12 year old daughter started her first menstrual period at school this morning but Dad told her I could not come pick her up from school until after he get off work because it is “his parenting time until tomorrow.” What are your thoughts?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Daughter started her period, and her dad won't let me come get her - Mamas Uncut
Fair enough that’s his time what makes you think he can’t take care of her as well as the mother. There are a lot of single dads that deal with the daughters getting the period. I bet the mum wouldn’t like it if the dad stormed in and took the daughter because he wanted to
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I would have wanted to bring her home too. As a mom and woman as well I remember my first period and the fact I literally felt disgusting all day because I had blood on me and no clean panties. No matter how prepared a girl is to experience thier first it is still a big deal! It is the start to womanhood and can be scary as hell! I don’t blame you mama!
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Just take what she needs and meet in the nurse’s office. If it’s possible.
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This was posted 12 mIn ago, on a Saturday & a holiday weekend, so I am a bit confused 
but none the less, this all depends on if this is a court ordered co-parenting situation or not.
If so, then the parent who has this type of situation has 2 choices. Call the court (family court) clerks or the court liaison, and express your concern as a Woman, raising a future Woman and explain how you feel your responsibility to your Daughter & her health -both physical and mental- Outweighs the court order.
Second choice is (for future reference) do what needs to be done -as clearly, Dad does not possess the compassion, understanding etc, that this situation requires- to protect your daughter, and then let the chips fall where they may.
“Extenuating Circumstances”. And this situation had clear Extenuating Circumstances!
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My boyfriends daughter started her period while she was with us. Her dad was at work and she was with me. She let me know and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. I took her to the store and called her mom to see if she had a preference and what she’d be wearing and so on. we got what we needed and I gave her a brief talk about what it is, what happens, and the hygiene of it all. When dad got home, he talked to her and let her know that he’s here for her. he asked her if she wanted to go home She said no. He asked her mom and she said no because he too needed to be apart of it and it’s happening on his time. She thanked both of us and when she got home with her, gave her the talk and had a whole spa thing together. She let him deal with it and she got to do what she wanted with her once she got home. It’s about communication
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Why does she need picking up from school? Did you not prepare her at that age to have a pad or 2 with her? Unless she has blood stained clothes. I dont get the need to be pulled from school. Id let her. Finish the day come take a shower and on the way back to Dads call into the store to stock her up.
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Ps. 
I have two grown sons, but Lord how I can feel your pain as a Mother, and a Woman 
Yes, Times have changed, and Dads are becoming Warriors when it comes to little girls and their needs.
Unfortunately her Dad is not quite the “Daddy” she needs right now, so she absolutely needs her Mother
As a Woman, I would be dying inside knowing I could also never get this Beautiful, Mother Daughter Bonding time back w/her ever again 
He is just being mean because he can. Now he can control both of you, and at the same time even! Wow, he’s just King of Control I suppose 
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Dad needs grow up and put his child first
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Set your daughter up for success. No you can’t go get her but you could of taken her fresh clothes and supplies to school. Teach her to be prepared and have a period pouch in her bag(supplies, undies, ) she can keep some sweats in her locker. And empower her with knowledge that every women goes through this and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We raised 5 daughters and talking to her dad about a normal process is something she needs to be comfortable about. It only becomes weird if people make it weird Drop off a bag of supplies to her at her dads with some ice cream and a chocolate bar. 
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It’s your child to !! GO get your daughter she is probably completely uncomfortable and needs her mom
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Teach him how to handle it. Chances are he’ll call you to come get her anyways
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Sorry dad, forcing your daughter to stay at school after her period starts and she needs to clean up, is called neglect. Go get her. Let her get cleaned up and meet him in the parking lot of the school when school let’s out. His time has noway been infringed upon.
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Ask him if he has what is needed for her. Offer him support on how to deal with this situation. If you guys are co-parenting he is gonna need to be able to deal with this too.
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Some of these comments, sheesh! Especially from women! Do you not remember when you first had your first period?? It’s not a “oh, I got my period” and just go on. I was ready, I had that talk, plus a book on periods, but still was nervous/excited/inexperienced. This girl might want her mom and it can be embarrassing to talk with dad even if you have a good relationship.
My daughter started her period this year and I sat and explained everything to her fully what would be happening with her body but I made it very clear If she needed me to call me. Now her dad and I are on “eh” terms. We get along but are not close. I wish things were different. But I spoke with him about it also to where if she needed me she could call me and I would come over and sit outside with her if I had to. I also explained to him what she needed and what he was expected to have for her. I sent over the pads she needed and told him he needed to carry an extra set over clothes for her at all times so she is never in an embarrassing situation. Even if it is his time he should put her above all and get over himself to make sure she knows no matter what she is the priority. Best of luck Momma
If he’s unable to handle it and take things she needs to her at school I wouod just do that and he can still have her on his parenting time if she’s asking for you then you are legally allowed to pull her out if school and help her with this and dad still gets his days dads at work anyways so hiw wouod this be cutting into his parenting time?
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I can see why you and him are not together anymore he knows nothing about the female body he should allow you to be with your daughter she needs her mom right now she can go back to her dad’s if she wishes
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You’re legally allowed to go to her school and drop off pads or whatever she needs pull her out of class and talk to her and talk to maybe a teacher or someone she’s is close with that can fonsih helping her through out the day until dad gets her. You two should sit down with her and talk more about it to
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Nothing says you can’t go visit her. Don’t make it such a big deal. Just take her change or clothes and supplies and tell her you’ll explain everything tmrw when she goes home. Don’t make it even more stressful on your daughter. My daughter was on her dads time when she started too. Luckily I had already explained a period and I had packed her a pencil case that she could keep in her backpack or purse with extra underwear and supplies incase it happened when I wasn’t around to help. Tell her she’ll be ok and you’ll see her tmrw.
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Go get her! No matter what he says…. She’s your daughter too. I hope when my daughter gets to this age and starts her period she’ll come to me.
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My dad raised 5 of us girls by himself he is the one who talked to us about our menestral cycle and but or feminine products
I would absolutely go get her, especially if it’s during school. You can have some time with her to explain things and help her clean up, then return her to her Dad afterwards. This is a mommy’s job, dads really can’t relate much less be of much help. I hope he didn’t make her stay at school that way. How awful.
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I would go get her let her shower change clothes get her supplies and take her back to school.only because he sounds like it would be a problem to take her home and for him to pick her up from you…
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Involve the school nurse and principal. Talk to her on the phone. If you can’t pick her up, you can deliver fresh clothes if necessary.
In my opinion, he’s thoughts on this subject are irrelevant. Take her the stuff she needs!
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I see both sides. 1) its definitely a mom thing no doubt mom can explain and deal with it better etc. I’m not from a split parenting so I haven’t been in her shoes… 2) He is her dad 
he has just as much right to help her. BUT… he needs to do that. Instead of being an ass to mom, and trying to be spiteful he needs to man up and really give her support. Go pick her up from school and maybe take her to pick out pads and junk food etc
Well looks like Dad is leaving work early to buy some pads, pick up a clean set of clothes and maybe some Midol 
if Dad isn’t able to leave work and if Mom isn’t “allowed” to pick her up, I’m sure Mom can do the same thing take some pads, a clean set of clothes, Midol and assist her at school.
Yep. Co parenting sucks -
Noone ask what your child wants & needs - Poor girl !
Nothing you can do - court see each parent as equal - cut the child in half. We keep breaking children raising hurt children.
Im so sorry.!
My dad did this too me. -
As adult " I speak either side - Never met my children !
My advice to her at age 18 - you offfical a human " belong to self ! Choose never speak to those treat as their belonging.
My son is a great single dad to his teenage girls and has been since they were 8 and 10 years old. They have no contact with their mother ( he does complain about the cost of all the feminine products, lol) but they both know they can come to him for anything. I wish more people stayed married these days. Sure would make life better for the kids. If it is dads time he should have it. I am glad to have been born in the '50’s to two loving parents who were always there for me.
If you child asks for you, get her. In this case he should be open to let her mom help her out
Go to school- take her out for for just one class. Bring clean clothes and pad let her know it’s ok and part of life maybe bring her a snack while you chat - she doesn’t have to leave school grounds
She’s 12. I don’t know where you live but here at age 12 the kid is allowed to choose. Good luck mama
My first thought is, I think I see vividly why you two divorced. I think the co-parenting needs work, however he is definitely in the wrong on this. Your daughter needs you. Go get her.
This is his time. Sorry not sorry if I piss people off.
Obviously there are questions as to your relationship with her dad and your daughters relationship with her dad. However, bottom line is legally this is his time. Talk to her on the phone. Then let it go. Been there done that. We have to be the bigger person. Usually that sucks. But it is what it is.
Most schools have a few supplies. Have her check with the office. If she needs clothes then you could drop them off for her.
I get its his time but dude she’s probky stained . And she can always go to him as soon as he’s off . That’s how you. Co parent…
That’s total BS! How incredibly embarrassing for the daughter!! Step up and be the kind of dad your daughter deserves!!
It’s your daughter too. Do what moms should do. Get her.
Take her a clothes change & supplies too get her by. But leavher for him or tell him to take them to her
He’s looking out for himself first and not his daughter.
When my girls got around the age I packed pads and clean panties in a baggie.
Dad can handle it until it’s your parenting time.
He’s being petty…maybe he should leave work and go get her…why would he want her to be uncomfortable in school
You are allowed to at least drop off fresh clothes and some sanitary products to her! That’s ridiculous!
Was she prepared for this? What type of relationship do they have?
Why are you even asking this question? You are her mother go!!!
Go get your child….like NOW… she will remember this forever!!
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It’s Saturday where is she is my first question?
If she wants you, go get her!!!
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He has no idea what it’s like. It’s insensitive. Did anyone ask what the daughter might want?
Teach him how to handle the situation or let her step mother take action.
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Go to the school help her then show up at his house, support her and show her you care
Then let him deal with it and bring her anything she needs …deal with it then appropriate ly
Have a celebration ready when she comes home to you. Care package, cake, snacks, movies, girl time
Hey tell him to grow up, she needs one of you to be with her right now, just go get her!!
She needs mom , no matter what
I’d go get her 
or at least drop her off a change of clothes and whatever she may need
Then he needs to buy her what she needs and take care of the situation.
Awful. Something that is shared by mom and daughter.
Ridiculous. So what. Let her get cleaned up and go back to school.
Very selfish of him…to simply say the least
Grrrrr, He wasn’t thinking about how devastating this was for his daughter…
Sounds like a real winner . Get out before you are completely controlled .
He should be a better dad and let you
being a parent dont have days u can or cant
I would go and get my baby
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Tell him to pound sand and pick her up!
Well I hope he goes to pick her up, unless he’s had previous conversations with her and had her prepared packing sanitary items and extra pants in her bookbag. Still every girl period is different some feel nothing and some have extreme pain. My daughter just started hers at 9 a few months before her 10th bday and she’s had stomach cramps and breast tenderness.
You should go get her
It’s a mama thing he’s just being mean
Let dad learn to deal with it
I think forget him, go get your daughter. We need our Mom’s in this situation! She needs you.
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He’s an asshat that she will never forget this. Great job Dad .
I think he is extremely selfish the little girl needs her mom right now
One of the school. People should. Take her. Home
He needs to stop being selfish this is about her growing not him, is he going to teach her how to use supplies, that would be awkward….go get her let her clean up and show her what she needs to know……what’s he going to do file contempt he’s going to look pretty stupid!
I would have went and got her. F him.
He literally can’t stop you. The judge isn’t going to take action against you for doing the right thing. Go get her.
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He’s an asshole( sorry!) but seriously that’s just disrespect for your daughter .
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Over my dead body would I NOT be at her school if she contacted me and told me she started her period. He can fight me. And so can anyone who disagrees cuz I couldn’t care less about how anyone feels about it. It is a milestone , and to deny a parent the right to be a part of it because you want to be a petty asshole is pathetic. No “his time her time” bullshit. You’re a parent all the time.
I prepared my daughter so there were no surprises. If he is okay to handle it there won’t be a reason to go get her? Unless I missed something. Are they ill prepared?
That sad poor child …my ex you all kind of stupid shitty thing so I can’t get my kids right down to his mom lie to the judge…she at school …some time man so stupid
Go get your baby!! She needs you, not her dad!!
So are all y’all saying a dad can’t deal with this?? 
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Fu$% him take care of your daughter:heart:
Not going to defend myself. Starting your period is not reason alone to be brought out of school. Your daughter would be prepared, know whats happening to her body and have a couple of pads in her bag and know what to do with them along with some paracetamol. Girls talk about their experiences, she would know what to do, they teach it in health class at 9 no reason why she can’t shower at home afterwards and most males nowadays are more than capable of going to a store to buy stuff or you can meet her at her dad’s. To those calling me unsympathetic that’s totally not the case…the post didnt mention that her clothes were covered in blood nor that she was doubled up in agony. No need to rush to school to pick her up.
He needs to get his ass there
He’s an absolute disgrace!!!
Stupidity on his part! Sad for daughter!!!
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No thoughts I would just go get her
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Your situation sucks. And I’m sorry for both you and your daughter. However, should she have issues in the future that her asshat dad won’t let you help with and she’s obviously not comfortable going to him with, at least have her go to the school nurse. They are well trained, compassionate and will help her clean up and answer her questions.
There are some things only a women can assist, this is one of them. Now if she didn’t have her mother there, then he would have to step up to the plate and do what’s required.
Someone needs to ask the kid what she wants. Then both parents need to be adults and accept that she is the one experiencing this and help her.
Legally I don’t know why you could not? What is best interest of child. The best thing would be if the parents had a good understanding to do what was best of her and cooperated with each other!!
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Those periods can be awful, cramps, nausea excessive bleeding, it’s a time a girl needs compassion, both parents need to come together to help her
Dad should be able to handle.
What would I do? You mean before or after the funeral?
Go to the school and talk to her …he knows nothing about it