I have a stepson that stays with us three months out of the year. I am currently on the fence about having children of my own however I am concerned for my mental health. I want kids but always wanted to ensure I was 100% mentally capable and prepared first. My question is, have any moms that had the same thoughts and were soon blessed with a baby felt like their child helped their mental health in the long run by helping ‘heal their inner child?
I definitely wouldn’t say that having a child improves your mental health, as far as making any negatives disappear. Whatever issues you may have before having a child will likely still be there after.
But I will say that becoming a parent has changed my perspective on a lot of things. It’s made me more responsible, empathetic, and yes even stronger! I 100% feel as though caring for my daughter and wanting a better life for her has helped me grow as a person. But I wouldn’t have more kids just to chase that same feeling. I wouldn’t want to put that burden on my kid of being my savior or reason to live. So to speak. Have kids if you feel the calling to be a mom and can provide, love, nurture, and support them in the ways they need. But definitely work through issues that you need to heal from first. Good luck!
I would never recommend having a child in order to “fix mental health”….
A pregnancy can induce post-partum depression to begin with. Not to mention, children are tough—you experience changes to your figure, you don’t sleep, you can’t get anything done, they sometimes won’t stop crying…. It’s overwhelming even for parents who are (or believe themselves to be!) “mentally ready”. So if you are battling mental health issues, you should deal with them first—before deciding to become a parent.
That being said, many ppl are afraid to become parents based on their own experiences with their parents. If this is what is stopping you, you can seek counseling. And remember, you are not your mom or your dad. If you know better, you can do better. And don’t be afraid to seek out resources to help you along the way—like your parents maybe should have.