Would you be ok with your husband hanging out with his work buddies drinking all day and then going to the bar when he works away from home for 3 weeks or more right now he’s in a different state than me and I’m not liking this because he never used to do this kind of things before
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Are you okay with your husband going out and drinking?
Man can’t do shit these days but provide and die
More concerned with why he has to
What is he suppose to do if he’s away for 3 weeks in a different state? Just work then stay at the hotel and watch tv?
I would be upset too. Def mention it to him if you haven’t already.
I don’t know why he needs to go all day. Especially, frequently, but spending time with his buddies is good normally. I get how that has to suck since you want time with him too. I would just ask him to do … with you. Or see if you could join part if it or have a get together and invite his buddies over.
Absolutely just like if I want it go out with my girlfriends. Everyone needs life outside of wife/husband and kids. If he is working 3 weeks away what is he supposed to do? Stay in the hotel by hisself?
The problem with this page is the constant attacks women get on here. I would join a different page and I’m about to leave this one because some MAMA’S ARE JUST ASSHOLES WITH NO UNDERSTANDING APPARENTLY.
But why don’t you like it? Is he supposed to be headed home?? That’s the only thing that would bother me, if he’s giving up time with his family to drink all day
God yes. He needs to unwind and enjoy life so of that’s what he wanted to do then so be it. It’s not like he is picking up girls and cheating.
My fiance goes to the bar with his work buddies all the time. He’s deployed right now. And still goes. I was a little worried at first cause, like, past toxic relationships but he constantly calls and texts when he’s out. I don’t really see an issue with it. when he’s home he goes out with his work buddies, and he usually invites me (I usually opt out and stay home with the kids cause daycare/babysitters are expensive lol). But as long as he makes you feel like you can trust him. I don’t see an issue with it. I’d see an issue with it if you fear he’s becoming an alcoholic, or if he’s dumb when he drinks, or violent. Things like that. Otherwise.
I wouldn’t care if it was here and there. But every weekend and everytime he’s out of town? No. BUT I can not control what others do. Maybe you should address this with your individual therapist.
I would be ok with it as long as it wasn’t as every day occurrence… like every now & then it’s fine
Nope not at all. He’s partying like he’s 20 again. Drinking usually results in bad things happening especially when it’s chronic. Express your concerns.
I don’t see the issue? As long as he isn’t blowing every penny he’s making on the drinks and he’s not cheating then what’s wrong? The fact that he isn’t just holed up in a hotel room alone bothers you that much?
Nope. Nothing healthy comes from that. There are many of heathy ways to unwind.
He needs his time to have fun. Just like women need time to themselves to have fun.
I don’t see a problem with this no different than me going out with my girl’s
I’d be worried about why he’s acting this way when it’s not his normal. Suddenly frequenting bars is never a good sign. Maybe he’s depressed? Stressed? Having a life crisis?
More detail needed. I’m imagining this is on their off days, while being away for work? If so, absolutely don’t care. Unwind and relax. You’re saying drinking all day, but I’m wondering if this is just social drinking with several beer throughout the day. As long as he’s safe, not missing out on time with you/family, why can’t he?
I would telling him that if he is out going to bars and drinking with his friends. You are gonna find a bar you like and start going and hang out with your friends. No more staying home waiting for him to call. I did this to my husband and he went to the bar I had been going to with me. He didn’t like the fact that a bunch of old high schools friends (guys included) hung out there too and hugged me as a greeting when we came in. All platonic but he still didn’t like it. His cousin was the one instigating them going to bars alone.
I’m guessing he must be telling you what hes doing, doesn’t that say something I mean hes in another state so for you to know hez going out he must be texting or ringing you, chill tf out most men wouldn’t do that…
3 weeks in a bar is a long time, they might start charging him rent at some point. He’ll be fine, even if he gets a DUI, he’ll end up home without a job right where you wanted him.
No I would not like it
If my husband ever wanted to, I’d be okay with it. He’s a grown man, I’m not his mother, he knows exactly what’s right and what’s wrong. Therefore I trust my husband. If he chooses to do something wrong and break that trust, it’s on him. And the truth has a way of coming out. However, if my husband suddenly wants to do this, and on a regular basis, I’d be very suspicious. Because my husband doesn’t like going out and drinking. He loves being home. At the end of the day, you can’t stop him, he’ll go and just not tell you. Not sure how you’ll end up handling this, but good luck
He has a drinking problem.
He’s in a different state with colleagues. They could find better ways to spend their time and money and I would make that suggestion but also understand…he isn’t home and is more than likely bored.
If you don’t trust your partner, don’t be with them. He is a grown man and can do as he pleases. Why would you want him stuck in a hotel room all evening long? He is probably having a beer or 2 and talking to friends. Sounds like some insecurities and jealousy to me.
Nope…mine goes out on his own …he loves doing kareoke …he use to every wknd (i used to go with him but now i rather stay home) but nowadays its every once in while cuz hes getting old …according to him:rofl: …i dont care …he was out of my hair for a while and i could watch tv in silence lol…plus he doesn’t get wasted and spend tons of money …plus he’s home before midnight…Maybe he is getting old
Drinking all day? What does he do for work??
I think you need to start making friends and having your own life. Build your confidence up and stop worrying about what he’s doing. He’s honest with you and sounds like he’s just decompressing after work. What else is he supposed to do, go back to the hotel & watch tv? That’s no life. He’s making friends and keeping busy. Nothing wrong with going out. If you be had previous issue with cheating then tell him but otherwise start by getting a hobby and start enjoying your life.
If you don’t trust him then leave, same advice I would give my younger self.
Only if he would be okay with me doing the same. If he’s not,
Is it a problem because he isn’t spending time with his family? If so then yeah when he is home he shouldn’t be hanging drinking all day everyday. Once in a while is fine and when he is away for work why not unless you don’t trust him or think he has a drinking problem.
As long as he still sends the mortgage payment. Go for it lmao
I reckon he deserves some time for him he works hard why not let him hang with his bros if you don’t like him going out it’s because U don’t trust him so yous shouldn’t be toegther.
Unfortunately its a thing with men that travel what else are they supposed to do sit in a hotel room and stare at the wall?
I would definitely be ok with it- he needs to maintain all his friendships that are important to him that he is away from- as well as yours so 1 night out with his friends definitely ok in my books- but I also trust him 10,000%. If I didn’t then maybe it would be different
Anyone allowing their hubby to "go away " for work then complaining they’re cheating or drinking shouldn’t be in a relationship. You know he’s going out to cheat. The only reason to go to a bar is to pick up women. He can drink at home if that’s all he’s doing.
People who work in groups have a group mentality and yes they booze when away together. This can lead to alcoholism however, in the industry I was involved with.
nope but i have no say not married myself
So he’s working away from home and then going out with people ? Should he drive home every night ? I could see you being upset if he was home and going out all the time , but what else is he supposed to do while he’s away ?
If he’s trustworthy and getting the job done I would not have a problem with it. It’s not like he’s home with family and skipping out on them. If he is not trustworthy then I wouldn’t be with him anyways so I guess that really makes it simple ￼￼
Vandy Gibson entertainment is cheating??
Wouldn’t bother me at all, my husband has went out drinking with women at his job.
I guess it depends on your marriage and husband. My husband travels sometimes and they do that more often than I would really like but I think as long as you are communicating about it then it’s okay. To an extent. When my husband travels to different states for work I always prefer him working night turn cause it avoids a lot of this if it bothers you or he is being secretive then no its not okay.
Mine goes out every week and gets boys weekends whenever he asks and we can accommodate and he can afford them. Why hold your man hostage.
I think you need to trust him. As long as you’ve never had issues before. It gets tiring being in one room every nite. Just let him know your supportive of him.
Being married shouldn’t mean having to have no life
I go out drinking without my husband he doesn’t like going out with my girlfriends and I don’t always want my man around for girl time. State lines shouldn’t make a difference if you can’t trust him at work out of town whatever you can’t trust him at home.
could be a phase, let him do it and get it out of his system if you trust him you shouldn’t be worried
So what part of him do you not trust about him . Drinking and meeting a woman who will flirt with him or that he will flirt back ?? That is what most married people worry about . Communicate that with him if its a problem to you . If you do not like the answer or plan on controlling every part of his life while he is away on work time then good luck with a man who will feel you suddenly have trust issues you never seemed to have before this . So put all your insecurities into this discussion and see where the chips fall . Now if you feel like he is wasting too much money on alcohol or that he is turning into an alcoholic then also that needs to be discussed besides the not trusting him being around his work buddies . Are they all male or are they also female . Its seems you are worried about him finding him another woman while he is away . If your relationship is not solid before all this out of town work came up then of course you would be upset right away as soon as he is doing things he should not do without you being in the picture . Its called COMMUNICATION . Use it now or stay miserable on the what ifs.
I trust mine personally. He goes up the bar by himself to play pool with random people from time to time. Not to mention I’m home with our son and pregnant as well. Now if it was all the time then it would be a problem.
If you can’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them.
Why are you married to someone you don’t trust? Sounds miserable.
Absolutely. He’s out of town, what is he supposed to do? Sit in the hotel room by himself the entire time?
But he’s not home. He’s away at work. You want him to sit in a hotel room alone instead? What else is he supposed to do?
He’s a grown man, either trust him or walk away he doesn’t deserve no trust until he gives you a reason not too.
If your husband‘s an ironworker… feel free to message me.
But to answer ur questions
When booming out, life is different HAS to be boundaries… and apparently this is a soft no for you. Make a list of HARD NOs and Soft No’s …
IF that don’t work… 2 can play that game… ￼
U don’t own him and he isn’t your child
Depends, is he doing it while he’s away for the 3 weeks or when he’s home?
If he’s doing it while he’s away, it could be a way to decompress after a long week and you shouldn’t be worried.
Unless he has cheated on the past or you don’t trust home to not cheat- and if you don’t trust him not to cheat why are you with him?
If he’s doing it while he’s home, does he go out every day and drink and not spend any time with you and your kid. I’d be pissed.
Or is it he spends 1 day with his mates and the rest of his time with you and the kid.
I would talk to him and voice your worries and come up with a solution.
Like once every second week home he goes out with his mates and the other week his home he spends it purely with you and the kid (kids when the second comes)
So for instance:
1st week back- purely family time.
2nd week back he can go out with his mates for a day.
But you need to have an open discussion (and try not to yell at him). Come up with a compromise for the both of you
With his work buddies? Well, yeah. My boyfriend drinks with his work colleagues whenever he wants. The only thing I ask is a heads up in advance because we have a lot of animals and a son. Although if I voice that I’m uncomfortable or feeling like my needs are neglected we will sit down and chat and then come to a solution together.
What do you want him to do , to stay at his hotel room all the time when he is not working?
Give him a damn break !!!
If you do not trust him what the heck are you with him
My ex was an alcoholic. So for me that would be NO
Give him a taste of his own meds…
He is a grown man.That sounds like he work’s his a** off so why would him drinking with his buddies bother you.Women that must have complete control over their men need to stop…that’s ridiculous honestly.
Let that man live. What’s your outlet? Do you have a girls night or some way to be yourself without the woes of domestic duties. It’s really healthy to have an out once in a while. When he gets home, have him watch the kiddos and you have a day.
This issue has been addressed in our marriage of nearly 31 years. There were some times he had to travel for work b/c there wasn’t a lot available here. It almost caused a divorce for real. It had nothing to do with trust issues whatsoever or money. The problem was that when he was home and working close by, he went to work, came home and had supper, watched some tv and went to bed. Weekends were spent doing yard work or things around the house that needed done that he didn’t do through the week b/c of long hours at work. What is different when living away from home working that he has the energy or want to go to a bar to shoot pool or darts? When he’s home he doesn’t do that, nor do we go out and do anything fun.
Yeah not ok with me. Going out to bars you go as a couple. He can have friends hang out but no to the bars…it’s not trust issues it’s the alcohol, and all that goes with it. 1 our family can’t afford a DUI a lawyer or more expensive insurance. 2 it’s dangerous driving (MADD). 3 thankfully my man out grew all that. 4 the extra money in our budget is spent on us having fun times together. 5 we actually enjoy each other’s company. But that’s just us.
This is a very hard situation because many people have different views on it.
I personally would have an issue with it because I grew up with my dad being on the road a lot for work and we caught him cheating on my mom multiple times. So now I have a constant fear of it happening to me. Thankfully my husband knows this about me and goes above and beyond to help me feel confident about our relationship so I don’t worry when he does go out.
But most people will have a different view because there’s no reason to not trust your husband if he’s never done anything for you to question him. You know what i mean? A healthy relationship needs trust for it to work, and if there’s no trust it’s going to end bad. And it’s true.
I think it would be a good idea to sit down and talk to him about how you’re feeling. Go over your worries and concerns, what you both can do to make each other comfortable and feel secure in your relationship, and go from there.
You both will have to come to a compromise, and I hope that you’re able to do so.
It really sucks I know
Ugh. Every time my kids dad went out he cheated. I didn’t know it for a long time. He was really good at hiding it… until he screwed up. I’m not saying your dude is doing that. Just mine did & he never went out before that
He’s currently in a different state and you’re mad that he’s not sitting in his room being bored? As long as he’s not cheating and he’s attentive when he is home, I don’t see it as a big issue. When you’re not the road for long periods of time it can get lonely and depressing to just sit in your hotel doing nothing for hours on end. You’re not at home, you’re missing out on your kids, you miss your spouse, you’re lonely. Sometimes going out to blow off steam with the guys is what’s needed to keep your sanity.
New behavior doesn’t necessarily mean sketchy behavior. It could be that he didn’t like the guys he worked with before and now he does. Or that he got tired of hanging out in his room by himself all the time.
When mine did that, he was off meeting and talking to other women.
I can’t stand people that say “if you’re in a relationship, you don’t go to bars.” How does that change anything? Go together, go seperate with friends, like your life doesn’t change because you’re “in a relationship”. And if it does than y’all clearly can’t be your selves around each other or have ZERO trust and don’t even need to be together.
It’s wild to me the way some people think(mostly in the comments). Also most men who work out of town have nothing better to do with their time, but also doesn’t mean they are out chasing after something different if that happens to be what you’re getting at.
Would he care if you went out with a group of friends?
If he’s spending money that you can’t afford then maybe you have a beef. If he’s just socializing with coworkers sounds like you have some trust issues you need to address. No quicker way to drive a man away than treating him like a child who can’t be trusted.
Alcohol use does get expensive, but my concern would be his consumption and possible abuse of alcohol. My father was an alcoholic and it destroyed our family and in the end destroyed my father. He died of alcoholism.
No, it’s time he gets help or you move on
If he is working out of State how could he be drinking all day??? This makes no sense
If he is working there is no way he is drinking all day unless he is a bartender
The drinking or you. He needs to decide now
No, my husband is a recovered alcoholic so I’d be concerned.
Me personally, no. Family is priority. Fun is occasional on the side. More time should be spent on the priority then the fun. But that’s me