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"OK so he walked out for the 3rd time saying he's going to work because he can't find work here. So he walked out & 20 min later he's acting rude & being disrespectful so I put up with it for 2 days & I blocked him. Doing the right thing doesn't always feel right but if we're not on the same page & he switches up on me he's clearly telling me he don't want the family life. He has been clean & sober for 22 months which I thought was a good thing but his attitude is still the same when he was using so this is a pattern & I'm so heartbroken. Being now then later right."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You are better off without him"
"Keep it that way he’s probably relapsed or thinking about it"
"I’m glad you broke the cycle"
"Good girl, don’t turn back. You’re better than that"
"Maybe when he’s walking out, he’s using? You need consistency. Take care of yourself and your kids."
"Is he still clean, or is he picking fights as an excuse to leave to use?"
"Oof. Never allow a man to tell you more than once he doesn’t want you. Believe him the first time. You deserve better."
"Depends on what he was using and if he’s seeking proper therapy or in need of anti depressants. I’ve dealt with this. After a 9 year rollercoaster of his hamster wheel cycle, the ups and downs and mood swings, lying too, I decided that I don’t need to live that way."
"As a recovering addict, I can say, if you don’t identify and address the issues that caused you to use and find a healthier way to cope, your chances of staying clean are pretty low. It sounds to me like this maybe what he’s struggling with. Either way, protect you. Your mental health should come first. Nothing you do will help him stay clean unless he wants it for himself."
"Physically sober is good and all, but real change and sobriety happens mentally too. Not just physically. Some take longer than others to make the mental connection to sobriety not just the physical. I was sober for 6 months before I mentally WANTED to stay sober, then it took almost a year for my brain to heal from my addiction. Addiction often is caused by mental illness, in effort to self medicate. So without the drugs or alcohol to cope with my mental illness, it took me a long time to cope with it without the source of my addiction. He may need more time to get himself together. He didn’t become addicted overnight, and he won’t recover overnight either. I’m not saying put up with his toxicity, but try to understand it."
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