Hello everyone…
So this is probably going to be a long story, but In late sept we finally tested positive for a pregnancy after trying for a little while. We were extremely happy and had plans to tell our family around Christmas time. As I was at work in middle of october I started bleeding. We then rushed to the hospital to do tests and ultra sounds in a panic and so scared and worried what it might be etc. (and my mind likes to over think the worst case scenario which I try hard not to do) we got the results back that it was an ectopic pregnancy (scariest moment of our lives) so I either have an emergency and remove one of my tubes that the fertilized egg was stuck in, or have three shots of methotrexate a chemo medication to help get rid of the growth, because it could have destroyed my tube to the point It would be harder to conceive again, as then I would have only had 1 tube… after approximately 10 viles of blood, doctors coming back and forth in the room and giving me those chemo shots… to finding this out… destroyed me, and I’m still quite hurt from it obviously. As we all know, when you get really excited about something with the love of your life, or someone very special you hope for nothing but the best and work yourself up and can’t wait for that one thing you have always hoped for to complete every part of you…
It’s been about 2 weeks that I had my last blood work… my hcg levels are back down to 0. They state I should wait a couple months, but its been confusing because they also said I could conceive again shortly after my levels are back down to 0. (I know I should let my body heal which I have been doing, I get that…as well as my mind that I’m slowly trying to heal and my heart…which takes time) I was wondering if anyone else experienced this trauma but still managed to conceive? I just want to know other peoples experiences and no where i sort of stand in this matter. Some may probably think I’m selfish for wanting to try again. Yes I am terrified of it happening again, yes I am very worried. I am still hurt about all this and quite shocked. I will be for a very long time, as things like that you don’t just get over but I know I can not let this control me… I have learned that. But we both don’t want to give up and know there are hopes out there that we will be blessed with a happy healthy little babe of our own. As it is 5% it happening again, and life’s so short enough not to keep trying for a family everyone’s always dreamed of having right? Everyone deserves that. Please no negative comments, my heart hurts enough and don’t want any mean comments. I just need other mamas who experience something similar that can help in words of wisdom and advise . Thank you in advance. 