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QUESTION:
"I’m at my wits end with my husband and his child’s mother. They broke up when the child was still really small and he hasn’t been able to see the child at all since he left. The contact just started again in November maybe? And already she has blocked us because of us not wanting to see pictures or videos of said child with her “fiancé “. Mind you this is the third guy she’s had around this child having child call them “daddy”. I feel terrible but I’ve completely emotionally detached from the situation. I still care for the child. It’s crystal clear that she does not want either of us in the child’s life. So why fight so hard for something she has full power over? It’s not my place. We’re thousands of miles away from them so court really won’t do any good unless we manage to pay for somewhere temporary to stay near them during the whole thing. That’s not an option. Are we wrong for throwing in the towel and letting her have her way?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Don’t see how you could give up on a child because of how their parent acts."
"Why would he want to stop fighting for his child! Just because you are over it doesn’t mean he is!"
"It’s not your child so you don’t have a say or any decision to make. That’s all on your husband and he has to make an live with that decision"
"My opinion, he should fight as hard as he has to for his child. No matter what the mother is doing. You’re wrong for wanting him to give up so you don’t have to deal with the situation."
"It’s his blood. I would fight for my child till my very last breath no matter what. If it was your child would you just throw in the towel bc its stressful? It’s a human life it isn’t a purse. You should be proud you have a man who fights so hard for his child."
"Yes, you are totally wrong."
"Yes you’re wrong. Would you give up if the child was your bio kid? I wont say any more because how is this even a question."
"Would you fight if it were your child? I sure would till the bitter end!"
"No! Fight for your child regardless. The court is rough but what she’s doing is called alienation and against the law. I went through the courts with my abusive ex and what he was doing was wrong and damaging to my children. Keep and document ALL of the messages, blocking etc to use in court. But NEVER stop fighting for your children. You could be the only light in their life and if you just give up on them it’ll destroy their outlook on love and care towards them for the rest if their life. Please don’t give up. It’s a fucking hard road to take but it’s worth it."
"No matter how hard mom makes it, fight. Don’t give up on that child because they can’t speak for themselves. Your fiancé and his ex will learn to co parent in time (hopefully) or come up with a schedule that’s suitable through court. Idc if he goes to court and asks for a weekend a month if you guys live thousands of miles away. There’s people that live miles away from their children and take them in the summer or holiday breaks, when they’re school aged and younger. It’s manageable."
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