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“I am a mommy to a 8 year old and 9 month old, and my 8 year old just got a new phone and I’m uncomfortable with her sending her bio mom pics of my 9 month old. Is that wrong? A little back story: I have been with her dad for 6 years and have had a lot of issues with bio mom. At one point she would tell her daughter not to talk to me or say my name, snatched her out of my hands at a public place when she saw me holding her while it was dads time with baby, and even met for parent pick up and drop offs in bikinis with no covering. She has never been civil with me even though I have always respected she is the mother and I am just here to add to the love my bonus daughter receives. At this time I try and have as little contact with her as possible and so does dad. Dad has half custody alternating weeks, so normally we get her after the school week ends and see bio mom very little. I had two miscarriages prior to my rainbow baby and am just very afraid of any negativity and evil eye coming her way. Please give me insight on what I should do. Thank you.”
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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“I don’t blame you for feeling this way. But she’s a proud big sister and those are adult problems that she wouldn’t understand. Keep being wonderful to that little girl and she will realize how petty her mother is being eventually. Stay strong your the bigger person here.”
“Don’t do anything. She’s not going to kidnap your baby (right?). It’ll just cause more issues between you too. Ignore her in every way. That 8 y/o loves her mommy so it’ll be hard if she starts feeling the hated you have for each other.”
“I think that’s just adding to the petty drama. I would not care as long as the mom doesn’t do or say anything derogatory about your child. Don’t punish the kid for the actions of the parent. Let it go. It’s petty.”
“She’s probably just proud to be a big sister and wants to show her off. I mean, eventually she’s going to see the baby in person right? So whats the big deal about a few photos.”
“Just remember the baby is the 8 year olds sibling & she probably just wants to show off the baby to her mom. Try to let it go & rise above her negativity.”
“The child is just happy showing off her new sibling. Unless the bio mom says hurtful/harmful things about the baby I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”
“You have every right to not want pics sent. Just be really nice to your 8 year old when explaining it and there shouldnt be a problem.”
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