Are we in the wrong?

My boyfriend has kids with his ex. I have raised them when we first got together 2 years ago mom left state came back… He has custody she has visitation every other weekend and Fridays when he works till he gets off for his weekends. She is now throwing a fit that he won’t let her see them more and all this. In the summer they stay till Monday at her house till she works. She works nights. Then has let them go on vacation with her. Even though in papers it doesnt state he has to. Holidays we are attempting to split. In our state most people trick or treat on satuday if it lands on sunday… we are offering her to take them satuday to trick or treat so we can get kids to bed at a decent time on Halloween because of school the next day. If we mess up their schedule even by a half an hour we’re screwed they act out. We have tries to talk to her about splitting the other holidays. She is throwing a fit. She had them last Christmas eve and is demanding them this Christmas eve and all of Christmas break. She is refusing to pay the full child support amount and is throwing many different tantrums about all of. Now she is saying she is only getting to see the kids when it’s convenient for him… Mind you we are supposed to have a week notice if plans chance. She wanted them longer on his Friday… she asked that day and we agreed as long as she fed them dinner. She decided she wasn’t going to keep the kids longer. Even though we didn’t have to we was letting her. We explained if she talked to us we can work something out if she has plans and wants to keep them longer on his fridays… but if we have plans and can’t do it we will tell her again it is his weekends and if we make plans with the kid’s we explained we would tell her. But again she said it was only when it’s convenient for him… are we in the wrong?? I’m seriously done trying with her.


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In my opinion it’s something they need to work out given they are the parents.


No you are not wrong, follow the court order from now on and if it’s court ordered child support that will be on her. As long as you tried to make it even and fair then that’s on her for acting out.


Your not wrong. Let her throw fits. Make copies of the visitation papers if u have too. I’ve been there. & hold your ground when it comes to the Holidays. If it’s stipulated every other. Then stick to it. Kids need structure, they need schedules. She knew last Christmas she wouldn’t be having them this Christmas. That’s not fair to you, the kids & your husband. It doesn’t matter if she lives in the same state or not. It’s the same visitation schedule. The only thing that has changed is her Geography. Which could change again from what it sounds like. You’re doing the right thing. She sounds like an entitled, spoiled child. If she starts throwing fits. Stop talking to her. When she starts talking like an adult then resume communication. If u have too. Keep all texts, emails & maybe start recording phone calls. She may take her ex to Court & say you guys aren’t going by the visitation papers. This way if she tries to pull that crap. You’re one step ahead of her. Just make sure you keep crossing your T’s & doting your i’s. Which it sounds like you are. Good luck


Wht we do with my stepkids we take turn each holidays only thanksgiving and Christmas. If she had thm for thanksgiving last yr we hv thm this yr. If we had thm for Christmas last yr and this yr she has thm. Take turns…the only ppl u need to wrry about is wht best for the kids.


Suggest she be happy with wat she has including the extras. All these can be taken away and she gets court visits only. Her choice.

What state is this in. She needs to be jailed is she isn’t paying child support. What kind of mother leaves her kids anyways. Y’all are definitely not in the wrong.


No, your allowing her more time and trying to work things out with her. Need to follow court order as much as you can. Your doing everything that I would do

Keep track of every time she takes the kids… date, day, time. When she gets them and when they come home. Comes in handy for court. Keep all txt messages. It’s best to stick to court ordered visits. Don’t let her bully. It also can be arranged to drop off and pick up at Welfare dept. Witnesses. Sooner or later she’ll take it to court. Make her pay proper amount of support. Being lenient with her is worse thing y’all can do. Husband needs to step up and set her straight.

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Follow the court orders. can’t be nice and giving to some people, they take advantage of you!

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Sounds like y’all are being overly generous with her. If it were me, I would tell her if she doesn’t like the way it is hire a lawyer and try to change it or shut up and live with your rules


It’s his and her kids let him handle it.


She is just looking for something to fuss about in my opinion. I would let her know that since she can’t agree with the things you and your boyfriend are trying to do then you will go back to going by the papers word for word.

Go back to court if she wants it changed, on her dime… Otherwise just stick to the court order because as you see she’s already pushing for more and when she doesn’t get her way she acts out.

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Sounds like you need to go back to solicitors or get some advice from legal aid. Her demands are very unreasonable. Considering she doesn’t pay her child support. All the best.

Why not just stick with what’s in writing and that’s it? This way there is no arguing.

No you’re not in the wrong keep all text messages and record calls take them to the lawyer and go back to court if need be

Tell her f. Her either it’s the original agreement or haul her ass back to court

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