Am I wrong to think my husband should not have yelled at my 6-year-old?

Fan question: how would you handle your husband disrespecting your 6 year old from past relationship?Soo my husband of 3 years cursed out my 6 year old daughter today because she forgot her coloring book inside of a restaurant and she asked him nicely to go back inside and get it for her. I flipped on him but he just didn’t seem to care and ignored me. My daughters dad ended up calling to talk to her and she said to him that my husband yelled at her and cursed out and my ex flipped out on me because of how he treated her. I agreed with my ex and told him I yelled at my husband . Me and husband have a 1 year old together. I told him what would you do if a boy treated your own daughter that way. I said I don’t care if it’s my own daughter or our daughter there is no way it’s gonna just slide when you treat them that way. They are just kids

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Good job sticking up for your daughter and having her back. There is boundaries if they are step parents and over a coloring book too. Hope it gets better for you all! Least you showed him you won’t tolerate it.

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This is a great movie to watch.

I’d flip out on your husband! He should NEVER cuss at your child ! Or yell . I had a similar thing happen when my kids were young by their step dad and I lost it with him . Be assured he never laid a hand on my sons again! Ever !

I would have lost it completely! You are right they are just kids. His words and actions can mentally damage her. Well done mommy for trying to protect your daughter. He have to grow up and treat kids with respect especially if she asked him nicely. You have to give respect to earn respect.

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He would have went and seen the good lord… amen :pray:

If it was something serious I wouldn’t bat an eye but for her for getting her coloring book in a restaurant does not call for being screamed and cursed at wow. Like now I’ve yelled at my kid like when he’s purposely hurt someone or an animal even when he’s about to get hit by a car but doing something like that it’s very uncalled for

Unacceptable. Imagine how he might treat her when you’re not around when he’s treating her the way right in front of your face. I’d leave him. Keep standing up for your daughter. A disrespectful man with a short fuse is probably never going to change.

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Red flag. Please don’t ignore it :pray:

So…you have been with him for 3 years…is this the first incident? Did he curse her out or curse at her…neither is good…but there is a difference. You said you told him what would he do if… and then continued on with what you would do…did you give him a chance to answer? Did you ask him WHY he lost his temper? She asked nicely for him to go back…did he tell her no nicely at first and she threw a fit? How much influence does your ex husband have over your whole household? Do you allow your current husband to parent or does he have to put up with a ton of disrespect because another man is a main influence in his house? I am not trying to minimize or be mean…but a lot of times in step type relationships…the step father is expected to put up with an enormous amount of disrespect under the threat of the bio dad. And step dad isn’t allowed to tell kid anything…including cleaning up their spaces or anything else. In that case…it is the mothers fault.

Definitely should not have cursed at her. He should have taken the moment to explain that its her responsibility to keep up with her things.

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To say something because you are annoyed is one thing. But you don’t talk down to or swear at the children. I’m a firm believer in if you’re with someone that has kids you treat them as you would your own. Has he always treated her differently or just since the new baby arrived?

Not acceptable! He needs to be a great example in talking it out “sweetie I’ll go get it this time but next time if you leave it it’s going to stay” As adults we’ve been in our cars and forget something and go back to our house etc to get it.

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Stepparent or not, no adult should be yelling at a 6 year old for doing 6 year old things. He needs parenting classes

I’ll give you my experience. My son was 5 when I first married (not their biological parent). By the time he was 6 he was walking on eggshells. It didn’t matter how many times I had to argue with my partner, they would promise the world & still verbally/mentally/emotionally abuse my son. By the time he was 7 I filed for divorce & by 8 my son was suicidal feeling like everyone felt the same way my ex did about him. He’s 12 now & has come a long ways. He has always been great at expressing his perspective & feelings, more so than the average adult, so it was fairly “easy” to get him the help he needed. Still extremely frustrating he had to experience all that. He’s way more reserved than the typical 12 yr old but once he feels “safe” he’s the same silly sweet boy he was before.

If your husband is willing to put in the work to be a better man for himself & his family then I say be ready to support your baby & reassure her that he’s trying. It takes discipline, genuine intention, recognizing unhealthy patterns, compassion, & understanding- from him.

Good luck to you & your family​:people_hugging::gift_heart:

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The fact that he raged at such an average day to day parenting interaction is certainly concerning but the fact that he ignored you when you confronted him about that interaction says everything ,you have some serious choices to make about what you want your childrens psychological future to look like

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You always do the right thing and defend your daughter. Never leave her alone with him. I would not trust him.

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That would be enough to pack his sh!t

Lord if he cursed at a 6 yr old over that I’d hate 2 c what he do if it something big! I’d skip the id the bud tbh I’d leave. He’s not only disrespectful towards ur ex husband as a father nd u as a mother but also towards a legit child.

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So… I think it’s safe to say that any man who curses out a six year old is also not going to hesitate to curse out another adult. Like yourself. I worry you are in an emotionally abusive relationship maybe without even realizing. It’s never ok to talk to anyone like that. But especially not a child. I’m glad you agreed with your ex husband and didn’t stand up for your current husband when he didn’t deserve it. Definitely have a serious, calm talk with your husband and be clear on your boundaries, not just for how he treats your child but for how he treats you.

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Giant red flag! He owes your daughter a apology. If hes not willing to be empathetic you need to think if you really want to raise kids in that type of environment.

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That man would not be talking to my kid that way, point blank

Let this be a sign to not leave him alone with the kids. If he gets this enraged over a forgotten coloring book I can only imagine if the kids actually misbehaved.

Sounds like he has a mental problem
He could have just went back in got the coloring book and he would have been a “hero” in rewritten girls eye. As it is she probably thinks he is a monster.

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He need to apologize to the kid.

You need to protect your daughter and leave him now before you damage her it’s your job as her mother to save her

My hubby does the same. It was worse before I called him on it everytime. I’m trying to get him to realize that yelling and cussing at the kids isn’t going to get anywhere with them. They shut down and stop listening. I ask him if he likes being talked to like that. He said “well no, no one talks to me like that.” I say than why the fu** you doing it to them. Keep voicing that it’s unacceptable behavior.

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He was wrong even if it was a adult. She’s a child. If he didn’t wont to do it he should have told you to do it. Cussed. No. What is going on with him to think that’s ok?

If he cursed out about something that insignificant I can’t imagine how he treats her when you are not around.
I will not trusting him with my daughter, and because trust is essential in a relationship, I will have to take a deep look into it again

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If anything spoke to my kid like that they’d be out of our life’s! Do not allow a grown ass man to verbally abuse your daughter :flushed:

Time for him to kick rocks.
It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.
Sounds like he’s either stepping out on ya or in the process of wooing someone else.
So do what you have to do to protect your kids.
Couldn’t have been me and mine.
You continue to hang onto this butt wipe and this behavior escalates, that’ll be all on you.
Love is blind but it’s not stupid.
Protect your kids. :face_with_spiral_eyes::fist_left:
#ProperResponseIs
#Time2BossUp
#HandleYoSHIT

You’re failing your child if you stay with this man. He did it once, he WILL do it again. And next time? He may just try and get physical. He’s being a POS to your daughter and every minute you stay with him you’re being a POS parent. He verbally abused her. A 6 year old. Over a coloring book. Come the fuck on and put your kids first.

I would have been the one going back for the coloring book. He would have been too busy searching for all the :tooth: fragments on the ground around him to deal with anything else at that moment. :woman_shrugging:t4:

I would seriously THINK about how HE treats her when you’re not around. The fact HE was comfortable talking to a CHILD in that manner is really concerning.

He was wrong. Don’t stay with someone who disrespects your child.

NO you are NOT WRONG. Protect your kid!

My concern is will his behavior turn into something more then just yelling? From what i read he didn’t have a right to tell she POLITELY asked for her coloring book if anything he should of praised her forcusing her manners. And being a younge lady, everyone has off days but don’t take it out in on a younge curious child who’s so amazed with the world that they sometimes forget things for sometimes forget things, and what worries me is if he’d did any emotional damage to the point she don’t ask him anything because she’s scared he will yell at her. This one is a question for you does he do this offen? And are you able to live like that if so? Either way good job for being your daughters mouth peice when she could not at least she knows she has her mommy