Anyone else have a difficult baby?

Anyone else have a super difficult baby? I have a 1 and 3 year old. My youngest has been very difficult since day 1. Trouble nursing, had to supplement, trouble with 5 formulas to find the right one. Constant colic for about 5 months after she was born. Just now beginning to sometimes sleep 10-12 hours at night without waking up. My son still isn’t pooping on the potty but pees all the time. I felt like I can’t properly give him the attention he needs to be reminded to potty every hour but most times he tells me so that helps a lot! My youngest just nonstop fussing. She’s 13 months old and has 5 teeth. No longer nursing but takes toddler formula daily she loves it. But I cannot put her down. With anything some days are better than some but man do I feel like there are more bad days than good anymore😑 she loves going outside but this time of year we can do walks but not too long with the wind sometimes. When we’re inside she constantly needs me by her side or with her and just won’t play by herself. If my son stays and plays with her she’s ok for a few minutes but not long. I feel like she’s clung to me so much and i have no family in area to help. Just me and my husband and poor guy he helps me SO much! He’s always trying to give me a break anytime he can and he works 2 jobs and is always willing to do housework, order in if I don’t have energy to cook, takes the kids for me to get some time alone. Just feel like I can’t be the only one struggling this much and I need some encouragement that it will get better

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I will be ok , this too shall pass , I had a two year old , a four year old , and a very colically newborn. , that all she did was scream 24/7 Everytime she slept every little noise would wake her back up . My partner at the time was worthless and didn’t help at all… be thankful you at least have him . Good news they are all grown now and everything is great.

I mean it’s just a baby. She’s hard but not abnormal. You’re doing a good job and so is she. It does get better.

In ten years you won’t remember this at all. Yes, it will be ok. Everything will change, maybe not as quickly as you would like, but they will be in school before you blink an eye.

It’s ok for kids to cry sometimes. It’s ok to put your toddler in a safe space alone and walk away for a few mins. My first had colic and he cried for hrs sometimes. I had to learn that I didn’t have to rush to him Everytime he cried especially when he got older. Yes offer support and comfort but also letting them cry for a few mins before you do so and/or after a few mins of offering support is ok. It helps when they transition to daycare or school etc to let them learn how to self soothe. I’d look up some videos on teaching self soothing in toddlers and helping with clingy children. Also. My son (6) still very much loves me and we have a great relationship even tho he had to cry sometimes.

Maybe try to give her something of yours to comfort her (bed time shirt or blanket you use) I do this with my 5 yr old to keep her from coming and sleeping in my bed not that I don’t love her to but between her and my 2 yr old they are all over the place side ways sleeping feet in my back just weird positions and I can’t handle both of them doing it. So I gave her a throw blanket that I use and she hasn’t been in my bed for a good week or so. Just an idea maybe throw some cartoons on sit her on the couch and tell her mommy’s going to go handle some chores but here I need you to hold this and keep it safe for mommy until she’s done the dishes or laundry whatever it may be. Tell her she has to sit still and keep it safe. Worth a shot but I have a clingy one also my 2 yr old is attached at my hip where I go he has to go but he’s not fussy so to say he’s just a follower and wants mom.

Get babysitter recommendations from people and online, get to know your neighbors, join a mom’s group to find potential caregivers. Invite your family members to come help out too before you lose your mind.

If you have a faith tradition, go to the religious institution and put them in Sunday school or the equivalent, tell them that you know the baby will be inconsolable, but you just need 30 minutes of the service to decompress. Also a great place to meet other moms who can help keep you sane & you can find potential babysitters there.

And yes, put the cranky one in a crib or playpen and walk away sometimes. Maybe a weighted blanket or I’ve seen a weighted heart pillow would help, or those teddy bears that make whooshing sounds like in the womb. Also maybe put a T-shirt you’ve worn around the child when you set the baby down.

You’re doing a remarkable job under trying circumstances. Eventually things will get better. The U.S. is terrible about taking care of parents and children and puts so many obstacles in the way.

Also, maybe find a reputable alternative medicine person who can help settle your little one. I know Kaiser Permanente has an office of alternative medicine. It took a year of homeopathics and prescribed supplements but my kids got so much better and rarely got sick after that because we strengthened their immune systems so early. Kyolic garlic & acidophilus capsules emptied into their bottles and baby food helped.

One preschool manager called the time between pickup and dinner “Hell hour” for parents, but when it’s all day that’s awful. My kids never slept more than 6-8 hours at night so 10-12 is a plus. Good luck!