Can my childs father get custody even though he hasn't seen them in years?

Hello, I have a question to ask: can the father of my children can get the right to get partial custody of them if he asks for it even though he has not seen them for nine years, and he is illegally here in the United States.? So recently I have file child support on my ex and the letter came in saying I have opened the case and now he has threatened me he is going to get a lawyer and if he does pay child support he wants the rights to see the kids on their vacation and stay with him every other weekend and also to have a letter saying I can let him have the girls go out of state to visit family and stuff, and I just want to know if there is any advice on what I can do? I am legal here since I was born in the U.S, but I want to know what I should do? And it is my first time I have to go through this. Thanks

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Well why can’t he have visitation?

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uhm no. he’s threatening you because he knows you’ll let him.

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The long and short of it is yes, he can petition to have joint custody

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Hes the father. He can get visitation with the kids. If you request child support he will have rights. He has not seen children in 9 years and u never bothered to file for abandonment? :thinking:

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Just because your a US Citizen doesn’t make you a better parent. He can get partial custody because he is the father. You can’t just collect child support and keep him from his kids.

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I highly doubt they’ll just let him have access to the kids right away. They are his kids too though, but think about it, if he hasnt spent any time with them in 9 years I doubt he’ll start now.

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if he is here illegally, i would think him going to court for any reason may not be a good idea. child support and visitation are 2 different things and the court doesnt do both at the sametime. the most he will get is a few days of visits but no out of state. as to the child support, that is based on his and your income and has nothing to with visits

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Child support and custody are 2 different things. Technically he could file for visitation thru the court but seeing how he hasn’t yet in 9 years it’s probably him talking crap. Also being in US illegally it wouldnt be the easiest decision to go to court because ICE could pick him up

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What state are you in? No judge is gonna give him custody just off the bat. There is no relationship. He does have rights, but not just like that

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He has an “anchor baby” he can absolutely get custody. May have a few hours of visits to start, but definitely has a chance to see his kids.

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They’re his kids too, he should be able to see them when ever just like you. Unless the parent is abusive in some form I see no reason why any child should be kept from their parent. Also, child support has nothing at all to do with custody and visitation. Those two cases will be handled separately, if he brings up visitation at a child support hearing theyll felt out tell him that he needs to go file and if you do the same or reverse, theyll tell you its irrelevant.

So you want him to support the kids but not with him getting them on weekends or vacations? So only as it benefits you?

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GIVE HIM VISITS! You both made they kids.

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get a lawyer. He is the father, he has the right to his kids, especially if you want him to pay child support. As for taken them out of state, that is why you have a lawyer

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If he hasnt seen them in 9 yrs then why didnt you file for child support 9 yrs ago? And if he hasnt seen them in that long do you really think him paying will change anything?
Child support, custody and visitation are all different things through different agencies.
Taking them out of state would be a hard/firm no for me unless he lives out of state and even then I would ask visits be supervised at first then over nights at a motel or something work to out of state.

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You are actually asking about custody, and going thru court proceedings for someone who’s here illegally? This is gonna be mean but are you stupid? They use socials to track employment. He’s gonna get deported and you sound bitter. Why have multiple kids with him and wait 9 years to go after support? Why not help him file amnesty so he can be here legally?

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Fathers do have rights

So, you want him to pay, but not to see him? Sounds legit.

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What I would do in your shoes is request the courts appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to the children. Also, I would not sign anything giving permission for him to take them anywhere and I would put their documents (birth certificate, SSN cards) in a bank box so that if he were to come into your house he can’t take them. They all do this (the absent dads) in hopes they can get out of child support. I would also request that child support is garnished. You need to make sure you get yourself a lawyer too.

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Best word of advice I can give is find a lawyer in the this field ie someone who fights for the rights of your kids cause you brought them into this world and this grown man child hasn’t bothered to raise care feed provide assist in anyway shape or form additionally looking into abandonment might gain you favor on the judges side cause you did all the work after he left.
I hope for the best.

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I would contact a lawyer and discuss your options with them.

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They would probably do a reunification like supervised visits

Just be sure to say in the custody case that he cannot take them out of state or country. He is most likely saying that to get you to back off the support but get it anyway. You deserve having that help

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Yes he can but I doubt it but he will get access to his kids

We live in Indiana my stepsons mom in Oklahoma. She gets him during summer. He didn’t want her child support. She has to keep him on insurance. This is the mess you got into. If you didn’t want him to have visitation than you shouldn’t be asking for child support. O and if he isn’t on the birth certificates he has to get a dna test. Comes back his his time will get listed in papers. Keep those papers to remind you of his time. It won’t kill the kids to get to know dad. You can ask that anytime he wants to take them out of state he needs your signature. And he is responsible for getting them to him and you getting them back home. Every action has a consequence

Apparently you people cant read… she never mentioned keeping them from him. She did say he hasnt been apart of them kids in 9 years… yes hes the father but where has he been… exactly… i wouldnt be letting my kids go anywhere with whom is a stranger to them let alone vacations. And you DEFINITELY dont know what shes going through she may need the extra help… kids do grow up and want to be in extra curricular activities… and for.his legal status… thats his problem she is only to be concern is her kids. Listen mama dont be scared and be patient… the courts can be on your side as long as your level headed!!

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He can potion to have joint custody. He can do so at any time until they are 18 regardless if he hasn’t seen them in years or not. He could have done that before you even filed for child support. It’s really all up to the judge and whether the judge thinks it will be beneficial for the children or more harmful then good. Hes gonna have a lot of explaining to do on why he hasnt seen them in so long. I went through this and had to go to court twice. I have sole custody of my kids and I am aloud to move anywhere in the US. He gets no visitation. Hasnt seen them in years. They couldnt pick him out of a line up. And he still has been ordered to pay child support. He of course doesnt bother to pay so I get nothing still but he’s definitely racking up that debt :woman_shrugging:

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So wait, you want him to pay you money but you don’t want him to see his kids? Regardless of why he hasn’t seen his kids in nine years, he has every right to see them.

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When my oldest son was born, his biological father said the same thing to me. He threatened and said he wanted visitation if he had to pay. I was scared. But I was told by the county courts that child support and visitation are 2 totally different issues. He can pay and still not have any visitation rights. I went ahead and filed for child support and it was all talk from him. He never cared to see my son and said “hes just another bill I have to pay each month”. My son is 22 yrs old and still has nothing to do with his biological father.

So you all the sudden want him to financially contribute but dont get why he would want to see the kids he is now financially contributing to?

He has a right to see them and he 100% will get that right if you take this to court.

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Maybe he was supporting for those 9 yrs and stopped maybe she didnt now his status until she filed. Bottom line get a lawyer now.

DO NOT GIVE HIM THE KIDS until this is decided in court. No court papers and he can take the kids and refuse to give them back… get a lawyer and go through the courts.

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Well it sounds like he has not been in the kids life for 9 years and hasn’t paid for child support :roll_eyes::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: uh that sucks he is being a douche bc you want child support he should hv already been paying child support and seeing his kids not 9 years later. I hv no suggestions for you. I hv a 14 year old daughter whose sperm donor pays child support but hasn’t seen her in 10 years seen her like 5 in her life time. His choice, finally after so many years I said either be in her life or out of it. I would put her on the stand to tell judge what she wants. I suggest you do same.

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Yes he can see them you brought it on yourself by requesting support. Not saying he will get all that but they are his

:joy: Most likely no. He would have A LOT of hoops to jump through for sure.

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More likely than not, if he goes to court for visitation, for awhile he will be under supervised visitation because he hasn’t seen them in years.

Dont let fear rule you. Do what’s right for the kids

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I know it’s bullshit my ex moved on had another family after 7 years he wants to see his daughter and courts are forcing me, for the 7 year prior I never objected :woman_shrugging:t3:

You said he was here illegally? Call immigration. Do you really want child support after 9 yrs? Get a lawyer an a court appointed advocate for your son.

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1st things first - If you filed for child support - that is not a custody case. They can only deal with child support help. If he wanted to come at you for Visitation - he would have to file for joint custody… Which is a whole different case… If he has money for 🤷 considering he won’t pay child support without a court forcing him to.

My ex used to threaten me with the same shit. Guess who still has full custody of their kid without having a custody case being filed 🤷 ME! LOL

Under the new laws Every father is entitled to visitation rights no matter the length of time they were absent. He will be granted visitation. I’d get an attorney so you can set some terms.

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Soooo you REFUSED to file support for 9 years? And he didnt see the kids for 9 years?! He deserves to see them if he wants to make an effort. Seems like a double standard here. Why wasnt he on child support before? If you choose to try and make him pay after 9 years he deserves to see them… if you didnt want him in their lives you shouldnt have filed for support. :woman_shrugging:

Yes he can
He has parental rights to his children regardless of his immigration status

He’s not a us citizen. :rofl: so no.

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He is here ILLEGALLY he will not get the same rights as a citizen once it goes to court he will probably be deported!

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Okay, well to answer your question yes he can file in court. Not too smart if he is illegal though. But no judge is going to give him the right to take them out of state or custody. He will probably get supervised visitation. People crack me up she doesn’t sound bitter he is the one that is mad. He has made no attempts to see the kids in 9 years and didnt take her to court for his visitation but the minute he us gonna have to pay for the children he helped create boom he wants custody and wants to go to court. So, in my opinion this has nothing to do with seeing the kids and everything to do with money and not wanting to pay for them!

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If I was her I’d call the IRS or ice or whoever she has to and report his illegal status and see if she should even allowed to have visitation then be able to take them out of state. I wouldn’t let him.

Get legal advice as different states are different, but generally yes he can file for that amount of custody and probably would get it, not seeing the kids isnt enough to stop him from getting part custody

I’m still stuck on the fact that he is illegal. Do you really think he’s going to show up if that’s true? And don’t get it twisted I’m not saying anything bad.

If you want child support from him why not let him see his kids? You want his money but him not have contact with them?

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At the end of the day a judge will see that his trying to see his children. As much as you hate it you have to let him but just be smart about it.

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Those 9 years without his children could be all on you - it’s for a court to decide and yes he would be given fair rights…but considering immigration is involved, this will be an extremely long and complicated ordeal. I also wonder if the father is obtaining citizenship or an actual illegal. You would need a lot of proof that he is a bad father.

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Yes he can…however u need to speak with an lawyer not facebook for legal matters

Hell no, he hasn’t been around for 9 years, he is here illegally, who’s to say his ass won’t take them back to his country and you’d never see them again!? Hell no.

Some of you women are just vile. She did it by herself for 9 years and is now requesting that he helps financially. He is trying to scare her into not filing. Screw him. Yes he will get some sort of supervised visits on a reunification plan BUT nothing like what he is saying… why be so rude to her? She had him on support before- plenty of you would bitch about that… she doesn’t- y’all still bitch…

Sounds like my baby daddy. He was kissed after 4 years I asked for child support and didn’t want to pay, so threatened to take me to court. That was two years ago and I haven’t heard a peep… it gets taken out of his check every pay period and he’s never filed anything. :woman_shrugging: if he wanted to see your kids, he would have done so by now.

That is going to be a judgement of character really. In my case I chose to not let him see my son. He has not been around for 11 years. He also a drunk and chosen not to give up that addiction. I have not lied to my son and he knows about him. I told him when he thought he was old enough and mature he could see him. But I gave him that choice.

Why would you file for child support now if you haven’t needed it for all these years?

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Such a complex complicated sotuation!!!:expressionless:

Depends on the country he’s from and the courts here usually the courts have to decide because this involves a citizen of another country it’s more complicated then yes or no remember that Cuban boy he can get visitation if that is a thing in his country if I remember correctly as being here illegally yeah he will get caught if so this will effect child support as he is a citizen of another country he does not need to follow the laws of this basically call country of origin mind you this half asleep talk

He can’t have rights until supervised visits the kids hardly know him

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The reason I don’t file for child support. Clearly the father doesn’t want to see the kids cuz If he did he would of seen them before you open the child support case.

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He is here ILLEGALLY. The courts dont award custody or visitation to illegals.
If you file for child support he’ll more than likely get arrested when he shows up at court.

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My ex did the same thing. Yep. The fact that he isn’t a legal citizen may change it though. You have a little more power here because he could be a flight risk.Lawyer up quick

Just because he pays child support DOES NOT MEAN HE WILL BE GRANTED ANY TYPE OF CUSTODY!! Nor does it mean you have to allow him to see them if there isn’t any type of custody agreement in place. If it’s been 9 years then the courts probably will not grant it anyways not to mention he’s illegal, if he shows up to court he’ll probably get arrested if it doesn’t happen before hand. Make a few calls if you have to girl

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Take this from someone who has filed twice for child support! Both don’t see my kids. And they both were pissed that I filed! Why because now they look like the bad parents. Well guess what? They are. Because they never showed up and they never once asked if we needed anything! My Advise is file and file for ALL the child support he owes as well. And even if he doesn’t pay. He won’t be able to register vehicles, get a passport, fly or do anything in this country until he pays! that’s the only reason he’s asking to finally see his kid. He’s just trying to manipulate you. I’ve been there. It doesn’t matter if he legal or not. They will find him.

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No on custody
Judge doesnt decid joint

Yes that he can get parenting time
Yes he can see them even if he doesn’t pay up
He has rights

At least now hes showing up

I doubt any sane judge would give a man custody who’s a complete stranger to your kids. He hasn’t seen them in 9 years, that’s his fault and now he’s mad he’s being held financially responsible for the children he made. Just because he’s their birth father doesn’t mean he deserves the right to come in and demand custody when he’s made no effort for them in the past either. This just sounds like empty threats and anger. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Turn him in vet him sent back

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Yep he can. No offence but you can’t have your cake and it too. You can’t just hit him up for cash and say I want nothing to do with you but give me your money.

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After 9 years you go for child support? Judges always try to keep both biological parents involved, he will probably be awarded parenting time. Asking for them on their vacation time is completley fair, hes not a “stranger” he is their father.

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He is their father. That never changed unless anyone here can demonstrate that a child’s dna changes with time.

How is he gonna see them if he is here illegally. I’m sorry I just wanna understand how he plans to provide a stable environment for these kids to visit if he is here illegally.

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If he’s an illegal he has no rights… Call ICE on him…

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So you want to use the legal system to get money but use it against him to allow access based on status? You knew that when you made children with him! Let him threaten. If he hasn’t seen them in 9 years it most likely going to be empty threats. Either way, save all texts and written correspondence. Best of luck.

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He can ask for visitation. Doesn’t mean he will get it. Most likely he would get supervised visits till a relationship is established with the child. Also child support and visitation do not go together. Basically if he were to withhold cs because he doesn’t see the child or if you withhold visitation because he isn’t paying could get both of you in trouble. So your best bet is to file for full physical and legal custody and show proof he hasn’t seen the kid.

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He doesn’t want to start legal issues with you being he is here illegally.

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So he’s good enough for you to want child support from him but not good enough to be able to see his kids?

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This is easy to figure out.

States have an age where the child can choose who they want to live with. The age differs on the state.

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Yes he can but u can go to mediation to file what schedual works best and u can say no to out of state but yes to holidays n everyother weekend. Depends on the state here fl u can but if its been 9 years n no contact whats so ever n no money no calls then u can ask to terminate his rights. If they keep his rights they may aak for supervised visitation till the kids get to know him n they deem hes fit that can take a wile and the kids would be approvhing their teens by then witch then theyd have an option of weather they want to see him or not if the court allows theirs decisions …some courts dont care what the kid says till their 16…but woth him being here illegaly it wont go far as soon as he gets a lawyer or has a court date…id def look into that he may have gotten a visa in between the times

Based solely on the fact he hasn’t seen them in nine years, no. They might try to ease him into it though. If he’s paying child support and doesn’t pose a health/safety concern, he does have rights.

If he’s here illegally how can there even be a support case against him? Maybe it’s different state to state but in NY you need SSN

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Was he there illegally when you were with him and you only wanna mention it now to be spiteful?

Yes he can still see them, if you mention in court that he hasn’t seen them in 9 years they may do supervised visits until they are comfortable and familiar.

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Which is exactly why I did not file for child support. It’s not worth the money to force someone into my child’s life that doesn’t love him.

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There’s a saying let sleeping dogs lie. Why file after 9 years…

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Some of y’all are so stuck on her bringing up his legal status as if it’s not kind of an important factor when there’s a court case…Lmao.

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He is the father and he has just as much right to see he’s children as you do. If there are no court orders in place that is, I’m assuming there isn’t. Drop the child support case you don’t need the money, and tell him you would love it if he had a meaningful relationship with his child/children. And then send them to him on the school holidays or weekends. And if he wants 50/50 do that. No need for child support that way as he will be providing for them when he has them. Don’t go through the legal system try and sort it out yourselves it’s a currupt system and they will drain you financially and emotionally. Try to find a solution. AVOID court.

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So after all that time you just now want the money but feel he shouldnt have rights

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Family court and immigration are two different things. That’s sad if you’re threatening him with that.

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I have to comment again after reading some of these comments :rofl::rofl: This man is a whole stranger to these kids! She’s been doing it alone for 9 years? She has every damn right to file for child support. As for his legal status the courts will know either damn way, whether she brings it up or not. These kids have been with you 100% of the time all these years so he will definitely be made to pay AS HE SHOULD & I don’t think the judge will make you send your children to another country (bc it’s more than likely he’ll be sent back to wherever he came from) just for this dead beat to try to sly his way out of paying what is owed. I’ve taken notice that alot of people only want to start seeing the children when child support gets involved bc they think the more they see or have the children the less they have to pay! Don’t contact him anymore about it, handle it in court! & Honestly how old are these kids? Over 9 at the least & in some cases the judge will take into account how the children feel & what they want to do when it comes to custody. I also don’t think the judge or any mediator will take too kindly to him trying to ‘persuade’ you not to file for his own purposes.

No way I wouldn’t worry

Seems like you should’ve thought this through a little more. He runs the risk of being deported now too. Especially with this administration. So you’ll be out child support then too. It’s a shitty hand either way but why do it after 9 years? Seems like it’s going to do more harm.

I would talk to a family lawyer go for primary custody amd set up a visitation schedule. That way if he happens to not bring them back its kidnapping and he’ll get in trouble compared to you to just making a schedule on ypur own. If he takes them and dont bring them back technically he wont get in trouble.

Why file for support now? He should have been paying from birth. If he hasn’t made any contribution at all then that is your argument. He has no rights as far as I can determine.

Idk anything about being illegal here, but ANY parent can request parenting time with their kids regardless of how long it’s been. My ex came back after 8yrs and he was immediately granted visitation. Depending the laws in your state, you may be able to have rights removed. I would def talk to a lawyer

If he is not in the United States legally you may not only not get support. He may get deported.

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Filing after nine years? Why…

Why does it matter how long she took to file. They are his children and he should have volunteered to make sure they were taken care of. Now all of a sudden he wants to visit? To lower his payment guaranteed. I would request supervised visits to start
It’s hard to advise as the laws vary state to state. Consult an attorney.

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Who makes these stories up? I feel like I’m on Maury…

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