Am I the only one getting tired of waking up and the first thing you have to do is clean. Every single morning. I feel like I’m stuck in a loop. My husband says to let it go for just one day but men don’t understand how much that one day can put a mom behind in everything. I’m tired. I’m just so tired.
I feel you 100% it’s exactly like groundhog day!
I’m right there with you!
It is perfectly ok to let things go for a day. Sure it’s good to do it the night before… but if you’re exhausted, take a break. One night not doing anything is ok. There is always more time to get it done. Don’t exhaust yourself, there is always another time. Take time for yourself. I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years, there is always tomorrow. Take care of yourself
I feel this so much I’ve been struggling too
I do it. Every morning I get up between 4 and 5 am and clean the house before anyone else wakes up. I love it. I can’t just let it go for a day either.
Husband is right …let it go… it will make you miserable and perpetually tired. You can not do everything all of the time… sometimes the floor is left unswept or the dishes not washed… its ok.
I clean up at night. I would be miserable in the morning cleaning.
Make sure the house is clean before you go bed so its easier the next day to keep up
Geez, after reading all these comments I’m glad I’m a private person. Cleaning is the LAST thing on my list. My husband has OCD and he cleans his share. Everyone has a task to do and as long as it gets done, I don’t scold nor punish my kids. I work two jobs Nightshift so when I do clean, everyone gives me a high five.
I feel this feeling all too well I’m sorry
I clean at night but I have bad ocd and it just has to be done. But I don’t wana do it if that makes sense
I don’t clean first thing. I wake up make sure everyone is feed and ready to catch bus. Go for a quick walk. Then do a few chores but do different ones each day.
Im not a mom nor wife but I am obligated to clean and cook living with family.
I always tidy before bed, I hate waking up to a mess
Every. Single. Morning… were u listening to me yell at me kids?
Have your kids help, have your hubby help
Used to, not anymore.
Now I make sure everything is clean before I go to bed.
We tidy as we go along throughout our day. Our house being too out of order really messes with my mental health.
How old are your children? Mine are 12/10/5. We set a 10 min timer a few times a day for them to clean their rooms, and I set one for myself as well. That small timer, has made a huge difference in how our home operates.
Before going to bed I load the dishwasher, and toss in a load of laundry. I don’t start the laundry until in the morning, but something about it already being in there just makes it a bit easier lol.
I’ve also found that getting up a bit before my kids do, just to have a moment to myself, has helped so much.
Either way, take a deep breath mama, you’re not alone, you’ve got this
Mess has patience. It’ll wait as long as bathroom/kitchen clean, just take a break. Delegate some chores to children, if applicable.
I feel this been up since be4 6 been cleaning Eva since last night spent 3 hrs in kitchen and stoll cleaning but having a 5 Mib break
Heck yes it does set u bk and make the j9bs 10000 times longer of left a day I do this and hate it and think to my self WHY WHY WHY didn’t u do even few jobs lol *bar living room is must hahaha no matter what x
I feel this. I can’t even have a cup of coffee in a messy environment I can’t "relax " I clean just enough to relax on my days off of work and on my second day off I’ll “deep clean”. I have a 21 year old daughter at home who is newly pregnant and morning sickness is kicking her butt! So she’s lacking on cleanliness. … but I was also incarcerated for almost 6 years and scrubbed and cleaned and showered 3 times a day so I look at a little disorderliness as a blessing because I’m HOME with my family breathing free air and free to go where I please and love on who I please… life is a blessing don’t add extra anxiety worrying about a small mess.
If you can, don’t know financial situations but if all possible, get help with cleaning.
When my children were little I hired a girls for two hours a week to dust, clean bathrooms, and mopped while I vacuumed the whole house. Before she got there it wa my job to put toys away , clothes, and i cleaned kitchen before I went to bed, etc. I did the laundry. That forced me to keep a clean house. then i quit the household help when my kids were in middle school thru high school, if they wanted a messy room, it was theirs to clean up.
Now retired , I have 2 girls clean once a month, and we declutter, laundry, and the house picked u, etc but the dusting vacuuming, clean surfaces on kitchen and baths are left for the ladies.
We really don’t mess up much, I have the sheets laundered and they remake the beds, usually only one needs it.
There is no benefit it stressing yourself out. Your family needs YOU, not a spotless house. Give yourself a break every day, for however long you can, your body and your mind need it. If you drop in your exhaustion, what will happen then? The mess will continue without you.
A 5 minute mental health break may save a total breakdown.
I think you need to get advice, you maybe need to see your doctor,do you have little children, or just had a baby, it could be post natal depression, I know how your feeling and the guilt afterwards is uncomfortable so go see your doctor
Stop cleaning then,at least for today.
Hire someone don’t consistently do things that drain you it’ll build resentment. Hire someone and start doing something you enjoy or you’ll be very unhappy in life
I don’t even understanding this, but that’s just me. I’m not all about making everything perfect. I’m fine with my mess. I’m not going to wear myself out trying to be what I don’t want to do. That being said, I work my butt off. My home is my home. Dirty dishes or unswept floor… see ya tomorrow, or maybe next day.
I let my house get fucking messy AF. Then I clean it. . Cuz I used to clean every day and same thing got sick of it. So now I feel comfy but I clean when I feel like.it…
Since I lost my son in September I’m just tired of getting up
Clean as you go, I have 4 kiddos and I find it to be the best way to keep my house picked up throughout the day. Even cooking wash things as you use it, rinse plates off (with school being out i use paperplates for younger kiddos as having 5 people for 3 meals a day can be a lot of dishes). if you’re going to the bathroom an see it’s messy tidy it up before you walk out choose 1 day of the week to use cleaners. Laundry I separate everyone’s clothes instead of mixed loads, there’s 4 kids that’s 4 loads instead of mixing laundry and it feeling endless. Give kiddos chores I have a chore chart and on bottom it says “you don’t get devices until chore is done” (my 5 year old has to do stuff like get all cans and bottles around house or dog food/water, 7yo can sweep and empty dishwasher 12 year old can do bathroom clean kitchen just 1 chore a day each helps me a lot also teaches them to have routine and life skills) ask/teach them to pick up after themselves if theyre not playing with toys anymore You got this momma you’re doing great.
Is he contributing and taking some weight off both y’all’s plates ?
Clean before bed.
I just can’t be assed.
I get up an hr before leaving the house. 30mins for me and 30mins for the kid. That’s it
I wish that I had this mentality. I wish that my brain worked in a way that made “waking up to clean” was an actual thing that I suffered through for the greater good, vs. this dreaded thing that my brain chooses to dramatize and therefore avoid entirely.
It’s pretty rough with ADHD sometimes lmao. I wish I’d been diagnosed earlier so that I’d have had the chance to learn better tools at more formative points in my life, to be honest.
Because for me, the literal only reason to, for example, keep a clean house, is because I know I’m “supposed to” in order to have company/not get my son taken away (and also obviously just because I lack standards for myself doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to instill them in him, etc etc.
So like. I do the thing. But not because I give a flying fuck or because I get a single shred of joy, satisfaction, or even accomplishment out of it.
I could 1000% live in one of those hoarding houses because I’m an expert at dissociating, but I chose to bring a child into this world so instead I actively make the choice every day to do exactly what this post says. I’m luckier than many that I’m able to make this separation and priority.
Nobody asked for this ramble but idk maybe it will hit home for somebody. Maybe somebody that related to this post. Maybe somebody that felt inadequate while reading this post. Maybe somebody that just needed to be reminded that messes are big and overwhelming and also NOT YOUR SOLE RESPONSIBILITY but that’s a conversation for another day.
Try to do it at night instead , and have everyone else help you , like a night routine ,
If you have kids , have them pick all the toys and put them back where they are supposed to go , wash the dishes , have your husband to take the trash out, vacuum etc .
I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older no one cares when ya house is clean I’ve cleaned every morning also but as I’ve gotten older I clean every couple of days no one actually cares if ya house is clean or messy
In the blink of an eye, you will not have that problem anymore… your babies will be grown and gone… you better enjoy every Second…
Have a day off just do the basics and go out or rest you will burn yourself out otherwise
I do not clean first thing in the morning. Regardless of the mess I need to wake up, drink my coffee, nurse the baby and feed my other two (two who usually get the majority of their food themselves with permission) the mess will be there when my coffee is gone. Yes, it piles up but your sanity is important too. Sometimes the dishes can wait a day or two and it’ll be okay. Your kids are only little for so long.
Too many women just don’t wanta do anything anymore.
I’ve witnessed this so much & been keeping up…, its getting worse daily…women complaining about everything.
I honestly believe men should stand up & trade places with these girls/women for year or so or, permanently. I’ve seen where young kids way too many don’t even get 5 minutes outdoors ‘if that’ in a days times. How sad is this. I mean I do understand many living up in apartments buildings, low income etc & can’t let their children go in & out as they so need to do but there are other ways. Women have just got lazy & accustomed to doing NOTHING???! They don’t wanta cook, clean, take the kids out. They won’t go parks etc & meet other moms nothing. Truly breaks my knowing kids missing out on so much
I know that there are some exceptions to this, thank goodness & bless every woman, girl, mom etc that do for the kids…
Cleaning is 50/50. Let it go and take some me time.
I feel you. It used to cause me resentment and depression. Give yourself grace, maintaining a home is alot.
Now I make sure the kitchen is clean everyday. Additionally, I do a schedule to hold myself accountable on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for deep cleaning and clothes. The rest of days are optional. By giving myself a break, it has taken away my resentment/depression over cleaning daily and my house still stays tidy.
Set your boundaries and expectations early in a relationship and discuss them often and openly. Then stick to it. Everyone in the home should be pulling their weight doing household stuff whether they work outside of the home or not. Teach your daughters to set boundaries and expectations early and sons that house work is for everyone. Have a open and honest conversation with hubby that you are overwhelmed and would appreciate his physical help not just verbal of telling you to let it go. Although letting it go fo awhile (after talking to him) until he starts stepping up is also a valid option.
Yesssss!!! And sometimes I say enough is enough and I make myself not clean something for a certain amount of time. Bc in reality it really is okay for it to be dirty for a little while. When my anxiety gets bad, my ocd gets worse. So I set up little goals for myself. Like “don’t clean the cup till tomorrow” “wait 5 hours before you clean it” and it gets easier to relax sometimes
I do it after kids are in bed . And when I wake up I feel so amazing. Sometimes I can barely make it passed 8 pm but I still just do it . Because that feeling in the morning is way better than waking up to it . I also find I get a good wind around 630 pm . That’s when I take flight lol
Do you have children that you can delegate some of the cleaning chores to? Also, maybe try making a schedule.
Let it go for one day, if he does your job or else you will have a triple mess to clean and get too overwhelmed. just breathe and take it slower then your used too it still gets done just not as quickly.
Down size what you have…
from dishes, toys , bedding, clothes.
Also if you have kids have them help before bed or before they get to move on to the next you or device
Yup my to do list me er goes down….
I quit worrying about it when I realized that I was the only person in our household of 5 that cared or even noticed. If my bed is made and the sink is empty, I’m pretty content. And, the best part, it makes my now grown children crazy. When it bothers me, I do a task, but I’d much rather knit. If it bothers you, you can come do it.
Let everyone pitch in and help.
Take the day off enjoy your family. It’s not going anywhere!!!
Oh I feel this to my core. I have 2 young kids and our 3rd (and last) is due at the end of August. I have so much to do and I feel like I can’t get ahead or even catch up. Some days I don’t stop but then the next day I’m so exhausted I don’t get much done and that puts me more behind. If I don’t do things the clutter and disorganization gives me horrible anxiety. I have no encouraging words for you, just solidarity. I’m sure in a few years we’ll look back and realize it wasn’t such a big deal, but being in the thick of it is hard. Know you’re not alone
Is he helping you clean? Also I used to be like that too… until I started cleaning as my full time job. After doing it for 40+ hours a week I don’t clean at home like I used to. I accepted that going a day isn’t actually going to hurt anything.
When my babies were little I would clean at night after everyone went to bed so that I could wake up to a clean home.
Instead of letting it go for one day, maybe hubby can step up
I personally couldn’t do it I love my place immaculate
Time to get a little help. Maybe even hire someone for the big stuff.
Depression is real. Please seek help.
Self care is more important than a sterile environment. Take a break from deep cleaning every single day, I promise you the universe will not collapse.
Maybe He needs to see it all so he can help
I used to work and clean …was just part of my life and routine…no help when kids were small ,when they got older they helped their mum …was not enforced , it was their choice and I was so proud of how they helped me …of course ironing was not a favourite …only when absolutely required lol…otherwise take off and fold and pack away , and if you do it immediately does not pile up …now most of our ladies have washing machines …I went through a phase where I did not even have that …as for babies used sterri nappy disposable nappies only for going out …nowadays most mummies uses disposables regardless of finances …but mummies it’s important to give yourselves a break …you need to …mentioned so many times in this group an actual group …not just a whatsap group where you actually meet up …even give each other a break from being mummy for a day , be the support to one another not only mentally but physically as their are quite a few mommies who has no actual physical support structure …think that would really be awesome …on Facebook you can get lots of emotional support , even monetary and earth angels shares their blessings with one another …but time …that is different
Why are you ?the only one cleaning
I love that your husbands answer is leave it go, instead of let me do it.
Double insult. “your job here is not pivotal”. and “it never even occurs to me that you are a human being with needs and limits.”
I’m usually up first, so I take that 30 minutes just to tidy up, fill the dishwasher etc. But for the most part, we do those 5 minute tidy ups a couple times a day.
And the days we don’t feel like it, we don’t it’s no biggie.
My husband and I own a successful cleaning service.our home was starting to be on the back burner.we agreed to set a 15min timer every eve and do busy work until it stopped(usually Alexa playing upbeat music for 15.sometimes we keep going sometimes that’s all the effort we have to give but it has helped so much and you’d be surprised how much you can get done in that 15.
Clearly you need a day. But come on how many times we clean and 5 mins later the house is destroyed? A day will not do much. Do the main things like dishes and put the husband/kids to work. Even my 3 year old helps with small things
Tell your husband to help you
Yup, been there, still am there, have grown adults in the house and as soon as I get up I let the dogs outside then proceed to load the dishwasher because God forbid they put the dishes in it instead of right beside it lol
So I have mental illness, work 60 hours a week and have three children. There’s a difference between tidying and cleaning. Tidying will make it appear you have a clean house when you really don’t. Focus on tidying your house to make it an enjoyable space. Ask your husband to hire a cleaning company to deep clean it once you’ve tidied it. I did this and it helped me get ahead and not have to think about housework the moment I get out of bed.
I find it helpful if I clean up before bed. Not like a deep clean. I make sure the kids stuff is put away,I start the dishwasher, I fold blankets and put them away in the living room. I’ll wipe down the kitchen counters. Just a few little things to make it not as chaotic for the morning.
How old are your children? If you have children under 5 then you may have to let some things go until they get older.
When mine were little we did the cleanup song and picked up toys before bedtime. I also try to clean up the kitchen after dinner. As long I don’t wake up to a kitchen full of dirty dishes and can walk through the house I am at peace with my home not being perfect. Family of 5. It took me a while to accept that my home was not going to be perfect but once I came to peace with it my mental health greatly improved. All of my children are over 5 now but I still don’t stress about my home being perfect anymore. I do what I can as time allows, make my children clean up after themselves, the older ones do chores, I clean the kitchen of dirty dishes and vacuum the floor of food crumbs before settling down for the evening then let everything else go. My family is expected to rinse dishes immediately after use and set to the side of the sink. I don’t allow people to pile unrinsed dishes in to the sink. And, if someone makes a crumby mess then I make them get the vacuum and clean it up. I also don’t allow outside shoes to be worn past the doorway and no eating or drinking outside the kitchen/dining area. These things help keep a house clean. I do allow apples for snacking in front of the tv since it’s relatively clean and healthy and occasionally popcorn for a movie. Again, anyone being messy gets to clean it up. This gives incentive for each individual to put thought and effort into not being messy and teaches responsibility for ones own actions.
Its not just men my wife does nothing at all round the house apart from make the bed. I get home 3.30 I don’t get to sit down till around 7pm to 7.30m
Tell your man child husband to freaking wash some dishes, or vacuum the floor once in a while. You know, actually contribute to the household instead of just being a paycheck. Switch up the cleaning you do in the morning so it doesn’t feel like the same damn thing everyday. Normally dishes and kitchen first? Clean the living room a bit instead then go to the kitchen. The other people who say you should do it the night before like that’s an option you didn’t already think of, Jesus, get the hell out of here. Your super tired but don’t go to bed but stay up all night cleaning. Yeah OK. And of course there’s some things you can’t do because you know, kids wake up if your making a bunch of noise. I listen to podcasts while doing dishes or rock out to some music while cleaning, instead I’m supposed to do stuff in quiet so I don’t have two babies waking up and crying? Freaking depressing.