at what point do you just quit inviting grandparents to your kid’s outings and events? one or both of my parents shows up to everything while my husband’s parents ALWAYS have an excuse for why they can’t but ALWAYS go to other grandkids stuff. I try not to let it bother me but I feel bad for my kids. they’re little now and don’t care but one day they will and it seriously hurts my heart for them. I think it’s totally unfair for grandparents to have favorites.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. At what point did you give up on your kids grandparents?
Honestly I always still invited them. I never gave up. Because at the end of the day it’s their choice not to come but I always wanted to make sure they knew they were invited and welcome. Whether they chose to not show up and miss out that was on them and not me.
We are 85 and we are driving 2 1/2 hrs. Sat. to attend a great-grandson’s 1st birthday party. Don’t miss anything anyone in the family does.
I would stop putting in the effort. If you feel like you have to force the grandparents to be there then it’s just not worth it. Their the ones missing out. My husband and I quickly learned that even though it’s family, some just aren’t meant for the title that their given and that’s fine.
I cut my parents off a while ago and it had nothing to do with my child - although she was already born by then. I’m glad I did. best decision ever for my family. And now I’m having a new baby and they won’t even have to deal with the toxic ish.
Just quit inviting them. Than you don’t have to deal with them saying an excuse. That’s what I do.
My situation is the exact same but opposite parents (mine are the ones that don’t care). I quit after the 4/5-ish excuses, a few insults, and a few exclusions of me and my kids/SO. This is the first year I’m going to attempt on cutting out Christmas presents, since they can’t bother to be in their lives or come see them.
I would still extend the invite at least you can look back and say you did the effort. It’s on them if they decide to decline and not be involved.
I’ve had the issue with other people not grandparents though. I just stopped inviting people who never shower up. If it was occasionally it would be different but when it’s every time then just stop inviting them.
If someone wants to be apart of your kids life and celebrate things with them then they would make the effort to do so
Continue to let the grandparents know about events and try not to make a big deal out of it in front of your children. They will know that their grandparents are showing preferential treatment without it being said, at some point. I only had one set of grandparents that I was close to growing up and it’s not the end of the world. It will be their loss if they don’t try to make time for all of their grandchildren.
We would love to go to all our grandies outings. We are invited into one set of grandchildren lives but for the last 3 years have not been invited to our other set in grandies lives. We used to go to everything they did. Really miss being in their lives. Everyone looses
It’s taken me off and on for 10 years. With my biological mom. After my 3rd child cried because she said she’d show up to his birthday and didn’t. I was finally done. But of course it’s always my fault according to her🤷♀️
Fill in the space with other people who enjoy your kids. Lots of lonely older or people or those who can’t give birth to children who’d love to have kids in their life. I only had one uncle whose wife wouldn’t let him visit us, but had loads of “aunts” and “uncles” who were active in my life.
You invite them AS LONG AS YOUR HUSBAND WANTS TO. This is not up to you OR a bunch of people on the internet.
Sounds like they didn’t approve of you so now they’re disapproving of your children. It’s not fair to the children. Stop inviting them. Tell your hubby that you don’t want them around the children and you refuse to invite them anymore to things
Yes, the kids will remember it someday, when the grandparents need a visit from them. Kids always remember who cared about them.
Eh give them the invites it’s all on them what they do with them. Personally I wouldn’t know about grand parents. My grandma had like a million grand kids and even great grand kids and even great great grand children so I was no body on my dad’s side. Though my grandma did care but was poor. My mom’s side died when i was little. And my children have one grand parent alive and she has dementia. At this point I’d take what I got.
You appreciate the ones that show up and forget about the rest.
It definitely sucks. Just remember it’s their loss. Friends are the family we choose. Find some new family
You can’t control them, you can control your feelings. Stop asking
Never continue to do it maybe they have something going on that they don’t wanna tell, even if not can’t blame you down the rd if they are alway invited
You don’t. Be the person you should be.
If it bothers you speak to them about it, let them know you know what’s going on and what you feel about it
My inlaws have never came to anything, never called on a holiday or birthday, never bought Xmas gifts and I don’t push it or care. My kids don’t either. If you don’t make it an issue it won’t be.
Same boat. I just stopped inviting them
I feel this. My kids have only one grandpa alive from my side as my mother has passed away and my husband’s parents has too passed… the only grandparent my children have is my father and I invited him to everything but he never shows up always an excuse but will go to another state 3 hours away to be with his girlfriends grandchildren every single weekend, when we are only 30 minutes away.
Sounds like a problem your husband needs to address to get an answer
Feelings fade their loss unfortunately
Just stop inviting them. They’re the ones missing out. I truly think it hurts us more than it hurts our kids, they’ll see who was always there for them
Let it go. Your kids don’t miss what they don’t know. The grandparents are the ones missing out.
Just stop inviting them & if they ask why you don’t invite them anymore, just tell them straight up, “well you don’t bother to even come when you are invited so why bother”
I stopped after year number 2. Always invited them and they always had an excuse. It not only hurt my boyfriend but me as well. They live maybe 40 min away and couldn’t make it to see them on occasion yet were able to drive 8 hours for other ones. So sad for our kids but they have my parents and my family that love them and are always there for them. Our kids don’t even know their dad’s side of the family.
Go ahead and invite them it is their choice to come or not,but at least you invited them. It stinks that they are acting this way. Life is to short. I pray some day they get it that they are being so unfair. This happens in a lot of Families unfortunately.
Continue to invite. They might come around. At least you try. Your kids will figure it out. Also. Rave about the other grandparents doing such an awesone job at showing up and supporting them!!!
Been dealing with this my kids whole lives and they are 15, 14 and 11. My kids have my family so I just try to ignore it. I just know I will never have favorites in my future grandchildren.
Always ask. That way they can never say you didn’t invite them.
You don’t ever stop inviting them.
You always send the invite because when they don’t show, you know it’s them and not you. They didn’t show because they weren’t invited. They didn’t show because it wasn’t a priority to them.
As your kids get older and start to ask questions, redirect them. Never speak badly about another family member. They will eventually figure it out on their own.