Has anyone had experience with a child with behavioral problems, that refuses to do their school work or pay attention? My son just started Kindergarten, and everyday for a month, I’ve gotten a message or a letter that he’s in the floor, breaking crayons, acting out, and refusing to do his work in class. He doesn’t know his letters or numbers, and he can’t write his name or refuses to. His doctor said this behavior is normal for his age. I’m worried for his future and being behind. Any advice is appreciated!
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Following as I just signed the IEP form for my 4 year old
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I have a 16 year old like this 
Yup! My now 10 year old was exactly like that and wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD/ODD until she was 7. I had to fight our school district for 5 years just to be tested to see if she qualified for anything. The principal and guidance counselor kept saying “oh she’s fine the numbers are showing she is on track.” Come to find out last year that when she was tested her IQ is through the roof that was covering up a learning disability. She finally qualified for an IEP. She use to fight me to do homework so I gave up and started making the teachers deal with it and she would be grounded until she decided she wanted to do it again. But she would much rather face the consequences then do it. She got into a really great groove this year with some minor set backs, but it’s been going so much better at home thankfully. Good luck with your journey ahead! I would look into getting your son seen by a child psychiatrist. It’s helped my daughter tremendously!
There shouldn’t be mandated “work” to “sit down and get done” in Kindergarten!!!
They should be outside or playing indoors, not being required at that age to sit and focus on one activity or task only.
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Yes! We were very lucky we caught it early and got him early intervention. The earlier the better. You are his momma and you know him best. If his doctor isn’t listening to you find someone who will. Talk to the school and have someone come in to observe him. If his school won’t listen go to the superintendent. You will have to become his biggest advocate, it’s not easy, but it will be worth it. If you need any advice my inbox is open. Good luck Momma and stand your ground for your baby.
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We started noticing behaviors with my 9yo when he was around that age. He would still throw huge temper tantrums like a 2-3yo would. He’s almost 10 now, diagnosed adhd and goes to therapy. He’s very much my way or the highway, doesn’t like to lose anything, and does have the anger part of adhd.
Experienced this and it was the teacher and her approach at my child she and a couple others did not have the patience to teach or deal with my child … I got an IEP in place after begging but then only one teacher listened and helped with that … which I am thankful for … my child is now into a routine and doing well still some struggles but growing !!!
Change teachers if you done other things and can’t work with teacher. Sometimes it’s personality traits . Wish I had done it when my son was in frist grade.
My son was like this he ended up having ADHD, ODD and autism, I just had an IEP meeting for him today (he is now in first) and I was told by the director of the special needs program in my school district that in kindergarten they are learning to be students and sometimes they can be disruptive and loud ect, I would recommend finding a different doctor, i would also recommend talking to the school about possibly doing an evaluation for an IEP he may just need a little help getting used to school
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My son was like this in preschool and kindergarten. Turns out he has ADHD, ODD and is autistic. So he wasn’t acting out for just no reason. We got him on a IEP and he had in school counseling and extra one on one guidance and help and now hes in second grade and he’s doing amazing. He’s still behind on his reading because it’s hard for him to slow down and focus but he’s doing great. You and the school really have to work together on this or it won’t change.
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Do you take the opportunity to spend time alone with him every day!
My sons the same started school 3 weeks ago he teacher pulled me infront of every one yesterday said my sons got attitude I said he is 4 
he has been labbled already and this is what I was concerned about 
he is very sensitive caring but has a temper and has outbursts might first thoughts was he ain’t going back there but I gave her a few words and met with the head who now is gonna come up with a plan . It’s horrible knowing he is being judged and I then know he plays up to that
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Homeschool him. These teachers are stressed enough.
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Buy the book 123Magic in n amazing. It help a lot
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Kindergarten can be extremely overwhelming and overstimulating. I pulled my son from public school his first week and he thrives in homeschool. Some kids can handle public school settings, and others can’t. Now… let me add my son is special needs and the school was beating around the bush to get an IEP in place for him because their special education department is a joke and they didn’t want to tell me he would only be allowed 15 minutes of quiet time in the special ed classroom each day, and required to “behave” in general education the rest of the time. Every accommodation I tried to provide per their request was shot down without even trying to work with him.
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Cut out red 40 from his diet. U would be surprised at what a difference it makes.
Some kids just aren’t ready for full day kinder just yet. I had a student on my bus that more than half the time she was in the bus she was so out of control we had to pull over and Mom would come pick her up
I’m a substitute teacher, I’ve seen behavior like this before. My personal opinion they expect kids to do more work than them learning how to sit, and listen, and be a student. Kindergarten used to be fun, when my kids were in school it wasn’t so stressed to learn numbers, sight words ECT. It’s normal behavior in a lot of ways. Kids usually catch up around 7 years old something happens around then. Just try to go over not to break crayons. Maybe think about letting him home for kindergarten. Idk I know it’s not required in most states. But, is he full day or half? Maybe he needs a half day. I know kids who leave after lunch.
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Where I live they won’t even let them start Kindergarten until they can complete certain tasks. Writing your name is on the list. It’s not a teachers job to parent these children. It’s their job to teach. A lot of parents slack on their end, and use school like a baby sitter.
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It’s not a behavioral issue it’s a medical issue you haven’t worked out. Switch doctors asap and ask for an evaluation from the school.
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Ask the school if there’s any concerns around ASD, ADHD or Dyslexia
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Different opinion. If your son is a newly 5 year old. He might not be ready for kindergarten yet. Take him out and put him back in next year. Not all 5 year old are mentally ready.
Sounds like ADHD & ODD. Definitely get second opinions & see psychiatrist/psychologists & see if anyone can test him this young.
Make sure he gets tons of physical exercise outside of school. Trampolines are good, swimming, gymnastics/tumbling, running.
See if a stress ball, quiet poppers or fidget spinners can help him concentrate. Practice how to behave at home in 5-minute blocks.
Find an artistic outlet. He may be very creative. Dance is good because it gets him moving—hip-hop, Irish, African, some modern, line dancing are all high energy. Ballet is too rigid & static.
Kids yoga, Tai chi or other moving meditation helps to calm the mind and body. I love this one; you can do 3 movements per day until you learn them all. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ONjHjM4puGY
See if his teacher can ask him to do active tasks during class (pass out or collect papers, erase the board, etc.). Would it be OK with the school to have one of those foot cycles under his desk to use to blow off enough steam so he can concentrate better?
Try removing food dyes from his diet. Especially red dye.
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Is this how he acts at home? He may be upset because he is behind. Most kids know how to do the things you stated before they go to kindergarten. Change doctors cuz that’s not normal behavior.
I got 2 kids one diagnostic with 4 issues and one undiagnosed with ADHD or more
I’d have him tested for adhd. I have a 11 yr old that has a chromosome disorder behavior is one of her biggest issues n she’s adhd n she has a very short attention span she fights with us about everything from taking a bath to homework or chores she very hyper can’t stay in one spot or do one thing very long she has an iep she at times will refuse to do her school work also
Sounds like your kid might be adhd.
Go to a different doctor. Also your kid isn’t doing these things to simply be defiant.
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This is what covid did to our babies. Those 3 years were hard on developing minds especially babies who didn’t get human contact like normal
Most pediatricians want to say it’s their “age”. Keep all of the documents from the teacher and show them to the doctor. Also if your insurance is a ppo plan just call and ask them for whoever is network to have evaluated.
Find a new doctor because that is not normal behavior my son hated kindergarten told his kindergarten teacher every single day that he would rather be at home because he learned more there lol and constantly acted out in class… I had to switch doctors twice before I could get anybody to listen to me and stop telling me that he was behaving normally for his age finally 4 years later when he was 9 he was diagnosed with ADHD. He’s a grown man now and doing very well for himself. once he got the help he needed grades went up ,attitude and behavior started to change because we finally knew what we were dealing with and able to find the resources and help he needed to do better and be successful not just in school but in every environment.
He should be texted to see if he has any mental illness like ADHD as soon as possible.
Go to a behavioral pediatrician.
My 1st grader right now. 
I don’t know what to do about it. He loves to learn but he hates school with a passion and will flat out refuse work and participate in class. He can write and read most words but doesn’t want to do his work but he is passing his tests they give him and idk how. 
My son has ADHD and the teacher and I where worried he was going to have a hard time this year being that he wouldn’t be allowed to take his naps as last year with pre k. He was overwhelmed at times. But the only complaint I was notified about this year was he was flipping kids off at the playground the teacher approached it with my son daily and helped me work with him. His doing great following rules and being around others. I’m great full the teacher, principal, nurse and counselor are supportive helped allot - with my kids at school. So far no other complaints but as a mom the way our kids act or do things are reflection of us. Had to learn to of ways that would help my sons - to address the problem not happening again. Hardest part of being a parent is we can’t make choices for our kids and teaching our kids to understand this their will be consequences for their actions and choices. - I have my oldest who gets on peoples radar and use to cause some type of chaos. So I had to figure out what would benefit and help my son with a better support method and approach of why he his character was disrespectful. Had to get more involved with communicating and found resources.
My daughter did the same thing. But she had separation anxiety. She thought of she did it she would just get to come home and be with mom. Teach him how to express himself in other way. Explain to him that the way he’s doing it isn’t ok. Also give consequences like not playing with toys or watching TV after school. And also get letters and shapes an numbers from the dollar tree tape them to your living room wall and make a game out of learning.
My son just started kindergarten as well and he’s been in the “safe room” at least once every day for hitting, kicking, running out of the classroom, and even but the para. He is currently being diagnosed for ADHD and ODD. Look into play or are therapy and have a full physical done on him. We just found out yesterday that my son needs hearing aides and that it could be part of his speech and behavior issues
My daddy had a kid with behavioral issues but that belt took care of that real quick
Ma’am give him time to adjust,all you can do is Show him Love and Encouragement
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Yeah from age five to 11 my son was terrible had iep Para and still was very difficult more days than not. He’s autism and anxiety. Anxiety poses as rage in young kids and school work gave him anxiety. He hit puberty and mellowed out a ton did high school very well no major issues and is in college now. He has his own room but he’s doing all his work.
I feel you! My five year old was suspended from Kindergarten yesterday! He can’t seem to keep his hands and feet to himself. He is hurting kids and adults. He’s always been a bit rambunctious but never this aggressive. The school has been wonderful and pretty sure it’s because he’s a bit immature and probably not ready for kindergarten but are adamant they will get him ready. They had a behavior specialist observe him and starting today, his day is being reduced to half day to see if it helps him to adjust. The school’s psychologist and other professionals should be getting involved to see what kinds of supports your child needs, even if temporary to help them work through such a big transition in their life.
i suggest cutting out all dyes from his diet.
My youngest has ODD and ADHD I started noticing her behaviors progressively getting worse especially when she started school. She’s in therapy and also has a 504 plan through the school to help her so she stays on task and gets her work done. It’s definitely a struggle on a lot of days especially when she refuses to take her meds.
My son is in kindergarten. He was dx with ADHD and anxiety about a year ago. Meds have helped. Not all problems have gone away, but he’s working with a therapist to help.
I was like that I have ADHD I took me until like 4th or 5th grade to really care about school my 7 year old I noticed young like 3 that he had autism talk to his doc for him diagnosed and started therapy he was in therapy up until he started school and were in first grade now and I home school
No, it’s not normal and I’d be changing Pediatrician’s - that’s signs of ADD/ADHD and/or ODD (mayhap sensory or other). I would know considering I have gone through very similar with both of my boys and STILL am. It’s a very frustrating road but I’m willing to do almost all that I can to try and help them because I’ve been there with myself when I was their age - be strong, momma!
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How much exercise/stimulation is he getting before school? Almost everyday before school I took my son to the park, or we did exercises. Made ALL the difference! At 5, he has energy to burn, especially after sleeping. Then kids are expected to sit in class? Doesn’t work. Also, you can try a bit of coffee. If he is ADHD/ADD, coffee tends to help with focus.
You need to work with him at home. Structured learning time at home helps to ease them into school. Tbh, it is probably quite uncomfortable for him if he is behind the other kids. By the time my kids went to school they knew their letters and numbers and they had positive experiences. Add that to being away from Mom and with all new ppl and it can be very difficult to adjust. If he doesn’t act like that at home, I doubt there is a medical issue behind it. Give him time, work with him at home and I think you will see positive changes. Best of luck 
Try working with him at home too and maybe it’ll help him adjust without being so overwhelmed.
No judgement here at all but was there not a screening prior to entering Kindergarten?? If he does not know the typical things a kindergartener should know (counting, abc’s, writing his full name) he is not ready to be there. That could be very overwhelming and stressful for him possibly contributing to the behavior. I would seek out a professional to get the help and support he needs. Best of luck to you.
Start his day out with a good breakfast - eggs, bacon, etc., and NO sugary cereal.
Do you work? He may be angry that you leave him every day. Children do not have words to express what is going on in their hearts …
Have your child see a developmental behavioral specialist and get tested for add, adhd, odd, anxiety, etc. Mt daughter has had the same issues and she was recently diagnosed with add I think. She is taking meds to help and it has been a night and day difference.
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Maybe you started him to school too young?? And do you discipline him at home for bad behavior?
If you live in the US get a referral from his pediatrician and contact the county you live in. In most states your child is entitled to free services from the county. That will also get you an IEP and get the ball rolling for other services as well. My son is 5 and adhd. He was pretty much kicked out of his private school for his disruptive behaviors. The principal knew we were 5 observations away from getting him an aide for the classroom abs still wouldn’t let him attend the first 4 weeks of school without it. We officially have the aide as of tomorrow (unfortunately our school district doesn’t allow outside providers as they have their own so we’re working on getting him a referral for a non resident to be in the neighboring school district). We’re not welcome back at the private school after the email I sent the principal but that’s fine cause I don’t want my kid to be where he’s not wanted.
But contact your county (if you live in the states) you’re entitled to free services. They also have resources and the teachers I have found are more than willing to help your child get the services he’ll need. Good luck mama. It’s a hard and exhausting road but it’ll be worth it!
My son started doing that in kindergarten as well, he was diagnosed Autistic with ADHD and ODD a couple of months later. We still have trouble with homework
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Just so you know schools are a bit over the top with expectations of kids , they insist if they don’t behave perfectly , there’s something wrong with them , it may be a maturity thing. It . Schools are quick to want to medicate , do not allow it , all children learn differently. He may have some special needs , let your doctor be the judge, not the school , I went thru this crap for 13 years with my son . The schools answer is always medicate, so they don’t have to do their job, maybe he needs a smaller class room. , Tell the school to suck it up
A change in diet can help with some behavioral issues. Cutting out all artificial dyes
Sounds like he is frustrated and upset because he is lost. Kids are taught abcs and 123s in prek/headstart and are required to know along with other stuff by kindergarten. How old is he? I would take him out of kindergarten and enroll him in prek/headstart. If he is too old for prek/hs, then home schooling is an option or even a daycare with an accredited head start program. When my daughter was in kindergarten (public school-usa)10 yrs ago she was required to know her alphabet, count to 10, recognize basic colors and shapes. They were preparing her in kindergarten for 1st grade by sounding out words and putting them together and learning how to write abcs, 1-20, copying and tracing basic sounds (ch,sh,kr,etc) and simple words so she was set to learn how to read books and write full sentences along with other stuff. Schools are nothing like they used to be 20 to 30ish yrs ago when us parents were in school. If our kids don’t take headstart and/or prek, which is a requirement in alot of us states, they are so lost being thrown straight into kindergarten expecting to know all this stuff already. Id throw fits too out of frustration. And then throw on top of that fact, kids this age are not emotionally developed enough yet to fully understand feeling or how to express them.
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Don’t let the pediatrician blow it off as “it’s normal for his age” or “it’s just a phase”. I struggled for awhile bc I didn’t know what was going on with my daughter and those were the answers I kept getting. She did end up with a diagnosis of adhd/anxiety.
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My daughter is 6 and been doing this, she’s being assessed for adhd and autism
Sounds like he may have adhd
My son is 9 and has this issue. He has ADHD and severe anger that stems from it. ODD & sensory processing. Very very hard to deal with as a mama 
see how first grade goes…if you still think something is up, take him to a psychologist, they have the capability to determine what may be going on.
Sounds like he has autism
Talk to your family doctor. This could be many things, from just normal kid “this is new and I don’t like it” to “this could be a symptom of something”, such as ODD, ADHD, autism, etc. I’m definitely not saying that’s what’s happening, but it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional and get some testing done. And lots of doctors will say shit is normal so force them to listen to you and push for any and all testing. Tell them you want them to put on your child’s record that they’re refusing testing if you want it and they say no. I honestly wish I had done that with my son earlier when everyone kept telling me he didn’t need it, despite my asking for it. My nephew was very similar, he actually got suspended from kindergarten. After some push, his doctors started testing him. They diagnosed him with ODD and he started working with a therapist and that worked well for a while (one thing she said, give the child options instead of just telling them to do something. "You can keep doing xx and end up with [punishment] or you can stop doing xx and instead go do [other activity] ). Recently he started working with someone else who said, actually no, he has autism. Anyways, talk to professionals, get more than one opinion, make sure they’re listening to you and good luck 
it could be nothing, it could be something. What’s important is that you’re trying to figure it out now instead of brushing it off you got this!
Why is it that children in the 50’s were not labeled? What’s going on?
If the behavior is normal, why would the teacher, who has a room full of children that age, call your attention to it. Change doctors.
Do some research on children with all of these behavioral issues and heavy metals in their bodies.
I would definitely get your son in to be looked at. Not all kids are like that. It’s not normal behavior.
As a Social Worker working in foster care. I see it every day. Take him to the doctor. Get a referral for a CCA and psychological evaluation. Follow diagnosis and recommendations. They will give you referrals for medication management as well.
Been there — done that. I have several special needs kid ( not biologically mine) that exhibit the same behaviors…stay calm… Have the Child Study Team at school evaluate him and. If your pediatrician isn’t helpful …find another that is familiar with behavioral issues. Patience is the key…it isn’t his fault that he acts out,and he can be helped
When my son was 4 ½ he was diagnosed with ADHD. I bought him to a pediatric developmental-behavioral specialist. They do test and get to know the kids before putting them on meds. (My son got meds at 4 ½)
Any questions you can reach out to me
Good luck