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QUESTION:
"My bf and I have been together for five years. He has one son (13) and I have two sons (11 & 13). The last few months have not been so great between us. During our last argument, we decided it is best for myself and my kids to move out. We later talked about working on us while living separately. Our arguments always seem to stem bc we are both just miserable from everyday stress. Has anyone ever left after already living together and had a successful relationship afterwards living separately?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"yes and sometimes it works out the best. you’re not around each other 24/7. you have your safe space and when you actually see each other you actually miss each other."
"Split after 12yrs & got our own places. It was a real wake-up call for my man. He was angry at first, but then he took the time to work on us. We moved back into the same house a year later & have absolutely no issues."
"My teacher did this with her husband and she said it was the best for their relationship and they spent weekends together. Gave them time to do their own day to day life."
"I don’t have solid advice, In my case - My bf & i had to live separate after 2 yrs for financial reasons . Its definitely rough with our own stressors (I have our son, Opposite work schedules etc) but i think its helped to figure out if we honestly want a house/Grow together in the future."
"We did, we separated but continued together. Got engaged, married, had more trials, and more, all the while deciding to stay together for a future, still trials (teenagers) kids grew up Got married/moved out, we now have zero arguments. Raising a blended family takes lots of work and dedication, and oh so rewarding, when they grow up. We now have a 14 yr old of our own. So much easier, still not perfect."
"Yes do it! As long as you trust each other the space will help!"
"I think if you are constantly arguing and both are miserable because of day to day stress and arguing maybe you either need to try couples therapy but if that doesn’t work you will know if it’s time to move on. Trust your gut. But living apart is still a relationship I know people who are married and live apart there marriage is strong. Keep going mama, you got this"
"Why not. Let it be an opportunity to work on you and your happiness. While working on your relationship. Life is hard. Sometimes we need to work on ourselves and not have the constant stress and anger of life brought into the relationship"
"I know older couples who get married but stay in their own homes. If it works, it works! Marriage counseling is always useful."
"Me and my fianće are living seperately. We have a 1yr old son and I’m expecting. It takes work to do so alot of trust and communication of course but if you 2 really want it to work you will both make it work. I have boundaries as we were arguing alot due to his drinking but now I have my own home and I have our son he has his own place so he can work on himself and get the help he needs to stay sober."
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