Is it just my four year old that in these awful no cooperation or listening, mad one minute crying the next tantrums and its 10:30 at night and usually in bed sleep by 8:30 the latest …send help
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After the kids go to sleep watch the tv show. SUPERNANNY. It’ very interested. Teaches u how to deal with
Maybe child is Overtired, he is still probarly trying to regulate his emotions.
Theyre 4. Theres a lot of big emotions and feelings they dont have the skills to manage…
Stop expecting little tiny children to behave like adults
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Hey I bought up 5 kids one with adhd what I found was routine was a must and there bed time was 7pm no later until they were older and if they played up then they had to go to bed early the next night give him a choice he still has to go to bed at 7pm or even 630 if he can’t sleep then he may look at book but not aloud to get out of bed and stick to it they will push you but stick to your guns what they say is one time to make a habit 3days to break it or longer but as hard as it is stick to it goodluck
Here I’ll spell it out for you.
D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E. A child acts the way you allow them to act. I never understand a parent saying my kids won’t listen or this or that. Are YOU making them listen? Are YOU making them mind? Rarely is it a kid problem it’s mostly a parent problem.
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I mean they’re four. You need to follow through with gentle but firm boundaries
I agree with watching Supernanny shows, both the one with Jo Frost and the American one with Deborah Tillman. Also read about challenging children—your librarian should be able to recommend some titles. Possibly ADHD or oppositional defiance disorder is a factor.
Give 2 or max 3 choices so they have some control and agency. This shirt or that shirt? Macaroni or spaghetti? This playground or that playground? Sit in the grocery cart or push it? Apple or orange?
Have a set routine as much as humanly possible. Listen and ask questions when they’re calm. Model being calm when they’re upset (yes, it’s hard). Maybe get a sheet of emotions with emoji faces used for non-verbal people and ask them which of the big emotions they’re feeling.
I found having family meetings to discuss problems at the same time every week was helpful. You write down the problems to solve (I hate what you serve for dinner, I want to go to Disney World, there are toys all over the floor, I need more help with housework, we have too much chaos in the morning, whatever). Post the list and ask everyone to try and think of solutions. Have an object to hold and start with the youngest child. They explain the problem as best they can without interruption. Then people can ask questions and try to restate the problem. The speaker answers and clarifies.
Only then do people state ideas for solutions (write them down, no matter how ridiculous). The person speaking gets the object to hold with no interruptions. After all ideas are stated, discuss which ones are viable and ideas for modifying others. Maybe Disney World isn’t possible, but a local water park is. Maybe the child can pick the menu for dinner one night a week but not all. Having one big bin or several labeled containers and a timer set for 10 minutes to put away toys at certain times every day will solve the clutter problem. If you can’t find a viable solution, put it on the next week’s agenda. If something isn’t working after a week or two it goes back on the agenda to work on details. Being heard and listened to without interruptions is the best gift you can give anyone.
Maybe making a chore chart & everyone going around and picking one chore to do until they’re all taken will even out the household load. Have gold stars & rewards for accomplishing most or all chores at the end of the week. Rewards can include 15 minutes extra screen time, a book or trip to the library, picking a restaurant for dinner, etc. Ice cream or other treats are fine once in a while but don’t always offer food as a reward to avoid eating disorders.
Good luck! No one’s perfect but keep striving. These things worked really well for me.