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"I’ve been dating someone for a year. We have discussed marriage many times. Recently he told me he wants me to sign a prenup regarding his business he owns when we do tie the knot . I’m not in it for money, but would that include everything that is accumulated through that business money? I love him and said that’s not a problem. I know get a lawyer. But is this normal? Or maybe someone has experienced “prenup” situations"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would definitely negotiate something for yourself in cases where he asks you to stay at home with kids etc. maybe he puts money in a retirement account for you. If y’all stay together it will benefit him too if not you are getting something for time and dedication… I do agree now a days men and women alike have to protect their assets as there is not loyalty anymore."
"Prenups are common he literally just doesn’t want you taking his business when and if you guys spilt. Which is understandable especially if he started it before you guys even were a thing!"
"Prenuptial protects both parties. After x number of years of marriage, you would be entitled to half of the proceeds from the business from the time of the marriage but you couldn’t touch the business itself."
"Get your own lawyer. Depending on how it’s written, a prenup will protect both of you. That’s why you also get your own lawyer - to make sure there’s someone looking out for your best interests as well. (Side note - my divorce attorney told me to always have a prenup, especially if I have my own business and especially if I will be in a vulnerable position like being a stay at home mom) Don’t be offended. Use it to your advantage."
"I’d ask a lawyer for sure. I’d want to know if the prenup is for current value of the business + inflation over the years or if it would be full value later on. As a spouse of 16 years, I know some success in business comes from stability at home with a supportive wife. I’ll sacrifice time and again to help better my spouses business. While I wouldn’t consider divorce in my own marriage, if heaven forbid it came to that I would feel part of the business value should be split between us. While I never would’ve thought about these things as important early in our relationship, time invested in all of the above would have me changing my mind."
"Prenups are common and good for both of you. It’s basically a contract that tells you what you would be entitled to if you guys split. My best advice is let him have one drafted and then take it to a lawyer of your choice and have them spell it out for you. Not his lawyer. That way you can’t feel their was any bias in what was explained later."
"I’m 100% for prenuptial agreements. Remember, not all agreements are one-sided. Do it together and add in stipulations that protect you as well. Protecting yourself is smart. No one wants to believe a marriage will fall apart but we know they do, so protect that possibility."
"Prenups are important. It’s not a bad thing. You can makes your own stipulations. I’ve watched couples be in court for years fighting over things. This is an agreement when both people are rational and still love each other. If things go south and there’s no prenup it will not be so rational and add more pain to the situation."
"Nothing wrong with a prenup. It’s protecting assets that belong to the respective individual, yourself included. Read it, make notes of things you don’t understand, have a lawyer look at it and ask those questions, also be sure to ask what stipulations are in it to protect you!"
"I had a prenup! It was REALLY handy during my divorce. We both walked into the marriage with assets and we walked away with the assets we had pre-marriage. I would do one again in a heartbeat! Make sure you both sit down and plan it out together so you’re on the same page and have an attorney put it together for you."
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