My husband has ADD. He has many issues from it that he refuses to recognize, but they really create hardships on our family. He has a job where he stares at a computer all day (which isn’t good for ADD anyway). He has blue light-blocking glasses, but all they do is help with eye strain. He does NOT take any medication or do anything at all to help with ADD symptoms. I work a full-time job as well. When he gets off work, he is a complete JERK. He comes downstairs and plops onto the couch, and gets on his phone. Anytime any of us try to get his attention, it takes 2-3 tries, and I have to ask him to put his phone down and actually give us his attention, which he gets incredibly rude about. As far as taking care of the house, he has gotten to the point where he doesn’t help at all and complains like crazy if I don’t get something done even though I work all day as well and take care of all 3 of our kids. His child has stated many times. Lately, they want to go live with their mom, and I can’t blame the poor kid because my husband is just a jerk to all of us most of the time. I 100% think him staring at a computer all day has an effect on his attitude the rest of the day. I have tried to talk to him about his ADD, but he gets super crappy with me and says it’s none of my business. Which obviously, it is because it’s affecting our kids and me. I love all three kids very much, and splitting them up would absolutely crush them and me. Has anyone else had a spouse with horrible ADD?
This doesn’t sound like ADD is the issue 
Your with him why???
My husband is ADD and doesn’t take medication but he is NOTHING like this.
Sounds more like technology addiction to me.
this isn’t due to ADD…not quite sure why you would correlate his behavior with it
I would leave him. A man that loves u doesn’t treat u like that
Sounds like depression… I do this when my depression gets bad…
Sounds like depression not ADD
What does this have to do with ADD? Maybe do some research what it actually is bcuz this is not it sounds like he’s just a ahole!!
Who said he gas ADD?. Dont sound like this anything to do Add…more to it somewhere
Sorry but that’s not why he acting like that. Also him having screentime actually helps with add and ADHD cause it keeps his attention as does his phone both are stimulating his mind. So maybe you should find out the real problem and not blame it on ADD
I have ADD and do not act like this AT ALL! I clean, cook, work, school and take care of the children. ADD actually makes me wanna do things. I’ve actually been diagnosed but I’m pregnant so I’m not on meds. My ADD makes me wanna talk non stop to my husband. I do sometimes struggle with focusing on doing my school work but I’ve learned how to manage it as a 28 year old adult. He sounds like he’s being a jerk just because that’s how he is.
This doesn’t sound like ADD is the primary issue. I’d tell him to see a doctor and a therapist - ultimatum.
That’s an excuse…
I have add I don’t act like this um maybe he’s just an asshole haha
I have adhd (add is actually an outdated term) and that ain’t it. Sounds like he may have a different issue. Adhd meds won’t help that, but it sounds like he should seek help for whatever is ailing him.
Sounds more like asshole syndrome not add
Just because it takes 2-3 times to get someone’s attention doesn’t mean they have add/adhd.
My husband has ADD and used to use it as an excuse to avoid things. From my experience with it, I’d say he’s stressed or depressed and trying to escape. We really struggled with constructive conversation for a long time bc of it. I’d say therapy. I know men are hard to convince sometimes but I don’t believe in throwing away something good if there’s a fix. I’d say make time for a date night or just time without kids and try to have a serious talk about stuff that could be bothering him.
That has nothing to do with ADD and everything to do with your husband being a jerk.
This is not just Add, this is him using it as an excuse to be a dick!! Not ok. I’m ADHD myself and I’d never treat my partner this way. Depression is also not an excuse to be nasty to your partner.
My fiancee has ADHD and OCD… when it acts up. He snaps out and can be very rude
My husband has A.D.H.D. as well as a full time computer job working from home, with 5 children, what you described would not fly in my house.
A.D.D. is not an excuse to disrespect your spouse or ignore your children. Either he has another issue that is not discribed or he’s just an ass.
Lady thats not ADD. You just married an asshole. Literally NONE of those are ADD symptoms. I have ADD. Diagnosed at 8. Im 37 now. On and off with meds. My daughter is ADHD. shes 15 now. My daddy was ADD and he was the sweetest man in the world. Look into counseling or better yet, divorce.
My husband has it. He cannot remember ANYTHING I ask him to do, no matter how much he wants to. He doesn’t act hateful though, that sounds like an excuse but could be wrong.
ADD does not sound like the issue here
My daughter has ADHD and irritability is part of any attention deficit disorder. Intervention will help, or good old fashion nagging/bitching will make him do something. Tell him you’ll go to the doctor with him as he may be ashamed. Maybe he was shamed about it as a child or in adulthood. As I heard a friend say today, you as the mom are not a donkey. Your spouse and your kids can not climb onto your back and expect you to carry them all up a hill like a donkey can. In other words, you need help so demand he gets help.
I have ADD and I have a job where I stare at a computer all day. I’m also a single Mom and run a household all on my own. If I’m having a hard time paying attention to someone I chew gum. It helps a lot. Your husband being a jerk though has nothing to do with ADD. That’s just him.
My honey has ADD. I read him your post. We both agree this is not ADD related, but he’s using it as an excuse or crutch for his bad behavior.
My fiancé has ADD and ADHA
Doesnt sound like ADD at all…
ADHD, Narcssism, Depression are all different conditions. First is need to figure out which…but ill point out that A.d.d. often goes undiagnosed…even the many with it are not ‘jerks’ just hyper. Or cant focus etc…still nice though…Rude and selfish are seperate issues…thats a personality hun…like depression…usually rude people are rude…sad people can still care…so id figure which it is… it may be who he is… i know great people who adapted well to adhd… Autism even, you might of married a jerk. I did… his mask might just be coming off…any kindness in my x was all fake…and that i dont care jerk attitude…isnt adhd at all…add either… he wanted babied and was rude but never cared to stop help or b nice…on meds or off…on he got worse for us…so its your choice…what do you want or are you able to live with…willing to live with… chances are this is just his personality. Some narcs take 7 years to be cruel…my x was 4 years of wooing then just like that…until it got worse… So idk…everyones different…if not, a doctor might be able to help or some councilling can.I hope that works but if someones a jerk…no conditions cause it…millions are kind safe live with them…they still help others…however, bad people with bad attitudes they can have any condition its a decision. Its choice to see you, care to help or not…thats his heart, so id b careful…we do what we do want to…its sad… But you and those kids matter too…just know… good hearts stay good… in any condition…best of luck…am praying it works out well for this/your family…
ADD? And can stay in one place “staring at a screen” all day?
Sit on the couch and stare at his phone?
Did he tell tell you this diagnosis? Did you witness it? Sounds like a pitiful excuse for his bad behavior.
I recommend couples counseling. If he refuses to go, then ADD isn’t the problem.
My partner and I make lists of what shared tasks need to be done for the week. Clear expectations seems to help. But, my partner is super motivated to make things better for our family. He goes to individual counseling as well. I have ADHD and he has ADD so it can be difficult at times. You really have to evaluate if he’s making an effort and how it’s effecting your mental health.
I have add and I stare at a computer all day. Thats not what is making him a jerk. He is just being a jerk and doesn’t want to be around yall as a family.
My husband and my ex both have adhd. I also have a daughter with adhd. His behavior imo has nothing to do with adhd. He seems to have a very selfish attitude and has checked out.
My husband is add and doesn’t not act like this
… I don’t think ADD is the issue
Sounds more like he is just not happy (not with you,kids per say) he needs a hobby amd put side source of entertainment.
My father, brother, myself, and all 4 of my kids have ADHD… That’s not his problem here, being forgetful or easily distracted yes but the attitude because you get his attention is not
That’s not ADD. 
He’s just an A-hole.
Yeah people with add or adhd absolutely hate their task being interrupted if they are actually focused
Mine can get ugly if it gets out of hand
Has he ever been tested for further neurological problems like autism ?
Adversarial atmosphere
Make him take breaks throughout the day from the computer. Go outside get fresh air or something.
Working from home has him overwhelmed, exhausted etc.
Sounds more like A Dickhead Disorder, not add.
I have add and this is not add. He just sounds like a selfish man.
He has responsibilities to his family and tell him to grow up he sounds self-centered to me
I’m the ADD spouse and can assure you that isn’t his problem. Sounds more like Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
I have ADD and it Sounds to me like he may have depression also. I have to make lists and keep myself motivated to complete those lists but I still make time to spend with mmt kids and grandkids.
No. My husband has OCD, ADD, ADHD, severe anxiety disorder. What your explaining to everyone is straight up asshole behavior.
SOME OF YOU ARE ACTING LIKE BECAUSE HE HAS ADD IT GIVES HIM A REASON TO BE NASTY WITH HIS WIFE AND FAMILY. This is sad that some of you are agreeing and saying yea I can be pretty nasty too. Yes you are for being a adult and agreeing with your behavior of acting out because someone needs your attention while watching tv or on the phone. Grow up seriously ADD and all. YOU CAN HAVE ADD/ADHD AND BE RESPECTFUL!
I’m not saying it isn’t a mental issue, but I don’t think that’s from his ADD alone. (Though I’m no professional either.) Regardless of the source it’s not fair for you to have to work all day, as well and take care of the kids and house by yourself. Plus deal with him being rude to you. It sounds like he may need to go to therapy, maybe get some medication. There’s no shame in that, it’s more shameful to continue to hurt people because he refuses to seek help than to admit to needing it. Explain how the extra household tasks and his behavior are affecting you and the kids. Make him realize that if he doesn’t try to change he’s going to ruin his relationship with his family permanently.
This is laziness lol. Hes using ADD as an excuse, im ADD/ADHD if anything im constantly going/doing. I can’t keep my train of thought but things get done
It almost sounds like a form of autism.
That’s not ADHD, or ADD alone. Autism looks like obnoxious behavior, unaware of how he is treating people around him, not understanding why what he said or did was offensive, getting angry because he can’t indulge in his personal obsessions, being keenly self focused and not realistic about the impact of his behavior on others, obsessive and demanding, overly particular but in an unbalanced or unfair way. It can come off as rude or dismissive too. BUT, this wouldn’t be new behavior from him. ASD doesn’t come and go.
ADHD people are a lot, but they are also, on some level, aware of how their behavior effects those around them. They can read body language, and see things from your point of view. People who can’t put themselves in other people’s shoes suffer from things like Autism, or personality disorders. I would try to find a way to get him a proper diagnosis. My daughter was diagnosed ADHD and low emotional liability, with a 0 frustration level, and borderline ODD (which he could have, but in adults that usually turns in to ASPD, and you want NOTHING to do with that). It turns out she was ADHD and Autistic. It can easily be misdiagnosed if you’re focused on one thing and not the whole picture. Even if it’s ADHD with depression (also a very common combination that can make people vehemently avoid doing anything they find displeasing) I still don’t know how you would get someone like that into a doctor for a second opinion. If he isn’t interested in fixing his behavior, and he has no problem justifying it, or blaming you, or deflecting, or becoming defensive and shutting down, you really can’t convince someone like that to get help. They have to admit there is a problem before they will find a way to right it.
Having ADD doesn’t give you the excuse to be a jerk
His add has nothing yo do with him not wanting to help around the house. The only part th day sounds like add is not being able to get his attention when he’s focused and getting annoyed when he’s interrupted. He just sound like he’s being an ass. Tell him how it is and how everyone is feeling. And he’s making his kids not want to be around him. Make him an appointment for a therapist and hopefully they can help him
I have adhd and everything you are blaming on Add is just him not Add.
This isn’t ADD its laziness, disrespect and meanness. Don’t let a label allow him to justify this kind of behavior. Kick his ass out and you will all be happier.
Most of the time… ADHD is Not the only diagnosis… often time a mood disorder can co exists… or some other type…
I have ADHD and depression and anxiety and I dont act like that. I dont act like a jerk but when I am not on my depression medication I cant do housework and have to make myself do it so then when I get started doing my housework I start 5 million little things and rarely finish it. Now when I am on my meds I constantly look for things to do. The only reason I was ever off my meds was pregnancy and then tried to breast feed for a bit. In my opinion for you dont make yourself stay with this jerk just for the kids.
Call me crazy but he’s just being lazy 
ADD doesn’t make you an asshole.