Any tips or advice to help encourage him to take better care?

Parenting
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My son, who is 6, is probably the most chaotic, messiest person I know. And that's hard because I'm very chaotic and messy!

I fully understand he is only 6 and I do help as best as I can, but when it comes to his things and his bedroom… how do I get him to be more thoughtful in regards to taking care of his toys, taking pride in a “tidy bedroom” - it doesn’t have to be spotless… just not the explosion that it currently is!

I spent at least 2 hours the other day putting all his things back in “their places” and I went in this morning and honestly you wouldn’t have thought it was spotless the other day!

Clothes thrown everywhere (even had a sock in his light shade on the ceiling!) toy boxes were empty cos everything was on the floor.
Books, pens, paper… literally you couldn’t see the floor and you could hardly open the door to get in!

I’ve tried and tried explaining to him that I don’t mind him getting things out, but he has to take better care of his things and I’ve even helped him do it. But it gets to the point where he just sits there and watches me.

I’ve even tried bagging it all up and hiding it in the garage and telling him I was binning it unless he started helping more (he promised he would and did for a while but slowly slipped back into this chaos)

I get he’s only little, but he’s old enough to know that if he gets something out, he’s capable of putting it back properly.

I’ve just been in his room after he claimed he’s tidied it, and found he’d literally shoved everything anywhere he could. Including clothes -clean and dirty, into his toy boxes etc! Even though he has a dirt clothes basket which he picked out cos he said it would help him!

I’m not asking or expecting it to be a deep clean, dusted, hoovered and immaculate… just for him to put his stuff away nicely and to understand that if he keeps breaking his toys from leaving them lying everywhere and getting stood on… that I cannot and will not replace them… it’s getting to the point that he doesn’t even have that many toys that aren’t broken! And it’s just been Christmas!!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Any tips or advice to help encourage him to take better care?

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Make him do it and he loses other privileges until it is done correctly

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You have to be stern and if he doesn’t clean his room and put things away then you take things away and he has to earn them back

My son is 13 and he knows if he doesn’t clean his room when I say too then he loses the PS4

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When my niece was 4, she tried this. We took EVERYTHING but her bed, blanket, and pillow. She had nothing to make a mess with. She learned pretty quickly that if she wanted all of her cool things she would take care of them or we would give them to someone who would. She’s still messy but not careless

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Give him less. No need for a bunch of toys.

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He’s 6? Teach him and guide him without getting upset. Your relationship with him is far more important then a messy room. Lead by example. If he breaks expensive toys don’t buy expensive toys if your worried about that. Try making picking up fun and game. He’s still only 6 he probably does not all the skills yet to get everything clean on his own.

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I had the same problem with both of my kids… i dont know if you watch supernanny but she is my personal savior… YouTube the Uva family and watch her technique with thise children… i swear by it… it emphasizes the teaching of valuing ones things and doing it calmly and in a supportive way

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I didn’t even read the whole post. Just the first few lines. I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. My 8 year old daughter is the most chaotic, messy, disgusting child ever! I’m the opposite. I can’t stand a mess or clutter. I used to clean her room every other day, after arguing with her to clean it. Then I moved on to siting in her room and giving her directions on what to do, without me touching anything. One day she cleaned her room and did a “mom job” on it, so now that I know she’s capable of it, I’ve set that standard for her. Now, she has a schedule. She comes home from school, does her chores and has free time until 7pm. At 7pm, she gets her medicine, takes a shower, and has to do a “mom job” on her room. If she’s done by 8, she gets her TV until 9pm. If her room isn’t done by 8pm, she goes to bed at 8pm with no TV. Then when she comes home the next day, her room is clean, but anything that I had to clean, gets bagged up and put in the basement for a week. That could be her favorite Barbie, one shoe, her favorite outfit… after doing that for about 2 weeks, she caught on. Now, I call her at 7, she takes medicine, gets her shower and starts to clean up. She will keep a few toys out that she’s currently playing with, and I usually remind her at 7:45 that she has 15 minutes.

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Guide. Dont just say do this and walk away. Help set the example.

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I have 6 kids so I’ve been thro this a lot. I tell them to get one toy out and put it back before they get another toy. If I walk in there in their room is a disaster then I give them all one hour to clean it up after that hour is over I give them a garbage bag and they throw what’s left away. I have only had to do it two times but dear god it works they beg for their stuff back but all I say is you didn’t care for it enough to clean it up and take care of it so throw it away. It sounds harsh but it works and they hardly make a mess anymore because they know it will just be thrown away. So try that.

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Maybe his stuff is not stored in a way he understands or uses. Maybe open bins or shelves, just big buckets. Try different things and see what works.

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Have fewer clothes and toys for him to scatter around. Be more of a minimalist.Put half away then rotate them periodically except for a few favorites he wears/plays with all the time.

Are your standards too high? Just have a bin for all non-electric toys, shelf space or containers for socks, underpants, tops and pants. Keep it simple and label everything to make it easy.

You’ll have to spend more time with him. Clean up WITH him. Hand him things and tell him where they go and watch him put them there. More supervision when he’s playing so you remind him when he’s done with one thing (socks, games, etc.) to put it away before getting something else out.

Maybe set timers/alarms every 15 minutes where he has to stop and put everything away he’s not using at the moment. Hopefully this will become a good habit after about a month or two so you will no longer need the timers.

Does he have ADHD? This makes it hard to be organized. See if you can get him evaluated and see what strategies work. My spaces are always a mess still. It helps me to have someone else around me. Their energy helps me focus on what I need to do to clean up. Look into ADHD resources for ideas. Even if he doesn’t have ADHD, the ideas from Web sites, books, doctors, parents may help.

Also, having ADHD myself, I need to break things down into small, discrete tasks. For example, saying “Clean up the room” would be too overwhelming. “Put all your cars away” then “Put all your dirty socks in the laundry basket” then “Put all your clean shirts on hangers in the closet” then, put all the LEGOs in their box and put he lid on tightly” works better. Maybe make a list of all the steps needed to pick up his room, as above. At certain times have him go through the list and do it.

Periodically go through his stuff and give away what he no longer wants, has outgrown or needs to be put away for a while, and toss things that are broken, torn or missing pieces. Too many things are actually a burden.

Keeping him on a schedule will help too. Maybe designate certain times each day for clean up: before school, halfway between the end of school and dinner, before dinner and before his bedtime routine. Make a chart with little clock faces showing the times he needs to stop and pick up, and have an analog clock in his room. Even if he can’t tell time, he can match the clock faces to the one on the wall.

Play lively, fun music and use the time to do your chores as well. Play as many songs as needed until his space is picked up correctly.

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Lead by example. You admitted you are also chaotic and messy. What do you expect from a six year old that’s modeling the behavior of his mother? :woman_shrugging:

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Start throwing things out… he will realize he’s not going to have any toys to play with…

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Minimize. That way it isnt overwhelming. Rotate toys. Only have so many available min clutter. Everything has a spot and label it. .

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Sit down and have a talk to him about what you expect…

What he doesn’t pick up and put away take away from him…

Make him earn his toys back by keeping his room clean and tidy…

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Monkey see … monkey do :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Practice what you preach. Set an example

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What you need to do is go in there organize all his toys have bins for everything if dont have some get some if you can! After that have him pick out two of his favorite ( help him because you notice what keeps him busy) and thats what stays in his room take everything else and put it away ( in your room in your closet, basement, attic, somewhere ) now he has two things ( whether it be a Lego set and a nerf gun it dont matter) that hes responsible for picking up and keeping clean and after you feel hes gotten the hang of it you can add another bin/ toy ( its very important the toys are as organized as you can get them and have a place and their own bin little pieces in their own baggies you see what i mean?) you can of course customize as you see fit start with more toys or just one but i promise it makes a huge difference! Best of luck! :black_heart:

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Stop!!! Ur stressing the both of u by putting some much pressure on keeping thing picked up!! He will learn he will get there but if u force it and continue to be so hard on him for something so small when it co.es to big things he will have already written u off so what u say wont matter…my 11 yr old doesn’t do what ur asking a 6 yr old to do but my 14 yr old does the bigger ones started around then as well…be patient a tidy room really isnt the most important thing in the world. If my 5 yr old breaks things or takes something apart he throws it away or he fixes it with my help he still thinks it’s my job to pick up his toys hes just starting to understand that’s it’s not there his toys

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Welcome to motherhood! I don’t think many Six year olds care very much about neatness. Just don’t replace the broken toys for awhile. I think (my opinion only) that you are grasping at rainbows and need to try to relax.

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It also helped me to realize that we had different definitions of clean.

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I am not sure how you have his room set up, but the best thing I did for my boys was I had large open bins that lined the wall, a bookshelf, and a desk. If there are too many toys it gets to be overwhelming. I would keep a large tub of toys that I would routinely rotate out, but they didn’t need to all be in the bedroom at the same time. Next, when he’s playing with something, remind him that it goes back so that he can get the next thing out. I would always ask my boys, “Hey mommy forgot where this belongs, can you show me?” and my kids would happily teach mommy where the toys went and then I would gush at how awesome that was he knew where the toys went and then I’d grab a shirt and pretend to forget where it goes and they’d show me. Once I knew they knew where everything was, then I’d turn clean up time into a game. “I’ll race you” “I have a little treat if you can clean up all your toys” “Beat the timer” etc. It will come with repetition, you just have to find what works for you and your son and then stick to it. You have to stick to what you say you are going to do continuously to help build that habit. If he knows you are going to give up after a little while, they will too. Kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. You got this.

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I throw things out and keep house tidy. If they see you a mess they wont do anything to change if you dont.

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Start taking things away that are left out and keep that going. It may take a while but eventually when he has nothing to play with he will start putting things away

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I am not sure about all the rest but sounds to me like he has way to many toys so he doesn’t appreciate any of them. I would box up about 75% of his toys and stick them somewhere. I think then it would not be so overwhelming to him to pick up his toys. Good luck hun

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Sometimes kids have too much to play with, too much to choose from so it can be a sensory overload kind of thing. Also kids throw things on the floor as part of learning. What will this sound like/look like when it hits the floor, wall ECT.

Honestly start taking things away. If he wants what he has he needs to take care of it plane and simple.

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I usually throw anything away that’s been on the floor too long :blush::ok_hand:t3: problem solved

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In my house when my kids were young cleanup was always part of our end of day routine meaning before we started bedtime stuff bath pjs etc. We clean up our messes from the evening i started by picking up an straightening the living room etc then would tell my kids its time to clean up/put away their toys etc and we would begin yes WE they were young and still needed guidance in this area so we would sing the clean up song and they would pick up their stuff and i would help by pointing at something in the corner and or help them remember where the toy/item went. The routine adjusted as they grew and when we got to the preteen/teen years things were rougher (cuz its their rooms their stuff etc etc uh geez ma ill do it later attitudes lol) but they always got it done I feel like that’s because my children knew not to call my bluff because I never bluffed lbvs u cant with kids if u say blah blah blah is the consequence for not doing blah blah blah as a parent you have to follow through because if you don’t your kids will eventually pick up on that as they get older and realize that they don’t have to do it because you weren’t serious about the consequences you threaten them with

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At our house we have started a de-clutter process and that includes purging, lots of purging. We did this first in my 9 year olds room early Dec bc he was the worst and messiest. He help with the purging of stuff and now it is mid Jan and his room is still clean. I think too much crap leads to a messy and cluttered house. I know even in my room when I have too much stuff I get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, it is even harder for kids. I swear this process has worked, he now takes pride in his room and spends tons of time in there now and loves it. I am now every weekend picking a room and purging and de-cluttering and it makes it so much easier to organize and keep organized

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Set a time for him to put all the toys away or make it part of his evening routine. Say 10 minutes before bed he has to put everything back in the tubs before he goes and brushes his teeth etc. I would help him to start with. Make it something you do together and fun so it’s positive and not seen as a chore as such. Show him how he “should” put everything back and where it looks nice and tidy, how to organise books in size order. Then as he gets more confident you could slowly do less and less until he’s doing it himself and showing you the good job he’s done :heart: my eldest always turned his room and the living room into chaos! We’d put everything away each night and it would all be out again the next day but we stuck to tidying it all away. I think you have to try and explain to him he can’t pull everything out every day. Maybe try and find a way he can just get a few things out and leave everything else he’s not playing with put away so you’re not doing so much every night… I think round the age of 5 or 6 is a good time to encourage them to care for their own space and take time each day to sort it out. As long as it seems fun you should be all good :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::ok_hand:t2:

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I have grandkids 6 and 7 almost 8 they are the same way. Parents started grounding them from TV friends playing with anything all they can do is sit in room and read come out for meals bathroom.they hate it so now they have started doing better. They get punched for 5days

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You said you are chaotic and messy, yet you expect your 6 year old to be better. Maybe start with yourself first

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he is old enough to at least keep his room a little neat, he can pick his clothes up & either put them on a chair or hamper. But if you continue to do this for him, why should he???

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Leave it. Just make sure you can close the door. Tell him dishes and dirty clothes need to be brought out by him and other than that, it is his mess.

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So probably an unpopular opinion here… a 6 year old is not capable of managing a room full of junk (junk is not being negative here, just material things, even expensive nice things, are overwhelming to kids and adults). He doesnt need his room filled with books and toys and paper and pens and this and that and the other… I’m an adult with my own children, and the more stuff I have the more overwhelming it is to manage and keep it tidy. So I downsize as much as I can to get to a manageable number of things. Maybe that would help him. Instead of 40 toys, have 5 or 10. He will be fine, no kid needs 500 toys (helps with imagination when there are limited toys because overstimulation discourages imagination). And I am 100% NOT picking on you or anything of the sort… parenting is hard enough, we dont need to put each other down and make it harder. I just see how today’s parents overwhelm their children out of love and wanting them to have everything they want, and it ends up overwhelming the kids, frustrating the parents and everything gets better when there are fewer, more valued physical things. (Not more valuable, just more valued… when you’ve got 10 cars, you dont really care about them or value then, but when you’ve got 2, those are the 2 coolest cars in the world). Just my thoughts on it, and that works great for my son so maybe something to try for your son? Maybe sit down with him and ask him what is his favorite of everything (favorite cars, favorite stuffed animals, etc… and tell him what the plan is in a super positive way. About how you’re going to help him get his room to be a big boy room and his favorite things will have their very own spots and all of that. Even if he doesnt go for jt or throws a fit, I can promise you that it will help even if it just keeps you from being so frustrated and overwhelmed. Because if you’re in a better place mentally, itll trickle down to him and his wellbeing. Just be sure to make it very well known that it is absolutely NOT a punishment, just a new thing you’re going to try and maybe do the same thing with your room and ask him to help you with that. Good luck mama!

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When it’s time to clean his room and he doesn’t want to then take a trash bag and throw it away, when he wants to break his toys throw them away and when he asks for more tell him no cuz he keeps breaking them and money doesn’t grow on trees. Y’all better quit tryna be these kids friend and be their parent, they’ll make friends in school. Don’t hide it, throw it away in front of him. My daughter just turned 5 in December and she cleans her own room, like cleans cleans it, not just picking it up. She will go through her toys and take the broken ones out, she will will put her clothes on hangers, she keeps her shoes together in the right shoe drawer, throws trash away and sweeps her floor. She knows I’m not about to play with her and that room, I clean the whole house I ain’t about to clean her room too. Her 3 yr old brother also cleans his own room or those nerf guns and cars he loves so much will be in the trash.

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Hes 6…Also if your a messy person and he sees that hes not going to ever.

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Some things we’ve found that helped our kids:

  1. Make him earn privileges. If he wants to watch tv his room needs to be tidy ect. You don’t have to be mean…you can say “oh we can watch that but we need to do this first”
  2. Walk him through it. Big messes look really overwhelming to little kids. So talking him through picking up can help a ton.
  3. More small bins? All the hotwheels go in one bin. So kids aren’t dumping all the toys to get to the hotwheels.
  4. Declutter and Rotate.
    If he’s outgrown toys then donate them. Seriously. Don’t hang on to toys that are years too young.
    Then pick some that he doesn’t play with often to keep out in the garage. Then when he gets bored with what’s inside swap them out.
  5. If you can set a designated play space separate from his bedroom. My kids are way less likely to completely trash their rooms when toys aren’t in there. They’re also way less likely to tear all the toys out when they’re in a main room verses a bedroom
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Throw out the broken toys and limit the toys he has access to to one bin. Rotate bins out if he learns to put them away then let him have more toys slowly. Another thing you can do is get those shelves with smaller bins to organise the toys by type such as cars in one, legos in another. Put your foot down if you tell him to clean up and he does not gather the toys he leaves out toss the broken and donate the rest to a thrift store. Most of all stop buying so much. Put the money you want tobspend on toys into a savings account use it to help get his first car.

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You keep instilling into him to care for his things. ODS was just like that, we would get a snow shovel to make a safe path sometimes…. He’s 14yo now and his room is the most tidy room I’ve ever seen. It was just about maturing for him. Also we helped him by going through and throwing out broken things, packing away/donating things too small for him to wear/play with, and implementing a working storage system. We’ve done that with YDS but he’s 8yo and still let’s him room get awful. As long as it’s not unsafe we let it go. He does on His own make it spotless.

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Easy. Take away privileges. And also try insentives 4good behavior. Another thing u could try. Take him 2 orphanages, or people whose less fortunate and don’t have the privileges he has. Take toys away. Give him a few aday or change toys regularly. Bcos he has so much n is spoilt with choice he get bored n just leave everything around. As 4 his clothes being mixed then I m sorry 2say it’s ur fault. He must take his dirty clothes n place in the basket away from his clean clothes. Generally if he goes 2bath/shower dirty clothes goes in the laundry basket which most people do keep in the bathroom.

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We have baskets and bins for toys. Cars are in one, trains, blocks ect. Starting a a young age they were only allowed to take one bin out at a time unless they could be played together and had to clean up before then next bin was taken out. We also clean up rooms before bed each night.

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You can trick him. The best trick I believe is sleeping habits. Make him think he can’t fall asleep without his room being clean at home. Every night, make pick up time a part of his bed time routine.

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I honestly had this issue with my 2 toddlers.
2 and 3.5

I mean they wouldnt even play with stuff. Just whip it everywhere. Smh

So i bagged up about 70% of their toys and put them away
Every so often ill put a few things away and bring a few out.
Minimal mess for me, and they play with it more now

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It sounds like you need to go in there and declutter his room, get rid of old toys and minimize his wardrobe. I have this problem too, i have fond memories of taking my kids shopping and don’t want to get rid of stuff but i had 2 laundry baskets of old clothes that they just didn’t need and was ordering stuff they did need and it ended up that my 5 year old almost broke one of her drawers putting clothes away and them not fitting. It’s hard but it just has to be done.

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So he’s 6 and you admit to being messy too, half is him being a child and half is probably learning from you. Have a basket in his room for dirty clothes, stop getting him so many toys. Make him pick up every night before bed. And supervise. Don’t just tell him to clean and then walk away.

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Marie Kondo Tidying Up, Decorating And More is a great group. Less is more.

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Be a better example by not being messy n he will watch and follow suit

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My daughter is 6 and I deal with this as well, one thing that I’ve always done since she was about one and a half is teaching her how to clean up her own toys, I didn’t make her do it when she was a toddler as much because she of course was a toddler but I still taught her about it and showed her where to put her things and ask her to clean up her things when she was done playing, now that she is 6 years old I do not touch anything that is hers it’s very rare when I pick up anything of hers, I do my best to hold her accountable and ask her to pick up her things when she’s done playing with them. So for example if she’s playing with Play-Doh and she leaves the Play-Doh and decides to go play with Legos I will always ask her to go back to the Play-Doh and clean it up before she continues playing with her Legos. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember and she still will leave the other thing that she’s playing with out and go play with something else. I’m doing my very best to be understanding and understand that she can be forgetful and lose focus and go and focus on something else and so I just keep my patience and continue this pattern. If she’s about to come to the table to eat or leaving the house or going to bed I always ask her to pick up her things before we do those things. So I realize the other day when I went to go vacuum her room that she hasn’t been cleaning her room properly she’s been throwing her toys and various places in the room and not putting them in their “home.” So the other day when I was about to vacuum her room I had her come into the room and together we figured out where their home is and I have her put them in their "home."so for example she had dishes and three different spots and they were not in the dish basket where they were supposed to be. So each time I found a dish I had her go put it in the dish basket. In her closet she had been throwing stuffed animals blocks dishes baby doll accessories just willy-nilly in the closet. So I had her take everything out of the closet and put it on the floor and reorganize where everything goes. Instead of telling her where everything goes I asked her if she knew where everything goes. I feel like it’s easier for her to remember where things go when I asked her if she knows rather than telling her where things go. When I do this I feel like she’s taking more ownership of her things and where they go and how to clean her room. She complained a lot of the time saying that cleaning is boring and she thinks that it’s okay for her room to be dirty and for her things not to be organized. She also kept saying things like oh my gosh I was looking for this apple, oh my gosh I was looking for this dish, oh my gosh I was looking for this baby accessory. So I told her, "See, when we put things where they go in their “home” they’re a lot easier to find them. So once we were done cleaning and organizing everything she told me that she actually felt better with her room clean and tidy and she loved her new clean room and she was excited to play in there and she said she would try her best to keep everything organized and put things back where they go.

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You’re messy and chaotic, he’s learning from you and why does your kid need all that in his room, kids rooms are supposed to have nothing stimulating or distracting. It’s where they sleep…make a toy room

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So I had to learn that kids legitimately learn EVERYTHING they learn from the adults in their lives. It was kind of a hard pill to swallow at first bc you think you are telling them and teaching them things but the truth is they learn from our actions. If you can’t practice the same habits you’re asking him to then he’s very likely not going to pick up on them either. The best way I’ve found with my kids is to lead by example. And my oldest is a very challenging kid at times due to her being raised during our active addiction years and those were some of her most formative years😬 We struggle HARD with anything she needs to apply herself to, any kind of responsibilities, personal care, accountability, basically all the parts of parenting that are important for us to teach them in order to function in the real world yk. So I put some reward systems in place for her who is 13 and also our 5yo. Youngest is doing fantastic and picking up on so much, of course their are some days and rough patches but you’ll have that with kids Period, as a whole she’s learning at a very good pace though! My oldest avoids it at all costs. Not just at home but at school and any other instance where it’s anything like “work” to her. I can’t force her to feel these things are important the way we know that they are. So instead I have just been working on making sure I’m doing the same things I express to her are important. She sees us wake up and make our bed and pick up anything out of place before we start our day so it’s not crazy for us to ask that of them bc we also do it. She has watched our entire journey of recovery and healing and literally witnessed our Spiritual and self care rituals start, expand and grow. So when I ask her to put her own first above most other things it’s not an unfair request bc we do the same. My youngest does meditation and yoga with us, she practices breathing exercises. My oldest is capable she just doesn’t want to yet but I can’t do much about that beyond continuing my own and modeling healthy behaviors for her🤷

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First off young one stop doing it for him. Second is your room tidy? A parent models the behavior expected. Third - after removing all his things - slowly - one at a time- his things back - this is going to be harder on you - but you have to follow through to what you say and do. If he doesn’t learn now - that what Momma says she’s goin to do - she will do. Change your behavior so he can see you to.

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Went through this with our grandkids. It was a long haul, but after a year of sticking to the plan they are cleaning up very well. I started with us cleaning together singing the “clean up song.” They were allowed one toy at a time. If they didn’t clean the toys went in a tote for a week. If we had to add another toy they stayed for another week. It required a lot more monitoring, but a year in we have a 4 year old and 6 year old that take pride in showing me the clean room they did all by themselves! Rewards and huge praise helps. Good luck

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You need two grow up get a back bone. And lay down the low. TAKE CHAIR OF IT. OR LOSE IT.

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You need to grow up your self…stand there with him until he put everything back…wake up mother…

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Momma take a deep breath and pick and choose your battles

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My son is 6 and he cleans up his own toys, puts his dirty dishes in the sink, feeds and waters his cats and puts his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. A 6 yr old is very capable of doing lots of stuff their self. Stop enabling him and make him accountable for his actions…

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This is tinia and all her kids!!

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Too much to read…. But lead by example!

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My daughter is 3 1/2 and before we can do anything I tell her she needs to put her toys away. She takes a while but she dose it. And I have told her before if she can’t take care of her toys I will take them away. She dose understand that and listens if I say that. But really fallow through. Keep taking the toys for longer and longer then if he goes right back to old habits take the toys away. I tell my daughter all the time if you break that toy if she is being hard on it she won’t get a new one. You just really have to work with them be persistent. Don’t give up. My daughter gets undressed I make her put her own clothes in the clothes hamper so she knows where they go and she knows to put her dishes in the sink. You just got to keep working with them punish when necessary stick to your guns if he won’t help you put toys away keep taking them and explain why. Remember your the parent your in charge. Not your son. Don’t give him the power to fight you. Good your not replacing the toys. Maybe if there to broken throw them in the trash too. Less clutter in the room and it will show him they will go in the trash and not be replaced because he decided to be hard on his toys. You got this Mama just don’t give up! Also take privileges away like you won’t get dessert if you don’t clean your room. No Tv tomorrow at all if you don’t clean your room. Or no you can’t go do this or that till your room is clean. If you do that and be serious and do what you say he will learn Mom is not kidding I cant do anything fun till I clean my room. Like no riding your bike till your room is clean. That goes for like birthday parties too or if he wants to go do something extraordinarily fun say no not till your room is clean we are not going to do anything until that room is under control.

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Fewer items labels with pictures. Timer warning . In x minutes the timers will go off and things need to be put away. Do with him but not for him
Do the same for you

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My son the same he gets changed he literally empty his whole wardrobe to put item on lol ask him to clean his room yesterday an he literally pushed everything under his bed an I love a clean n tidy house so everything is in its place all in other rooms yet he still like that I thinks it just they couldn’t be bothered lazy really cause I’m total opposite clean nothing out of place

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My first comment is good luck lol. The second comment is to go thru his stuff and only keep a little of it (maybe pack some away and rotate every few months).

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A 6 yr old leans by shoving things under the bed hesto younge to know how to organize what is he doing with broken toys get rid of them he should have 3 or 4 toys if he’s that messy and change them every so often You make things hard on yourself and hard on him

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Maybe one thing at a time. Teach him to put his dirty clothes in hamper every day when he takes them off… same w toys clean up several times a day. Also remind him. He’s 6 cleaning is not high on his priority list. Lol

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Children have to much. It’s like herding cats. When my boys were young we had a box of toys per week. All the others were out away. So, they only had one box to play with, one box to put away, and one week to enjoy them. Next week, new box, new toys.vwhen I look back on it, that was crazy, but it worked.v

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My 3 and 5 year old have a chart where if they keep there room tidy, put there toys away and put there plates in the sink they get money at the end of the week maybe something similar for him but in a less childish way like a own bank account?x

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Well my mom would tell us if a fire started rn we would be trapped in our room lmaooo prolly not the advice you’re looking for tho well I don’t have a 6 year but my 2 year old cleans up after herself throws away her trash and puts up her dirty dishes in the sink mainly encouraging and make it a game idk if this will work for a 6 year old tho but might be worth a try best of luck mama :sparkling_heart:

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A daily cleaning time is needed. First, just the basics: clothes where they should be. Toys in boxes. But it must be done daily !!!

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Let it out! Its ok. I do not keep my house super clean but have a standard. My 4 yr old makes a mess all the time playing. Most the time I pick it up but sometimes I will let it go a day or two if I’m not working just so she can play. Not gonna pick the same thing up everyday. But also, when things get i have her help me clean. She will do the whole “im tired” thing and what not. I just keep telling her she needs to clean it because it’s a mess. Maybe start off small and get him to help you clean other things in the house too.

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Well If your saying YOU are chaotic and messy…how do you expect him to be clean and tidy? Children learn more from watching their parents habits,not by being told what to do… so lead by example. :slight_smile:

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He is 6,6 year olds are chaotic. Are really judging a child on their tidyness? Let a child be a child. Yes, they need to understand how to tidy up after themselves but with you as a parent guiding. If you don’t show them,how would they know?

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Definitely try to lead by example more. Also, when a child’s room is chaotic, it’s hard to focus on what to do. Where to start. I have this issue with my 6yo. It helps if I help her clean…not do it all, just help by telling her where to go with things. Sometimes, just looking at her room is enough to give her anxiety. Kids’ minds can’t process chaos. Sometimes, I will give the option to pick one task. It could be just gathering her clothes, or picking up just one section of her room and start there. Each day we pick a new section or new task. Just 20 or 30 minutes. This teaches them a little bit of discipline and allows them to have chores that are more appropriate for their age and attention spans. I hope this help you. Good luck momma. :+1:

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When it gets that out of hand pick everything up off the floor put it in totes.dont organize at all unless there is actual garbage on the floor like candy wrappers or if he needs his winter coat or soccer cleets.once thats done only let him have one a day back.that one must be gone threw discarding any unwanted treasures and then putting everything else where it should go…most the time when this happened at our house there realy were alot of things they didnt want that didnt fit that was uncomfortable to wear etc.just because you cleaned everything and put it back doesnt mean he loves the things he has enouph to take care of them.make sure he helps with the process.downsizing us nessasary to combat clutter.less really is more for a clean space.

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Take all his things away until he starts helping. I did that to my 4 and 6 year old and they clean like champs now.

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Bin the lot problem solved he can’t look after it then bin it