Can my childs father get custody even though he hasn't seen them in years?

After 9 years he is a stranger go to legal aid keep fighting don’t let them go out of state

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Get a lawyer each state is different on custody ask that if they do award any visitation it be supervised only. More then likely he thinks threatening custody will keep you from filing child support

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Went after him for child support and he hasn’t been around for 9 years WHY?! If he’s expected to pay you, yes he should see them. 💁💯


He may get visitation but not custody because he’s been absent but I think the chances of you getting child support from someone who’s illegal is pretty slim…I think he has a better chance of being deported when the government finds out

Before child support file abandonment against him… IDC if he is the father or not. There needs to be some sort of statute limits for absent parents … After 9 years he is a stranger to your child just like any other stranger. Then file for full custody… It’s not in a child’s best interest to allow a complete stranger back into their lives. What happens when they come back for a little while it’s “convenient” for them and then disappear all over again… Then what they grow up to accept this in relationships, because it’s what they “know” it just damages the child more then it does them any good…


If he has the balls to go into a court room in the US and he is illegal tell him to go for it . Contact ICE you hold the Ace not him , he is just trying to scare you .

Get a lawyer cuz they’ll probably give him some type of visitation but maybe the lawyer could get it so its supervised

He has the right to establish his parenting time with his kid’s, even though he hasn’t done that previously. (You can present to the Judge why it wouldn’t benefit the children. For example: drug use, criminal activity, child abuse, etc. But you have to provide proof.


In most places, child support and visitation/custody are 2 SEPARATE issues! Just because he pays, does NOT mean he is going to get visitation/custody. Do NOT write any letters for him. When you are in court for visitation then the issue of traveling with the kids can be addressed.

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No. In Texas, after 2 years it’s reckless abandonment

In the state of Nevada if he goes 6 months without contact it’s considered abandonment.

You dont have to agree to let them out of state. That is your choice its not a necesity. If it has been 9 years since he has seen them id ask they start with supervised visits. Also if he isnt legally here just filing for support could get him in trouble depending on the state. At for waiting 9 years. I have a 2 about to be 3 year old ive had dang near full custody since a week or two after her 1st birthday. I havent taken him for support or custody because he has contributed to her freely and he sees her when he can and watches her when I need someone. Sometimes people are able to work it out but believe me if he stopped helping with her and stopped seeing her I’d take him to court.

You knew he was illegal when you made a child with him. Now it’s a problem because you want his money. Effed up in my book. And that also leads me to believe there is more to the story as far as why he couldn’t see his child for 9 yrs versus him just not wanting to. Seems fishy he didnt argue about not paying he just also wanted to see the child. If hes willing to pay and wanting to see and now he can’t because he’s an illegal and hasn’t been there then what are you not telling us?

He is here illegally?! What would stop him from taking the kids back to his country and you never seeing them again. That is a real concern, since he is freaking out and threatening you with just the thought of having to pay child support. I don’t feel comfortable with this at all!! Talk to a GOOD lawyer.

My first question would be the reasoning behind him not seeing them for 9 years. Second, if you are filing for child support after 9 years , why didn’t you file earlier?
Third, by filing for support, why wouldn’t he get a lawyer and ask to at least see the kids on occasion ?
I pay my ex husband child support and we share custody. I would hate to be paying money to support my kids and yet not be able to spend time with them to make sure all their needs are met.
Something just seems kinda fishy here.

Speaking as the child in this situation…if the kids are old enough I would consult with them. My dad was not in my life and I didnt reconnect with him until I was 16. We have a great relationship now. Depending on the circumstances kids need both parents. They can learn from having a parent of the opposite sex with different life experiences then the other parent. So if the dad is not dangerous, dont fight him on visitations if he wants them. It’s never to late. Out of state I dont think would be a good idea until your comfortable with it. He will definately have to answer to his child for his absence but that’s between the father and the child.


It would be wose for you to get a good lawyer. A lawyer that know your rights for you and your kids safety. Please keep all contacts with your ex in writing texts or voice recordings. No face to face talks or phone calls. Unless you can record such calls and he has to know your recording the call for the call to be used in court leagally. Just be wise and always protect the kid’s rights too.

I mean…do you want his money and for him to not be involved??? That is crappy…if you want to go after his money he should have the right to see his child. If he isnt safe…that is different. But you cant ask for his monetary help then say he has no rights…


He doesn’t have a leg to stand on… Get your child support u deserve

He’s not a citizen it would be difficult but not impossible, however, custody and visitation DO NOT go hand in hand. Child support is handled by the state, custody is handled in civil, family court.


It’s his kids too…although I do agree he hasn’t seen them in 9 yrs but if now he wants to be in their lives me personally I wouldn’t come between that…and depending on how old the kids are they can decide on their own…being illegal depending on ur sate is the issue. Still that’s their father and as a mother I wouldn’t want to come between my kids having a relationship with their dad…not for support or anything…dint hold them hostage to him being illegal or child support…ley them have a relationship with their father unless he is unstable or a threat to them…its not about you it them and it’s hard I know but be the bigger person…I have 3 kids…my ex was a great father when he was sober…I didnt go after support cause I knew I wouldn’t get it n he would just go to jail and no point in that…he got sober made a relationship with his kids and gave me money when he could…that’s what’s important to the kids…I wasnt going to bad talk hom to them and let them come to their own understanding of him on their own as long as he wasnt messed up or put them in danger he was still their father…illegal or not that’s their father …build that for them and not alienat them from that relationship…it only hurts them …again as long as he isn’t abusive and they are safe with him


I would get advice from a lawyer in your state.
I doubt after 9 years he would immediately get them overnight right away. If He is in the states illegally, they could possibly day he is a flight risk & could leave with the kids.

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In NC he would get every other weekend and one day a week plus split the Holidays. I was told that is the minimum all father’s get especially if they pay child support. Also child support has nothing to do with visitation so even if he fell behind on payments you could not stop his visitation or you would be in contempt. I went through this for years. Maybe your state is different.

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If he is an illegal he will have no rights. Just becuz he has to pay child support does not mean he will get visitation. Talk to a family attorney. Get ur ducks in a row. Make him prove it all nd under no circumstances allow him to take the kids. If he does he will go back to his country nd you won’t ever see ur kids again.

His legal status doesn’t have nothing to do with him being able to see his kids. If he is legal enough to pay child support he is legal enough to see his kids.


Go to court. I mean I’d rather my kids have their father in their life over a pay check… I would say no leaving the country, you can go to mediation and work all that out together. You shouldn’t deny a father the right to see his children.


He is smoking some good stuff. There is no attorney on the planet that will take his case. Let him bark his threats. He isnt going to do anything if has has not already. He is just trying to scare you. Stand up to him and call his bluff. If he does get an attorney then you get one and make him pay for it. But I promise, this isnt going anywhere. And never let someone illegal in this country have physical possession of your children. He probably has no drivers license and insurance and that is enough for any judge to not allow him to transport them. He has not had a relationship with them dont force the children to have one now unless they want it and then make him earn it, first. He wont.
Why are you just now trying to get child support? That should have been done several years ago. Kind of crappy to just pop up and demand it after all this time. But you should have been getting it all along.

You will be surprised
You NEED A GOOD lawyer! He has his rights. Being the judges job to keep both parents in a child’s life is proven daily!! The only set back for him would be illegally here, otherwise the system will want both parents involved in the child’s life


The courts look to see whats tbe best interest of rhe children, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Case statue states the judge would want a mediation (at a least 4-6 times). This would bring out all the dirty details. Thus, would her shos face??probably not, unless he wants to be deported. State would grant you full rights and childsupport. They would help you and go after him for tbs money. You have a grest case, dont let him scare you, He has everything to lose and you have everything to gain for your children!

I would request supervised visitation if hr is illegal then he could take them out of the country seen this happen too often it takes years to get them back if at all and lots of money-----

Yes! He made the children too. If he pays child support he has just as much the right as you do

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I agree it’s been 9 yrs he has no rights but you can take him for support, and he can not take the kids out of state and the judge will be on your side it took him 9 yrs to see his kids men get away with child support talk to a lawyer about it

My ex tried something similar and the judge told him he had 6 months to prove he could be consistent. He was supposed to call/write something consistently then he would be able to start visitation but he never called or wrote once! So it got thrown out and he still hasn’t seen my son and he’s now 19. He contacts him once in a blue moon via Facebook but it never lasts

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Get a lawyer. Honestly it sounds like a scare tactic to get out of support. It would take a bunch of steps before getting to that point.


It’s going to depend on what state you live in. I know a guy who paid support but had nothing to do with his daughter for almost 10 years then went to court for visitation and got it. Then after a few years ended up getting custody. Talk to a good lawyer.

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Florida is a no fault state, so anything can happen. It seems you have a few different things going on. As someone on here said child support has nothing to do with custody of the children. Two separate issues . As far as him being illegal and it’s never been a problem for you before, they are going to say you want your cake and eat it too! I think that’s the saying. I am sure you understand. I would be very picky and do your homework before Choosing a lawyer for custody of the child or children and start there.
Good luck, it really sucks and scary!

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Why is no one asking why he hasn’t seen the kids in 9 years?? Did she keep them from him? Did she take off with them? Did he know where they were? Or is it because he’s selfish & didn’t give a rats behind until now?
So many questions I would ask before giving advice on this.


If he truly is illegal then good luck. I don’t see how you can make an undocumented person pay child support.

Probably not he thinks that is what hes going to get but the fact that he is illegally here he’ll be lucky of his ass isn’t in jail.

9 years… they are close to choosing for themselves.
You made it this far…
Why did you open it back up. Buttercup you reopened it up.

The Dad does have rights to children whether ha has seen them or not. Get a good lawyer

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He has every right to see his kids, regardless of his status. However, the law states that BOTH parents have to sign for a child to get passport, which is now legally required to leave the country. If he wants to fight for the right to see his kids, he can and will probably my win unless there is a reason for the judge to have concern. As an American married to someone who was once illegal but now is legal, he still does not have the legal option of taking my daughter out of state without my written permission. You can have it fixed that way too.

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My question is: why is this question on this page? I thought this page was for what a blessing your husband is. Am I mistaken?

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Yes he can all he has to say is u kept them out his life end of story


Yes… They will give him s chance to be a father
The court system sucks!!!

I think it’s just a threat to scare you.

He cant take them out of state without you agreeing even if he dose pay surport

You need to consult an attorney. I had a friend go through something similar (father is a citizen) He didn’t want any contact with child but when child support was ordered he then said he wanted visitation ect… Judge said it had to be in a neutral area & it would be supervised due to fact he was a complete stranger… He never followed up on any of it.


Whatever state you are in,you need to go see a Custody lawyer immediatly.

In most states a child born out of wedlock are the mothers and fathers have to fight for rights. I highly doubt that he would get custody unless you were proved unfit. Especially since he hasn’t seen them in 9 years! That sure doesn’t make him look like a good father!!! Keep that child support order in tact! He will have to fork out a lot of money to legitimize the children and then he would have to pay more to fight for custody. Add in the fact that he’s illegal and the children are American citizens and have a parent that is one he wouldn’t be able to take them out of the country.


Lots of money he has to come up with! Him being illegal doesn’t help as much as you hope however him abandoning your child does hold up in court!

If you two were NEVER married - then he has NO rights to anything. He must do what ever you want.


Why can’t he see his kids,he was ok to get pregnant by


My husband is ablessing

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allright,just let me know when

Fathers have a right to see their kids too

Then again what state are you in? I mean if your talking the liberal states possibly California, New York, my state Virgina has flipped like crazy over night.


Is he on their birth certificate? And if you opened it for him to pay then he should have rights…however it’s going to be hard for him to pay if hes not documented…they will never find him… and if he is illegally here he has no case if you and the kids are citizens. Hes considered a flight risk and the judge will not grant him custody.

He wont have any rights he not here legally.

Get a lawyer and have him deported.


I would have him reported to ICE. If he is here illegally he needs to be deported. You will not be able to collect funds but he won’t be able to threaten you with taking custody.

Yes the father can still get partial custody. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t here legally. Child support is not the same as fighting for custody. So if he wants custody then he has to file for it through the court. If he lives in a different state, depending on ages, then he would take them for summer, and breaks/holidays. Unless specified by the judge. The court will always try to keep both parents in the child’s life unless there is a proven history of abuse or drug abuse.


Depends on what state you live in. But why file child support after 9 years. In some states if they go 6 months of no contact you can file abandonment charges.


If he hasn’t had contact in 9 years then that is considered abandonment. With abandonment you can file sole custody and request his rights be terminated. If you have sole custody, he can still file against it, work a case plan, and eventually get visitation and even custody. The only way to guarantee he won’t see them (if that’s what you want) is terminating his rights. But that’s a longer process. A social worker in your city would know best. But if his rights are terminated you will not get any child support. He will no longer be responsible for them financially.
Yes, he can file for visitation and custody, and potentially get it. You have a good leg to stand on for no visitation since it’s been 9 years. But as I said, forbidding him to see them but taking his money is probably not going to fly in court. If you don’t want him involved, your best bet is to drop the child support.


Unless hes a legit danger or your daughters refuse, I’d suggest asking for supervised visitation at first. Or he sees them with you around
Something to slowly help develop a relationship without making your daughters feel uncomfortable bc it can definitely be a huge stressor.

I dont have any advice on child support as I am newly starting that battle myself. But I wish you luck and dont let anyone tell you not to go for it. You deserve it. Your girls deserve it.

Pretty sure they will give him a chance regardless. You can recommend only supervised visitation for so long, and he has to be at them when they are scheduled or he risks the chance of losing out on seeing his child.
Since y’all are not in the same state I’m not sure how that works exactly…
but I’m pretty sure he can not take the child out of state or even so many miles from you without a agreement between both of you.
Not sure what state your in but that’s pretty much how it is here in Texas from what I know.


Technically I’m pretty sure after a year with no contact it’s abandonment n you can legally get soul custody and no he shouldn’t be able to you could have his rights severed after having abandoning them for that long


You probably won’t get any child support with him being here illegally correct? i would of just left it alone personally if he hasn’t been in their lives this long

:see_no_evil: omg. Do right by your babies. 9 years? And now you want child support. Let me tell you from experience he has every right now to fight for custody. If he’s truly an illegal you won’t get it anyway.
Be a bad ass single mama. When I went to court I didn’t ask for support. I didnt want his money. I just wanted my babies. Now I’m stuck paying his ass child support that he doesn’t need to make it like a single mother who’s struggles.

Child support and custody court are two different things. Just bc he pays doesnt mean he has rights. If your state is mom by default then no. Hes gonna have to fight and a judge will be like why now do they even know you

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Well that’s the way it is. You filed against him for child support and if he has to pay for his kids now then he has every right to see them. If your afraid that he’ll take off with them then tell that to the courts because they will grant him visitation. If you are making him pay child support then he has a right to see them

You’re not going to get child support from him. He has 0 legal grounds to pay it because he’s here illegally.
What you need to do is go to a immigration lawyer & a family law attorney.


Why did you ask for child support now? I would have just left it alone and filed for sole custody based on the fact that he never came around and didn’t pay… that was not the right move if you didn’t want him to have rights.

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You are not alone. My kids dad hasnt seen them for 5 years. I always think about going after him for child support but he would threaten the same things to me so i never do.

Nope, don’t quote me but I think after 7 years of no contact they lose all rights???

He has abandoned them. During this time of him not seeing the child/children have you gotten legal full custody of them? That’s what I would do 1st and not let him see them. That’s scary and wonder what his intentions are!

He can threaten you all he wants but he can’t do anything :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: He’s here illegally so if he tries to go for anything, they’ll find out and deport him. Just meaningless threats.

He would get supervised if at first if anything but if he’s here illegal I don’t think he will really show up in court to be honest and the court can order them to pay does t mean he will and unless he’s got a job with taxes taken out nobody can make him pay

Letter could easily be bogus, check w/and ask for verification/copy of… from those courts in all States involved, before assuming the worst.

Tell him take you to court then

Get a lawyer don’t mess around and for the money my kids r more important than piece off paper there life’s r mine

Let the system handle it…

My friends piece of shit husband took custody of two girls he had behind her back just so he didn’t have to pay child support and they get treated like shit. Yes the courts WILL grant him time with his kids if he shows an invested effort. It’s how courts work.

You could always have him deported but that’s pretty rude considering you trusted him enough at the time to make a baby with him.

Can’t demand money from him if you aren’t willing to share the offsprings
My kids father is in denial that this child is his and I filed with interstate unit he’s in Florida and I’m in Maryland and I know he could come after to have his rights to see his daughter and I won’t fight it because if I didn’t have both my parents I wouldn’t know what I would do every kid deserves a chance with both parents do I like the idea no but it isn’t about me at all. Her father is a dumbass but he’s a good guy

Pretty plan and simple if you know where he is just call immigration his ass and no you dont have to sign a letter saying he can take them out of state

Why cant he ne involved most the time illegals dont pursue custody cause they are scared of the courts and for him to risk being deported to see his kids says alot.


The bad thing about this whole mess is if you were still with him you would not have brought up the fact that he’s here illegally, still his dad, he can see him too


Its ever parents right to see their kids. Sadly unless he is a danger to them there is much you can do to kept him from the kids that will help you with the support you want.

I would no way shape or form let him take the kids anywhere hes illegal. So let’s think about this for a min he can get into this country with no problem so what to say he cant take the kids to see family and then just run back to his country with them and then your gonna play hell trying to get them back

Deport his ass simple