So my sister was happily married for 25 years ( or so she thought). Her husband was asked to work in another part of the country temporarily. While there, he got involved with another woman and wound up leaving my sister and their three children. Six months later, he became engaged to this woman (still legally married to my sister). Is it even legal to be engaged to someone while still legally married? What kind of a woman breaks up a marriage and moves in with a guy while the guy is still married? His children are beyond devastated, and my sister is now in therapy, trying to understand. It would be different if they had had a rocky marriage, but that is not the case. Does anyone have any insight as to why a man would behave this way?
Sure you can get engaged, but you cannot legally get married
It’s perfectly legal to get engaged while Infact legally married. Engagement is just a show of commitment to marry in the future, as long as he divorces before actually marrying her he’s not legally doing anything wrong.
He thinks the grass is greener.
Also. No woman can break up a marriage or steal a man that doesnt want to be stolen. That woman did nothing wrong. Who knows maybe he didnt even give her the whole story. He is the one at fault.
Some men just arent happy committed to one person😥I bet he ends up the lonely one!
It’s totally legal to get engaged while still legally married.
Imo. I would honestly be super pissed if my sister posted my personal problems on fb because she doesnt agree. A simple question would suffice. Not the back story
hardly the other womans fault… he was the one who was married
Engagements aren’t legally binding. They don’t hold they same weight as an actual marriage. He could be engaged to 10 women if he wants. As long as he doesn’t marry another while still married, he is completely within legal reason. Is it morally or ethically right? No. Is it legal? Yes.
Legal to be engaged but married to someone else. It’s only when you try to actually marry the other person that it becomes an issue.
Not your business let it go men cheat nothing you can do
Sorry for your sis & the kids. That’s tough. The focus should be on the man, who has thrown his “old” life away. Obviously there are some things about him that your sis was not aware of & now with some distance he’s found the freedom to act on whatever it is that he was thinking of.
Be as calculating as needed & make sure he pays through the wallet for this. Even if he wants to start a new life, spousal maintenance will take the frills off. Best wishes to her & I hope she & the kids have the courage to start fresh without that POS.
Dont blame the woman, blame the man!! And yes its legal. Sounds like your sister dodged a bullet. It will hurt for a while but things will get better.
No, To the wife, tell him thank you! The world is yours you are free. To all hassle in life. Let him go, at least you know, hes not worth to keep, focus on your children and keep fit and be pretty. Enjoy your life with your children.
Flip me…that’s the million dollar question. OK men think with their dicks 90% of the time unfortunately. This is why.
Yes he can and why blame the girl she’s not married to your sister her husband is
Is your sisters state an at fault state? You need to look that up. If it is she can actually end up with more in the divorce if she can prove he cheated and that’s why they split ( his engagement and them moving in together would be proof) and she can get this… actually sue the woman who helped break up her marriage.
Don’t quite get how it’s the other woman’s fault.
lol ‘he opened the door to let this woman in cant blame her’!!!now your sister needs to file for divorce and nail his [email protected]# to the wall😉
Yes he can but he can’t get married while he’s already married he needs to be divorced first
Firstly that woman didnt break up the marriage HE did. He can be engaged but he needs to divorce your sister before marrying her.
This isn’t a “man” issue but a people issue. A woman could just as easily do this.
That said, if he had the capacity to do this… He was never a faithful partner to begin with. He chose to stop loving your sister. As hard as it is… She, for her sake and the childrens’, needs to try like hell to move on and find herself a lawyer. Divorce him and make sure to do what necessary for custody to protect them. If he can abandon them like that… It worries me.
I’m usually all for trying to fix a marriage. But in my opinion he went way too far here. So I’m not sure fixing things is an option now. He would have to put in an insane amount of work to fix the trust he shattered here, and I wouldn’t blame her at all if that trust was impossible to fix.
It’s a super shitty situation… and I hope she can find her peace and all works out for her in the end.
Your sister’s husband broke his home not the woman. He knew perfectly well that he was married and went on to engage another woman…let your sister fix issues the her husband instead of trying to justify his wrong doing by blaming the other woman.
As for the engagement I don’t know.
She didn’t make those vows, he did. It’s completely legal. It’s sad to hear he did this to his family.
Engagement is basically just a thing to say. This isn’t the 1800s when there were contracts drawn up.
That said the other woman is not the problem here. It solely rests on his shoulders to be faithful to his wife. He broke up his family and moved another woman in. No one else.
Y’all keep trying to make that other woman to be some innocent person, well she is not, they are both at fault, they both should have respected! She’s moved in and accepted an engagement knowing he is a married man
Yes they can get engaged but he cannot get married till he gets divorced. If he doesn’t he can get in trouble for bigamy in most states.
Yes you can be you just can’t get married. Unless wife signs a paper (or so I’ve been told) I mean my ex husband cheated on me, got my best friend pregnant. Moved out, took everything including the two kids we share. (She had the baby in our marriage (has our last name.)We were still together when she had baby) he was not at that birth. I knew but he said it wasn’t his. Was told 3ish days after its his baby… But he moved her into their new place and it took us over a yr to get divorcex. Yall saying she didn’t break up the marriage. She did. She should have said no. Its both faults. I gave everything to that man. I even made a fresh dinner prior to him coming home from his sexcapades or work or school or partying or whatever. I bathed and took care of our two children. I even mowed the grass, took out trash. Didn’t ask him for a dang thing. He cheated for many yrs with her and others. Its both of their faults.
Yes they can be engaged
She didn’t break up the marriage, the man did. Who knows is she even knew he was married.
As for being upset with the other women if she knew about him being married and was ok on him cheating on his wife with her don’t worry karma will handle as most times he will just do the same to her. She should have enough respect that you don’t touch another persons SO and the husband is at fault for cheating. I had a guy message me asking me out and sending me inappropriate pics. I found out he had a GF and she was a super sweet person and mother of his kids. I sure did tell him he should appreciate what he has and then screenshot and send the pics of his message and my reply to her. I would never knowingly date someone involved with someone else.
What’s with all the angry faces on the comments that it was him not her? You can bet your ass that he filled her head with the worlds biggest sob story on how miserable his life was and how horrible his wife was and how they were only staying together for the kids… haven’t had sex in years bla bla bla… what do you think he said- no thanks I’m happily married then got raped and held hostage… jeez… that woman is pretty low for going there. But the door was wide open and she got an invitation and that was allllll him.
Ok for starters. The only two people who can ruin a relationship are the people actually in a relationship. Everything else is irrelevant
Yes you can be engaged while still married because there nothing legal about it ,but he will obviously need a devorce before he can marry her. Everyone saying it’s not the other woman’s fault unless this other woman was totally in the dark about his wife and he spun her some story ,
Then both the husband and new woman are to blame it takes two yes he had to let her into his life but if she new he was married and continued she just a much of a snake as he is
Yes unfortunately legally you can they just cannot get married until your sis and him are divorced
Engagement is no a legal binding married it’s mortally wrong but not illegal there no contract to engage to u can be engaged to 100 women did u love under a rock
It takes 2 people to cheat. He’s just as guilty. She isn’t holding him hostage. She may not even know about his family or e could lie and say that they are toxic, etc. cheating is not one sided.
Yeah its called pussy whipped.
I know someone who is married to a lady In the US and married to someone in a different country…I was told it’s possible to do that… now I’m not 100% sure how it all works …I was just told this last yr
Yep it is legal…
Yes, you can be married and engaged. He needs to get divorced before he can marry her. If they are in another country, they might not recognize his marriage here. Maybe he’s claiming not to be. Also, morally she’s wrong. Not sure why you would ever want to be the other woman, knowing he left a wife and kids and not think he is capable of doing the same to you. But at the end of the day he’s the one who betrayed your sister. So many woman focus on the other woman and place blame on her and forgive the man when it was his choices and actions that caused the issue. He took the vow and made the promises, she’s irrelevant.
It isn’t illegal. It’s just a promise. Sad situation I hope ur sister finds herself. Also tell her to fight for every damn penny til the death
Yes it’s legal and she’s not the only one to blame.
An engagement is a promise, not a legal arrangement.
Why do we keep blaming the other woman when a man cheats? It’s the guy fault, period. Yet, the other woman have some blame for accepting to be with a married man, but sometimes the married man tell so many lies to gain some sympathy from the new woman, like his marriage is rocky, that his wife has mental problems etc. At this point the man is the one to blame. Tell your sister to move on. Some man fake to be happy and in love . Others when they met someone New, get excited and don’t care about giving up their whole life. He is going to regret eventually. I know is hard for the kids but they have also to understand that this is part of life and sometimes life isn’t fair or nice to people. Get him with child support and move on. I am sure she still having a life to live Beyond a cheating husband who didn’t appreciate his family or felt any remorse for what he is doing. It’s a man who isn’t worth a tear or a bad thought. Keep going. I was cheated too and left while pregnant. He was with this girl even Before me , in a on and off relationship. He moved with her to Texas leaving me all alone with my pregnancy. After 2 years I got to speak with that woman, and she told me her part of the tale. He is trash and told me so many lies so he did to her, now I stopped blaming or hating on her bc he completely lied to her too. He cheated on her too and she left . Those kind of men never change. We have to understand that there are so many narcissist people who doesn’t care about hurting others and just look out for themselves and their desires, nothing else. Life continues. Until today that disgusting trash still denying my son is his and I am okay with that, my son doesn’t need such a monster in his life . I am sure that’s not the case with your sister bc her husband has a relationship with the kids. And at this point they just should focus on the kids and no one else. It hurts but is going to be okay, I am glad he showed his true face so your sister can be set free for his lies and fake love, bc if he would have truly loved her and respected her , that would never had happened . So she deserves better .
Yes you can get engaged while married. A divorce can take years…especially if there are children and mutual property involved.
Dont sign the divorce papers until he gives you everything back including your kids
You don’t have to have a rocky relationship for a man to up and leave a wife and kids. Men can just walk out like it’s nothing, doesn’t matter how many years or how invested, or how it might affect numerous children that are involved. The only concern they have is their wants and needs and screw everything and everyone else to ensure THEY are happy.
If engagement were a legal thing idiot teenagers wouldn’t be allowed to “get engaged” with 2 dollar glass rings from Walmart every other week. Engagement is an unwritten contract made between 2 people prior to filing legal documents together. Like shaking hands on an agreed upon price for contract work, before you write up the official contract and both sign it. The ring can be considered a down payment. It’s like a show of good faith. An investment one is willing to make to prove that they really intend to follow through on the agreement. You don’t have to invest a fortune, obviously, but the more the investment, the easier it is to take that promise seriously. The question is, did he get this new b-tch a ring, or not?
There’s nothing legal/illegal about getting engaged. Marriage of course cannot legally occur until it is legally broken between him and your sister first.
What kind of woman does what that woman does? A rotten careless b*tch…point blank.
1st of all she didnt break up their marriage he did and if it wasnt her it would have been someone else . being engaged while still married is more tacky than illegal but if he marries while still married thats illegal
No illegal, there is no law around engagement only marriage
Its not illegal. It sounds like the marriags is def over, so best to leave him go on his way rather than look for loop holes to trip him up.
Your sister is better off with him gone if thats what he is like.
They can be engaged but that’s it. I’d keep an eye on it though because if he gets married out of state then they may grant the marriage for the simple fact not all places check if they are still married or not. I was still legally married when I was engaged to my current husband. We had been separated for years, we were young and just couldn’t afford a legal divorce. We both had significant others. I even got my marriage license for my current husband before my first marriage was divorced.
If “the other woman” didn’t know he was married or had kids it’s all on him. If she knew and chose to be with him anyway, then it’s on both of them. As tacky and disgusting as it is, it’s not illegal.
“Does anybody have any insight as to why a man would behave this way?” Yea, he’s a no good jerk!!!
What kind of a guy leaves his wife and kids to shack up with another woman? That’s the question that should be asked.
The same thing happened to me. I was married 25 years when one day unexpectedly my husband comes home says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, moves out and serves me divorce papers. Found out it was for another woman too. My kids are also devastated. Don’t understand it. We are now divorced and I hate him with a passion for what he did.
Engagements are just a social thing and not legally binding. Say if he died right now the fiancée has no rights, the wife does. The engagement is actually helpful for your sister in court to prove adultery.
It isn’t illegal, morally its messed up.
Men are not good with expressing their feelings so she may have been happy and not noticed him being unhappy is one possibility the other is maybe while away he was lonely or even he had a taste of life without wife and kids and that’s what made him switch nests when he met this new woman also remember its not the girls fault she wasn’t married or the one making this decision he did but maybe he lied and told her they were split but still legally married…
Being engaged and being married are two different things.
Getting engaged is just a formality, not a legal thing.
Everyone’s marriage is their own business, what happened between your sister and her husband is between them. Support her but don’t get involved. Nobody but him will know what caused this. A strong marriage would not have made him do this, there’s more to the story.
Why blame the woman for this? Why is he doing this knowing very well he is still married. This man broke the marriage not the new woman…
It dont matter if the other woman knew he married or not…because truthfully it wouldnt matter to her because she found what she was looking for and the problem lays on the man…he knew he was married and had a family…and as far as others saying maybe he wasnt happy and wife didnt see it… who gives a crap you still dont cheat!! He should have been man enough to say he wasnt happy and either they worked on it or made decision to seperate. And why he did it who knows why people do it, heck he proably dont know, but if did it once he do it twice so your sister will be better off, but sadly she and her children will have to heal and go thru all the emotions.
Engagement is a social status not a legal status.
Yes he didn’t marry her just proposed
Can be engaged but not get married I guess legally ok just nit morally
Maybe he thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Also yeah even if she knew about your sister and kids… technically she’s not cheating on them he is! If that makes sense. Still he’s obviously a shitty person to do this without any conversation/communication with his wife. I hope your sister is ok and the kids
What a scum bag! And who says he’s telling her the truth about still being Married? He clearly can’t be faithful doubtful he can be honest either….hope your sister finds everything she deserves for herself and the kids and they can all write him off and be treated a lot better then this pos treats them!
Not taking sides but maybe she didn’t know he was married ?
And like comment above , legally is fine to get engaged just can’t remarry while still married
You can be “engaged” to anyone at any point legally, just can’t be legally married to more than one person at a time; though getting engaged while still technically bound to another is a real thing to do… Just sayin
Not illegal. Engagement is simply a promise to marry. Shitty behaviour, though. I know why some men behave this way. They are thinking with their penises and it boosts their fragile egos. Not bloody fair on the children, though. Praying for your sister and her kids.
Isn’t this what men do?
Prayers for your sister and her kids. Hope she gets a barracuda of a lawyer and ties him up in pieces and let Karma bite him big
My exhusband did the same thing. We were still legally married when he became engaged to another woman. It happens. She helped me out and got the problem. Jokes on her.
There is a difference between being engaged and married. I have a feeling he’s filed for divorce. They can be engaged years before tying the knot.
That’s what men do
And some women to an extent
I don’t think its necessarily illegal . . . .shitty yes but illegal no
First off stop the “what kind of woman” crap. This woman is not the problem he is. Secondly, he can become engaged but not married. Lastly, she needs to run.
Cause he is a man !!!
The husband knew he was married, he had an obligation, not the lady he left her for.
It’s easy to judge…but what’s ment for you won’t go by you (or your sister) so what’s happening was always gonna happen… doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy or the other woman is inherently bad either…
People change, people grow, some dont grow together which causes distance to form leading to seperation…maybe he fell deeply & passionately in love & couldn’t ignore it. I’m assuming after 25 years marriage the kids are not infants…so he left his wife, not his children. Coulda been worse…heard of Chris watt??
Wish him well…support your sister & encourage her to move on with her life. She’s free to choose ANY path she wishes…that’s a gift in its own way! She can now fall passionately in love with someone else now. Bitterness is a waste if everyone’s time & emotion, choose a better path
Sounds like he’s thinking with his penis and not his brain
It’s legal, just can’t get married. Selfish men is your answer. Your sister is going to be better off without him. As for his new relationship, sit back and let karma do her thing. He will cheat on that one too.
That is a lot of questions. Yes he can be engaged, but not get married until divorce is finalized.
Why would another woman break up a family? SHE didn’t. HE made the choice to break up HIS family. Why the other woman would want to be with him after this?! Well that’s a whole different question.
If she knew about your sister, a woman without a conscience
Its legal my ex was separated for over 2 years going threw the divorce process and got engaged to 3 different women and its just a promise thats can’t be fulfilled until divorce is signed
Yes but can’t marry until he is DIVORCED There is no such thing as homewreckers he opened the door and let her in his life BLAME HIM he was the one stepping out
He can get engaged to hundreds of ppl if he wants as shitty as that is but he can’t legally get married again until he is divorced. That is a horrible situation no matter how you look at it
I wonder what the new girlfriend even knew about your sister?
He can be engaged while still married… there is no paperwork required to file for engagement. Let’s not blame the other woman like women typically do. He could have told her anything including he isn’t married. He broke up his marriage.
The other woman, as she is called, may not know a thing about your sister. So to answer your question " how can a woman do this to another woman?" Its really simple when the man in question is not honest about his wife back home and I am betting this is the case.
I’m legally married and engaged as my husband is also engaged weve been separated for 5 years now. Engagement is nothing legal. Theres no papers saying they are tied together.
Agreed with what most said…it is the mama fault and the blame doesn’t get placed on him because well she is way emotionally tied to him…
However I would let it go and I mean adultery is considered illegal in most states and can provide her a great legal backing for divorce
If a man or women behaves this way I believe there was nothing meaningful to them anyway, the way I see it if another woman can take my man then she can have him I wouldn’t want him back just to do it again. I’m also a firm believer it’s the partners who cheats to blame not the other person
that would be considered adultery.
You shall not commit adultery;’ 28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a. woman to lust after her has committed. adultery with her already in his heart
Let him go on and marry #2. Bigamy is a felony. Then she can clean him out and lock him up. No way she should take him back. Throw the whole man in the dumpster.
You can just about brush. Any man’s ego and lead him astray, he thinks with his ego, nose, and bottom head, and there’s no sense in any of them
The ‘engagement’ in question is nothing official. So, legally speaking, there is nothing that you can do. It’s life. Some marriages are solid but you never know when a third party walks in and one spouse goes the other way. The marriage is over I guess unless, your sister wants to consider a polygamous relationship. It might work. Some people can love more than one. Up to her, I guess.
Exactly! You can’t break up a “happy” home. That man already had one foot out of the door.