Anyone else think about divorce every time you fight with your husband? My mind automatically goes there. Been together 23 years and it still happens and I don’t know why.
19 Likes
I’m not married but have a partner and I instantly think of running carnt handle conflict I go into flight or fight mode
If you have a mostly happy and healthy relationship you could have something like BPD and the arguments are triggering a “split” it’s worth looking into therapy. If you’re unhappy more than not then maybe it’s because you really need and want to get a divorce.
True words come out of people when they are angry… Remember that.
Not sure why this is happening / maybe see a therapist! It’s also beneficial in EVERY marriage at different stages to get marriage counseling. I promise !
I’m guilty of checking out during or after a hard conversation, fantasizing about leaving and living in my perfect little space with only me in it, making all the choices, paying all the bills. Enjoying a meal that no one complains about and taking a shower in a pristine white bathroom without beard hair clippings and balled up socks next to the empty hamper…I think it’s the same thing.
Then I remember the vows I made and how lonely I’d be and how it would basically change every single thing about my life and I return to reality and try to rationalize the issue at hand and what importance it carries. Usually it’s out of petty frustration my mind goes there. We don’t agree on something and we’re arguing in circles or I’m not getting my way; maybe he’s the one being inflexible this time. Maybe we are in a difficult season. Marriage isn’t easy.
Long story long, yes. It runs through the quick list of easy ways to fix an issue and It pauses for a bit and then evaporates. Is it healthy to think that way? I don’t know but it’s normal for me.
15 Likes
Everybody has a problem solving mode in their thought process whether its acted on or not, to your deep self everything is on the table even if your surface self will shoot it down
It happens everytime because its what you want/need! #SelfCare
1 Like
If its gonna end, might as well be my fault… it’s a defense mechanism, that’s it
Yea especially fights about family lol
I do but I have a mean mouth on me and say things to hurt people with it. I’m working on it.
Tell him stop making promises he can’t keep🤣
He says it cause he thinks you will be lost without him. Even if that is true. Make believe u don’t care.
No but sticking his finger in others was …
You’re not happy in this marriage
1 Like
Yes but it’s because I’m bipolar… it’s something I’m working on.
3 Likes
Probably coz you’re getting older and your tolerance for BS is diminishing.
5 Likes
Guess there could be worse thoughts 
4 Likes
No. My husband doesn’t argue with me. He knows I’m right every single time. 