He’s obviously cheating on you and sounds like a narcissist. I’m sorry but you’re 37 and you’re crying during or after sex? What???
I’ve had same … other way round … but I’ve separated frm both … hated 4 kids both sets … But k7ds an I r HAPPY SAFETY IS 1ST 4 ME… 4 MY KIDS NO MAN BEST ME.
If you have to ask strangers about your relationship, I would think that would give you a clue.
Oh hunny, the obvious answer is right there. LEAVE.
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He is teaching your 5 children how women are to be treated. Your sons will think it’s ok and your daughters will think they deserve it. Go and be happy by yourself then you will be able to be happy with others.
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Just leave he is using you does not love you or respects you why stay?give yourself freedom from this relationship it will never work have pride in yourself and walk you deserve better
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There is no hope here
Seems he needs you when he feels like it, that’s not a relationship pack up move on goodluck. K.D.
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Wtf did I just read.
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Get out now and don’t look back
You two both need therapy. ASAP. Individual and marriage therapy. Not only for you guys health but for your kids sake. If he’s not willing to do therapy I’d leave.
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Stop doing all the work in the relationship. You are making it too easy on him to keep doing the same thing. He knows its easier for him to say…sorry and you’ll forgive him. He’s using you. If you want to save your relationship, make him fight for it. Anyone can love anyone but if they dont respect them…there is no relationship.
Bye! You already know the answer but until you are ready to let go we can’t change your status. Only you can
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Omg seriously? He ain’t your ever after
Wake up LEAVE:heavy_heart_exclamation:
I couldn’t even read all of this. To much drama mama. Pack your stuff or better yet his and tell him to f#*k off. You don’t need this kind of shit in your life! You have 5 children that need all your attention.
What you allow, is what will continue.
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Why oh why do you young lady sell yourself so cheaply? What a terrible mess for your children to learn from! I would kick him to the curb. Stand tall use what resources I could…Do not become intimate with him or any other man. Focus on your children till they are grown…
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Leave and never look back.
I’d be GONE the night I found him at another girls house. Probably before then. Dont settle because someone is looking for someone like you that can make them happy and make you happy as well.
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Its too late. Get out now
If he ignores you and doesn’t respond for long periods… UNLESS HE’S WORKING A JOB HE CANT USE HIS PHONE… then you already know the answer. I can always get ahold of my man and he has ALWAYS replied to me even in the beginning.
Slept on this ladies couch?! YEA RIGHT. You already know that isn’t all he did. AND EVEN IF IT WAS that is DISRESPECTFUL to you and your relationship and THAT in itself is a reason you should have left. It’s only been a year and he is already like this in the BEGINNING? That should say alot. This is beyond saving and even beyond therapy because for therapy to work he had to be willing to admit the wrong things he has done to you, and he won’t admit that he’s cheated, WHEN YOU KNOW HE HAS. Please get out and don’t let your children see this and think that’s how a woman should be treated or your son’s to think that’s how they should treat a woman. For your daughters to know how they should be treated and for your sons to know how they should treat women, they first have to see that YOU know how you deserve to be treated… Please be their role model and show them nobody deserves what you’re putting up with… He is absolutely a narcissist and also gaslights you and thinks he has done no wrong, doesn’t take responsibility for anything, and making you feel like you’re crazy(YOU’RE NOT)…My man would absolutely never disrespect me that way or “stay at another females house”. AND HE WOULD NEVER IGNORE ME WHERE I WOULD HAVE TO QUESTION WHERE HE IS AT OR WHAT HE IS EVEN DOING.
As somebody said up above: good people can do some bad things and BAD PEOPLE CAN DO SOME GOOD THINGS. Just because he sometimes helps you and does good things does NOT mean he is a good person.
If you have to ask this question then you already know the answer.
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Leave his ass!!! Once a cheater always a cheater. If he already broke that trust it will never come back. Been there done that. If you don’t have trust n communication then that relationship is not worth it
I think you answered your own question. Sometimes just hearing yourself say it out loud makes it all clear!
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See an attorney, get rid of him, but make sure he pays child support - and have your tubes tied so you don’t have any more kids.
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What the hell is wrong with you???
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Girl ur a mess seek therapy
Work on saving yourself first. Go to therapy. Heal from your past. Then just maybe you will find you don’t need that man in your life.
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Why would you want to save this?
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You should’ve left after the first lie. I’ve made that mistake too. Liars never stop lying and cheaters usually don’t stop cheating. I personally am disgusted by someone when they lie to me. He’s now trying to love bomb you.
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This isnt a healthy relationship for you guys not for the kids to see. Part ways and become healthy positive coparents to the little one.
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If you have to question his honesty and loyalty he’s not the one sweetie.
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Leave him. Get yourself into therapy.
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This is what happens when you have a kid to keep a man
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Don’t listen to the hate comments. There’s nothing wrong with you, you need to learn to love yourself.
If you’re looking for an honest, faithful relationship…he’s not the one for you. There’s no saving it. Go be you without that BS in tour life
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All this in a year and 3 months. Think you know the answer. If another lady came to you with this what advice would you give her? Time to move on
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If you have to ask, you know the answer.
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Trust what ur heart tells ya
Shame on those who have laugh reacted at this post.
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Go and get couples counselling and go separately as well. You both need professional help to work through this if you both really want to work this out. You both have major issues that you need sorted regardless… Good luck
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girl you need jesus and a kick in the ass lol
All those red flags and you still got into a relationship with him?? Girl, no. Grow up. The best relationships are built on trust and friendship. You have neither with him. Of course he’s cheating on you. He’s a player. He doesn’t want a relationship. Just leave him.
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This isn’t ever going to work if you cant move on and he cant keep it together. You both seem to be making each others lives more difficult. Not easier
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It’s a sinking ship get out…
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I didn’t finish this either. Leave all and every man alone and just focus on your kids and loving yourself. Time will bring u a love u deserve once u know what kind of love u wont settle any less for
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I feel like when you get to this point and ask this question then it might be over. He’s not a good man. I’m sorry, but the way he’s treating you does not make a good man. He’s selfish. If you even think he’s adding to your depression then dont stay. It doesnt sound like there is anything really left to save. If you choose to save it though you are both going to have to stop reliving the past and move forward. That means actively working on issues together and apart. Not jumping to conclusions, him not lying. The biggest red flag to me is that his behavior isn’t changing. Actions are louder than words. I wouldn’t stay, but if you do protect your mental health and inner peace. No other person is worth losing yourself, and your happiness over.
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Mine was similar to this but it didnt start until I got prego with his kid. I tried to make it work. But I got smart. Now I am a single mom, refuse to date, love myself more each day. Oh and I’ve lost 68 lbs! Girl I’m telling you… drop him its not worth it. YOU WILL BE HAPPIER!
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LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEEEEAAAAAAVVVVEEEEE before it’s too late. He sounds very manipulative and tells you what you wanna hear to save his own ass. Get yourself and all your kids AWAY from that man. Speaking from experience
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I believe if you both seriously want this relationship to EVER work you need to seek counseling…for yourselves individually and as a couple. But you BOTH have to want it! Either way your mental health needs to be taken care of…you have 5 children…4 have already been thru a breakup…so now all 5 are involved. It’s time to step up and make better decisions. You are better than what you are settling for and you and the kids deserve stability…and sometimes stability…sanity and security means taking care of yourself.
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Awww sweetheart my heart breaks for you, but you asked the question with what I assume you want honest answers to. You need to work on yourself right now and take care of your babies. There’s a whole lotta mess going on with BF/BD issues and right now your mental health and the mental health and well-being of your babies are what is most important and trumps these outside relationships. Find yourself, you will never be truly happy with anyone until your happy with and by yourself. Good luck mama
You answered your own question hun… if he needs to LEARN to love you more then its done. Staying together for the sake of a child isn’t enough to stay together… your child will not thank you for his parents being in a toxic relationship…
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RUN FAST AND FAR. He cheated on you both of those times he said he didn’t and I can guarantee he’s cheated on you other times and you never even noticed. Don’t make excuses, he will continue to cheat and lie to you. You will not be happy until you aren’t with him. Do the right thing for your kids, they don’t need to grow up seeing you mistreated and unhappy.
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Time to worry about you and your kids happiness. All that fighting is not good for the kids.
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Woah girl!!! Get rid of all the baggage that is toxic to you get some counseling! I would be so afraid of all the std’s out there to touch that loser any way shape or form!!! Take care of yourself and children first and foremost!!!
Leave! He is never going to change. My ex husband ( my oldest sons dad) cheated on me several times. Ok. Maybe like 20 times…
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Want my honest truth move on with your life stop wasting time dudes like him. You can do better.
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You already know the answer. Don’t second guess yourself-you’re right and you are worth so much more.
Sounds like a narcissist. Leave all men alone and focus on your kids for a while
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I can’t finish this. Girl, read this again and if it was a gf, sister or your own daughter…would you encourage them to believe they deserve better? Bc w t h did I just read (halfway). Love yourself first, build your self esteem and confidence, set standards in your partner and know that if they cross boundaries regardless of how you feel, they don’t care for your feelings or truly love you.
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Sounds like it never really was anything but bad and heartache. Where’s the Love? Real love? TOXIC. U deserve better & ur kids deserve a happy mom, home & life. Seek professional help for ur depression.
I think with all these different issues going on simultaneously, you need to seek out professional help. You need yourself to be strong and mentally healthy for yourself and then your kids. Maybe once you talk to someone that can help with your depression, maybe you’ll see things more clearly. But you need to take care of YOU first, and the rest will fall into place as it should. He sounds just as confused as you, so maybe seek help separately
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i think once you get some real professional help for your depression you will see a brighter future without him.
Seek help for your depression. Don’t make life decisions until you have that under control.
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I see you mentioned you have no family support and hardly any friends so this obviously puts you in a hard position to leave whether it’s love or not especially depending on how old your kids are but I suggest pulling yourself together for your own mental health and obviously leaving him but create your escape route in the process. It may be lonely at first but start doing some things that make you happy and take it from there
It’s great he helps with kids and finances but those are LOW standards for a partnership to be good or healthy. Evaluate your worth because at this point you’re just enabling him to continue to be a pos and accepting the poor quality of a relationship as something worth while. You can’t turn a hoe into a husband either. Run for the goddamn hills. He got out of another woman’s car to your home‼️
I barely started reading and Nope. Leave. Sounds like a jerk.
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Seek professional self for yourself to help with depression and to help you determine this mess. You cheated on someone and have a relationship with the person you cheated with. If he didn’t respect your marriage with your ex why do you think he would respect you or your relationship? If you don’t trust him it’s likely because you know how you both were and you both were liars and cheaters to end up where you are. Not saying it can’t work but only the two of you know it and a professional can help you sort it all out. You both have to do alot of work if you want to get there. Sounds like from what you’re saying he doesn’t want to, or he wants you and side chicks so can you live with that? As a mom my only advice is maybe it’s time to put your children’s needs above yours. Get yourself well and take care of them.
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If I were you, he would of been gone a long time ago.
Girl all you’ve said why are you putting up with this? You, and only you can leave this alone. So what if he helps. Sounds like a room mate then a bf…girl let him go and heal to move on…
That’s a whole mess. Move on and stop hookups.
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That’s not a good guy… honestly you should leave.
I’m not sure why any woman would laugh react to your post 
There is so much better out there lovely. You just need to focus on you and your babies for a while and when you are in love with your life and yourself then someone will fall into your world when you’re least expecting it.
I met my now fiancé with 5 children from 2 broken relationships, 1 with extreme DV then next with a narcissist. I never ever wanted another man and loved just being a mum for 2yrs when he showed up, we actually went to primary school together.
But he is still here 6yrs on, with all my baggage(kids, 2 of them special needs, my ptsd, and my 2 eldest even made him a grandfather and he’s not even 40yet haha!)
Your person is out there but it sounds like you need to be ‘u’ and ‘mum’ for a while first 
Feel free to reach out if you need any help!
I am in touch with a few charities who help the homeless & disadvantaged aswell as helping those fleeing DV ect and needing help finding homes and furniture ect
Stop seeing him he’s lied and always will lie you deserve better than this
My only advice would be to Run away as fast as you can 
Girl u better leave that man where u found him
You have to leave. Honestly… It’s for your peace of mind. Just focus on yourself and your kids. He will not change… You will continue to be cheated on… Like literally think about it… I’d personally rather be a single mom than deal with someone stabbing me and our kids in the back. I hope everything works out for you in the best way. 
Didn’t even finish reading this smh 
just leave there’s nothing to save, He will play this game with you and other women and the game will continue if you allow it. You already have kids and you don’t need this baby dealing with an inconsistent father. I think it’s more damaging for a guy to be in and out of a child’s life then to be out completely out of it. You’re a strong woman clearly but just chose the wrong guys. Just love yourself and your children first and the right man will sweep you and your children off your feet and give you guys the love you truly deserve the first time when you least expect it. I know it’s not something not anyone wants to hear but sometimes the best path is the one less traveled on.
Leave girl he no good for you and kids to be around
For the 5 kids dealing with all three of these adults and their issues 
It time to let him go! He just hurting you and cheating on you but It’s your choice to make.
If you alone when you’re with this BASTARD you will be perfectly okay without him. If that makes any sense. He is manipulating you? You provide him shelter food and a Family when it suits him. So bye boy.
I stopped reading. How much more proof do you need that this dude is garbage? It sounds like you’re willing to tolerate just about anything from a man…you need to get into therapy and find some self worth sis. This is gross and leads nowhere good. Get out of this.
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hes never stopped cheating. you literally seen him be dropped off by a woman. all them men there and he had to be with a woman? girl you know he’s cheating n won’t stop. just leave.
If you can’t trust him you don’t need to be with him, period. He can say he wants to be better all he wants but as long as you continue to allow him to be the way he is he will never change. Leave, if it works out to where you both grow and learn to take care of yourselves (mentally/emotionally) you can try again but as of right now, you don’t need to be together. Tell him you both need to work on yourselves, make him leave and stick to it. If he does the work to be a better man then give him another chance but only if you can learn to trust him and that takes time, we’re not talking a couple months, he needs time to grow up. You need to get professional help for your depression for yours and your children’s sake, stay single for a while, work on you and find someone (LATER, whether it’s grown up him or someone else) who will help you teach your children how a spouse should be treated. Teach them what a good relationship looks like and if you can’t do that then teach them that they DON’T NEED to be in one.
I’m sorry but I didn’t read it all, but you need leave.
Dont waste your life
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He’s not a good man. Period. Stop lying to yourself.
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He’s gonna bring you home something that an antibiotic can’t get rid of.
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It was too late the FIRST time he lied/cheated. He showed you who he was from the very beginning. …and apparently keeps reminding you.
…please set yourself up for success & leave this 
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Im sorry but that’s not healthy for yourself and your mental health run
I stopped reading at the bullshit excuse of he slept on her couch lol run sis run
Hes a loser…lose him
I stopped reading and decided leave a long time ago lol
Stay and accept ur new reality.
I’ll say ask you the same thing I asked a friend if mine the other day. Did you survive a damn global pandemic (this far) to turn around and stay with a shitty man? Sis, this ain’t it… Do better. Do do better not just for you but the kids you have that don’t deserve to be raised in this kind of dysfunction. You’re going to fuck those kids up living in a house like that.
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Wow woW
You need to get it together you got six kids! He’s only gonna do what you let him do, not too many women in this group would let there boyfriend who has been out all night get dropped off by another chick! Sounds like he’s manipulating you!!
His moods are defending, loving you,old pitiful me then repeat
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Run. You will drive yourself crazy over this and it’s just taking away from your kids. You shouldn’t have to filter truth from lies. He belongs to the streets.
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It sounds like you were the side chick that got pregnant, then convinced him to give a relationship with you a try because his girlfriend dumped him when you had the baby. If you’ve been depressed for 3 years now you never should have gotten into a relationship because that will always make it worse. You should have stayed single and focused on yourself until you were better. He absolutely did cheat on you and you 100% know he did. You need to let that little boy go and get some therapy so you can fix yourself so you can be the mom your kids need. Your boyfriend sounds manipulate and is definitely a liar.
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Sounds like you both need to go to therapy. Separately and together.
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Well, at least the relationship is consistent.
Seriously, you know how he is. The question is are you ok with it? You know he’s going to cheat and lie then confess and cry. I suppose it’s fine as long as you know it’s coming.
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You want us to give u advice to save a toxic relationship. Ummm Sorry… I’m for women moving on knowing they deserve better. Can’t help u der .
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