Can I do anything about my sons dad having random girls over on his weekends?

If its not hurting the kid its none of your business tbh.

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Unfortunately, if the visits are court ordered, there is probably nothing you can do. I’ve been through the wringer with family courts over horrible things… this seems like something they would hardly bat an eye at. I agree it sucks though and I’m sorry.

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You can approach it and ask a question… try to compromise etc. At the end of the day as long as the kiddo is okay theres really not much you can do unless he will agree to it. But I feel that trying to have a civil conversation first and foremost is the best option. Document it well, and then if anything goes awry you can take it to court or mediation :woman_shrugging:

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Unfortunately this is just one of those things you don’t have much of a say over. It’s definitely not smart and it’s definitely not safe so maybe bring it up to a judge but ultimately they’re going to tell you that they can’t control what he does unless it’s proven to be a safety issue :sob:

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I think it is absolutely your business!
Bringing girlfriends, boyfriends or significant others around children before it is serious is not healthy for them. Children are already dealing with the split of their own parents, Some also get attached very easily.
In most custody cases you can ask that there be no interaction or overnight stays until at least in the relationship 6 months.

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I totally understand and maybe try having a convo with him. I was worried about my sons dad doing this too

I wouldn’t allow it for sure!

You can’t do anything, unless you have proof your child is in danger or he is being neglected, as long as the child is cared for, thats all the court cares about.

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It is her business you don’t want your child expose. To those toxic behavior .whoever says otherwise is a shit as parent. Out of all the days to bring girls over he does it when he is suppose to spend time. With his child and build a bond instead he is worrying out pu*** over his child. Hell no

You can’t. You can not tell him who can come to his home. Is your child being abused?

You can hire an attorney and spend your money to address this, but highly unlikely anything will change.

My bf and his ex wife have a divorce decree stating that they cannot have sleepovers with the opposite sex (or live with someone) while the child is present unless they are engaged, married or the other parent says it’s ok. I’m sure you can do something about this.

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If its not in the current custody agreement u could go back to court and try to have something drawn up, but also know that he could say the same to you.

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A lot of you clearly have no idea how family court works.

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How do you know he has these people over, and how do you know these are all sexual relationships? Guys can have friends, and can also have girlfriends and sex. If these women are good to your kids and keeping adult business to just between her and your ex… it really isn’t for you to have a say.

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Been there and unfortunately legally there is nothing you can do about it.

Yes. You can actually have it put into the paperwork at court.

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Take him to Court…

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If there is a custody order then no you don’t have a say so

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Talk to a counselor, his Dr or any & as many professionals you can. Ask them if they’re willing to testify that dad’s behavior is endangering your son’s mental or physical well being. After you get plenty of evidence & willing people to testify file a petition with the court to limit his guests. If you can’t pay the fee you can ask for a waiver. They’re surpringly easy to get if you know to ask. If you’re granted the parenting time restriction give your child a phone. Have him call or text you if dad has guests. Then bring a witness with you. Then go back to court with your evidence that he broke his restriction & request supervised visits. Get a lawyer!

Stop letting the kid go over until the dad can be a better father figure!

If you have a custody agreement through mediation you can try to get it added to that.

Bring the evidence to court. They’ll probably put a no cohabitation rule in the custody agreement unless you’re married.

I think it’s her business … that’s her child… just like if the dad were to ask her who was around. If he naturally had a problem, it should be brought up. But she’s probably not going and introducing her child to her flings, or the men she’s with unless it’s serious.

If her baby daddy is really just using girls and there’s a new one all the time, yes she should have concerns! That’s her child’s heart that can get broken too

and tbh i said the same thing when my mans ex wanted to meet me. She thought I was another “flavor of the week” I guess in retrospect :joy::joy: so she even told me “I don’t want my son to get attached just to have you go away”

Always respected that.

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You know I had thought about putting this in the divorce degree but then I realized my ex would try to use that against me also and I’m not like him and just jump to the first thing that comes up which he was indeed married within less than a year of us being divorced. My thought is if the person is treating the children OK and not bringing around anything bad why can’t an adult live their life? Now yes of course if the person was not treating the child right or causing neglect then I would say sure keep them away. Also because children do you get attached and I know this could be a problem when I was dating somebody and it wasn’t serious I would just call the other person a friend and try to keep minimal contact while child was present it’s not that hard to do because it’s only for a couple hours in most cases

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You can amend it into the custody agreement… we had it in our papers the receiving parent cannot have spend the night company unless married. You have to be prepared to abide by that rule as well.

Just know he can do the same thing to you when you start dating.

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Poor child ! My Dad traumatized me with this kind of shit

Not let your son go over there anymore.

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I don’t understand why you guys are telling her it’s not her business when it 100% IS her business. That’s her kid too. I wouldn’t want random people around my child. Especially with covid right now. She has EVERY right to be upset about any randoms going over to her kids dads house. I would be concerned if she DIDNT care that these randoms are around her kid. Y’all are whack asf.

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Sadly you have to suck it up. You don’t dictate who he spends time with. I am in a similar boat. But this one stuck around for a minute. There apparently now getting married and when dad calls the new misso talk to my kid as well. It’s FN hard and it FN sucks and no. There’s nothing we can do

If dad is actually looking for a chic to settle down with I wouldn’t see a problem but if he is changing women more than his underwear just to get a bit wet god who needs taken care of more?a father who can do all this crap when HIS child aint there or a child who needs his father’s attention and support when he is there…im sorry but no way in hell if this was proven to be happening would I surrender my child to their father to stay there until he was more respectful of his child’s needs BEFORE worrying about where his next meal is coming from…!

You can have it placed in the court order that he isn’t allowed to have over night romantic partners of the opposite sex unless they’re in a serious engagement.

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Honestly, it depends on what is in the custody agreement. Some have a clause that says no over night guests. But other than that, you cant control what happens at the other parents house.

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If you go through the courts for visitation and custody matters they will do an order stopping that but it will also prevent you from doing the same in the future

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Mind your own business, sounds like your are jealous…

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Not acceptable at all. Kids come first

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I’m in the similar boat except my husband has a girlfriend who dresses naked in front of my kids and I’m trying to see what I can do I have told him not to have her over

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It’s his time with your son. He should be spending it with him, not some random girl! I would definitely get it put in the custody agreement.

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I really don’t understand parents that have access to their kids but don’t put time into them. Your ex should be planning his weekend around his son, he has plenty of other time to get it on with whomever he likes.

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No. Absolutely should not be introducing his girlfriends to your child without it being a long term relationship and without clearing it with you first. That goes for both of you. That’s no way I’d bring a stranger into my home with my children. It’s your role as parents to protect them.

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The only thing you can do is go thru the courts. Be ready to have the same rules apply to you. But any good parent should be understanding of not parading all different lovers in front of their children. Personally they shouldn’t meet or be around the kids until several months have passed and there is an actual relationship. But that’s me.

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She is minding her business. Her son is her business

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You can add it into custody paperwork with a court order.

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Sucks but nope… not your business… it’s stupid.

Man have I been through this. Would it work to make a pact together? Unfortunately in the end there is nothing you can do and In my experience the more I flipped out about it the more he made a point to not care. Finally I took the caring approach and acted like I understood his need for dating and blah blah blah. Play nice if you want a chance to control it.

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The only thing you can do is go to court and have it ordered he can’t have romantic partners over when its his parenting time. You need to expect the same rules will apply to you. So if you’re willing to give up having romantic partners over when your son is with you then I’d say go to court

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My SO has it in their order that only opposite related by blood or marriage are allowed to stay overnight. IMO it makes it worse. If the relationship is serious (which it doesnt sound like he’s looking for serious from your description) I feel it makes it harder for the kids to get to know the person that they’re going to be around supposedly for the rest of their lives as family. I know this isnt quite as clear as i would like to make it but just my opinion

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Yeah my sons dad does this shit it’s honestly messed up but not much you can do except express how much that can mess with your kids head

I think this may also depend where you live or the judge you get. I know of someone who was trying to make it so that the other person couldnt bring anyone around their child and the judge looked at them and said whatever is done on your time is your business and vice versa. (I was there and heard it).
I would talk to a lawyer or look up what is typically done in your area.

I mean honestly, as much as it sucks, there really isn’t anything you can do as long as your son is not being neglected or abused.

Sadly I dealt with this too nothing I could do about it the court said he has rights and I am supposed to trust his decisions when our son is in his care or prove to the court he’s not in the best interest of the child and take away his visitation unfortunately nothing I can do about where my son is and who he’s with when he’s with his father … my lawyer basically said I have no leg to stand on with this in court :worried:I’m sorry your dealing with this

I would seek legal advice. This behavior is not ok around the child considering that kids pick up on so much and grow up thinking it’s ok. He should be spending time with his son on his weekends and not the flavor of the week.

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I had the same problem all you can do is take h back to court and hope the judge is on your side

Nothing you can do unless they pose a threat to the well being and safety of the child.

If there’s nothing in your court order then there’s nothing you can do. You can always go back to court for a modification and have that put in but know that the same rules can apply to you.

Child custody arrangements can totally be used for this!

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Have y’all been to court over custody? I know before my husband divorce/custody papers it said neither of them could have their bf/gf stay the night when they had their son. I could be around during the day, but if she didn’t want me to, I wasn’t allowed to stay the night & vise versa.

The judge will tell you what he does on his parenting time is none of your business unfortunately.

Maybe explain you dont wanna teach your kids you dont wanna think that behavior is ok ? Like you dont want them to think it’s ok to hop from one person to the next

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To me it’s just a safety concern, too many people around your child isn’t good and you never know what people are capable…at the end of the day everyone shouldn’t meet your children, male or female. At the same time if there is no proof of any wrongdoing toward the child I don’t see there being much she can do but I’m no lawyer. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Ur allowed to take it to court. Too many ppl around ur child. Pandemic. Covid. Random ppl you dk if any of them are sequel predators. You have plenty of reason. Not healthy for the child. One girl is fine. But different flavors. A judge has to see how wrong that is.

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We were going to put it in our parenting plan no one was to meet our son until they had been dating 6 months. But he moved someone in 2 weeks after their first date sooooo. I dont trust people this day and age. And had never brought anyone around him so wasn’t an issue for me. But it can be put in the parenting plan

Mine was bad… It was so unhealthy. There was like 9 of them in 3 mos… The judge said it’s his house… Cool lesson to teach our boys😥

Unless these girls are hookers or are putting your son in danger or there’s a court order, you don’t really get a say in who your son is “exposed” to at his father’s place

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You could have it court ordered otherwise no.

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Slap him…purely for the disrespect. You don’t know if these women r pedos or along those lines. My kids wouldn’t be going simple

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All these people saying mind your business, please know, that this is most definitely your business. Who your kid hangs out with, or who they’re forced to hang out with is all your business.

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Nope, not unless a judge put it in the custody papers, or there is a threat to the child.

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Your child = your business

To all the people saying it’s none of her business. It very much is .

I think that is sooo disrespectful, I know for a face that if my sons father had girls over he’d do it when our son isn’t around , and wouldn’t introduce girls to him unless it was serious, not for my comfort but also for my sons.

People need to learn to respect the kids of there children. And that isn’t really appropriate, id hate to be in that situation :frowning:

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What can you expect a court to say? Stop sleeping with different girls? Sorry but I think you’ll just have to leave it be

Unless it’s a matter of health and safety a judge won’t do anything about it

How old is your son? Has he disclosed seeing any inappropriate/adult behaviour while visiting his dad? What are his feelings about the time he spends with his dad? I’d focus the conversation with the father on the child’s voice so he can make the visits meaningful for your son. Also your son may need age appropriate discussion to understand about changes in the family circumstances and that they are important to their parent regardless of who is there. If you have deeper concerns that your son is at risk of harm then speaking with a lawyer may help.

Take it to court. You don’t know these women plus it’s kinda confusing to have so many women around him as well. You can get the agreement modified that you don’t want anyone aside from a stable partner around him

Tell your lawyer that it’s not in the best interest of your child!

Newsflash: She doesnt know these people, they’re strangers. So why TF do yall keep saying if you know this, if you know that… she doesnt want HER child around a bunch of women just cause the dad wants to get some. If the roles were reversed Dad would be raising hell.

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How old are your sons?

Noithing to do with you unless they are a danger to the child cause of drugs ect

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Its his home his rules, not what I would like .
Talk to your son if he is old enough about dating, meeting new people. Kids learn from watching

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I just thinks it’s stupid to have any girl over during the time your supposed to be spending time with your child. Especially if, from the sounds of it, it’s every other weekend that he’s over there, and he has other weekends free.

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As much as you might not like it, there’s not much you can do about it.
Unless he agrees to it or you can prove your son is in danger a court won’t intervene :confused:

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Unless your child is uncomfortable with the situation or something else more serious is going on it’s really none of your business. Just like it’s none of baby daddy’s business if you have a “friend” over while his son is at your house. If telling him makes you feel better then by all means have that conversation. But don’t be shocked or offended when he tells you to shut up and stay in your lane.

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What if one of those girls just has child abuse fetish or smth
Or no one likes to think about it but new girl every week… you never know.

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Are you not happy and thats why you don’t want your ex to be happy? If your son is in danger that is different or being neglected but just because he has women over isn’t a reason to take him away from your son. People need to grow up. What will happen when Facebook crashes and nobody can ask questions. :thinking:

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Well since she doesn’t know anything about his flavors of the week, they could be anyone. These people could be abusive, or using drugs. They might be ok, but the mother is unsure and id be pissed. If he wants to sleep around fine , but not when the son is around. but also showing the son that having a different woman every week is ok. I wouldn’t be ok with that. Do it on your own time.

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As long as child is not in any danger and is being taking care of his father can have who ever he wants around! Unless it’s already in your custody papers.

Unless the child is being endangered or not being taken care of, there’s not a thing you can say/do about it. It’s not something that I think is right, but you really have no say in what the dad does or doesn’t do…that’s his business.

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Sad that the father can’t take his time with his child seriously and just spend one on one time.

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you can have a live in now with small children, and they ok it-used to if you lived with some one -would take children from you and say you are unfit

Keep him home…if Dad cares, he will stop, or take it to court.

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Dont send your son anymore id be so concerned. Its not healthy for your son to be exposed to that behavior. And a father should be spending time with his kids on his weekends not with whores

Not dictate who goes over to your ex’s house. thats what u gonna do

What his dad does at his house is what he does as long as he an’t abusing his child or giving him drugs how would she feel if he did that her

When my husband and I first initially divorced it was understood and said that there were to be no randoms around our children on either end. I heard stories from his daughter about how certain females before me had treated her one way when he was around and another way when he wasn’t around. That was never going to happen to my children. He’s in a serious relationship now and I’m not but he knows that I don’t bring random people around my kids. I don’t think you’re wrong. I think people telling you to mind your own business is wrong. as long as your child is under his roof you have every right to be concerned about who is around your child. kids learn as they see so if an adult is not acting in a manner that I find appropriate for my child I sure as heck don’t want them around my child. It’s not okay for a little boy to grow up thinking that women are disposable and they should be in and out of his life like that.

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No one should EVER bring random people around their children. You can’t trust nobody.

As wrong as it is there isn’t anything you can do.

There’s nothing wrong with dating around with different people. Even if it’s a new one every week. However, it goes to show this baby daddy’s character when he seems more concerned with his time with these women than his designated time with his child. :woman_shrugging: He’s not doing anything wrong as long as his child is safe and happy. But he could manage his time differently and date when it’s not on his child’s time.

I really wish the poster would have been more clear on this, how old is the son? Are the girls legal age? You can either make a complaint in court and have visitations limited, or mind your own business.

I had this problem with my older kids dad. There was nothing legally I could do :roll_eyes: I watched friends call cops and everything they could think of.Cops just want to laugh and tell you you’re just a jealous/bitter baby momma. I skipped the cops and all that and it was between me and him ( his mom too cause i lived with her at the time) but she agreed with me. Having the kids(1 1/2 and 7 months) around random girls no matter how much he “Loved this one” or “This one was for real” She agreed with me that he would see the kids at home…none of his females invited. He was in no position to fight us over it he didnt have a stable place to live. I wasn’t bitter or jealous just wanted to protect my babies.We were all young I grew up when I had my kids he still liked to party so he hung out with friends and females who liked to party too. He agreed to come alone or not at all. He tried bringing one of his girls one day and we told him to leave. They did… He eventually got serious about one female and i was comfortable with them taking the kids. His next relationship was also serious they have been together for years. We just want our kids to be safe and feel safe around the person. A long term person and not a situation where they are constantly meeting new people being exposed to anything and everything that comes with all these new people. I do get that there are females who try to control every little thing their bd does with other females cause they still in Love or hurt cause things are over but not everyone is like that. My younger two kids dad found someone immediately after we split and married her trying to hurt me. They lived in another state but he video chatted the kids daily… Even then the girl didn’t video until after a few weeks(mainly the kids decision) the kids were hurt and confused but ended up liking her over time she seemed nice and like she wanted to be a part of their life. When we moved closer to them the girl started acting jealous and possessive over their dad, she said he spent too much time with them(he hadn’t seen them in person in six months) we had only been around for a week when things got really out of hand. She had one kid already(who she didnt have cause she has mental issues), she told my kids dad that she didn’t want them around.The wife was super jealous of my kids and said she didn’t sign up for extra kids :roll_eyes:( but she was actively trying to get pregnant with her tubes tied​:unamused:) She told him her or the kids and he told her his kids always came first that she knew he had kids when they met. He tried to include her in everything but for her it was her or the kids. When i said it got crazy fast it did… She turned herself in for a psych evaluation but when he chose to spend time at home with the kids instead of her at the hospital she cut all their power off and admitted to cheating and talking to a bunch of other guys. I always thought if she had anytime alone with the kids she may have tried hurting them.She later messaged him and said that if the kids never came around they would still be happily married :rage: I KNOW LONG STORY BUTTTTT you never know who these people are whether it be a new girl every week or around for 6 months +. I’m sorry you can’t control who he is with or how many but you have the right to be protective!!! There’s ONLY so much you can do though. Fighting over who he is with can make him not come around at all( dealt with that with first kids father) I KNEW one of the girls and didnt like her but because I didn’t want the kids around her, and him and her were inseparable he just didn’t see them for weeks then it ended and he came back around for them.

If he had a long term partner or even a new girlfriend he would need to slowly introduce them into his life and it cuts both ways, and surely if he’s having him at the weekends his focus should be on his son and the time they spend not having random women around! What message does that give your son. Children need routine and stability