The problems started by him leaving the hallway bathroom door open. Which, isn’t a huge deal to me. But our oldest dog, 13, likes to get in the little trash can and throw all the trash everywhere. After a few times of walking in there in the morning and cleaning up trash, I’ve asked everyone in the house to please leave the door shut because I’m tired of cleaning up the mess. He doesn’t do it and my dog still gets in there and destroys the mess. I’ve even gone as far as posing a little sign on the door asking to please keep it shut. It still happens. Well, fast forward a couple months later, I’m scrolling through Facebook, and I see him post a picture of him and his “girlfriend”. I shrug and scroll, but something hit me and I scrolled back and noticed it was taken in the back bedroom of our house, where he stays. Now, one of our only rules when he moved in was, nobody comes over to our house when we’re there, or not there. Because you know, covid and everything. We don’t allow anyone in our home that we don’t know.
Well, I texted him and asked him if the girl was in our house. He said no that was taken at her house. I told my husband about it, and he asked him to send us a picture of her bedroom because he didn’t believe that she had the exact same color wall and exact same bed frame that we have. His brother responded by asking if we could talk about it later, because he’s at work and cannot have his phone out. Cool, no big deal. I was a little irritated because I know I was lied to. As the day went on I kept thinking about it and getting more and more angry.
I came home, and my husband asked him to come to the living room for a family meeting. The first thing he said when he walked into the room was, “I lied. She was here.”
I went off. I was angry. And I’m still angry that I was lied to. Thankfully, our daughter wasn’t there that night, she was at her grandparents. I wanted him out of our house that night, and out of our wedding (this was before we got married). My husband managed to convince me to let him stay until the first of the year with certain restrictions. We talked it over with his brother, and he agreed to having a curfew. This is a thirty year old man with a CURFEW.
A month or so go on, we get married, and he’s been alright. Kind of keeping to himself. But, he still doesn’t clean up. I have to wash his dishes (our dishes that he uses) and pick up his dirty boxers from the bathroom floor. I told my husband that if his brother didn’t start acting like a thirty year old man and not a twelve year old boy, he would be gone within a week. He agreed. But, it’s gotten nowhere. Two days ago, the hallway bathroom door got left open again. Trash got thrown all over the room by my dog. So, I left it there for two days to see if he’d clean it up. My husband, our daughter, and I used the other bathroom just to put a point across.
I walked in there today, and the trash was still there. I got mad and grabbed a trash bag and told my husband I was going to clean the hallway bathroom. His brother heard me and said he’d clean it up. I told him no, that it had been there for two days and he had a chance to clean it up, and I was tired of feeling like I have two children instead of one because of the amount of messes I have to clean up after him.
After I made that comment, he went to his bedroom and hasn’t come out since. I was so mad, that I put my headphones in and cleaned the house from top to bottom for three hours, scrubbing walls and ceiling fans and the whole nine yards. I told my husband if this clean house gets messed up by any adult in this house, I’m going to flip my lid.
Was I an asshole for acting like this? Or am I justified to my feelings? I’m just trying to keep a clean house so I don’t have to worry about my one year old putting random things in her mouth if I look away for a second.
Boundaries are important, and have to be loud and clear, without all the talking.
yeah I wouldn’t clean up your dogs mess either. Teach the dog to stay out the trash.