Hi everyone ! I have a daughter who is 11 , anyways when she was 3 he chose to book a flight behind our backs to another city/island , and in the end , the relationship didnt work out , long story short , he has done next to nothing since the day he left , even moved to another country without saying bye to our daughter or even saying anything , maybe received a outfit once a year or so , been in trouble with the law , theres so much more to add but we dont have all day lol … i have ALWAYS left the door open to him when it came to our daughter , his parents WERE actively in my daughters life , and would even say they could count on one hand how many times he has seen or “had” my daughter , and those were when they would have her for the weekend etc , theres never been a line of communication with him because of his then partner and on the odd chance there was all i would ask was “when are you going to be a dad to our daughter , a dad she needs you to be” and all i ever got was "you act like you dont get a break , my mum and dad do “this and that” but yet i didnt have a child with them ! So here we are now , hes decided to message 9ur daughter asking if she wants to go shopping , and bare in mind he has not seen my daughter in 2 years in feb , so what im asking is would you be happy allowing your child to go ? And am i selfish for not wanting her to because i feel there are steps that need to be taken first like consistency for a start ?