Maybe he’s being so much nicer because he thinks you might really leave. You said “I want to leave” there are no buts, I understand you saying you don’t want to tear the family apart because of the kids… I believe the damage to the kids has probably already happened with all the fighting,arguing and cheating…they’ve probably witnessed and heard plenty. It doesnt matter if he’s nice or not now. If you want out then go,trust me your kids know that things are not right so don’t make them live thru anymore fake happiness.
I suggest therapy to see if you can work through it. Normally I’d say leave him but you said he has changed on his own years ago. Have you talked to him about it?
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Your both abusive toxic people and need to really want to change and work with professionals. I’m sorry the kids have grown up with this as their normal Bc this is what they will think is part of a healthy relationship and will most likely continue the abuse.
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My dad beat my mom in the beginning, then didn’t do it again for 13 years, then he tried to kill her several times. If you’re staying just for the kids then don’t, I wish my parents would have split waaaayyyy before they did, would have saved us all some pain and grief. If you love him and things have been better than do counseling, both together and by yourselves. Also get the kiddos into therapy, you never know the full extent of what they’ve seen or heard and how they feel/how it affects them until they are fully comfortable in opening up about it, and that most likely will never be with one of the parents, regardless of how close your relationship with them is. Best of luck to you all
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You should have ran the day he first laid hands on you.
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Y’all are both toxic manipulative cheating assholes. Run. From each other. And far. And probably get your shit together for your kids. Christ.
I would recommend counciling if you really love him and want to be with him. Men only change when they want too. If you can’t get past it after therapy I would recommend moving on. He can love someone else the right way now and you can be loved by someone else in the future without the ugly past.
The past is gone, the future is not here, today is a gift thats why its called the present.
You also stated you were abusive but he obviously forgave you why can’t you forgive him?
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You need professional help to help you get tofu your demons
Get some therapy and figure out what the issues are and what you can do to resolve it before you make any major moves
You guys are toxic to each other better to separate now for the sake of your children
You both were abusive to each other. You both beat on each other. He forgave you and changed, you should do the same.
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After reading this post it seems like maybe you adjusted to that lifestyle and now that he doesn’t do that you’re not happy? Have you tried therapy? A lot of times abusers mold their victims, make them literally used to it to the point they need it in their relationship. Therapy really helps you get out of that mindset, gets you see things from a different point of view.
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You don’t love him don’t stay
Does he have the Lord in his life? Does he go to church? Do you?
Do you feel safe with him? Are your kids safe? How’s he feel about your friends? Are you working? Is he still controlling???
And the big one - what happens when he loses his temper now?
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Leave that no good sob
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This is a bit tuff and bigger than me.
He hasn’t changed. If he did it before, he’ll do it again. Not sure wtf he’s trying to pull here, but if that’s how it started…welp. 
you clearly still feel disrespected from those days. This is also a classic sign of schizophrenic behavior, as well as narcism. Something’s not right. Just the fact that this question is being asked isn’t sitting right with me.
Side note: good for you for beating his ass right tf back.
It sounds like he’s matured and learned from his lessons but you didn’t. You both were abusive to each other. You can’t sugarcoat your side of things in this. From what you wrote here, neither one of you were any worse than the other. If you can’t get past it, then leave. Let him go find someone who he can shower love to. No sense in bringing him down if you are holding grudges.
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You shouldn’t be in a relationship together
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I came to this page for sake of learning english but i didnt know i am going into new world ,i hvent seen the heard of dumb on one place. But Sorry if i hurt anyone.
You need to pack up and head out.
So u stayed when abused but want to leave when loved… I think u need counseling
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Get away ill not get better
If you let that go all that time and now that things are good you want to leave. He changed, why can’t you. This sounds like retaliation.
You need a councilor
You toughed it out for years and stayed. Now things are better. Stay and keep working through it.
Sometimes as people get older they do change, some for the better and some for the worse, only you can decide what you need to do. Some people change if they find out they are sick in some way.
Do what you want but know this love doesnt come by everyday think about that
Fight back don’t back down you are not a door mat your a lady
Sounds like you liked the drama and now that there isn’t any and you can’t play the victim you aren’t happy. You gloss over the fact that you both were abusive whether physically or verbally and now that it’s not that way you want to run sounds as though you need counselling on why you’d rather have stayed in an abusive relationship than one that is the exact opposite sounds to me as though you are a narcissistic person who thrives off drama🤷
How about talk to him? He isn’t a mind reader. Maybe he is so sweet because he feels bad for the past. Talk to him. Sit down one on one. Even if you can’t verbally speak, write notes to each other. Talk. Communicate
Hes not different, he has guilt. Sounds like a narcissist to.
This is toxic and you need to put the kids first and leave…men like that don’t change belive me I know. Your children will become damaged by this if they are not already.
You guys both suck for your relationship, leave eachother alone
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Your babies would never wish that you stay in an unhappy relationship for their sake. They need to see a healthy lifestyle as well as relationships. You can still mum and he can still dad. But sometimes it’s meant to be
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First have you guys talk about it all or just swept it under the rug? He needs to own what he did and allow you to tell him how you feel/felt. You guys need a calm safe space to do this if you haven’t. Use I feel statements and if the blame his his he needs to own that and apologize. Sounds like there was no forgiveness and remember that’s for you not the other person. It is very possible to work through it if you both are 100% sure this is what you want.
Y’all sound toxic as hell. Neither one of you is any less toxic
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