I found out that when my son goes to his dad’s house on the weekends, he has his flavor of the week over. I don’t really like the idea that he has different girls around my child on his weekends, and I have expressed this to him but he says he is going to do what he wants. What should I do?
Unless it’s addressed in your parenting plan there is nothing you can do.
No just like he can’t do anything when you have people over
Mind your own business, that’s what you should do.
Unfortunately nothing. It’s his weekend and he can do what he wants. Unless there’s abuse, you’ll have to stomach it.
Unless the child is in some type of danger there really isn’t anything you can do. Just like he cant tell you who you can and can’t have over.
Sign * sadly he can do what he wants on his weekend unless he’s abusive.
Unless its in your custody agreement? You can’t.
And if you try? He can request the same thing. Be careful for what you wish for.
Its his weekend, not yours. You can’t dictate anything when its his time.
Let him parent how he wants. Unless you want to go back to court with a morality clause put in which would go for you too, you have to let it go and realize its his house and you cant control him any more than he can control your house.
I think we need a lil more information here. How old is your child? How did you find out about the girls? Did the child mention it ? Is there something wrong going on?
Just let it go! My X husband has 4 Xwives including me… Trust me there’s NOTHING you can do about it! It’s his life. Let him F it up! As longs as the best interests of the child are being met and he’s not coming home with bruises. Say nothing, you’ll just look “Jealous and Petty” if you do!
“Flavor of the week” makes you just sound like a bitter ass baby momma!! Do you ever have men over? Or have potential boyfriends? I used to have this issue with my sons dad, but I was just being a bitter bitch. I got over it. Now he has a woman who is absolutely amazing and treats our baby like her own!!
As long as your child isn’t being hurt and cared for, you can’t do anything. You each get to do your own thing when you have your child, unfortunately.
Nothing. You legally can’t unless you’re willing to take him back to court or mediation and get it written in specifically. And that is a double edged sword that cuts both ways.
Nothing you can do. Just like he has no say in what goes on at your house
You legally can’t do much. Just accept it. As long as your kid is safe and happy, that’s all that matters
If there’s no parenting plan or court ordered visitation keep your son home until his dad agrees to stop. If you have a plan in place. Communicate how you feel to the dad. If the dad blows you off keep record of any marks on your son or anything bad your son says. If abuse or neglect happen take it back to court.
Mine yo mutha F’n business
Nothing if y’all didn’t write it up on y’all’s paper.
Wow these comments are shocking! The woman clearly isn’t trying to control him she is worried about who is around her child and for what she saying its many different women, and I’m sure all you woman wouldn’t be of the same opinion if she had a different men around her child every weekend she has a right to be concerned, especially if his father can’t take a weekend off having women around his child if he has all week to do what he wants … but unfortunately everyone is right there is not much you can do, your child will make his own decisions when he wants ans know who put him first just be there for him and let him know he can talk to you about anything incase anyone his father may decide to bring into his life isn’t right for him because understandably that is a worry for any mother as it would be for any father
Use it as a relationship teaching conversation to your son. Maybe let him know that not all relationships work out and you have to meet new people to see how it goes. To teach him it is ok to walk away from bad connections and move one. You are already living the example anyway
This is such a bummer and I imagine very hard to deal with. The best you can do is go back to custody court and see if you can make an agreement the child isnt introduced to romantic partner until its discussed and agreed upon, but of course he would have to agree to that. I’m sorry mamma.
You can’t do anything about legally.
Sorry but it’s his weekend n nothing you can do in the end. Just mind your business unless your kid is being abused.
Go lay some smackdowns and send a message.
This sucks and hopefully the child doesn’t get attached but if it’s a new girl every week I don’t think there’s much time for that to happen. Unfortunately this is something you can’t control.
Legally there’s nothing you can really do.
Morally he’s definitely in the wrong
Wow I be livid but it’s his dad house and if your child old enough where you have a say in who he has his son around I make my statement if not I just explain it to my son how his dad a confused individual and doesn’t know the true meaning of stability so please ignore his and habit and be better than that
My friend has a clause in their custody agreement that they can’t bring a significant other around the kids until they have been together for a year. And the judge agreed to it. If there is nothing the custody agreement then there isn’t anything you can do.
You can go to court about it and argue but ultimately what goes on in each home is the other’s business.
Honestly even if you have it in your divorce papers its hard to enforce. Just keep an eye on your child for any kind of abuse but if its a different woman every time that leads to less of a chance unless your ex is involved.
Its annoying but you cant do anything.
U cant do anything about it as long as the kids ok thats all that matters
Flavor of the week? Or his girlfriend that you don’t like
Me and my daughters dad put it in our cuatody agreement that no significant others to be around her ubless theyve been together for 6+ months. And thr mediator agreed that that was a good time frame.
That’s not your business at this point. As uncomfortable as it may make you, he is allowed to have who he wants around his child. However it does become your business if there is neglect or abuse going on, which it doesn’t sound like.
It’s scummy behaviour, but as long as your kid is ok, stay in your own lane.
Get it put into your custody agreement
Sad to see that people are telling her to mind her own business. When maybe she just doesn’t want her kid exposed to that kind of behavior and have him thinking its okay.
I would take it back to court. Because regardless if ita his time with the child you have a right to know whos around. If it was the same girl i wouldnt see as much of a problem as a bunch of randoms. Not only is it scary for your child but disgusting for a parent to do in front of their child. Take it to a court mediator for some terms with child visitation
Wtf is up with people commenting that the mom should mind her business? A child is the mothers business.
Well, it can be wrote into your custody papers … you can have all kinds of clauses and things added to your agree.ent.
Just go to court for a modification
It is your business and you should say something. I remember my dad going through gf after gf and I hated it. Some of them were mean. Some were older and some were younger. I ended up not wanting to go to his house anymore
No. You can’t control what he does on his time. Shitty, yeah, but can’t do anything. Just like if it was flipped around and you had your “flavor of the week” over.
Double standards gotta chill.
Unfortunately as bad as it sucks, you have no control over what he does with said child on his time or in his home. Unless you suspect abuse. If the child starts being returned with bruises or injury.
100% is your business, that’s your child. I would go back to court and get it put into the custody agreement. I just don’t get some parents, if you only have your child on weekends why can’t you work your “playmates” around that schedule and spend the time your child is over with your child.
if his flavor of the week is not a threat to the safty/well being of child whats the problem? ( the post doesn’t include age of child either)… co parenting isn’t hard if you focus on the child not the other parents business. And this post does not include child’s age… the fact this person chose the words " FLAVOR OF THE Week"… sounds like straight up jealousy 2 me. But id say u meet random people all the time at kwick trip or Walmart what’s the difference if it’s at home… as long as this child with an unknown age is good/provided for then what’s the problem… ? Is the mom single ? Will the mom never date ? or bring random guys that she thinks will last around said child? Hmmm 2 much missing from this particular post in my opinion. You had a kid with him and im assuming loved him at a point in life but don’t trust his judgment now that yall arnt together and he exploring his options?..like is the mom gonna run it past the dad every time she has an unknown male around her child ? Should be a 2 way street.
If its not hurting the kid its none of your business tbh.
Unfortunately, if the visits are court ordered, there is probably nothing you can do. I’ve been through the wringer with family courts over horrible things… this seems like something they would hardly bat an eye at. I agree it sucks though and I’m sorry.
You can approach it and ask a question… try to compromise etc. At the end of the day as long as the kiddo is okay theres really not much you can do unless he will agree to it. But I feel that trying to have a civil conversation first and foremost is the best option. Document it well, and then if anything goes awry you can take it to court or mediation
Unfortunately this is just one of those things you don’t have much of a say over. It’s definitely not smart and it’s definitely not safe so maybe bring it up to a judge but ultimately they’re going to tell you that they can’t control what he does unless it’s proven to be a safety issue
I think it is absolutely your business!
Bringing girlfriends, boyfriends or significant others around children before it is serious is not healthy for them. Children are already dealing with the split of their own parents, Some also get attached very easily.
In most custody cases you can ask that there be no interaction or overnight stays until at least in the relationship 6 months.
I totally understand and maybe try having a convo with him. I was worried about my sons dad doing this too
I wouldn’t allow it for sure!
You can’t do anything, unless you have proof your child is in danger or he is being neglected, as long as the child is cared for, thats all the court cares about.
It is her business you don’t want your child expose. To those toxic behavior .whoever says otherwise is a shit as parent. Out of all the days to bring girls over he does it when he is suppose to spend time. With his child and build a bond instead he is worrying out pu*** over his child. Hell no
You can’t. You can not tell him who can come to his home. Is your child being abused?
You can hire an attorney and spend your money to address this, but highly unlikely anything will change.
My bf and his ex wife have a divorce decree stating that they cannot have sleepovers with the opposite sex (or live with someone) while the child is present unless they are engaged, married or the other parent says it’s ok. I’m sure you can do something about this.
If its not in the current custody agreement u could go back to court and try to have something drawn up, but also know that he could say the same to you.
A lot of you clearly have no idea how family court works.
How do you know he has these people over, and how do you know these are all sexual relationships? Guys can have friends, and can also have girlfriends and sex. If these women are good to your kids and keeping adult business to just between her and your ex… it really isn’t for you to have a say.
Been there and unfortunately legally there is nothing you can do about it.
Yes. You can actually have it put into the paperwork at court.
Take him to Court…
If there is a custody order then no you don’t have a say so
Talk to a counselor, his Dr or any & as many professionals you can. Ask them if they’re willing to testify that dad’s behavior is endangering your son’s mental or physical well being. After you get plenty of evidence & willing people to testify file a petition with the court to limit his guests. If you can’t pay the fee you can ask for a waiver. They’re surpringly easy to get if you know to ask. If you’re granted the parenting time restriction give your child a phone. Have him call or text you if dad has guests. Then bring a witness with you. Then go back to court with your evidence that he broke his restriction & request supervised visits. Get a lawyer!
Stop letting the kid go over until the dad can be a better father figure!
If you have a custody agreement through mediation you can try to get it added to that.
Bring the evidence to court. They’ll probably put a no cohabitation rule in the custody agreement unless you’re married.
I think it’s her business … that’s her child… just like if the dad were to ask her who was around. If he naturally had a problem, it should be brought up. But she’s probably not going and introducing her child to her flings, or the men she’s with unless it’s serious.
If her baby daddy is really just using girls and there’s a new one all the time, yes she should have concerns! That’s her child’s heart that can get broken too
and tbh i said the same thing when my mans ex wanted to meet me. She thought I was another “flavor of the week” I guess in retrospect so she even told me “I don’t want my son to get attached just to have you go away”
Always respected that.
You know I had thought about putting this in the divorce degree but then I realized my ex would try to use that against me also and I’m not like him and just jump to the first thing that comes up which he was indeed married within less than a year of us being divorced. My thought is if the person is treating the children OK and not bringing around anything bad why can’t an adult live their life? Now yes of course if the person was not treating the child right or causing neglect then I would say sure keep them away. Also because children do you get attached and I know this could be a problem when I was dating somebody and it wasn’t serious I would just call the other person a friend and try to keep minimal contact while child was present it’s not that hard to do because it’s only for a couple hours in most cases
You can amend it into the custody agreement… we had it in our papers the receiving parent cannot have spend the night company unless married. You have to be prepared to abide by that rule as well.
Just know he can do the same thing to you when you start dating.
Poor child ! My Dad traumatized me with this kind of shit
Not let your son go over there anymore.
I don’t understand why you guys are telling her it’s not her business when it 100% IS her business. That’s her kid too. I wouldn’t want random people around my child. Especially with covid right now. She has EVERY right to be upset about any randoms going over to her kids dads house. I would be concerned if she DIDNT care that these randoms are around her kid. Y’all are whack asf.
Sadly you have to suck it up. You don’t dictate who he spends time with. I am in a similar boat. But this one stuck around for a minute. There apparently now getting married and when dad calls the new misso talk to my kid as well. It’s FN hard and it FN sucks and no. There’s nothing we can do
If dad is actually looking for a chic to settle down with I wouldn’t see a problem but if he is changing women more than his underwear just to get a bit wet god who needs taken care of more?a father who can do all this crap when HIS child aint there or a child who needs his father’s attention and support when he is there…im sorry but no way in hell if this was proven to be happening would I surrender my child to their father to stay there until he was more respectful of his child’s needs BEFORE worrying about where his next meal is coming from…!
You can have it placed in the court order that he isn’t allowed to have over night romantic partners of the opposite sex unless they’re in a serious engagement.
Honestly, it depends on what is in the custody agreement. Some have a clause that says no over night guests. But other than that, you cant control what happens at the other parents house.
If you go through the courts for visitation and custody matters they will do an order stopping that but it will also prevent you from doing the same in the future
Mind your own business, sounds like your are jealous…
Not acceptable at all. Kids come first
I’m in the similar boat except my husband has a girlfriend who dresses naked in front of my kids and I’m trying to see what I can do I have told him not to have her over
It’s his time with your son. He should be spending it with him, not some random girl! I would definitely get it put in the custody agreement.
I really don’t understand parents that have access to their kids but don’t put time into them. Your ex should be planning his weekend around his son, he has plenty of other time to get it on with whomever he likes.
No. Absolutely should not be introducing his girlfriends to your child without it being a long term relationship and without clearing it with you first. That goes for both of you. That’s no way I’d bring a stranger into my home with my children. It’s your role as parents to protect them.
The only thing you can do is go thru the courts. Be ready to have the same rules apply to you. But any good parent should be understanding of not parading all different lovers in front of their children. Personally they shouldn’t meet or be around the kids until several months have passed and there is an actual relationship. But that’s me.
She is minding her business. Her son is her business
You can add it into custody paperwork with a court order.
Sucks but nope… not your business… it’s stupid.
Man have I been through this. Would it work to make a pact together? Unfortunately in the end there is nothing you can do and In my experience the more I flipped out about it the more he made a point to not care. Finally I took the caring approach and acted like I understood his need for dating and blah blah blah. Play nice if you want a chance to control it.
The only thing you can do is go to court and have it ordered he can’t have romantic partners over when its his parenting time. You need to expect the same rules will apply to you. So if you’re willing to give up having romantic partners over when your son is with you then I’d say go to court
My SO has it in their order that only opposite related by blood or marriage are allowed to stay overnight. IMO it makes it worse. If the relationship is serious (which it doesnt sound like he’s looking for serious from your description) I feel it makes it harder for the kids to get to know the person that they’re going to be around supposedly for the rest of their lives as family. I know this isnt quite as clear as i would like to make it but just my opinion
Yeah my sons dad does this shit it’s honestly messed up but not much you can do except express how much that can mess with your kids head
I think this may also depend where you live or the judge you get. I know of someone who was trying to make it so that the other person couldnt bring anyone around their child and the judge looked at them and said whatever is done on your time is your business and vice versa. (I was there and heard it).
I would talk to a lawyer or look up what is typically done in your area.
I mean honestly, as much as it sucks, there really isn’t anything you can do as long as your son is not being neglected or abused.
Sadly I dealt with this too nothing I could do about it the court said he has rights and I am supposed to trust his decisions when our son is in his care or prove to the court he’s not in the best interest of the child and take away his visitation unfortunately nothing I can do about where my son is and who he’s with when he’s with his father … my lawyer basically said I have no leg to stand on with this in court I’m sorry your dealing with this
I would seek legal advice. This behavior is not ok around the child considering that kids pick up on so much and grow up thinking it’s ok. He should be spending time with his son on his weekends and not the flavor of the week.
I had the same problem all you can do is take h back to court and hope the judge is on your side