First off, there’s no such thing as snooping in a relationship. Second-Looking up an ex not a big deal. People are curious and most of us have done it. BUT him getting mad about it is a guilt reaction to getting caught . And that’s a concern because maybe he still feels some type of way about her.
Third- his mother needs to step tf out yalls relationship. There’s no place for her in it.
Fourth- y’all have three kids and still engaged? Time to suggest couples therapy and be sure that you are putting some of your energy into a back up plan in case you are on your own.
Which imo every woman should have anyway. There are things besides a break up, that would mean you carrying the load alone.
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If he gets angry then he has something to hide or knows that he did wrong. There is no reason for him to look up his past girlfriends/fiancé, why does he care? If he didn’t care he wouldn’t look them up.
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Your explanation for how you came across his search history doesn’t make sense. Why were you searching for your sister in law on his iPad? I see this as a violation of trust and privacy on your part.
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You guys have been together long enough to have 3 children together and you ended this with “so far this year has been amazing” it sounds like you know what’s best but you don’t want to admit it. Best of luck 
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Bring his mam into it? 
is he 6 x
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He is just made he got caught lying and sneaking around. Don’t tolerate it!
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He is probably so angry because he feels guilty. He knows that he has been caught. Whatever you decide to do has to be what is right for you? Will you ever be able to trust him again? Do you have your own financing? Good luck. What ever you do, always be prepared to take care of yourself and your children.
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This doesn’t really even make sense. He searched his ex? Or he was talking to her? Do they have kids together? Do you trust him?
He’s gaslighting you. He’s doing more than just searching her.
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1 what he is doing is called deflecting. Bottom line he did wrong and was caught. Rather then admit he was wrong and apologize he is blaming you. 
2 a relationship is between 2 people it is NEVER a good idea to bring outsiders in unless it’s a counselor…that is a way to gaslight you.
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First rule. If someone gets automatically defensive they are guilty. Now as far as what you want to do that’s going to be on you. Do you want to stay with someone who’s more than likely always going to blame you for their mistakes? Do you think he would want to work toward something better? Has he shown that he could work towards something better? Like I said the decisions going to be up to you waiting on those pros and cons. I wish you the best of luck but no that he’s probably hiding things
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Your not wrong it wasn’t done on purpose you came across it honestly. If it’s innocent on his end why is he so upset. Red flag and your adults so stand up and tell his mum it’s non of her concern. He shouldn’t been bringing her into your personal life
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He yells at you … AND HIS MOM DOES TOO? Whattttt? I bet he’s a wicked mommy’s boy.
Screw all that shit. Take those babies and leave.
Let him have visitation with them. But get the heck out of there.
If you guys have had so much hurt already and yet he’s looking up his ex and he’s getting upset over you asking about clearly there’s a reason why and it’s not as good as you thought.You guys have 3 kids and not married if you guys having all these issues that probably for the best.I would advise that you start a back up plan like others suggested because it doesn’t sound healthy at all for either of you or your kids.A person shouldn’t be getting all crazy unless there’s a guilt behind it He should have just sat down and talked bout it.If he’s been unfaithful before then he should know looking up an ex would cause more issues…I would really look at this and think if this is something you truly want and do you see things lasting and is it a healthy relationship for you and your children.Just because you have kids together doesn’t mean you have to stay with him.People can be good parents not being together if not better parents because all that drama and hurt from that relationship wouldn’t be continuing.Your kids need happy parents and a healthy invirment.I hope you get honest answers GOOD LUCK
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He’s yelling to bully you into letting his behavior go. Don’t.
more then likely, not always, but now then likely he did something wrong and that’s why he blew up and turned it into you doing wrong:pleading_face:
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So narcissist that doesn’t like being caught….
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He feels guilty but no need to gaslight you. I also don’t feel like him looking up his ex is that big of a deal. I think both of you are blowing this up far bigger than what it is.
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Leave !! Gaslighting is abuse , hidden texts to other women is cheating, having his mother yell at you is just plain childish.
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If he is your fiance then he agreed to share his life with you. You aren’t in the wrong and getting super defensive means there is more to it. He is manipulating the situation. Why would his mother yell at you? Do they often tag team? That sounds like they have a bullying issue.
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He’s upto no good ans got caught. They all react that way when they’ve been caught!
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Walk out; his mama ain’t sleeping with him it’s not her business and if you found it and you confronted him it shouldn’t be an argument
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What’s wrong with searching an ex… just means he likes to snoop
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Leave!! This is narc behaviour and bullying, I have the same situation, your in a no win situation, they are at fault not you, and they will gather any idiot who will listen to them, it’s called giving up against you. It is nor acceptable at all, I hope the dam law changes to treat women with more respect
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Girl you know deep down something wrong there. Wishing you the best!!
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As someone who has broken my own heart many times by “snooping” or simply stumbling upon something, because 9/10 times there’s a legitimate explanation, I understand your feelings. You did everything right, you addressed what you found, because as many others stated there are a 100 reasons why he searched for an ex. However, his response says alot more. He wouldn’t have been so defensive if it was innocent. He’s deflecting because he’s in the wrong. All you can do is voice how it made you feel, why it bothers you, and the rest is up to him. Considering his response, (who calls their mother into a disagreement with their significant other?) I wouldn’t expect this to resolve easily.
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They guy is blowing smoke around what he is really at, he is being deceptive, you cannot trust him leave
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Let things cool down focus on your health and kids and stay calm get a back up plan
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If you REALLY wanted to, you could go to his profile, on his account and click the 3 little dots to his activity log and see who all he searches and how often.
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You teach them how to treat you. If you think you and your children deserve a cheating, lying and childish boy in your life stay. If you’re a woman that deserves respect, trust, honesty and love get out and go find it!!!
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His mama??? Ain’t no mf way!!
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Kids are resilient. If you give them stability ( if you choose to move on ) they will be ok . Do what’s best for you . You are the only one who can make you happy . If this is ongoing heart ache then there must be a better life ahead for you . Your gut is always right !
his mom to yell at you? I’m sorry you have to go through this
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I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve been with my husband will be 20 yrs and I know I’ve looked up ex’s and I know he’s looked up girls from his past to see what they are doing in life. I thinks it’s just curiosity to see where people are. Some to say thank God I got out when I did and maybe even some to say shit hes a millionaire now, damn shoulda stayed lol(jokingly of course). Now if he took it further then just looking at her profile and tried messaging her and tried hooking up with her then that’s a different story!! But just him curiously looking her up then I’d say your being a bit jealous.
No you didn’t cross the line… him yelling is him being defensive because he’s up to no good and trying to make you feel guilty which he is doing. Narcissist at it’s finest. As for his mom she has no business in it tell them both to bang ankles.
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The fact that he lets his own mother scream at you should tell you enough about this guy. I’d never like any in laws disrespect me or my husband. I’m a grown adult. Treat me as one. That would of been it for me. I’d never allow her to yell at me. Ain’t no way.
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You two cant hold a conversation without yelling…maybe you two need therapy because you should be able to communicate with each other…does he bring his momma into your business often because if you have a monster in law and she sides with son everytime and she yells at you too…this is a really toxic environment…i wouldnt be answering her when she calls and i would say butt out to her i think you have to learn to stand up for yourself otherwise those two will run right over you…dont marry him because who wants soneone in their life that yells …and you werent snooping he is making a big deal out of nothing
Nope. Hes trying to turn it around on you. If he didnt want it found he shouldnt have done it.
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It is time to go then and since he wants to send his mother at you too tell her not to contact you either. If either harasses you, file the complaints and document it all and get a restraining order if necessary.
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When you have kids how you treat your partner and how they treat you is teaching children how to treat their partners and how to allow themselves to be treated. If you want better for your children, you have to give them a better example.
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he’s gas lighting you. you have a right to your feelings & a right to express them without him flying off the handle like a 10 year old getting caught in the cookie jar. sounds like you are in a relationship with a sneaky immature manipulator & a cheater to boot, sorry
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You tell dude to kick rocks!
He’s mad because he got caught. Maybe he looked her up on FB just to be mosey and see what she’s been up to and it not a big deal. Maybe he looked her up on FB to reach out and find out if he has any kind of chance with her again. Regardless, he broke trust, then blew up about it when confronted.
NOT TO MENTION he brings his mother into your relationship AND allows her to yell at you? Um, no. Tell him to kick rocks and to take his mother with him. I don’t care how many kids you have with this man. That’s no reason to allow yourself to be mentally, emotionally and verbally abused. This is just an insight as to what your life, being married to him, will be like.
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When his mom calls just simply say you aren’t speaking with someone who condones infidelity. Leave it at that. Hang up. As for him, ask him how he would feel if the tables were reversed. If he still doesn’t see the problem, tell him you two should see a marriage counselor. If he is not willing to make things work, you’re wasting your time 3 children or not. You also deserve to be happy and to have a faithful partner.
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Sounds like he’s used to keeping things from you
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I mean that’s not okay - but I am curious why you were trying to search your sister in law. It makes me feel like you were typing in someone’s name to see if you would find something on recent searches
It fell in your lap. If he didn’t want you to see it he shouldn’t have used something he let’s everyone use. It’s his own fault you found it, and the fact he got upset instead of laughing it off says a lot about why he was looking her up. I don’t think you did anything wrong.
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He’s angry because he’s in the wrong
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Leave him girl. Do whats best for yourself and those children!!
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Sounds like my life 
Well now that you have managed to break your own heart by snooping. It’s up to you what you do. I wish everyone would consider what they are going to do with info before they go snooping. You snooped, now you’ve had a litany of conversation with yourself about what it all means, so the question is what are you going to do and what do you expect him to do.
Him getting mad and not being able to have a conversation is a huge red flag. He got caught and is trying to gaslight you.
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Him getting irate over it…hes cheating
3 kids not married??? Why???
Red flags all-over this relationship.
You need to walk away and count your losses.
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Loudest dog barks the loudest
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Walk away calmly with your head held high.
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Well, if you still aren’t married and you aren’t ok with him tattling to his mom so she can reprimand you then kick rocks.
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Get 2 one way tickets for him and his mum on the nut bus out of your life. Why does he have to cry to his mum like a baby because he made a mistake and GOT CAUGHT. You need to stand up to him and tell him that it’s not OK.
I dont get why men think this is ok?
She didn’t snoop she simply was getting a number for her son… snooping is going threw it because of other motives not to get a number for her son to call
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I can see where this looks bad, but sometimes you just get curious about how people that were in your past are doing now It’s not always cheating cause you know everyone gets curious!
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For one . Don’t allow anyones mother to yell at you BUT YOUR OWN . Second stand your ground . 3rd if he can’t treat you right then dip
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Him getting mad about it is what’s the problem. He sounds defensive because his intentions probably was to try and cheat
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They say things are seen right in front of your face & that’s excatly what happen.idc what the excuses are no woman deserves hurt or any of the crazy stuff.that is a true NARCISSIST.i would tell him he can have the iPad & his ex & take the kids & yourself & move on. Having kids with someone does not mean you should not move on or that you should stay with someone that’s hurting you repeatly.
All of that I Tru red
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No harm in being nosey checking on an ex - it’s his reaction to you asking about it is where the comes into play
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You’re not responsible for this outrage. He shouldn’t have reacted like that. If you were simply going to search a name but saw another its not like you were snooping. I’m not saying he is, but if my partner reacted like that I’d think there was more to it. A simple “oh just wanted to be nosey at what she’s up to these days” would have sufficed surely?
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No real man needs his mama to yell at his wife. READ AGAIN! You are a grown ass woman. He sounds like a drama filled man-child! Do yourself a favor…BOUNCE!
Sounds like a narcissist. PRAY about it. Ask God’s guidance
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I agree with one of the comments on here.
His mom yells at you? Never let anyones mom yell at you other than your own. She has no business in your relationship. And also it sounds like he is just saying he can’t hold a conversation with you to give an excuse to talk to other people or cheat. He’s already made up his mind and him being defensive about it shows.
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All of the above. Oh hell no would ANYONE be in my relationship except me & him.
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Um, why is he your fiancé?
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Neither of you seem to be able to communicate well. Get marriage counseling and individual therapy and don’t get married until you learn to discuss things calmly like adults. It’s a rare skill that will serve you both in all aspects of your lives, especially as you rear children.
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I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20284 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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Time to get a good theripst and find out why u r in this relationship…
Hes gonna do what he wants to do. Either keep putting up with it or leave. You always have a choice.
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Your iPad stores searches, so the fact that this ex girlfriends name appeared isn’t really the issue. She used to be a contact when they were together 
But his reaction and response is troubling, especially if you believe his mother will be involved and yell at you also.
You should definitely take a step back and put the wedding on hold and start working on communication and how you’re being treated. It will only get worse not better once you’re married.
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3 kids later and he is still ONLY your fiance?? There is something wrong with this picture. Hurt on both sides?? He can’t seem to talk to you, but he can his ex?? His moma yells at you and he encourages it?? --And you see nothing wrong with any of this? You are where your at, by your own poor choices. You need to leave. Couples counseling, could help you, but if he isn’t willing to go, you may just be wasting your time. You should get counseling about why you make bad decisions.
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Kick him the curb, he’s lying
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You are married to him, not his mother. Divorce a NARCACIST. HE IS A CHEATER!
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I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 22587 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. https://luminous-cuchufli-584136.netlify.app/
I think you have avoided the red flags long enough hunny, his demeanor is gross and narcissistic and so is his mothers, no wonder you hold in what you have to say… time to get your shit and go. You deserve better. Don’t put up with someone who is gas lighting you and let’s his mother get involved.
The line is crossed at letting his mom yell at you.
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He sounds guilty about something if he gets upset over simple communication that your bringing to him.
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Leave. Those kind never change.
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First off…his Mother has no business in your problems therefore should never yell at you. And him doing what he is doing is so wrong!!! Do not get married and leave as soon as possible.
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Asshole and why is his mother in ur relationship is he a mama’s boy too damn no u don’t need such shit in ur life, u can’t keep putting up with his bull, don’t marry this fool 
his playing you like a fiddle
He and his mom are going to yell at you because he’s searching his exes profile? That’s gas lighting if I ever saw it.
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They always act like that when they get caught.
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He’s guilty of something. Now whose are going doing to do? Bc he isn’t innocent or good.
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He’s guilty of something. Now what are you going to do? Bc he isn’t innocent or good.
Block her for him he’ll just think she’s blocked him
Wonder if his ex-fiance is even aware you or the kids exist. He wants a fantasy where he’s still available. He hasn’t gotten over her or is separating himself from reality as a way to escape from it. Maybe a “what if…” game. Either way, extremely disrespectful.
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Wow! I would definitely be upset. And he has no business bringing his mom into it.
No mama’s boys. If he can’t handle his own arguments then he isn’t mature enough for a relationship.
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If he wasn’t guilty, he wouldn’t have freaked out.
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So your mother in law yells at you??? And this is the man you want to lead your family??? To many red flags for me
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He is guilty as heck and you deserve better
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Red flags 
good bye Mr looser
He is guilty and deflecting, not to mention his mother can stay the f out of your relationship. Especially when HE IS in the wrong. You have three children with this man he can have a little respect for you. He needs to get it together and decide what he wants or YOU should leave. Don’t put up with that.
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Sister hold your head high and those sweet babies hands and walk away momma he wont change
Wow 3 kids and you are only engaged? That sounds like someone has commitment issues. You can have his kids, but he don’t marry you?
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Too many red flags. Sorry this isn’t going to end well
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