Can’t reason with husband

I have been married for over 13 years and my husband has not been faithful but I forgave him, we have two kids and bow he’s don’t it again but he claims his secret friend is just that a friend I didn’t know about for three years. He’s paid her bought her a dog but he says he was just being a nice guy.

He’s in the military so he met her on an exercise. How can I leave my marriage and make him understand that I’m not the crazy one. He has a temper, he has lights me and makes it seem like I’m overreacting, blowing something innocent up. I seen the messages between them, and he warned her about me thinking it’s more than friends so she changed her tone in her messages and made it seem like they are like brother and sister, which of course is a lie. He’s been on dating sites, pornos. He says he just bored, and just looking around. I want to leave because he says I don’t know why are values are not aligned, how do I explain to him he is crazy not me.

How does he tell you your values aren’t aligned but he’s the one on dating sites and talking to this girl? I would just tell him your divorcing him. If he asks why tell him & don’t listen or care to what he has to say in return. What he does isn’t okay & it’s not okay to put the light on you like you’re the issue. Get a divorce so it’s not your problem anymore