I’m not sure what exactly I’m asking but just need to vent. Does anyone have family that is just not involved in their kids lives? My mom will never check in on us or visit unless I initiate it. I have a 5 year old and a 3 month old. These are her only grandkids. I don’t ask her to babysit. I just would like her involved in their lives. I know I can’t force her and I’ve had talks with her and she’s said she’ll make an effort and then doesn’t. It’s upsetting and frustrating. She is the closest family we have and we mostly just see her on my older daughter’s birthday and Christmas. I just don’t even know what the point is anymore and it’s sad for my daughter. I just had my second daughter and she never asks about her or asks to see her. I’m just frustrated. Thanks for listening.
Yes I do my mom does speak to me unless I call her and doest see my kids unless I go there she hasn’t seen me or my kids in about 10 years
If she wanted to she would - my child is now a teen and I’m over sounding like a broken record in regards to them being absent. Their loss 
your gain. Chuck them 
and keep it pushing.
My son is 15 and still questions who my dad is. He blocked my 19 year old on facebook. Move on, don’t stress about it and appreciate the people who willingly choose to be in your lids lives
I cannot imagine this . Have you tried to talk to her and ask her what the deal is ? I am
So sorry 
My kids are grown now and my mother and most of family live in a 10 mile vicinity however they weren’t involved. My mom would do the same not call or anything however my sister lived 4 houses down and I would see her pick up her kids. My mom would never make an effort it was always me asking. Would show up at Christmas and bday. My daughter has no relationship with her now and it’s all been very painful. Especially when my grandparents treated my son differently. I don’t push her to go see them or anything that’s their problem not hers. They can deal with the lack of relationship bc obviously they didn’t want one. I would not ask not one more time bc I wish I would have stopped making effort early on
It takes effort on both parts. As we grow and have our own kids, we often expect everyone around us to drop what they are doing in their lives and do all the work and show all the effort to be a part of our children’s lives and when they don’t, we get upset and blame them for not putting forth any effort. The phones, texts, visits, all work both ways. Your mom has her own life outside of you and your children. You have your own live outside of your mother’s life. Call her and find out when you and the kids can drop by and say hi. Maybe ask her what’s going on in her life because she could be facing problems you don’t even realize because you are only focused on being upset that she isn’t making an effort and if that isn’t like her. I know it sounds like an excuse, but think about all the things that you’ve gone through in the 5 years that you’ve been a mom and now look at all the things your mother has gone through in the time that you’ve been alive. Being a mom is hard, it never gets easier and once your kids are grown, it’s a different type of stress. Make a little more effort to be involved with her- find out if anything is going on and then if the pattern continues and it’s just her not really wanting to be a part of them, then you can back off and only put the energy into fostering that relationship that you feel comfortable with. A lot of kids are quick to cut off their parents for things based off their anger in the moment. Do a little digging, find out if your mom is struggling with something and if she isn’t then only invest the energy you feel like investing. I am sorry you are struggling with feeling like she doesn’t want to be a part of your lives. I would love to have grandbabies to spoil and love and watch grow and it saddens me when parents throw that opportunity away. If I could be an honorary grandparent I would take that job in a heart beat.
I know its not the same but My brother is not involved and neither is my husband’s sister. They aren’t really kid people and they have very similar personalities where if the attention isn’t on them they don’t want any part of it and Sister in law is nearly 40 still bullying me and my husband but shows up for her other nieces …I could definitely reach out to my brother more but my sister in law is a hopeless cause that I’ve given up on. It’s not unusual in this day and age to not have all family members be a part of your kids life. It’s just how it is sometimes, if they do mention it, it’s a great opportunity to teach about boundaries and respect! I don’t think you should have to beg a parent to show up for their grandkids. Sometimes family members just aren’t happy for each other. I’m sorry you and your kids have to feel this way!
I just had my 1st grand baby 4 months ago and I don’t get near the time I thought I would with him cause I work full time and have 1 still in high-school. I breaks my heart for myself, my son and his wife but mostly cause I’m not getting to see the baby like I want cause we’ll life… when I’m free they have something going on ect. Just sharing a mom-grammas thoughts
Yeah. Me. Not from a lack of efforts on my part
I’ve struggled with this for years now but with in-laws. Always a reason to justify why some of them cannot visit or make it to certain events. Gets my husband and I in arguments - same argument, different day, repeated for almost half our sons life now. I just say the same thing ‘respect is earned, not given’… ‘ treat others the way you want to be treated’… ‘respect and honesty are huge in relationships’… ‘white lies don’t make for healthy relationships’…our most recent lingering difference is that his family covered up for his brother not attending either one of our sons bday parties. We had two - one for immediate family and a second one for friends and family. For the first bday party, they said he needed to stay home with their mom who is unwell and hence couldn’t make it. The next day though they all showed up to dinner, without any of them needing to stay home with the mom. Then, while at dinner, we caught on that they had said the same bro couldn’t come to our son’s second bday because he had church at that time… only prob is our sons second party started at noon and from the conversation in front of us, they would be done with church by 9:30am. So he didn’t attend either of the parties (we weren’t pressuring him or other immediate family to absolutely have to attend both, but attending one of the two is respectful) and both times they had a cover that surfaced. Safe to say, I wasn’t too pleased and still am not.
My husband’s father has seen his only grandchild a grandson 3 times and he’s 13 now. We moved 8 years ago due to family (my side) medical needs and my husband has spoke to his Dad 1 time since. He tried to send texts and pictures of our some and his Dad told him not to because it cost him to receive them so we stopped completely.
Well I see you joined the crowd of not involved family especially grandparents. Yeah it happened and it’s more and more normal. It shouldn’t be that’s the way it is. Don’t put your kids in their lives cuz they made you a choice and an option and that’s not good. So see your way out
I usually visit my parents once a week with my kids. My parents are old and they can’t drive anymore. At the summer time I usually pick them up for picnics or to the beach. My mom doesn’t like going out she says she old and like staying home. But she loves when we visit.
My husband’s family is like that. Could care less to contact us but complain when not invited to school thing etc (they are 2hrs away) they don’t call or anything and I feel like Christmas is a burden but when I decide to not have a family birthday for my 12 yr old they throw a fit. It’s ridiculous
Yes. Have always had an open invitation and also specific invitations to visit or meet up.
Here’s my thing. If they are toxic to me, they are toxic to my children. They should worry bout THEIR LEGACIES. Most people are lucky to be remembered by 3 generations. The ones not involved in my kids lives, get one generation, mine. I have the only verbal kids and they don’t know them. They gave themselves no legacy to leave behind. Their memory ends with myself and siblings. That’s their punishment…
My parents weren’t all that involved in my son’s life. My dad was very I’ll and passed when my son was 9 months old and then my mom didn’t drive (we lived an hour away). She passed away almost 2 years ago. I had some resentment because they didn’t come see us after he was born (emergency C-section) but it was what it was. My son loves his grandpa Roger even though he didn’t get to know him in person and my son loves his Bama and still talks about her a lot. They didn’t get to spend much time together but we talk about fun things and events from when I was a kid so it all works itself out.
Unfortunately, I know your pain. Not my mom but my sister. You just have to come to terms she isn’t going to change. If she didn’t after that first conversation you had with her, she won’t now. It’s not your fault or the kids, she just isn’t in her “grandmother era”. I’m so sorry you are going thru this. I hope you can find peace and continue to love your sweet babies enough for the both of you. Xoxo
my youngest daughter had my first grandbaby less than 2 moths ago & I get him 2xs a week so my daughter is can sleep & I get my snuggle time & bond with him… I don’t beg or force it… as long as she’s ok with me taking him for the night I will continue to do so on my days off 
My son and myself. I have parents and sisters and grandparents, and my ex is alive and well and has his parents, two siblings, and 6 nieces/nephews and none of them have ever seen my son. Their choice, and I have extended family as well. I don’t chase anyone down.
I’m so sorry 
. You cannot force her to be a good, active, involved, loving grandmother. She’s really missing out.
I watched my granddaughter since she was 2 weeks old, and her mom was still in college. I now pick her up from school everyday. She is the highlight of my day. That being said, I have never had to work outside of my home. Your mom may work, and be busy in her own life.
85% of the year it’s just who lives in my home.
I have to say, as the grandmother in this particular scenario, I would not be able to breathe if I did not see my grandbaby every day. He and his parents live here, which I know, makes a difference, but that little man is the sun,the moon, and the stars all wrapped up in one little package. And I feel so blessed to be able to share in any moments of his life with him.! if they wanted to participate, they would, and that baby only deserves the people who will be there unconditionally!
My mom passed away several years ago but before she did, we didn’t have the best relationship. My sister and I lived with my dad if that tells you anything. I had the first grandbaby and she didn’t meet him until he was almost 2. She passed away when my oldest was around 5/6 and she only ever saw him a handful of times and lived less than 15 minutes from me. I invited her to dinners, gatherings and the like. Always some excuse as to why she couldnt come. I spent years shedding tears over this situation. I gave up for the sake of my own peace and she passed a few months later. I harbored a lot of guilt for several years but in the end I know I did what I could. My dad also has next to nothing to do with all of his grandkids now. Presents for Christmas and a phone call on birthdays, occasionally shows on Thanksgiving. So, I understand what you are dealing with. At the end of the day, I have just stopped trying because life is too short to worry about the why’s and what ifs. It was a dream to have a happy and put together family, that involved my parents but in the end, my little family is thriving and happy without them. It has been their lose, my kiddos know no different. Good luck girl, I know first hand what it is like. 
My brother has only seen my 4 year old a handful of times.
My 4 year olds dad side of the family never reach out (they think seeing pictures on Facebook is enough) and see him once a year on his birthday, his biological grandfather on that side met him at 2 months old and has never reached out again.
I do not and WILL not go out of my way to make someone be in my kids lives,either you want to or you don’t.
My son is my husband’s parents first grandchild and his grannys first great child…yet they don’t reach out.
I tried when my son was an infant but always hearing excuses on why we cant come over,i gave up.
Pretty much neither of our parents are involved with our lives. My mom used to be,but then she went off the rails again and I rarely allow my daughter over that. She rarely checks in or calls my daughter anymore. I’m over the relationship as far as me and her go and I’m ok with that. She’s just not an involved grandparent anymore. We don’t see my dad often but he calls all of us frequently, even my daughter on our landlines phone lol. My husband’s parents have never really been around what so ever, so that just is what it is… they are all about his sisters kid though, which gets me in my feels if I think about it too much.
I’ve made a network of good friends that are more like family to me. The family that doesn’t come around or call are pretty toxic ppl also and me and my husband have been trying to break that generational curse, and tbh if those people were more involved it would mean more chaos in our lives. So I’m ok with it being the way it is…
Oh honey you are not the only one thank God for stepmoms!! Js
I have this problem with my fil… He’s astramged from his other 3 kids and 2 grandkids, we’re the only ones who still talk to him and he barely makes an effort to see my children or even text my partner to ask how they are. Its frustrating and I don’t understand it AT ALL!!!