So to start, I’m expecting my first baby. I’m 6mo along and due April 11th of this year. I’m 5’1 and im 26yo, pushing 27. My weight started at 118 and I’m currently 131 but it doesn’t show at all!! I don’t look a day past 4mo, if that. My dr says my baby is healthy and we are both doing fantastically!
So fast forward here.
I have a lady I work for in my caregiver job and her family are all pretty large people. I am not. Like I said, I’m petite. I tell them what’s happening regularly in my pregnancy and they tell me how I need to eat more and the reason I’m not showing at all is cuz I’m basically starving myself and my child. I have let a lot of those comments go as I work for these people and respectfully decline a lot of meals they try to force me to eat (I’ve never had a big appetite).
Last night, Nye, my mom, me, my step father, and his brother and SIL went to dinner.
I have been very adverse to food the last few days and a lot of it comes back up.
Got told by my step father’s SIL that I looked sooo thin and unhealthy and she couldn’t believe how I had lost weight(I haven’t) but how unhealthy my face looked and yada yada yada.
Well it took everything I had to not say something to her then and there as me and my step dad would’ve had a huge clash in the restaurant so I just calmly told her I hadn’t lost any weight and was actually extremely healthy for how I small I was.
It ate away at me and I made a post cuz I got tired of being put down for how small I am.
I never once mentioned who it was for, I just simply stated that if you didn’t have any direct involvement with my pregnancy and where I was at or have not been to an appointment with me, you have no right to make any comment about how I look.
My step dad knew I made the post regarding his SIL but didn’t know I had been put down continuously by others as well. So he went and unfriended me on fb. Told me I had no right to air anything out of fb even though I didn’t direct it at any one particular person.
I’m just sick of getting my feelings hurt and not being allowed to stand up for myself or anything to anybody thats not my mother.
He didn’t once say anything to her and immediately took her side saying I’m in the wrong and should’ve spoken up but to do so in front of him, would’ve caused WAY more problems than me just posting about my feelings on fb cuz I would’ve said a few choice words to her that he would’ve literally shunned me for saying, for God only knows how long.
Needless to say, when he unfriended me, I sent him a message telling him why I posted and that it wasn’t only her hurtful remark to me that made me post but the fact that I’ve been dealing with these comments with no support or help from him or my peers knowing damn well it REALLY bothers me and hurts my feelings.
I took my post down shortly after and I did contact his SIL telling her why I made my post and why her comments hurt my feelings. Knowing my actions of posting were petty, I wanted to reach out. So she accepted my apology and proceed to tell me she in no way, meant her comment to hurt feelings but was instead just really worried about me.
I love my step dad. I love his family and I love my client I care for. I felt backed into a corner and didn’t feel like I had any other out other than to express myself publicly without calling anybody out directly or hurting people’s feelings like mine had been.
Am I wrong for the post in general even though I just expressed i didn’t care for the remarks made by others and would not be accepting any criticism from anybody without them receiving attitude in return. My mom is wholeheartedly on my side and understands as she’s extremely small weight size, as well and gets comment from his family too but he never stands up for us. Instead just gets mad that we say anything back at all or the fact that it even bothers us, just pisses him right off. Sorry for my long post.
I’m feeling backed into a corner and overwhelmed