Grow up. Sounds like everyone else can be mature and remain friends which is a good thing. Unless she’s trying to get with your man I don’t see the issue. You can be a mature adult and be cool with people after a breakup. Not every relationship needs to end with everyone bitter and petty
Tell us you’re insecure without saying you’re insecure.
Just because something bothers you doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sounds like you need to do a little work on yourself.
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Yes, you’re over reacting. You can’t expect everyone in his family to cut ties when she has been so close to them for so long. As long as your partner has cut ties, that’s all that matters! My sister inlaw is still close to a couple of my man’s exes and it doesn’t bother me at all. They were long term relationships and became like family. She is super respectful about it as well. I would never expect her to cut ties with her and her kids(not his children), just because her brother isn’t with her anymore! That’s weird!
My best friend and I dated in high school. I still see his family and I’m invited to all family events. He is my best friend though not just an ex. All of my boyfriends since were made aware of our friendship right off the bat and same with all of his girlfriends because no matter what we are always going to be friends. I love him to death but I’d never be with him again. We are both in relationships now and his girlfriend and I are friends. She went to high school with us. This girl is obviously loved by his family for a reason and has been a part of their lives for years. To me its not an issue but I know most other people would probably have an issue with it so call me enlightened. Don’t make a thing out of it. Just get to know her and maybe it won’t bother you so much
Honestly, my exes family took me in as their own when I was 16/17 years old.
I am still so so so close to them. I don’t even think of them as ‘his’ family. They are mine too.
I think its special for our son as well because we did co parenting holidays/birthdays etc. 
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LMAO 
you’re stuck like chuck
Just because he and she broke up, doesn’t mean she has to break up with his family. Stop being so insecure.
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If there is no child involved then there is no reason and I would be annoyed also.
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I adore my exs family. Has nothing to do with him but everything to do with loving all of them for 20 years. They were my family and always will be. I explained that to my now husband in the beginning…they are welcomed always in my home, on the phone, on social media and they came to our wedding and pop in for holidays.
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Stop being a spiteful wee bitch put your big girl pants on build a bridge and get over it
So I don’t think it’s a big deal, to a certain extent.
For example
-if she’s really just a friend of the family now then I don’t see anything wrong there as long as she has boundaries and respect. Basically, she knows her place.
-the past is left in the past
I’m currently engaged and my fiancé has his ex of 12 years on his fb and she will occasionally message him but he doesn’t entertain her. He keeps it short and simple.
I still communicate with my exs family. And we’ve known each other since middle school and were together 9 years and have 2 kids together. I still talk to his mom the most bc she has my kids a lot and I chat with his sister.
You can’t control people. Let it go. My fiancés family still talks to his ex of 5 years. Doesn’t bother me at all because I know I can’t control people.
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Hes got a new gf i like her and she def shouldn’t be threatened by me bc im happy in the relationship I have and ahe treats my kids wonderfully
You shouldn’t be in any type of relationship with your insecure ways. I’m friends on social media (and his wife) with the first guy I was ever engaged to and lived with years ago. Grow up!!!
I’m sure you’re hoping that she would have fell off the face of the Earth when they broke up , but unfortunately she didn’t. I know you view her as a threat and as long as she’s still around your fiance May rebound. Just hopefully she’s not invited to your wedding.
I’m still very close with my exes family. Especially his sister. We also have a kid together. They have no kids together it’s not like you have to accept her, but maybe you can try being friends with her?
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Youre threatened, you said it yourself. Your insecurities are your own. No everyone has a bad relationship with their exs.
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If it bothers you,it should bother the people who love you . If she has done something that made you feel threatened you’re not over reacting.
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It will be hard, but you can’t change history. My mom is a great example of what you’re going through. My mom was hurt terribly, but she still does holidays and family vacation’s with her once good friend who is now my dad’s wife. My mom always put family first.
I still talk to my exes families at THEIR request. You can’t make someone not associate with an ex just because they didn’t work out. If you don’t trust him that’s another problem.
Not really, it’s her husband’s job to make them respect her. It is disrespectful. I get it they can’t just cut the ex off, he broke up with her but they don’t have to. I get that part but it is the husband’s job to establish the present. She is the present. She is the ONLY one still currently putting up with his ass. She is the one living life with that person. She is an ex, meaning that she didn’t want to put up with it. Even if he is a saint She is still an ex for a reason. It is the husband’s job to make his family work more tastefully and respectfully and spark unity. If he isn’t doing it then he isn’t doing his job to protect his wide. His vows are to love and respect her as he loved and respects himself. Whatever some of these families love the division and drama and some of these husband’s ain’t husbanin’ right. So, she has a choice she either tosses it in the back of her mind or makes it a big deal. I don’t see this changing. His family didn’t make vows to her. He did. It would be nice if they weren’t disrespectful dicks but you can’t make anyone do anything. Maybe the husband should have married the ex or stayed with her if they like her so much
Don’t change people I’m sure they were friends when u started dating. U accepted it then why make it a problem now.
Does your boyfriend do anything for you to distrust him? Because I’m the end it’s about you and him and trust
Yall are missing the part where she said she’s had issues with this ex before which is why she feels threatened
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This sounds more like insecurities you have. My fiancé was with a girl who he had known since highschool. Him and I have been together 9 years now. His family is still involved with her. She gets invited to family events/functions. Just because they broke up doesn’t mean she has to break up with the family. There is a bond.
You need to do some self work/healing in my opinion. 
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I was with my ex husband 11 years…we have been divorced 10 years i still get birthday cards that say daughter from them…i still get Christmas gifts from them…They ask me over for anything im therr
I was in a similar situation. But decided to let it go as he had 6 children from his first wife. Let it go. I became friends with his ex and his children. Now im married again. With my own two kids. And hubby has two he brought with him. We made friends with everyone. Let it go or you will have too many problems
If this ex has disrespected ur relationship, then it is a valid problem. I would hope the family and ur fiance would help to address this.
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My husband’s family still sees invites and are friends on social media with his ex baby momma they even like her better then me his mom has pictures of them hanging up in his house I laugh cause they was together maybe 2 years we have been married 16 yrs I don’t let it bother me one bit ex baby momma and I actually get along pretty good 
I would rather talk to her at one of his family gatherings then his family. If I was you maybe make friends with her so it doesn’t bother you as much
Depends if they share kids or not
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His family is allowed to continue their relationships without permission.
When my ex and I got divorced I bowed out of his family’s life simply to allow them to decide. A few months down the road his aunt reached out because his grandmother had been cut off from my children. Her grandson was doing more of his magic control techniques and using our children. The very next day I was at her house with my children to see her. When my ex found out he was livid and said, “When you divorced me, you divorced my family.” Well, too bad they can decide for themselves.
You need to be an adult and understand that the relationship his family has with his ex doesn’t simply end because they broke up. In time it’s possible that relationship will fade as she moves on, but maybe it won’t.
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Probably an unpopular opinion but I wouldn’t like it.
unless they have kids or something I don’t see the point in keeping up with an ex especially if that ex has had issues with your current parter like your situation
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Just because they broke up doesn’t mean the rest of the family has to. Especially if she has been in their lives since she was a kid.
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Idk…my husband has a few exes on his Facebook acct. He doesnt really talk to them. If he doee,he is short with them. I dont care or wouldn’t care much if he did talk to them some. As long as isn’t flirting or saying stuff like he wishes it could uave worked out between them,etc. I dont see an issue.A friend is just a friend. Even if she is still going after him…if he isn’t returning the feeling…let it go and just try to feel secure in your relationship with him. That way you aren’t on a shaky foundation in your relationship where every little thing,like the ex or other stuff,can break y’all up. Trust each other or it wont work.
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I’m still very active in my ex’s family’s lives. We broke up on mutual terms, were friends before and after the break up. If its that big of a problem then I would talk to your partner about it. Since my ex and I broke up, I now have a long term partner and we have a child. I invite them to our important events, they invite me to important events, on the holidays I stop by, and now I’m considered his 1 year old nieces aunt and their family is considered aunts/uncles/grandparents to my child. We all have a family bond since they took guardianship of me when I was 16 and lived with them for 3 years. The girls my exs have been with since me I really don’t interact with him or her, they’ve all had shitty attitudes about an ex still being so close to the family. If you have an issue with her, approach her about them. If that doesn’t work bring your partner in the conversation. If his family still wants her around, there’s nothing you can do, if you pull threats or tell them you don’t want her around, that could end with them just resenting you
I still have a relationship with my exes family, more so over social media since I moved out of state. But I was very close to his mom & sister. I’m married, my husband doesn’t care & as far as I know my exes new partners never had an issue with it because why would they?
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All of my EX’s Mom’s still talk to me. What we had is in the past. I am even friends with my Husbands EX Wife. I don’t do hostility, unless the woman gives me a reason to be hostile. But most of the time I just stand my ground & I have no issues☺
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I am that “ex” in the situation. My ex bf from 2008-2010 and I ended badly but I love and adore 90% of his family. I’m Invited to all birthdays and weddings I have been to every big family event. It’s not a big deal and In all these years I’ve only talked to my ex 1 time. Otherwise we avoid each other at parties.
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Sorry, you have to deal with this! I also have had this happening for 35 years but was not told, Because they believed I was so jealous, They went on picnics that my daughter and I were not invited to, BBq’s we also were not invited to. My feelings have been hurt for years!
You can be mad all you want. But you have 0 control over who someone else talks to. 
sounds like jealousy. If you can’t get over the fact that they are their own people and can have their own friends and conversations with people then leave.
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I was best friends with my ex for five years before we dated then we were together for 6 years I was in his life for over 11 years and in his families life for over 6 years his family loves me and I love them his sister still comes for sleepovers his dad still helps me with things and his family invites me to things with them I also have a good portion of his family on Facebook my ex and I also have two kids together but the point is just because the relationship with the ex fell apart doesn’t mean the family has to hate the ex and cut her out of their life you may not like it and your feelings are valid but there’s nothing you can do about it everyone is allowed to talk to and be friends with whoever they want
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Jealousy is so hard to deal with. Tell him not to tell you about it anymore.
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I’m still in my exes families life but we have a daughter together. He and I don’t really talk so I talk to his side of the family. If she’s been around wince teenager years, they’re close. I wouldn’t be threatened by her unless you have a reason to be (if he’s cheated on you or said he still has feelings, etc for her)
I understand why you’d be upset and uncomfortable because I would too but if she’s known them since they were really young then it’s something you will have to adapt to or I would say to not be together if it’s something you can’t see yourself getting past.
I have the same situation but mines ex has been on a mission to break us up she stopped when she was dating someone cut my fiance family off talk crap on them disrespected them.Then she broke up with her bf and now back to the drama she manipulated her way back into his family while threatening my life talking crap disrespecting me and my kids n is on a mission again to break us up.on top of all this I found out later on that he cheated on me with her multiple times n I felt something wasn’t right in my gut n look it turned out to be true smh.So if ur body’s telling u something is off believe it.its one thing for them to be cordial and civil with her but if you get a vibe somethings going on watch for signs I’m not saying there is something going on but be aware of the signs cause im going thru a severe heartbreak right now from the same situation.she even cried how she was leaving the state to love with her family n the 2 kids he shares with her n his family jumped to her rescue I’m here with k
His child struggling I said well I’m gonna go with my family to another state they told me go.this is the family I’ve been in for 17 years held them down when I had nothing wad loyal to n everything while his ex pretty much crapped on them so be aware n look for son’s your body never lies.
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Same here…she recently reached out to see if her soon to be 18 yr old, she was 4 when they split and have not had any contact since then, could come visit him for a few weeks. He just handed the phone to me and I messaged her back that this was inappropriate behavior. They were children when they were together. And no her daughter was not welcome here with his family. She does not know me or our family and would be hours away from her home. Also quit contacting him. I wrote all this as him through his dm with his approval beforehand. The family part is hard bc you can’t control any of that. His family is respectful and doesn’t mention her when we are around but we moved 13 hrs away so it’s easy. His mom has talked about said ex in front of me but it didn’t really bother me much. But the ex contacting him throughout the years (almost 10 yrs) does bother me a lot. Not bc I am insecure but bc it’s inappropriate and if this chick isn’t put in 
then she is relentless. Sorry, not a lot of advice but definitely can relate!
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Either you trust him or you don’t. That’s your real issue here.
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I am still in communication with my sons ex however I will not answer any questions about my son. We just love her
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She’s been around since they were teenagers & your mad his family still speaks with her. Get over it. You don’t get to tell his family what they can & cannot do. I’m still very close with my ex’s family. I still call his mom mom. As long as your fiancé himself isn’t communicating with her then your way out of line I’m thinking you can tell his family who they can & cannot speak with.
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You’re entitled to your feelings, HOWEVER you can’t dictate who his family communicates with. TBH you are coming off as VERY insecure. It’s not like they have her at family events and parade her in front of your face. They communicate on social media and the phone, how is that your business? 
Now if your fiancé is communicating with her, I could see you having an issue. Otherwise, enjoy your fiancé and try to build your own relationship with his family.
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Unfortunately you can’t stop his family from communicating with her. As long as they are treating you with respect you need to let it go. You didn’t mention if your boyfriend still communicated with her
My brother dated this girl when we were in our early adulthood and they broke up she became my best friend after that for quite awhile. We still talk and my brother is happily married now.
It’s entirely outside of your control how others interact with one another around you. The only thing you can control is how you handle yourself. You’ll have to address the jealousy and or insecurity that past interactions with this ex have spurred in you. If you and your fiancé settled the past, let it go. Don’t stress yourself. Know your worth. He chose YOU! If their history is old, it is likely they grew apart. The person she was back then likely no longer exists. He loves you for who you are NOW. And if she becomes meddlesome, talk with her. Meet her for coffee, get to know her. Maybe that could give you some peace of mind to know that she ain’t got sh*t on you.
Unless he’s hiding anything about his ex like my husband did which is why I’m not ok with him having a relationship with her in any way. I wished he would have talked to me about her and I wished she wouldn’t have tried to hide herself from me as well. Yes she hid herself from me before I onew about her when I went to search her on Facebook she had me blocked. But I’ve been the ex before. I had an ex from high school that I was still friends with his family especially his sister and his now ex had a complete problem with it even though I had my own serious relationship and it ruined any amiable relationship I had with my ex when it didn’t need to. I was even willing to talk to her but she was not willing. I thought we could have been friends, I would have been OK with that but she was against me completely. Now my friendship with the family has deteriorated because of my now ex because he said he didn’t like the family. He ruined a lot of my friendships and I now have no friends because of him and it’s hard making new ones when I’m raising so many children on my own. Anyway, as long as you’re invited and included I personally don’t see any harm.
So if she is actually trying to 'make" him come back to her then yes you have a right to feel upset and hurt by this. But if it’s like a she took my boyfriend in highschool deal then you are overreacting. I still talk to my last ex’s family when I see them in town. But we were friends since kindergarten. But I don’t talk to my ex in person. Just social media.
I’m much closer to the family of my ex than he is himself. We share a son and I had a son previous to our relationship. They treat both as their grandsons, nephews, etc. I’m super grateful for that. They are family and always will be.
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I have known my husband since we were 16, I have always spoken to his mom even when him and I did not speak. I personally never meant anything by it when he was dating someone else but I know a couple of the girls he dated found me to be intimidating. All I can say is ex’s are ex’s for a reason and if it is meant to be, it will be. 
I wouldn’t let another woman intimidate me that doesn’t have him and I also wouldn’t let another woman intimidate me if he was entertaining it, he would be gone. Just stay alert, but remember she is an ex for a reason.
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She been around the family for a long time not just while they were together so unfortunately this is something that will not change, you with him and he choose you, either trust him or leave
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Idk I got kids with my ex and I still talk to some of his family who wanna be apart of my children’s life and I can tell his gf didn’t like it and it affected his relationship with his family and I think that was so childish cause I got whole kids with him and he don’t bring them around his family himself. I think its silly when they don’t got kids together, i wouldn’t keep touch if I didn’t have kids with him but there’s not much you can do. He can’t tell his family what to do unless he wanna loose em and I wouldn’t put him in that position
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You can feel bothered by it but unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t control who his family lets in and talks to. I would just try to keep to yourself and just ignore her unless she starts bothering you.
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Your fiance is with you, so you don’t need to feel threatened by the presence of the ex.
Here’s the thing … the ex was, at one time, a part of the family. Relationships developed, and even though her romantic relationship ended with your fiance, her relationships with the other family members are continuing. You can’t expect his family members to just stop having anything to do with her. They can continue their relationships with her, and develop a relationship with you, as well. If your fiance and his ex have children together, she’s always going to be a part of your lives. If they don’t, then at the very least, she is going to continue to be a family friend. If you put aside the fact that she was his ex, can you be honest enough with yourself to see her for the person she really is? Who knows … maybe you’ll be able to develop a cordial relationship.
Her presence is striking up a bit of jealous defensiveness on your part. If your relationship is strong enough to consider becoming life partners, then you should feel secure enough in your relationship to not be bothered by his ex. She’s obviously not the one for him, or he would have stayed with her.
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Leave him if you can’t trust him . He is allowed to have friends that are girls, so be it if it’s his ex. Unless she’s tried to actually physically harm you or your relationship you need to get over it.
You need to grow up she has been around for awhile
My parents divorced when I was 4. I’m now 41 and my mother is still invited to every family function on my father’s side of the family. All of my aunts and uncle, refer to her as their sister and my grandmother called her a daughter. People end relationships with each other, not necessarily the entire family.
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You don’t have problems with her you have problems with him. If things are causing trouble he’s allowing her to make problems
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No you don’t get to decide who they are friends with. Just bc they broke up doesn’t mean the whole family breaks up, they all have separate relationships with this person. You either trust your partner that they’ve moved on or you don’t. If you don’t then time to move on yourself.
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Shes not just an ex, she’s a family friend. There’s nothing to do but accept. Sorry 
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If his. X is still friends with his family that is a good sign If it bothers you then you should get out of the relationship. Who his family is friends with is none of your business.
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You can’t control who your in laws communicate with. You can talk to your fiancee about how you feel about his communication with her.
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Walk away if it bothers you that much 
plenty more fish in the sea . females today just jump straight into new relationship without thinking deeply,is this what I really want 
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You divorce the person not the family I love My ex’s family
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This is how things will be even if you marry him . If you don’t like it you have the opportunity to leave the relationship now before it’s too late . Trust me.
You will never have the respect that you deserve …
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I am old and I think you are young. So think of this as great grandmotherly advice. He chose you–not her! Get over it.
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I have stayed close to my ex’s family. He and I couldn’t live together, has nothing to do with his family. And my present husband and I have a close relationship with his son’s ex. We love her. They couldn’t be together no one cheated , no one beat anybody up. They just were not happy. We do not however invite her to family events if he and his wife will be attending. With respect for the new wife. I think you might be lacking in self esteem.
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Become friends with her too 
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No it’s not extra… but I wouldn’t tie my life to someone if this bothered me out of the gate. Who wants a man if it costs your peace. Not me anymore
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If you are so insecure and threatened of her why have a fiance? You knew about her before you planned on marriage. She ain’t going anywhere, she is in with his family. If you can’t suck it up and deal with it, then you should leave him.
Walk away & find a person with no baggage "
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Look in my.opinion if she’s been around that long try to be her friend one it will show your in laws to be how mature you are .two many she could be an excellent friend to you .I’m not joking my husband’s ex and I were best friends fir the longest time
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You can not control who they are friends with
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Its not her job to make you feel secure it’s his
And hes not doing his job if you’re feeling that way
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I agree…I am close with my exs family as I’ve known them since I was a teenager
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You’re overthinking it. She’s been a part of their lives for many years and you can’t expect them to cut her out of their lives just because you came into it.
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You have no need to be bothered. If anything it’s nice. It shows the genuine love n care for her as a person. It would give me comfort moving forward. That if I fall inlove with these ppl and it’s reciprocated no matter what i won’t loose them. Possibly you’re feeling insecure due to past experiences that have nothing to do with this one. That’s ok. Just realise it’s probably not the x but you and your stuff. X
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Walk then. If they’ve spent a huge part of each others lives together as friends you’re not gonna change that. You’ll drive yourself nuts and you have no say over his family’s decisions or who his friends are. I’m still good friends with an ex and his family and mine now knows that. He’s friends with them too.
The important question is how does your fiancé interact with her? Is he dismissive of your feelings? What is his stance on the whole situation? Does his family genuinely treat you nice? Is she the one that is always or mostly initiating communication? And lastly but most importantly, is your fiancé worth the fight(for lack of a better word)?
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Try to get rid of her
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If you dont like the baggage then move one. He chose you…
Frequently, a romance not working out doesn’t mean that either party is a terrible person. If the ex has been around that long, it’s understandable that your fiancé’s family still get along with them.
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Family choice. They have known her a long time Be friendly small le
I’m an ex that still be around my ex family and me and his wife are good friends…I knew the family since I was 14 and we still around and still say family. If she is actually with family then join in she may be a good friend to you too
She was there way before you. And baby don’t forget you got that ring on your finger for a reason. Not her. Just make sure you and him are on the same page and if anything bothers you, just tell him and hopefully you guys can figure out a way around it
Unless “had problems out of this ex” means she did some toxic stuff, then you need to make peace with this. You won’t win hearts by seeming petty, controlling, or jealous.
That said, there aren’t really tips. You’re going to feel how you feel and that’s okay; it’s your behavior that matters.
You can try talking honestly about how you feel to family members who are close with her, coming from a place of wanting to see her how they do instead of through the lense of jealousy and whatever pain your fiance had from the relationship…depending on your comfort with them, of course…
You need to take in to account that she has been around a lot longer than you and they may not be romantic anymore but she will always be around, she will come up on conversation a lot and if you want to be ok with it I suggest being friends with her as this will make you partner much less stressed. And when you get to know her a bit you’ll either know she isn’t a threat or if you need to walk away
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