Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can anyone teach me how to love myself or at least enjoy being alone?
I started taking myself out on dates. Just me. Walk to a Cafe or something when the kids are gone. Idk why but that’s refreshing. I’m learning to date myself and treat myself well.
I am in the same boat…
It sounds like depression. I would suggest seeing a therapist. I would also suggest finding things that you enjoy… try different hobbies until you find one that you enjoy. Doing something that you enjoy helps. Take things one day at a time and set small, achievable goals… like drinking more water. Or walking 30 minutes a day. Make lists, cross those things off the list.
You need to get into therapy’s to address the reasons why first.
When I was seeing a counselor they told me everyday to write three positive things down. Something you’re grateful for, something you like about yourself, something good that happened during the day- no matter how insignificant it seems. Look up one positive quote in the morning, find a positive bible verse and write it down- stick it on the fridge and read it every time you open it. Start loving yourself for all that you are and just try to be a better you today than you were yesterday one step at a time.
Virtual hugs to you!! I was in your shoes until recently. Joined yoga classes, forced myself to listen to music I loved, went for walks (I really enjoyed them) and looooong drives with blasting music… just little things that kept me distracted and going.
If nothing’s helping, please please please please speak to a therapist or you can ALWAYS dm me… I am just a message away… it ALWAYS helps to discuss your issues with a stranger as they don’t know us as a person. Hope you get a new direction soon❤️
Hit the reset button.
I be find some think you like doing like gym ,walking, take you self out to fun movie or dinner . Hairdresser, clother shopping . Sit back injoy your time with like book or music cup coffee or tea . Find some think you love too . But I see some one too for talk it’s all best to get off your mind .
Find a therapist, life coach, or mentor that can help you on your journey of self love. I have helped many woman and men recondition their minds, discover who they are/want to be, and find their light/love for themself. There are so many things that block our abilities to discover love for oneself, sometimes having someone help guide you can help give the support needed. I am not suggesting myself (although you are welcome to message me), but anyone that’s fits this profession. Also, if this is something you are interested in, there are tons of resources like books, YouTube, meditation, yoga, podcasts, ect. Invest in yourself in anyway that feels good to you. Good luck and take care of you!!!
Unless you are doing something terrible to yourself or others theres nothing to hate, if it stems from some sort of comparison with others you are forgetting that there is no other you and no other them - embrace your uniqueness
Think about what you would like in a partner, and do those things for yourself. Or what you would or wouldn’t like for someone.
Bless you need counciling to help you change old patterns and start new positive ones like loving yourself xo.
Go way back to that little girl you once were, the one who was innocent, loved dancing in the rain, who giggled over silly things, found that girl again and pause, pause for however long it takes to reset. It takes a very strong individual to ask for help but unfortunately you are the only one who can teach yourself what you are asking I say this from personal experience😞 antidepressants would be a good starting point, it may take a few tries to find one that is compatible with your brain chemistry but is well worth it. It’s not a permanent fix but the changes once you find one that works will most likely be a huge turning point for you! Counseling or a therapist if you find a good one that you are comfortable with can be very beneficial to with helping you understand your feelings and why you feel the way you do. Everyone deserves love and to be able to love their selves. I’m sorry and saddened by what you are going through, you have to believe and keep faith this is a temporary down in life and you will be ok, you’re not alone even though you might feel you are, so many people struggle with this and end up having a good life🙂 I don’t know your story but I promise it doesn’t rain all the time!
I think you have to work on the things you don’t like about yourself. You’re fighting growth. Change is scary, but necessary as we get older.
You have to want it. To learn to sit in a room completely alone and be happy takes time. I learned how to go to dinner and the movies alone. I sat on a beach alone (with my dog). It took time. But I finally decided I wasn’t waiting for someone to have time to go with me. I was single for years and loved it. Then I met the man I married knowing I didn’t need him, but I wanted him and that is empowering. I can do it on my own. I just choose not to anymore.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it will get better, first step is willing and wanting to change which you have done!
Every morning upon waking up listen to an affirmation audio , there are great ones on YouTube, after that put a upbeat music (whatever is your favorite) to set the mood, get in the shower and tell yourself 3-5 things you are grateful/ proud of in your life, it can be as simple as “I’m grateful to wake up and see another sunrise, or I’m proud of being a hard worker”, eventually it will become natural to you! Our minds are so adaptable!
Every night, before you go to sleep do the same! Listen to a positive affirmative audio, say 3-5 things you like/love about yourself (start with 1 thing and work your way up)
Exercise, even if it’s just a walk in the neighborhood with your favorite happy music on!
Therapy is amazing, a great therapist can help and do wonders, there are very knowledgeable and caring therapist around!
Take small steps to climb the latter, make a vision board for yourself and accomplish one reasonable and tangible goal at a time!
Also my DM is always open with ZERO judgment, I’m here to listen and help!
Start with complete honesty, and that means admitting that while yes you might feel hate for many things abt yourself you also have love and respect for many things abt yourself, start with that list and feed that energy . Get someone to help you navigate and yes learn to have a better relationship with yourself before adding someone to the mix .
I pray that you receive the LOVE of God and receive the peace your whole being needs in Jesus name Amen
I don’t think someone can teach you that. I think you have to start by changing g what you do like about yourself. Work on you
Start taking yourself out on dates! A meal, nails done, hair appointment, a movie, bowling, ice skating, whatever you feel like you want to do! You have no one to ask or answer to. No one to stop you from doing what you want because they want to do something else. Pick something in your life that needs improvement and focus on it! Self growth is one of the best forms of self love!!! It took me forever to finally live myself again. It was a lot of work! A lot of setbacks. But also so much enjoyment when you finally live yourself!
Start working on your self awareness and listening to your body when it tells you it needs something. Rediscover your hobbies and interests and make room for new ones. Learn who YOU are without having someone else around.
everything an ideal man would do for you in your heart and mind and in your wildest dreams is your unexpressed wants and needs so like if you’re secretly sad thinking Other Girls get flowers just plant so many flowers that every time people come to your house or office they see fresh flowers and you always have fresh flowers and you win at who got most flowers. Be extravagant. Like what special meals would you be cooking for dudebro #9 trying to impress upon him that you are a Good Woman TM and have what it takes to be Wife Material but in actual fact they are a liability and doubly so is trying to impress them. Really there is such a shortage of good ones that they are a hot commodity and they love it but in actual fact statistically they shorten our lives. Make sure you are being treated just as well as girls with boyfriends it’s such a mass brainwashing how we are literally programmed to await prince charming to come liberate us by climbing our hair. If you focus on you your energy and time and resources you have focused on looking for a man there you go already you’re way ahead of the women waiting on prince charming. Treat yo self. Treat yourself like an actual princess just spoil yourself beyond any doubt like if you have to wonder if you’re doing enough you’re not doing enough. Don’t wait to have a date for anything in life plan a trip to your honeymoon destination of your dreams with a sister cousin or bestie and take yourself to the new restaurants in town. Buy yourself whatever you want systematically like make wishlists watch sales just go up a notch on quality on your consumables from the nice spices nice soap nice shampoo salon services whatever your little heart desires. Hire a handyman and give him the honey do list don’t tell him he’s doing the boyfriend tasks unless he’s really cute
It takes time buy soon you will see being alone is freaking awesome. You can go on a target or tj Maxx run whenever you want. Like no one can say you don’t need to go there.
You can eat what you want, when you want AND watch whatever you want to watch on TV. No one says they don’t want to watch your YouTube drama videos.
You can literally go to bed when you get home from work and no one says anything about it. Plus you get to decorate your room how you want and no one can say you don’t need throw pillows or stuffed animals on your bed.
Being alone is freaking great.
read books and walk! When I was going through something similar that is what I did and it made life so much better.
I have a friend that looks herself in the mirror every day and says 10 good things about herself.
I am beautiful
I am strong
I am worthy
I am kind
I am a good sister
I am enough
I am loved
I am wonderfully made
I am a good mom
I am a good friend
Advice she gave me and I hope it helps you
Just make sure to find yourself and love yourself before you love anyone else:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Prayers for u and many hugs!!
It took a long time for me to love myself once I learned to not care what other people think it became a lot easier just remember it’s none of your business what other people think in their head
Communication is key. Find someone to talk to. It doesn’t have to be a therapist. Also, volunteer some time. It is greatly rewarding. Go to church. God loves you!
Stop expecting another person to fulfill you and your needs. Do all the things for yourself that you normally expect another person to do: date yourself, go out to eat alone, take yourself to the movies, go on trips alone, buy yourself flowers. Make a list of all the things that you like about yourself. Make a list of all the things you want your future SO to be and stick to that. Being alone isn’t that bad once you realize your own worth and stop settling for less due to loneliness. Being alone is far better than living life with someone who doesn’t value you and constantly trying to convince them if your value. Journaling your feelings to process them is helpful and help you work thru thoughts and feelings that are unhealthy.
I wish I knew the answer. I don’t have any friends , and my family isn’t close . I have tried
Church! Surround yourself with positive people…it turned my life around
Just read this. Start every day and every challenge.
I am worthy
Don’t question repeat until you internalize it
No one is perfect, keep trying and doing your best
You are depressed ,frist seek help for your depression , but being alone may be what you need until you heal!
My therapist started by having me list the things I didn’t like about myself and the things I did. At first I would look at the list of things I didn’t like and see what I could change. I focused on myself and some time later she asked me to do the list again. I had to have some prompting from her but after a little while the list of stuff I liked about myself was three times as long as the things I didn’t like. I really had to spend some time with me and some friends who were on the same path as me. If we learn to love ourselves, the right things will find us. Good luck
What I always found helped me was going into nature and just being relaxed with my thoughts. Also I started complimenting random strangers. If I thought an older lady was dressed classy I told her. If a man was being a gentleman I told him. Seeing the smiles and joy this brought to others really helped me feel joy and smile. It helped me see that if I can do that for others I can definitely do it for myself
Therapy. You need therapy. It will help you figure it out. Don’t listen to people who tell you how great it is being alone. Spending time alone and being alone are two different things. Learning to like and love yourself takes effort and forgiveness
It’s great to have a partner. It’s great spending time and living with a mate. Life should not be lonely. Get help and get out there!! Life is waiting!
I started with a coach! If you’d like me to add you to her groups just PM me. She gives away a ton of free resources. It’s not easy and it’s an everyday thing. Hugs to you.
Take time. Find a new hobby, something you’ve been wanting to try. Find a book that you absolutely love and a favorite tea or coffee or smoothie or whatever. I say church but I’m also very religious and realize not everyone is. Find something that makes you proud- painting or writing, just accomplish something, some little project. Take time to care for yourself like a face mask or a spa day or even just painting your nails and spending time on your makeup so you feel good. Make time for friends and family, join a church group or a craft group or something where you can enjoy being with other people.
I used to be this way myself…I am not alone…I have myself to hang out with …I can do what and when I want to…I can take a walk a bubble bath, a nap, watch a movie , I don’t fight nor disagree with myself…we get along quite well…we like the same music and I can stay in my PJS all day if I want…your Spirit and your body are two separate beings…like yourself girl…your all…you truly have on this Earth…
I found my peace in my solitude. It was uncomfortable at first, but a good playlist/album and a little unscheduled self care went a long way for me not something I was used to…but once I could sit in the uncomfortableness of the silence, it became something I craved. Be kind to yourself, take yourself out to lunch, give love to yourself in small ways and you may just find what you’re looking for
Do what pleases you. Do what you enjoy. Surround yourself with true friends who support you. Read more books. Take more walks. Listen to more music. Travel.
I feel this to my core. I hope you figure it out!
Therapy is a game changer. It really helps
Getting out of a toxic relationship showed me how to love my self. Compliments help you giving alone to ur favorite meal an drink is a Plus. Just think of who u were w then an what it made u now…
I’m in the same boat love. I don’t have any friends and I have such low self esteem it’s scary. You can get through this!
t h e r a p y, love. bc we are all amazing but we are all different.
You have to make yourself not say that… If you tell yourself that, you will always feel awful… Start by being more kind to yourself. What you dislike, work on changing…
This was so hard for me to overcome. It seemed like I lived in a black bubble of self hate for so long. I started doing small things for myself and little by little I started feeling better. Now I feel amazing and have for the past almost year now.