Make unannounced visits just to
Look in on her and see what she doing.
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She’s obviously terrified. Is there cameras in every room at that daycare? Have your daughter checked out thoroughly by her pediatrician. Don’t take any chances.
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My kids used to do that at 2 and 3. I would walk them in and the teachers would distract them and then id literally run out the door. After about 20 mins of crying they stopped and would go one about their day
I would change daycare. Then if the problem persists I’d go with anxiety separation . You know ur child best does she normally play with other children? How does she respond to other people outside day care? Watch closely ur child could be being mistreated by someone at daycare, most often another child bullying and even daycare workers in some cases.
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What do the staff tell you. Does she settle down after awhile or is she upset all day. I worked in a daycare for years & there weren’t many times a parent had to be called because a child cried all day. Keep at it… it will get better. Good luck with your schooling.
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My child was also only used to me and her. At first she loved the daycares I took her to. Went in and hardly noticed I left. But at one in particular, she started freaking out, which was not normal and cried when I left. Not long after, one time I went in and there was only 4 kids there at the end of the day and my daughters face was COVERED in dried snot. Nobody cared to wipe her face or anything. There were other signs that she was just not being given the care and attention she needed. I took her to a new daycare, an once again she enjoyed being there and did not have an issue when I left. Hard to tell whats going on unless you can be there to see whats going on. Some places just have low standards and workers are burnt out, theres a bully kid and the caregivers arent intervening or any number of things. I would attempt to try a new daycare and see if that helps.
𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦 𝑛 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑘 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑘.
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My son still does this and he’s 9 
I don’t think I have many things to offer here…my heart breaks for you and your little one and I will pray that you and your baby can find some comfort through this difficult time 
for you it’s knowing deep down you’re bettering yourself and doing your best. Also a few comments I’ve seen is that it will pass soon for your baby. Hugs to you both 
Watch their videos or log in and watch, surprise visits, find new care!
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Have you tried practising leaving her at home?
So if someone is able to watch her. Say goodbye to her tell her Youl be back very soon and walk out the house stay away for 2 minutes and come back. Then try about 5 minutes. Then maybe 10 minutes. Go for a little walk around the block. She will start to realise that when you leave you DO come back for her. My mum did this with me and it worked I was so clingy apparently lol x
Make sure there is nothing going on at the daycare. I dont believe separation anxiety is just something that happens out of the blue. I suggest changing daycares and see if that helps. Kids dont just act up out of the blue like this. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Especially when it comes to our children
Could be separation anxiety, but u never know, I put my second child in one and he was crying constantly we gave it time but felt something was off with his key worker and I walked into the nursery before it was time to pick him up and watched through the glass window on the door to his room and he was still crying lying on the floor and the key worker was standing over him with her hands on hips, I was furious she was not comforting him just watching him with a smirk on her face, I never put him back there after then, I didn’t trust her
Probably cause she’s with you 24/7 and older now she’s changed
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Separation anxiety by the sounds of it. This happened to my daughter when she was around 6 years so older than your daughter. It went on for weeks. She would be happy to walk to school but as soon as she needed to go in she would cry and try to pull me the other way. Staff were lovely and would come and meet us with one of her friends so they could walk in together and I would reassure her i would be back to pick her up. 10/15 minutes later she would be happy in school and then we repeat it every day. Keep going it wont last forever and despite feeling the worst mam ever as you walk away your really not x
My child did this but apparently as soon as I was out of site ge would stop and be happy
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A lot of kids do the same you will probably find with in minuets of you leaving she is quite happy to be there they would call other wise I know it’s awful leaving them up set my son still goes through phases of it now an he’s 5 just persist an she will come around again xx
My kid cries and tries to escape every morning BUT he has a great day every day
They’re honestly ok when they’re inside
My son was exactly the same. He settled after 5 minutes though. Id ask the staff if she settles quickly. Is she happy when you pick her up ? Does she have any unexplained bruising ? If she’s still upset when you collect her there might be a problem at daycare but id put it down to mom leaving her .
Try some shorter settling back in sessions rather than just putting her back in full time. It’s perfectly normal for a child to start showing signs of separation anxiety after being by mums side all the time for so long even if the child was fine with nursery before.
I’ve seen it, children who loved nursery before lockdown, come back after a year off and have major separation issues with parents. If the nursery staff are doing their jobs properly they will be doing everything they possibly can to calm and soothe your child, it will just take time to get your daughter settled back into a routine being away from you.
My 3 yr old is exactly the same. She should of started last September, but couldn’t manage to go in. So I’d walk her round to get used to it but would never go in. She managed to go in when all the kids went bk after covid lockdown. But then a couple weeks before the 6 week hols She refused and broke down again. I’m not sure what she will do when it’s time to go bk next week. I’m hoping she will be able to go in. X
Watch how other kids react to drop off time. If they are calm and you don’t think your daughter is getting better after a week of drop offs it could separation anxiety or something going on between them and your daughter. If all the kids seem like drop off is a problem for them get in contact with the other parents and figure out what the problem is…it’s likely to be a teacher if all the kids are the same age range. Never assume that the other adults there are watching out for abusive behavior from staff. They are only making sure it isnt coming from you…
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Genevre Lola Adams this is an interesting read with the comments, very similar to Lennon xx
It gets easier. Have you tried going early so you have more time dropping off? If you have around 10-15 minutes maybe she can transition into an activity? Blessings to you
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She probably settled down right after you leave a lot of Mother’s tummy there that kids have a temper tantrum while dropping them off at daycare or school but it’s a few minutes after I’m gone she just settled right down it has to be done they have to learn it’s heartbreaking but they have to learn
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Be careful. My daughter, when she was little, behaved the same way, she didn’t even want to get out of the car, she held on to the seat so that I wouldn’t take her to daycare. It happened three times and I changed daycare. She never cried in the new one. I advise you to find a new place, obviously something is happening that she can’t explain to you
Did you ask her I mean my 3 year old could tell me if something was wrong 
Kids are fine as soon as you leave them. Think they do it just to upset you. It’s for their own benefit that they go to pre school as prepares them for school which they have to go to . It is often a problem getting them there but once there even if they cry and play up they soon stop . Worked in a pre school for a few years quite a while ago but it is very common and soon settle and I know they enjoy it when there.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could daycare be traumatizing my 3 year old? - Mamas Uncut
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My son did the same thing it took a week or two of crying and screaming when I left but now he walks in like he owns the place lol
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Sounds like separation anxiety
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My son normally did well going to daycare then all of a sudden started crying or throwing tantrums. And later found out they would hurt him while he was there.
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She’s just used to being with you. Keep just dropping her off. Try to make drop off quick. I’m sure she stops less than 5 minutes after you leave
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Find another daycare
Daycare- not necessarily. It’s separation from you.
If it’s separation anxiety, they usually only fuss and cry to get a reaction from you, but once parents leave, they’re fine. It’s healthy for children to have socialization and get used to other people.
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It’s kind of an age thing. Does she continue to cry, or go play after you’ve gone?
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If it’s been happening for a couple of weeks I would definitely question what is going on. If it’s only a few days, I’m sure everything is fine. And if it’s nothing, she is probably fine .2 seconds after you get out the door.
Give her a hug. Read a book about going to school. Tell her mom is going to grown up school.
And leave. Great her with a hug when you see her. Ask what one thing did she do today. Remind her she’s a big girl
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She got used to big with you for a year it’s readjustment thing. I teach at a daycare and we see this all the time.
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When my daughter was 3 we started her in pre k 3 and she was HORRIBLE! She would kick,scream, escape her room to run after me along with her teacher chasing her. I felt the same way so after a month I took her out of school she is now 6 and has done the same thing the past 2 school years. They still have to drag her in! Some kids its hard to be away from their parent. And in my daughters case just hate school!
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At 3 they aren’t sure if you’re coming back. So they’re worried and scared. I’d say if she hasn’t warmed up after 2-3 weeks something isn’t right.
Ask questions to the care givers, see how she is during the day. Be vigilant and see if it could be the daycare. Go by your gut instinct.
I would ck the staff
Perhaps ask provider how she acts after you leave, if she goes off playing, separation anxiety, however I would def be alert for any unexplained bruises or behavior other than crying when you leave, good luck 
Pre-K teacher here. It’s separation anxiety. She’s ok. Start talking up going to day care. How much fun she’s going to have on the playground, with the art supplies, at circle time. Ask her to listen closely to the songs her teacher sings so she can teach them to you. Make a drop off routine and stick to it. “When we get to school, mama will give you two hugs, one big kiss and a high five, then you get to go have fun”. Stick to it. The longer you linger, the harder it is to leave and the harder it is for her to let you go. Call in the middle of the day and ask to speak to her teacher. Ask her teacher to email you pictures during the day. Three is a big year full of big emotions. She will be okay, really.
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In three year olds separation anxiety is pretty normal. I’m a teacher for this age and I can assure you I’ve never had a kid cry longer than 5-10 minutes at drop off, unless they were sick. Work on setting a morning routine to make it easier on your little to know what’s coming next. And ask their teacher if they’d mind getting ahold of you when they calm so you’re not worried all day. Make sure you always talk about her school in a positive way that gets her excited.
Also, I’ve had kids who have cried every morning and kids who stopped after a week. Every kid has their own coping mechanisms. We hope they’ll get used to the routine but they don’t always. Crying at drop off is not an immediate red flag.
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I have worked in Daycare for 11 years and can assure you it’s separation anxiety 
she’s so used to being with you, it’s hard to see you leave. The best thing that works is for mommy and/or daddy to give hugs and kisses and leave! The tears always quit fast and it is sad knowing you leave upset. Time helps, however, IF you feel it’s the daycare ALWAYS go with your first instinct! Give it a good 30min to an hour and just call her school to check on her 
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Separation anxiety…3 to 5 year olds…especially youngest child…its norm.make your good byes short and sweet…
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Give her a hug / kiss , reassure her you will be back to get her at the end of the day .
Ask the providers how she does when you leave! She could be totally fine after you leave .
She needs to get used to . Like you said you have no other option but daycare while you go to school and when your done school your going to need daycare for when your work .
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My mom always left me and I still hung around her leg until 5yrs old… I still remember me crying and telling her not to leave me. I can’t remember why I didn’t want her to leave lol. But I LOVE MY MOMMA and thank her for all her sacrifices because kids be crazy . I have 2 of my own now lol… my oldest started prek and thank God no fuss. She loves it. My daugther never went to daycare nor did any other family member took care of her. I was a little sad she didn’t cling to me at drop off lol
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I’d ask staff how long she’s upset for. If she calms down right away after your gone I wouldn’t worry it sounds normal if it takes ages and she’s never really relaxed I’d be more concerned about what’s going on
I noticed that it usually happens when you drop them off. When you pick her up does she want to stay and play? That’s how mine was… he didn’t want to leave. If that’s not the case maybe you need to look b.c. at a different daycare where she will be happy.
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How does she do during the day when you aren’t there?
My 3 year old son has been in daycare since he was weeks old. However, he recently started doing the same thing when I drop him off. Daycare says he’s perfectly fine a few minutes after I leave and is always happy when I pick him up.
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She has to get used to it again eventually she will see that you always come get her but no not traumatizing
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She is having separation anxiety. It will take her time to get use to going back to daycare since she was with you for so long.
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My son did the same when he started at 3. I’ve unfortunately had to reintroduce him a few times because of covid, and he reacted the same every time. That said, he always adjusted eventually… a little better every time. The last time he was 4.5 and he only needed maybe 2-3 days before he realized the fun he was going to have there. 
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Covid has destroyed a lot of social development, it will take time. It takes about 3 weeks for a child to get used to childcare.
Can the caregivers calm her down after some time?
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Sounds like separation anxiety
My daughter had it for a long time. She cried every morning for the first two weeks of Preschool. She’s ten now and has gotten a lot better.
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My kids are young adults now and still tell me how much they hated the one daycare they were in. Which I had started to notice so I had moved them.
Mine did that always until about a month into preschool. Some kids are super emotional and bonded. Don’t make a big issue of going…hugs, see you soon, and go. It’s harder on us than them honestly. They know when they cry, we melt.
So what is most important to you; university or your child? That simple!
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My daughter is like this as well and I’m going to be putting her in daycare. My biggest fear is that they’ll be mean to her because she is crying.
Sounds like seperaration anxiety. Try reading her books and discussing you leaving with her. and have her teachers read her books about parents leaving and coming back. I used to work with children and believe me your baby is not the only one. But her teachers should be making it a a part of their lesson plans if she is having a hard time. This is the book we used to use.
This is normal for her age.
Normal for a three year old
Could be social anxiety could be something more. Never know, my daughter did this at a daycare and I found out they would yell at the kids and stuff, switched daycares and she was just fine.
Huge red flags for abuse going on. Do not put your child back in their care!
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My boys both did the same thing and as soon as they couldn’t see me they were perfectly fine. Is she crying when you pick her up or throughout the day? If so then I would be worried but not if just dropping her off
Something, someone there is traumatizing her. Listen to your child. Protect your child.
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She probably just got used to being home with you and needs time to readjust. If you start noticing any unusual behavior at home then I’d start to worry. Children that are being traumatized will usually act out at home.
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Kids cry when parents leave…she will be fine. I can’t deal with this group anymore. So many stupid common sense questions. Seems like anyone asking questions are like 12 and not ready to be a parent. It’s ridiculous. Assuming the person who asked this is an adult grow the hell up. It is part of being a parent. Bringing my child to school at first made me cry but I dealt with it and moved on didn’t ask some ridiculous question in a FB group. Kid is going to cry at first but will be fine in the long run. Stop being a damn helicopter mom
Maybe try dropping off like 10 minutes earlier and helping her settle in and get started. Maybe that extra time to acclimate with you there would help. Prepare her, tell her that since she’s having a hard time mommy is gonna take her a little earlier to help her be comfortable. Then drop it to 5 then maybe other day if still necessary.
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Yeaaaah but he’ll get used to it. Like we used to do 
I had separation anxiety from my mom and her @$$ would still leave me.
Normal for her age, super crappy stage but it’ll pass
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I always called the Day Care to see if she was okay.
They said as soon as I left that she was fine.
Although I did show up early several times.
At one Day Care they were horrible and I yanked her out telling the woman to find a job that she loves rather than torturing the children.
I found a better one.
Just do an early drop in!
My son was like this when I dropped him off at preschool (he was 3 also) for weeks he would cry when I left. The first week was the worst. He slowly stopped and the crying didn’t last. Kids honestly try and guilt their parents by crying. I babysit several kids and they all try the crying at drop off and as soon as their moms are out of site they are perfectly find and no more tears. I totally understand where your coming from tho I wanted to pull my kid back out of school that first year but I knew he had to go for speech classes
My child was being beaten by a social worker’s kid at daycare. Bit, choked, head slammed into the ground. Listen to your kid. Look for marks and bruises, ask where they came from.
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I freaked out every time my mom dropped me off it was preschool not day care…but I wouldn’t let her leave and she says I cried hysterically. She said the teacher always told her as soon as she was out of the parking lot it was like I knew instantly and would start laughing and playing with the other kids. One time apparently I was having too much fun and didnt want to go. Dad was suppose to pick me up but Mom did and I was mad that she showed and not him and started screaming she was not my mommy and they would not release me to her…the teacher said her Dad usually takes her and picks her up and my poor mom was like I know but he is stuck at work. They called Dad to come get me and when he asked why I said i was happy playing with Richie and mom came early I wasnt done and mad you didnt come. I traumatized my Family but preschool and daycare did not traumatize me.
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Extra communication with her teachers. Come up with a plan that work for you all. What’s easiest? A hug and you leave? Hand her straight to a teacher for comfort? Ask questions. How long does she cry for? What usually calms her down?
I’m an early childhood teacher and I always reassure The parents that their child isn’t crying all day long.
Remind her that mommies and daddies ALWAYS come back. hope something works soon.
If you truly feel abuse is going on make sure you examine her before and after care and be sure to ask and be on top of their injury report policy.
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I would be concerned.
abuse goes on all the time at day care hence why I’m never putting mine In daycare
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Get a personal nanny… in my personal opinion I would never stick my baby in a daycare unless my kids can speak on behalf himself to let me know if he likes where he is… listen to your baby… he ain’t crying for nothing. when you like being somewhere … your content and happy. It’s the same for a nanny you have to go through a few to find a good one… this is how you know you found a really good match for your baby … anywhere… THEY DONT CRY WHEN YOU LEAVE. Simple.
Could be just her age… my kids cry for me sometimes. How long has she been back? I would give it a couple weeks but if its still going on after that i would maybe try a different daycare. My 8 year old now would do this in the mornings when he was 3 and in Headstart but then it sloweed down and only happened every once in a while. My 2 year old cried the first couple times at a new daycare but then after a week or so she was fine. Just always go with your gut. Theyre so used to being with us its hard when they cant be.
I’ve worked in childcare for 10 years before I had my daughter. This is normal behaviour for a child. She’s had a year off so she wouldn’t remember what it was like before, your her safe zone and she’s relied on you for the past year.
It’s all new for her again, give her time and she’ll settle in.
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As a preschool teacher all you guys saying “red flags of abuse”, :someone there is traumatizing her", or anything of that sort… have you ever dealt with other people’s kids? And no I don’t mean family and friends kids… I mean complete strangers kids… because I can tell you especially kids at a young age who have been with only mom and dad then get put into daycare cry for mom or dad when dropped off all the time. To the person asking this… Idk about the center you have your daughter in but both the centers I’ve worked at would send mom or dad a picture of their child, normally within 5 minutes of the parent leaving, of that child completely happy and playing with the other kids. And I’ve always told parents the longer they linger near the child at drop off the longer the child will cry because they are hoping you give in and just keep them with you like they have been doing for however long. It’s not to be mean but the faster a parent is out of sight the faster the child adjusts to not staying with the parent
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Its her age and the fact that she spent a year away from it. I have 4 kids and they all did this at that age. I have a 3 year old daughter and she has been going to her daycare for almost a year and still sometimes cries at dropoff but every day i pick her up and she says she had the best time ever and all her friends are there. It’s just separation anxiety and totally normal. If you’re really worried just call the daycare half hour after you leave and i guarantee your kiddo will be adjusted and more content.
Ask if your child settles after you leave, trust me my 2 yr old does this and there is definitely no abuse…he is fine once i leave
My son did this for a week. I would leave him crying and call the centre when I got into my car. By the time I walk to the car my son stopped crying and was happily playing. I would hear him in the back ground and they would ask him questions and he was talking normally without sounding sad. Sometimes, it’s just that your leaving and they are trying to see if you would give in.
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My exes mom used to run an in home daycare and she was so mean to the kids
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As a mom of three this really just sounds like separation anxiety. All of my kids cried when dropping them off at daycare for the first month or so. As they got use to it and found friends etc they started to like it. My oldest and middle would calm down when I left but my youngest would cry for most of the day. No there wasn’t abuse he was just home with me longer and started daycare at a older age. It’s normal for them to want to stay at home with you most daycares even let you know that they are gonna cry and throw tantrums for awhile. They will also do this when school starts even when they become teenagers so you best get use to it lol.
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Kids get separation anxiety. Not all of them but some. Sometimes you have to be firm and reassuring. If they aren’t exhibiting the same behavior once you leave or throughout the day, then there is no reason to believe it’s daycare related. Sometimes it’s parent related. Go early and peak in on her. Maybe choose a daycare that can let you log in and see your child. Maybe take her early and leave then wait 15 minutes and check on her through the cameras or the window is she can’t see you and if she’s interacting, then she’s fine.
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Happens around that time. I have 5 kids. 3 are over age three they all went to school all their lives. Around three they start to freak out.
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Don’t ignore her feelings sometimes our kids try to tell us things that we do not see or that we don’t know about that they are aware of. Maybe her being this little is not a great idea for you to go back to the University yet, she is young as she cannot defend herself against anyone that she doesn’t feel comfortable around. I used to leave my daughter with my mom while being in college but I knew for a fact that she was in great hands. My daughter being a baby and so little I never trusted daycares or anyone else that I didn’t knew to take care of her.
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My oldest was like this every day til she was 4 (she started daycare at 2 1/2). I knew it wasnt the daycare as her sister also went to the same daycare. She always had great stories about her day but drop offs broke my heart. I got her and I a special locket and told her that if she misses me she can hug it and I’d feel it and could hug her back. I also told her teacher if she was having a really hard time and hugging it more then normal to send me a message. But I only got a message once. She is 24 now and a momma herself and still talks about the locket and how much it helped her.
Her teacher would also let me know at what times she was hugging it so i could tell her I felt it. ie playtime, rest time, if she was upset or really excited. My daughter loved that I could feel it and she was positive she could feel my hugs too. Some days I would say I had a rough day and she would light up and say she felt my hugs and gave me extra back and ask if it helped my day get better, of course it always did.
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Change daycares, my son started having behavioral issues at a daycare he was at almost 2 years. The only thing that changed was a new teacher, he ended up getting kicked out and everything cleared up after I changed his daycare. Trust your gut, you never know if it’s another kid there or a teacher.
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How long has she been back in daycare for? Cause it could just be separation anxiety if it hasn’t been long but if you’re going on a month or more and she’s still flippin out I’d be concerned with the daycare itself.
Eh… redflags about that daycare. Maybe try out something different
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Maybe ask her why she doesn’t want to go in, is it another child? Is it a practitioner? Does she not want to be away from you?
I work in childcare and it’s very common for children who haven’t been in a nursery setting for a long time to get upset when leaving parents at the door, it’s the separation, I give most children 2 weeks before they are more than use to coming in without being upset. Or some adjust and are upset when leaving mum/dad but once we’re in the room their distracted by the games and activities going on.
If she is still upset after a few weeks (if she is going everyday, if she’s only going a couple days a week time may vary) then id definitely sit down with the manager and her key worker to come to some sort of agreement to make her experience better for her, maybe taking in some photos of you, a toy from home etc.
If not it just might not be the nursery for her and a slower paced environment might suit her better with a childminder or nanny 
Hope this helps
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Pretty normal behavour she’s prob fine once u have gone not long after it’s daunting for them at first but they also have a great time wen they are their why does everyone have to think the worse abuse lol wat coz a kid crys wen being dropped of at nursery which is normal does not mean they are being abused lol
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I personally work in a childcare center, a lot of children have been home with their families due to the pandemic and they come back and it’s like they never have been before. It’s a separation anxiety since they have been with one person for so long. Trying finding like a comfort item or it will take time, not sure how long they have been back but my center said a full time child takes at least 3 weeks to fully adjust and 6 weeks for part time.
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