Custody modification pending - need advice 
LONG POST ALERT - sorry in advance 
My ex husband and I have been officially divorced just over a year, and living in separate towns for about a year and a half now. My son just turned 2 when I left.
A little background - my ex was extremely verbally/emotionally abusive. He was controlling and what I would consider a narcissist. Regardless of what he did to me, I made a genuine effort to keep it separate from our child. I am confident that I went out of my way to keep their relationship in tact, FaceTiming at bedtime and more despite living 5 hours away. I was cordial and gave coparenting my bestā¦
Fast forward to today, my ex hasnāt seen our son since Christmas, so almost 9 months ago. He is 9 months behind on child support, which started after claiming he had a āslow monthā at work in Januaryā¦itās been a different excuse each time weāve spoken since.
He had a very well paying job, and although he was going on 3 months past due, informed me in March he was quitting to pursue his own āalready very successful businessā. This type of irresponsible (& in my opinion selfish)behavior was a pattern I witnessed the entire 4 years we were together. My credit was destroyed from him, and he constantly lived a lifestyle of splurging on expensive things before paying bills and then having to pawn them out or resell when he wound up too short. His job paid well over 6 figures and he still wound up living paycheck to paycheckā¦Before this year of no showing, he only exercised his custody weekend twice. I found out the second time he had our son, he had him at his girlfriends house the entire weekend, whom heād known only month. Which was Against our standard custody agreement. On top of that, he lied to me about giving our child his antibiotics while he was sick. My son was sick for 2 months after that weekend, and what started as strep throat turned into pneumonia.
He has kids from a previous relationship, and I realized early on he didnāt seem to provide for them. at the time we separated, he hadnāt seen his other children in over 2 years. He gave me a āMy ex is keeping them from meā story to explain this somehow while we were together but Iāve realized it was all a lie to make himself not look bad. Without going into the mountain of other worrisome events, just know that he is a proven liar, has a track record for not being a stable, is not a supportive parent, is volatile and unstableā¦but he randomly texts me still, sometimes after months of silence, to ask to speak to our son and telling me I am alienating him. I just donāt want to reopen the line of communication that hasnāt existed in 9 months if he is going to be this way, and try to come and go as he pleases while paying LITERALLY NOTHING TO HELP TAKE CARE OF HIS SON.
He has given every excuse in the book for his inability to pay, and using the pandemic to his advantage as why he canāt provide anything. He broke every rule of our custody agreement before hand, and since he has not seen or paid support for our son in over 6 months, heās guilty of child abandonment in our state. I found out the other day he has been posting frequently all year on his Facebook, which I have blocked, and he appears to be living it up. going to bars while he claims to be broke, and Traveling/gambling, buying a motorcycle, going to SIX FLAGS AND THE ZOO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK. Heās a 34 year old āmanā, but acts more like a rebellious childā¦I never thought Iād be considering this idea, but he is too reckless and irresponsible. after everything weāve been through and what Iāve learned, I cannot fathom the idea of my child alone with him. If something were to happen to me, he would automatically be his sole responsibilityā¦that idea literally terrifies me. At this point, I feel in my heart that it is not in my sons best interest to be around him.
I just canāt take the on and off inappropriate guilt trip texts from him, when he hasnāt lifted a finger to help or even tried to see him this entire year. His effort consists of asking to FaceTime once every month or two.
Given everything Iāve said and have the backup to prove, do you think I am wrong to fight to remove his rights?