My husband switches jobs alot. He will start a job, love it then in 6 months be totally burned out and miserable. We can’t ever take a family vacation because he doesn’t stay somewhere long enough to build up any leave before moving on. He’s been out of the Navy 5 years and has had probably 20 jobs since. It’s stressful because I don’t make enough alone to cover our bills I feel like we are never going to be able to actually build a financially secure life together. My anxiety is always through the roof because of impeding doom of financial distress.
96 Likes
See if there are any transitioning resources for people like him through the Navy itself. It can be hard to transition out of a very structured environment and be back in the “real world” dealing with “real world problems”. I would also suggest maybe some marriage counseling and also some separate counseling for both of you to work out your feelings. It’s possible he just needs some type of guidance and having someone to talk to about it that isn’t you can be helpful. We always want to be the person our spouse comes to but sometimes it just is better to have an outside source to vent to vs bringing all that stress on your spouse.
21 Likes
My husband use to work seasonal construction and it was very stressful because a lot of times he couldn’t find work in the winter I waited tables so I made ends meet once our oldest was 2.5 he found a long-term job and he ended up leaving it over the summer do to poor work environment and wanted to go back to running equipment so he has a long-term job that he loves.
It takes time to know what jobs going to be the best for you maybe he feels like he needs something new all the time because he might be getting depression with the same routine.
I think you need to sit down with him and talk about why he does this how it’s effecting yalls family and what you guys need to do going forward
1 Like
My husband has been out of the Army for 13 year and just now found something he stayed at. For now.
Sounds like he misses the Navy 
My first husband was the same way after he left the Navy.
My husband is ex military too. He’s had multiple jobs as well. It’s stressful for them. Too many people, too much noise. Ask if he’s up to a home job
PTSD or not being able to adjust to the normal world. He needs help bless him
Just be glad that he works at all. Maybe he could go to school on the GI bill and find something that he really likes. Have you even asked him why he switches jobs all the time?
He needs the structure the navy gave him. Or the type of job he had in the Navy . If you live near a naval base. He can be hired as a civilian. My cousin served 20 years in the Navy on a sub submarine. When it got decommissioned he worked for them at Groton Naval base . He retired and kept the same job he had at the base
Does he potentially have social anxiety or issues concerning being around a lot of people. He can see a VA doctor and possibly get partial disability if it is proven to be stemming from his time in the service.
2 Likes
I do this and it’s because I have ADHD. Once I have a job down and it becomes easy and monotonous I get bored and want to go somewhere else even if it’s the same company but a different position. Maybe talk to him about why he thinks he’s doing it. If he has other jobs lined up I don’t really see the issue aside from vacations and you could just plan those when he’s feeling the itch to leave the job he’s at and he can take time off in between.
If he didn’t do enough years to retire, and is young enough, he should go back in.
2 Likes
Been there many years ago . He eventually left and we divorced. I worked after that and had so little money but at least I knew where I stood. I got VERY little child support because he quit his job right before court . I made it and all my kids turned out great . He still has no job at age 58 . He changed jobs 11 times in 11 years of marriage . It was not easy ! Prayers for you !
14 Likes
Maybe there’s something he can do thru the Navy for work
My ex fiancé did this and it resulted in us being evicted from every place we rented and constantly struggling to pay the bills we had 5 kids I worked part time as a home health aide so we wouldn’t have to pay a fortune for child care. Ask him what kinda career he’s really passionate about. Maybe he just needs to find something he’s passionate about enough to not leave it after 6mos
Tell him to check out the oilfield. Hard work and a man’s world. That’s probably what part of the issue is. He misses the bond and brotherhood that the military provided.
6 Likes
You need to have stability in your life. He should keep a job till something better is available to provide that.
Does he miss the structure of being in the military. He may need to determine what he’s good at and what he really loves regardless of what it pays.
16 Likes
Have him do a career assessment online. It will suggest what he will like and be good at. There are several free ones. Maybe he can find a permanent career.
5 Likes
Tell him Work is Work . Get a job and stick with it
Tell him to look into plumbing
Maybe he needs to return to the military, do his 20 and retire. Then he has retirement income and can bounce from job to job without it hurting so much.
17 Likes
No my husband worked for 1 place for 10 years and has been at his now job for 11 years has made supervisor and loves his job we have 401k benefits and for where we live he makes good money I can’t imagine being on a financial roller coaster like this your right to have anxiety look at the rate of the world now we have always had 2 incomes until I got cancer 3 years ago now we are a 1 income house but we still have the same bills to pay as we had with 2 incomes and knowing what you have coming In helps to be able to make a budget for that vacation but he needs to find a job and stay
1 Like
Not my husband…but me.
I have ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed with it until I was 28.
I’ve been like this nearly my whole life and for me it’s hard to explain.
Sometimes it’s a simple burn-out.
My last job was emotionally draining and after about a year I was just burnt out.
I dreaded every day.
Sometimes it’s boredom, doing the same exact thing every single day.
Sometimes it’s the work culture that ends up making me feel super anxious. Too judgey too rigid not rigid enough.
It’s like Goldilocks but with jobs instead of beds.
I currently work in a kitchen and I’m pretty happy where I’m at right now.
It’s fast paced, some things are always the same while some things change.
I like my coworkers and my boss is family-oriented.
I’m also going back to school.
Mine does this, but it is because he is a mechanic and employers often lie about what you will be paid.
1 Like
I also lived like that till I couldn’t take it anymore. For mine it was just an excuse he really didn’t want to work wenton for years till I divorced him.
4 Likes
Sign him back up for the Navy. LoL
My husband was like this for a while. Like every 6 months. Until last year he finally found something he liked. He has been there almost a year now.
Mine does this. In the 3 years we’ve been together, he’s had like 26 jobs. I will say that he always makes sure that he has a job lined up before quitting his current position so I’m thankful for that, but it is incredibly stressful for me too. Always having to rearrange my life to accommodate the changes that come with him changing his job. My hubs honestly would benefit from adhd medication but refuses to take anything.
5 Likes
Does he have adhd or something similar? This can be common in people who do. If so, it may help for him to speak to someone about that, but honestly, finding a job that he actually enjoys could be enough for him to stick around. If it’s something like depression, that’s a little different, but it would probably still help to speak to someone about it. I’d just talk to him about your concerns and why he feels he’s struggling to stick with one.
2 Likes
Adhd, ptsd perhaps? Not good with no structure? Could be a few things but something you’re going to have to talk to him about like you have here, discuss the long term prospects and goals and how to do that together. Ask him what it is he actually wants to do long term and such.
2 Likes
Don’t have any military background but me and my dad (he passed away a while ago) were/are both like this I think due to anxiety. Is it like completely different jobs or is it the same job just different companies? I am kinda like this and so was my dad but I’ll do a year or two at a place then want to leave (I’m a nurse ) but I’ll do sign on bonuses then when that’s up leave. Same job just different places I think my personality is big and I ca only handle places for shorter times because it stresses me out. My mom said my dad was the same way he was an accountant so they didn’t stress about the money as much. He would keep the same job for a couple years then find a reason to leave.
1 Like
My ex husband did this until he forced me to leave. Guess who has had a steady job since his work horse left him to sort out his own stuff? Yup, but even better I got to take care of just me for awhile and then some guy who super liked me on Tinder end of December 2017 convinced me to meet in person. Fell madly in love. Instant family since his ex left him for someone else and they had 3 kids. We’ve been together since, gotten married, 2 babies together so 5 wonderful kids total, and bought a new house together as in no one has lived in it before. Needless to say life got soooo much better without the dead weight of an adult who refuses to help themselves. My now husband would literally lose it if he felt like I wasn’t taken care of. He even made sure I could do IVF for my babies that I finally got to have and has insisted I be with them for the first few years and then I can decide if I want to go back to work. He also gives me all of the money so I never feel financially trapped. Men like that exist and they’re wonderful. Never felt loved until he came swiping into my life and I am so glad life brought me here.
I married a traveling contractor. I didn’t realize this but…His job is literally to find a new job. Every job he’s done. It’s done. Nothing left to fix. Off to find the next job and something new to fix. It’s stressful but after 12 years 4 kids and renovation projects in our own home on-top of his job. You make it work. We may not be rich… we may even be less then poor lmao but I don’t think of it that way we’re happy and that’s all matters. Yolo.
2 Likes
My ex is one of my best friends and he just got out the army last year. He’s almost at a year at his job and he’s about to quit. He hates it. He’s not a quitter whatsoever. He’s persistent at everything he does.
I really think it’s the transition for him because they are institutionalized. Suggest him going back in or working on a base in that environment. Suggest him finding a job close to what he used to do in the navy. My ex used to be supply in the army and his civilian job deals with kinda the same but with money instead.
Then you need to sit him down and tell him that he isn’t being fair to the family or you by putting you at financial risk and by putting the majority of the financials on you. That the two of you are partners and he needs to step up and be a partner. Sometimes you have to do jobs that we don’t like bc it pays the bills. Maybe he should go back to the military in some form. Active, national guard, contractor, etc.
If he refuses to step up then I’m sorry but you need to protect yourself and the kids and separate/divorce.Every single woman I personally know in this type of situation came out better on the other side. Even when they don’t pay support. That anxiety that your feeling by the way… the kids are picking up on that too.
4 Likes
I do this. I’m diagnosed with ADHD
You’d be surprised how many ppl actually do this
CDL’S… job security… never the same … freedom and many options to choose from
1 Like
Sounds like he is struggling with his mental health and needs to seek help
2 Likes
He probably perfects everything and then gets bored. I get that so much. These places don’t want career people anymore. So, once you master everything and you still are making the same money and get offered no promotion or incentive, people lose motivation to stay. Places used to hire and expect you to stay 30 years and retire. Now, places do not want that bc they’d rather keep bringing in lowest paid newbies than appreciate and compensate employees for great, loyal work. It’s cheaper to have turnovers than a bunch of retirees on pensions.
21 Likes
Mine use to do that, he finally started his own company doing what he really enjoys. He’s going on 15 years, no issues since.
If we don’t love or enjoy what we do, we won’t last doing it.
My husband does the same thing. If he makes it with an employer 1yr before quitting I celebrate him, lol
He rarely leaves a job before having another so I don’t sweat it. He usually goes up in pay too so it’s hard to complain.
I hate “family vacations” anyway. I ALWAYS need a vacation from the vacation. It’s expensive, exhausting, and stressful. Last two years I refuse to go anywhere that isn’t within an hour’s drive of home with the kids. Mucho better
7 Likes
Advise him to re-up in the navy.
Maybe the same line of work he did in the military?
Is he undiagnosed with adhd or Neurodiversity? This is a common flag. My history is similar 6-8m at jobs and then I get burnt out recently medicated and the difference is insane 
2 Likes
He probably has ptsd, my veteran when he came back from war we had to pickup and move every year for several years…that part did calm down and he still struggles with the constant job flipping because of his ptsd
My very unprofessional advice. I have many in my family that are current and ex military. Has he been checked out by the VA. A part of me says it could be PTSD. It takes many forms. Was he this way before he joined the military. And no matter how he is now I thank him for his service. Military life is difficult for the servicemen and servicewomen plus their families. Praying for all of you
7 Likes
That’s 90% of normal life for ex military. Pull up your boots straps and take your vows seriously. For richer or for poor. Marriage takes a lot of sacrifice on both parts. Communicate how you feel if he doesn’t reciprocate or help out then part ways.
Mine the same he don’t want to work hes so miserable all the time as in his words I’m forcing him to work when he don’t want to.i work full time but it’s not enough for him to not work
I know someone like that, and it’s true, at the 6mo mark something always happens. 
the only thing that’s redeeming that dude is that he is a great sales person and buys things to re sale and actually makes money off it, so he doesn’t go without, it’s just maddening for his girl.
Does he maybe have ADHD or depression or something along those lines? I have ADHD and I change jobs a LOT
1 Like
This is common with veterans, he needs to get help from the VA or related source.
Has he filed for his veteran disability?
The inability to stay with a job is often a sign of a neuro diverse condition. You might talk to a Dr about this, if he won’t.
4 Likes
Perhaps he would feel more rewarded recruiting for the navy.
Being dumped into the civilian world after you’ve been given all this responsibility to handle millions of dollars worth of equipment and being in charge of so much, is really hard. He’ll bounce around until he finds something that fills that void. The military fails our vets so much and they just dump them into the street when they get out.
17 Likes
That’s ADHD it sounds like. I change jobs a lot too. I’m also chronically depressed with anxiety and coming from military that’s a good chance that’s what’s going on. He needs a job that he’s doing different things a lot. Not just the same crap over and over. With ADHD you get bored and with depression you get the immediate want to quit something that you’re dreading to make yourself have some relief. It is a battle with me for sure.
Its hard for someone in the armed forces
To be able to get used to not having a regimental way of life
This can take years to overcome
A lot of wives and husbands of ex servos experience this
I recommend finding a support page
For spouses of ex servos
I do understand how you feel as I’ve been there myself
As for family vacations
Look at things that are budget friendly such as camping trips
They are great family trips and full of memories that will live on for ever
That your kids will share with their kids
I get that you want to be financially secure, we all want that
But with the world’s economy the way it is
For a lot of us it’s a pipe dream
For instance here in Australia a lot of couples are both working good jobs
That can hardly afford to pay rent and mortgage prices
Not to mention the cost of living
I would look into seeing a free finacal counciler
Who can help you manage your finances
It’s because he’s struggling to adapt to civilian life. If you haven’t been in his shoes you won’t understand. Even as a spouse you won’t understand.
7 Likes
Sounds like someone is in it for the wrong reasons… 
Mine changes jobs every couple years. Gets either fired or rage quits like it’s a freaking game.
Does he have undiagnosed add adhd possibly
Anxiety/Adhd etc. Tell him to get therapy and sign back up for the military.
Has he checked USAjobs.com he’s probably missing the comrade and the structure. Husband and I both served and struggled with civilian jobs for a while until my husband found a federal job he liked and enjoyed with other veteran co workers. I do odd jobs myself but I’m also a stay at home mom. I manage horse barns and I’m a hair assistant for wedding jobs and gigs and I homeschool our kids. My husband now works in water filtration and is going back to reserves or guard again soon because he misses it. It’s not uncommon or unheard of what he’s doing or going through
Honestly sounds like ADHD, 
I am in the same boat as you
Take vacation while he’s between jobs. I mean he quits all the time, save the money and just plan for his to quit at a certain time.
Also maybe he is A.D.H.D. have him get checked and possibly medication
I feel I do the same. I’m 25 and a medical assistant. I worked my first job as a medical assistant for a year and a half, my last job a year exactly, and I have a new job and I’ve worked there since August. I find it hard to go to any job I start because of my anxiety. It’ll be okay in the beginning, but then I feel I can’t physically make myself go anymore and I think I convince myself that it’s the job making my anxiety worse and I leave to find something else. Then it starts again. It’s a viscous cycle 
2 Likes
Maybe you should go back to school and get something you can be financially stable alone. That way if things end bad or he decides to quit a job you will not have to worry financially.
This perfectly describes my ex brother in law- who is probably autistic and has ADHD. Your husband needs to probably see a psychiatrist
This sounds kind of like ptsd… just from dealing with what I’ve dealt with with my husband, the military can really fuck with people, and then they just get thrown back to civilian life and a lot of them struggle with it… and then their spouses don’t know how to deal with it or help them, and then they feel even more alone and isolated, and that’s a big part of why so many veterans choose “the easy way out” and commit suicide, because no one was there that actually seemed to care… this is literally what my husband told me, up until we got together and now we’ve been together and going strong for 6 years. We fought for him to get disability for almost 4 years, he just got approved for it, and now I’m not the only one bringing in income… it’s definitely not been easy, but I wasn’t going to let him down, our vows are through sickness and health, richer or poorer…
This reminds me of my cousin’s husband. He can’t keep a job and my cousin worked her butt off to support her family and take care of their kids. I’m so sorry you’re going through that. But he is not settin a good example for his kids. My cousin’s fil was like then he passed it down to his son and now my cousins kids are doing exactly the same thing