So I’ve been married over 30 years… My other half has cheated a few times . I’ve not actually caught him doing this but evidence has been shown… But now he has cheated again and I’ve actually caught him . So now I’ve ended it . So why do I feel upset and stressed… I’m happy as hell one day then down and sad the next… My family is grown up.he is not in the family home now… .our home is my families home so I don’t have to leave… But I keep feeling low…
315 Likes
Your healing path has started 
4 Likes
It’s just the natural grieving process. Even though he’s a bastard that’s still a lot of time you spent with him. That’s still a lot of your years he wasted. That’s still a lot of love and effort you spent. You’re totally normal.
It takes time. But it’s better than living with a cheater. Heal.
5 Likes
That’s completely normal and completely understandable. You are supposed to be able to trust who you Marry and you can not.
1 Like
Your grieving. It’s normal. Just takes time. Sometimes talking to someone helps
2 Likes
Because you’ve spent the past 30 years with him daily. Your life had him in it daily and everything you did involved him. It’s going to take time to get used to this new life you need to make, without him in it. Go make new memories so it can help with those old ones. Hugzz
8 Likes
Just move on. God maybe will give u path that u never thought u deserve…
your feelings are normal, dont worry, it will pass in time, 30 yrs is a long time, those feelings dont just go away over night even if he cheated… glad your free from that kind of disrespect. big hugs
3 Likes
You are healing, it’s part if the process.
1 Like
Because even though he’s a cheater, he was your person for 30 years, still a grieving process to be had. Look up the stages of grief.
3 Likes
Because it’s a change in routine and you mourn the good time and memeories? Just a apart of the healing process there are steps kind of like grieving even though he has hurt you, you shared 30 yrs it’s hard to forget that… It’s gonna be a long process but you stay strong. Your not wrong at all and these feelings are normal.
1 Like
Even though it didn’t end on good terms, you’re still gonna miss him at some point. You’re missing the normalcy of what your life used to be. This is a new beginning, it’s normal to have these feelings.
2 Likes
Your grieving what you have lost. Just because it was the right thing to do doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and that your not missing what was familiar and likely sometimes good. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss.
3 Likes
It’s a process. You are riding it. Work out your feelings and plan for your dreams.
Missing the good memories and being upset and stressed is all part of the healing process and moving on love!
Stay on your path!
You deserve to find yourself all over again.
One step and a time.
1 Like
First of all, I’m really sorry that he’s done this to your soul. It takes a long time to become you again, one day you’ll wake up and you won’t feel anything anymore towards him. Be easy on yourself. Much love🌼
2 Likes
It will be ok. You can do it. Don’t let him come back. Cheaters never stop. It feels like a roller coaster ride but it will get better.
5 Likes
30 years is a long time. You dedicated your life to one person whom has never valued you. I’ll bet he is going to have a hard life.
3 Likes
It’s normal… you spent your life with him. More then half your life I’m guessing? Had babies, grand babies? All those memories and life spent… you may always feel a little sad, but you’ll feel better. It will get better, it will get easier.
3 Likes
You’re grieving, and this is a normal part of the process. You were married over 30 years. Even though you’re in a better place now, you’re still facing a loss.
At times you’ll feel relieved, sad, angry, in denial of how things were, and at peace with how things are. Reach out to friends and family for support. Join a hobby group or something. Get out of the house as much as possible. And, yes, it’s all normal.
5 Likes
30 years is a long time, it’ll take a little bit
1 Like
You will feel better as time goes by. It always hurts to end a relationship no matter the time frame. I know it’s hard but concentrate on the future and don’t think too much about the past. No one should live with a cheater. That’s the worst pain. Good luck to you.
1 Like
You’re grieving a loss. It’s completely normal. I’m proud of you for being true to yourself and taking this step.
5 Likes
That’s normal to feel that way! It will hurt for a while. Just cause you did what was right doesn’t make it easy
1 Like
You’ve given this man alot of ur life even tho it done with him your still going to grieve the life u had and change is hard for anyone especially something like this…be strong and some days happy will turn into everyday…in the meantime keep busy and of u can don’t be alone all day everyday, the more your alone the more your brain will overthink
1 Like
Wow, I just went through similar circumstances and just want to thank you all for such great advice and positivity 
1 Like
You’re mourning the loss of the relationship and constant companionship. It’s okay. What is not okay though is letting him back into your life. You deserve true happiness and you will find that once you’re fully able to let the relationship go. He’s an idiot, he really lost a good person. You’ve probably been ignoring your gut for so long and now it’s finally so freeing to be you. Good job on moving forward but yes treat this as if a loved one has died because in a way, he has. He’s never going to be the person you originally fell in love with and you are better than him. Cheaters & Liars all deserve what they get.
1 Like
Its ok to grieve the loss of something even though moving on is what’s best. Totally normal to be upset and deal with ups and downs. One day at a time.
2 Likes
You deserve better! Once a cheater always a cheater!
You’ll have good and bad days . Highs and lows . I can promise they get fewer and fewer. Especially if he’s not in your day to day life You’ll stop thinking about him constantly and then you realize it’s been days since you’ve been down . And when you think about that. It doesn’t even bring you down . Cause your healing
Keep strong hun . 
you got this
I am sorry for the pain you’ve been through but you broke the cycle 
it’s OK to mourn… he broke your heart done feel bad about feeling bad . It takes time to heal
1 Like
You have probably waited on him hand and foot.Let youself relax. Go on a cruis with some friends.
Same here, sweetie. My heart goes out to you. My ex not only cheated but was an abusive drunk. I stool in for almost 30 yrs like you. Finally, kids were grown on their own… I was done, but he stole everything from under me. Thank God I had my kids, my parents and great friends. They all supported me and helped me emotionally get back to a good life. Met up with the guy next door( who grew up - we were both divorced) at this time. He is everything any woman could wish for. Have faith. Heal yourself, find yourself and you will have the best life ever. Heal within yourself. Hugs, dear lady
4 Likes
Seperation or divorce is like death .you have to go through the stages .
4 Likes
Ups & downs happen. Keep yourself busy and know that he doesn’t deserve you.
I vowed to myself that I never wanted to be that unhappy again
1 Like
You miss what it “shoulda been” not what it was. You miss the man you wish he had been, but wasn’t. Move on and fine someone to fill the shoes of the man you WANT, and deserve.
7 Likes
I’m so sorry I feel your pain. Honestly probably be best leaving that home you’d feel a lot better coming from the same situation. 
Fill the void…join yoga, start walking join the gym. Get out meet some folks keep busy. Go to therapy. Sell your house travel buy a condo. Your free…
1 Like
It’s normal and will pass with time. Counselling helps. Sorry your going through this
It’ll be like that until you’re healed. You’re grieving. Give yourself time. Everything you’re feeling is normal.
1 Like
Yeah, of course what your feeling is normal. You had pure intentions… he didn’t. It’s normal for the loyal loving one to feel shitty about things ending. His loss for sure. Keep your head up beautiful. No one deserves that toxic shit. Find someone who will love you and only you
You’ve spent most of your lives together. You lived with him longer than you did your parents. It’s perfectly normal to miss him, be sad over a chapter closing
1 Like
You’re grieving a 30 year loss. You’re full of all the emotions I’m sure. That’s a heck of a lot to unpack. You’ll get through this. Allow yourself the grace to feel it all.
2 Likes
Mourning is not unusual in a broken relationship, time is what you need. Hang in there
Your feelings are very normal
You gave yourself trusted and made a life with someone for 30 years who abused this trust . You need to give youref time to mourn, right to be angry and just let all your emotions come out to heal. It’s all completely normal.
1 Like
It’s like smoking, a habit one can break and because you are off and on on the way to doing it.
After 30 years is absolutely normal to feel that way , in my opinion the fact that you caught him this time was more painful than the others time .
You will feel like that for a while while you get adjusted to your new life as a single woman . You should start doing stuff for yourself, get a make over , practice some of your hobbies, go on vacations, find places to hang out with people around your age .etc
1 Like
You may feel this way because even through all of the hardships you endured through this relationship it is still a loss. This is someone you shared so much of your life with that it would be impossible not to feel grief. It will get better day by day, sending you so much love.
1 Like
Your still grieving a loss, but acknowledge the loss is of a dream. He will not change he’s proven that already. You’ll be ok, one foot in front of the other.
2 Likes
Because he fucking betrayed you horribly is why you feel like shit, you trusted him and married him and he was a goddam piece of shit!
Lying repeatedly to your face and now your world has fallen apart! That is fucking why!
A habit I guess, you’ve been with him for a long time. Of course you’d feel like this, it’s normal.
Get out and find a hobby. Join a book club. Or a cooking class. Find a place to meet people. You will be better without him when you can move on. Prayers for you
2 Likes
You’re grieving, a range of emotions is normal. 30 years with someone is a lot of time. I’m sure there’s good memories mixed in with the bad. It’s a lot to unpack but you’re moving forward and you will heal with time. Hang in there!
2 Likes
Because you’re grieving 30 years of your life and the way it should have been. You did the right thing. You deserve better.
1 Like
Yes it’s very normal to feel down. Don’t be so hard on yourself . Please don’t let this separation make you feel low . You didn’t do anything to destroy your relationship .Focus on yourself.Live .Enjoy life
1 Like
Because you finally have proof. You probably just kept lying to yourself before, now you have concrete evidence. You’re grieving, you’re going to feel so many emotions… that’s normal now.
2 Likes
Get counseling, eat healthy (honestly it does help some), get some fresh air, exercise, and then focus on something you like (cook if you like to cook, read, color, spa day…)
You are grieving the relationship. It’s normal. Give yourself some time. You will be ok and don’t take that cheater back.
2 Likes
It is just like grief. There will be stages and some days are better than others, but we only live one life and you’ve done the right thing! Once a cheater always a cheater and the longer you stay the more they feel its acceptable. You’ve got this!!!
Honey it’s been 30 years so it’s normal. But please understand that you will start to feel a little better each day. You’re used to him always being there so it’s gonna be a process. I know most of the women on here might not agree with this but I’m gonna say it anyway. Go get you some new 
. It’s not a solution but hell you’ve had sex with the same person for 30 years without stepping out. You deserve to have your back blown out hunty. 
It’s not gonna solve all of your problems but it can be a good release. 
You did the right thing don’t beat yourself up you didn’t cheat or do anything wrong try to stay strong
Your mourning your marriage. It’s different if it were a couple yrs married. You gave him your life. Your grieving the past. This is normal. Unfortunately. We have to have closure to allow a future. I’m so sorry this has happened. Prayers for you. God knows who you are and will give you the peace you seek when you ask him for it. God has a path for you. Ask him and he will guide you to it. On another note. Vitamin D3 is a natural antidepressant. It sounds crazy I know. But trust me , it kept my husband from suicide. I pray that you are not that far gone. But it has helped him tremendously. Ask your Dr for a Vitamin Panel to check it. Sometimes our body repels the absorption of vitamins causing a deficiency and depression. God bless. I hope this helps.
5 Likes
A loss is a loss, no matter how it happens. Look up Stages of loss and grief. Your feelings are normal. Best wishes… 
3 Likes
Cuz you gave 30 years of your life and feel you got cheated of the Love & Loyalty you Sooo Wanted and Deserved.
1 Like
I got divorced after 23 yrs its hard it’s like a death but u will get over it and u look back and think I should have done that along time ago
5 Likes
Your feeling up and down because you
Loved this man for 30
Years, you are also very sad because you said he cheated before , but this time you actually caught him. So yes your feelings are normal, just take it one day at a time and you will get through it and be able to be happy again one day. Just remember he did this not you, I’m glad to hear you decided to end things because he obviously is never going to change and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.
5 Likes
It will get better…in time…he’s done wrong enough,let him go…you deserve better happiness
2 Likes
It’s loss hun…30yrs of your life. That is hard and F that dude. Karma will be him getting a STD while your living your best life. Much love to you
2 Likes
Cos your guna have those days thats normal you were with him for 30yrs…
2 Likes
All normal feelings.
1 Like
It’s totally normal you’ve spent probably over 30years of your life with person. And as much as you might be happy they have gone. It will still hurt for a while he’s hurt you alot. You will be ok soon xo
2 Likes
In my opinion you’re grieving the many years and memories you had together when things where good, or perhaps what you achieved and celebrated at one time.
You just have to remember moving forward that you deserve love and respect and to be genuinely happy.
Grieving is a process and you need to acknowledge that unless someone was in your exact situation it will look differently for everyone.
Sending strength 
5 Likes
Remember you are mourning the loss of a 30 year relationship. You will have to go through the process.
But you are still young, so find a hobby, dance class, pottery course or something fun. Even just a daily walk to change the routine. Also, when my son’s dad left like 100 years ago, I rearranged my house to suit me. Small things like that can help the process.
Good luck you beautiful brave Sister 
5 Likes
Of course you feel down…it’s only natural to feel sad at the end of your marriage & such big changes in your life. Let yourself feel these emotions but don’t let yourself dwell too long. You have a new life unfolding every day, embrace it!
3 Likes
Totally normal hun. 30 years is a long time to be with someone. It’s going to take time to get into a routine and finish grieving the loss of your marriage. Everyone grieves different. If you feel that it’s extreme and your struggling don’t be afraid to talk to someone. A friend, a family member, a counselor… whoever your more comfortable with just as long as you talk it out and get it off your chest. It really does help
5 Likes
Freud deducted that the conscious mind is like the surface part of the iceberg, that leaves the 2/3 below the water as your subconscious mind and soul, they obviously are having something to say about how quickly your going to process this life adjustment
2 Likes
As men get older, most of them feel the need to prove they " still got it" if all these years he’s been cheating, you’ve put up with more than enough bulls***!! I’m really sorry you have to go thru this crap !!! Don’t feel guilty by what you did!!
2 Likes
When I found out my husband was cheating I felt low because I felt like he made a fool out of me and they were laughing at me behind my back and the sneakiness they were doing and thought they were getting by with it
1 Like
Not just mourning the loss of a relationship but also a piece of yourself. A big piece. You will be okay. In time. Even if the break is for the best, it will still hurt like hell. Speaking from experience. 
4 Likes
You’ve invested 30 years of your life into a marriage. You’re grieving the loss of a long relationship. This is very normal to feel this way.
4 Likes
Normal feelings. Keep your head up. You deserve better.
1 Like
It’s the change, you have lost the father of your kids, the person who was in your life for the past 30 years, and this is a big change of direction in you life. Adjustment is going to take time, you might want to get help. This is as close to death of a loved one as you can get, you are going to have to change your routine, find friends, family, and occupy yourself as much as you can. 
2 Likes
Change it up, if you can afford it, paint it, buy a new couch, new sheets, new door mat, little things. Take down his pictures, when you are ready of course. He was your life for 30 years, you shared so much with him, its not easy to just one day wake up and be ok, mourn the loss of your marriage, cry, scream, let it all out. And then remember who you are, and that you deserve so much better.
6 Likes
Because you had been with him for so long
You’ve just lost 30 years of your life. It’s like a death, of course you’re mourning. It’s perfectly normal. It’s important for you to talk it out with someone you trust. Get it off your chest. Then find a hobby to keep yourself busy. Read, crochet, knit, draw, paint, learn to ride a horse, make candles, whatever interests you. Take time to watch movies, make popcorn. Invite girlfriends over and play cards. You can do whatever you want. And look at the bright side. You have sole control over the remote control!
1 Like
It’s a huge adjustment. Give yourself time, patience, and lots of love
1 Like
I think it’s completely normal. Regardless of the outcome you spent 30 years together raised a family made memories and built a home. I think the hardest part is getting used to what to do or who you are as a individual. For 30 years you’ve been a mom a wife etc now you get to spread your wings and see where you soar. Try to find some local groups in your area maybe gardening or walking or scrapbooking whatever peaks your interest. The Best is yet to come and deep down you know this as well
1 Like
I think this is normal. the feeling of loosing what your so comfortable and used too. It feels scary and un sure and like you did something wrong when you didn’t. You start focusing on what all you lost and not what you gained. You gained a new start figure out who you are now that your sinlge a different age and have fun focus on you. You did the right thing but your mourning your 30 year old marriage and that is very normal.
Give yourself some grace and some time:heart: 30 years is a long time to be with someone. It’s time to create something new:heart: be brave. You have done nothing wrong, it’s just time for you to live and you may be feeling his remorse. Sending you love and hugs
You are like so many others you give and give he takes and takes, when you’ve had enough and you stop that hurt, you still have hurt to deal with all the things you see now you didn’t see before all the time and energy put into 30 years of a life with a person that could hurt you like that. Just to mention a few but everyday you’ll get stronger and it will hurt less and you’ll find your happy place and know you deserve better. Stay strong, build a life for yourself and know you don’t need someone that doesn’t respect or love you the way you deserve.
You’re grieving 30 years of your life.
Grief doesn’t go away, you simply learn how to grow around it over time 
4 Likes
You were married for thirty years and he had cheated before…and now you are alone and at peace. You need to allow yourself some time my friend. You dont relaize that everyting that was is no longer. You need to go into counselling. to help you put your life in a better way…and with a plan.
4 Likes
Only natural to feel betrayed. Hope you have people you can count on for some love and support.
2 Likes
It takes time, your grieving, seek therapy to talk it out and find something to fill the space, a hobby and take a trip, do all the things you couldn’t do with him.
1 Like
Because you actually cared just go through the motions it’s part of the healing process you’ll be ok and for him he’s trash 
you don’t need that in your life. Hugs hope you feel better soon take some time to pamper yourself
Believe me when the time comes you will be glad you made this decision, it takes time to get used to a new situation but it only gets better. Good luck
2 Likes
Things will get better. I know I was there in same kinda marriage for 25 years. He passed in 93 n I remarried in 96. Was the happiest time of my life till my second hubby passed in February 2015. I live life one day at a time now. Not much to look forward to only my grandchildren. My kids have a life of their own n I don’t want to interfer. I stay to myself.
2 Likes
Of course you’ll have down moments! Your whole life has dramatically changed. I can’t imagine being with someone for 30 years and them having complete disregard or respect for our relationship. It’ll take time, but get to know yourself all over again discover what YOU like what YOU want and what YOU enjoy.
1 Like
Normal. Keep busy.mcry…do something meaningful…volunteer…pamper yourself…