s with you 4 months, and Aunt Mary for 8 months, you can’t claim him or give that up to the other parent.) Then the custodial parent can give up their dependent to the non custodial parent with that form. Your divorce decree/custody arrangement is not the same as a written declaration and a form 8332 should really be used. But again, this is what the IRS says you can do. If you don’t want to let him claim his child, you don’t have to. But if you decide to do so, please have a tax professional do yours and his taxes to make sure it’s done right. It can get tricky with all the credits if you’re not familiar with the ins and outs.

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If it’s in the court order then no, you don’t have to. However would it kill you to give him some of the refund? If he is a good and present dad, then help him out with a little. I wouldn’t give him the number, but also nothing is keeping him from going to pick up his own birth certificate and take it to get his own social security card from your kid.

No, no & no.
Stick with the Court order.

His financial mess & fines…not your problem. Don’t take it on.

You have a kid to take care of, & the Court gave you primary for a reason.
This reason. Hes… unfit and irresponsible.
He…can go petition the Court if he wants it changed from what it is now. Its unlikely he’ll make the effort.


Nope not wrong. Since it’s in the court order, all you have to do is show that paperwork to the IRS if he somehow does claim him and he will get into trouble. Whatever you do, don’t give him your child’s SSN. My ex asked the same of me and I said nope because of our court order.

I was able to claim the kids every other year for taxes but was able to claim them for the eic every year cuz they lived with me he tried claiming them for the eic but got caught and had to pay back the money

wtf hell no you don’t let him claim. Nor do you give him your kids social security number.


Nah fuck that. You are the main parent.

My ex and I have two daughters together so I claim one and he claims the other. We also split everything 50/50 when it comes to our babies. He really does go over and beyond what he has to do. I think it just depends on the relationship you and him share. If you are not comfortable with it then don’t do it until it is otherwise stated by the court.

My parenting plan has it set that my ex can legally claim our son since i am a stay at home momma and he also pays his child support an takes our son every weekend even though I Have primary custody he is still allowed too claim our son cause it’s gone through the court to do so

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I feel it should be equal that you both take a turn in claiming the kid since he is active in his life and pays a good amount in child support and he can ask the courts to do so and they usually look at a few things to determine

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Not wrong at all!!! The child lives with you and that’s who should claim him. Once you give him the social he won’t ask you anymore, he would just claim him and that would be a nightmare for you.

Absolutely not. He got into trouble. Not your responsibility. He can’t legally claim anyway.

Yes, if he takes you to court he can do that. My ex only sees my daughter every other weekend and claims her every other year.

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He can still try to claim him and if you both claim him they will flag and adiut you both been there more than once .

If it’s about helping him financially, then why not just give him the credit amount after you file? Follow the court order and keep everything by the books or else you’ve set precedent to allow it to continue in following years.

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If lives with you and u claim regularly don’t change a thing. My ex claimed one year and i claimed rest of years being custodial parent.

Just simply say no. It’s in the custody agreement. They won’t change that for a couple hours a week. Don’t stress. Just claim him. If he does as well, he’ll have to pay it back.


That money is to help pay for things for your child. Not pay his hefty fines that he compiled.

Just here for the comments because I have a very different opinion when it comes to child support and taxes than most :joy:

You have to follow the court order. Period.

So even though I gave my ex husband 50-50 time with our son.

I still had it in the plan that I claimed him every single year.

My reasoning is I knew he wouldn’t truley ever be involved. And he wasn’t. Isn’t.

Pick up and drop off is what he did. That’s it.

Never attending anything. Never paying child support even back owed. Never paying for school clothes etc. I even provided those things for his house just so my son could go over there to spend time with his dad

So that’s my reasoning.

And with your Child’s father not having your child not even a full month. I agree that you should file the taxes and claim your child.

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Til the court says otherwise, u claim child. Who’s going to give u that money u will lose. It’s for Ur child’s well-being. Nobody told ur ex to get in trouble. Not ur problem anymore. Take care of urself n urs!


What you don’t mention is if he pays child support regularly? In my case with my daughters father despite the court order some years we made exceptions. If one of us was really in need and it was the others year to claim, we looked at who would get the most benefit and that parent claimed. Then we split the amount. 50/50. He didn’t always have her exactly 50% of the time (I didn’t keep a calendar down to the hour) maybe 45% plus but he did contribute and was a good dad. You are not wrong legally and by right he should not claim but depending on the situation and relationship that worked for us once or twice. My daughter is an adult now and her Dad and I have a good relationship still . I am grateful for that so many people don’t :pray:

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he wouldn’t be claiming :poop: if it were me.

i have a custody agreement. i have primary physical & sole legal custody.

Yes he could get an order for every other year as long as he’s current on CS and rightfully should be allowed to claim every other year.

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My ex husband claims my daughter and she never lives or even goes visit him she is always with me and I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to claim her as well cause I pay for mostly everything for her other than what little bit he give me for child support.

Divorce papers, custody papers, don’t mean a thing to the IRS. It’s who the child has lived with. Since your ex doesn’t have an SS number he could file… Be sent in to an audit and never see a dime.

Don’t let him. You have the child you get to claim him. It’s not your fault he’s got into trouble. And using the kid to pay off fines that he got himself?!? Absolutely not. Do not give in to him. And I do believe he won’t get to claim him every other year unless he has that 50 percent custody.

Nope it’s in your court order that you claim him so that’s that even if he wanted to go through the hassle and cost of court over it any reasonable judge isn’t going to grant this as he is only seeing the child 4-6 days a month.

By all means get the IRS involved in your lives, it is ILLEGAL for him to claim a dependent that does not reside 50% of the time with you, if your ex wants to challenge you in court with a custodial modification let him, but until then keep claiming him

Nope I wouldn’t let him claim your child. His fines are his responsibility so let him figure that out himself. Claim your child and use the money for new school clothes and such for the upcoming year.

Sounds like you are using your child as a means of getting back at your ex. Does he pay child support! The decent thing to do would be ask the court their permission for him to claim the child.

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No your order states what it does and if he’s to claim it could land u in a audit right

You have the right to claim as long as custody is the same and he only gets him so little amount of days you’re primary care giver you claim him he can go back to court but if he has fines and is on probation and such they probably won’t give him more time and won’t let him claim him to pay for those things the money you get back for kids on taxes is for your child and things they need.

Legally, the custodial parent gets to claim the dependents on their return. Some people do make different arrangements in their divorce stipulation. If yours states you claim your son every year, that’s what you do.

Don’t let him claim on his taxes.

You are not wrong at all. Like you said he just wants to claim him to get the money for the fines he owes, well he made his bed and now he has to lie in it.

Nope, not a chance. He can find another way to get money

Do not let him claim your son, ever. Your son isn’t for profit. Thats your son’s money. It’s meant to better his life. Your ex isn’t going to use it for him. He’s going to use it for himself.

It’s illegal for him to claim him if he doesn’t actually live with him 50% of the time or equal to six months outta the year every other weekend doesn’t count. So it would actually be tax fraud on his behalf. I understand that some people do it but they usually alternate years it’s going to look weird that you’ve been claiming that social security number for a CTC and then all of a sudden he’s being claimed by another HOH. Believe it or not little tiny things like that DO spark audits I understand that it’s rare but I personally have been audited for something similar… It’s worse now post pandemic cuz they auditing everybody. NOW I get NO $$ back and they keep it to pay off what I owe.:woozy_face::face_with_peeking_eye: I wouldn’t allow it but you do you.

Only way he could do it is if he has the child 6 months out of the year AND he makes more than you. If not, he can’t.

Do not let him. Do not give him your child’s social, whose to say he won’t try to keep filing him after that year.

Does he pay child support ?

No I don’t believe he can take you to court just over the filing he would have to go for custody and include that. I won’t let my sons dad claim him as he doesn’t even see or talk to my son and my son lives with me 24/7

Why would you even think of doing something like that. There is a simply. No.

No, definitely not. He has to have him atleast 6 months out of the year.

No, if he’s dumb enough to take you to court about it, he will lose!

Nope don’t do it he needs to learn to be responsible for his kid and life not you catch his slack he u doing that already raising his kid no maam

So basically you are considering paying your sons money, that is given to provide things your son needs, to your ex simply because he wants it? Nah.

That’s some audacity to even ask on his part. No is a complete sentence. Absolutely not. Wow. Get those tax credits, mama. You deserve them and you’re legally and frankly, morally entitled to them. This is money to help your child’s household. Where your child lives. What does dad need it for? It’s not like it’s going to benefit the child. He’s just being SUPER selfish. Unbelievable that he’d even ask to take money away from his child’s household. Wow. I’d keep conversation minimal with this guy and get your taxes in ASAP. Oops, it’s already done, sorry! :sunglasses::nail_care:t2:

Ask him if he’s short on funds from having his child for a few days each month.

Nope. Go by the court order.

Man I wish we could get 2300 in child support :rofl: my husbands lazy ass bm is supposed to pay $91 a week and doesn’t even pay that

Negativeeeeeee. He ain’t getting the benefit. No maam