Did marriage counseling work for you?

Sooooo sounds like he wasn’t very upset when you told him to leave🤷🏼‍♀️

Get the hell out before you have kids it’s hard on them

Nope, just prolonged the agony.

Get out of the relationship. I can’t see it working…way too many red flags.

Run! Do not walk!
Seriously now, check your finances, which I hope are separate accounts. You don’t need the grief, doubts or ANY negative :poop: in your life​:woman_shrugging:t2: nobody does​:face_with_raised_eyebrow: Run

Don’t bother. He’s a waste of space.

Once a cheater,always a cheater! If you dont think he’s taken it too far already, then by all means, keep going to your counselor, I have learned over the years and the men I’ve been involved with that once they start lying about this they keep lying, they never change! Go find yourself a better man!

I have been married for 48 years, certainly not an expert but have some experience in being married. I don’t believe marriage counselling would help you at all. Break it down, you want more space what do you mean exactly more space for what ? and why do you feel this way ? Do you still love him ? And are you pushing him away? / Him: has anger issues, spiteful, trying to make you jealous ( making dating profiles) looking for attention he’s not getting. It’s time for you both to have an honest discussion about your thoughts and feelings (without arguing don’t play the blame game). Just share your feelings about what you both REALLY WANT and if your not on the same page then perhaps it’s time to separate then see how you both feel this will either make or break you both as a couple . Either way it’s time for a big dose of honesty !

I had one marriage counselor say “she ought to be able to spend what she wants; you have a good job” without knowing any numbers. She was pretty quick to get her billing in to the EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM and insurance company.
The other encouraged her spend thrift ways. I was making $70K and she was burying us in debt. She got her own credit cards WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE and was $10K in personal debt in a YEAR ABOVE what she spent on our cards and cash.
We’ve been divorced almost 7 years. She got 40% of my pension. I bought a house on GI BILL. I acquired a girl friend during the two year divorce period…she died of COVID-19 a year ago.

You are in any abusive relationship. You need to leave now. It only gets worse.

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Time for him to go you can do better

NOOOO…should have listened to her when she told me to NOT MARRY HIM

Kick him out for real this time.

Time to walk, cheater never quit, they’ll just keep lying

Get out while you can.

Divorce period he has issues

People who pray together stay together. :pray::pray::pray::pray:

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Did not get any better

Help him pack. You are obviously just a place to stop.

Sorr this marriage not working😔move on

You need to LOVE yourself first. Obviously he is TOXIC what if one day he gets so worked up and pissed off he hits you?! What’s your excuse for him then. Also if he quickly goes to other women when you have a argument/fight then hes cheating and has gotten caught and trying to deflect your rightful accusations by telling you shit he thinks you wanna hear. Hunny run it isn’t gonna get easier

RUN! If he is so “quick” to start the online dating apps, he has been thinking of cheating for a while if he hasn’t cheated already. If he punches things, the next thing he will punch is you. He is gonna try to play the victim and say you kicked him out. For a while people might believe him, but hold your head up and keep being you. The people that matter will see the truth and become even more fierce friends for you. I lived this life for 10 years. It started out with yelling and name calling and berating me in front of our friends. When when he saw it didn’t effect me (I hid it well), he moved on to punching things and destroying my stuff. He started disappearing and making excuses that friends needed his “help with things.” One day, as I was getting ready to get out and do the weekend things, a woman showed up on our porch. “You need to pack your things and get out of so-n-so’s house, and while you are at it, leave the keys to that car. So-n-so is in love with me and him and I are going to live in his house and I will be driving his car.” My answer was, “this house isn’t in his name, it’s in my parents name, so it isn’t his or mine. And that car is in my son’s and my name. So get off my porch before I knock you the f*#k off my porch!” The following Monday, I filed for divorce, paid for it all, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my children.

Please be aware of the signs I’m not saying he will turn violent towards you however the punching holes in walls is a huge huge red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:. I don’t know if you have children but that could be a very scary and scarring thing for them. Also remember people do things out of anger… he could have been upset that you were actually asking him to leave and retaliated. It doesn’t make it okay nor acceptable but has he acted on those profiles or connections on them? Ask him to show you conversations. Marriage counseling is a option if you both are going to be open and try to be receptive of any and all possibilities. Even if you are told you are sometimes the problem too. No one can truly tell you how it will work for you. Follow your gut. And even follow your heart but please take your brain with you. I don’t mean that disrespectful at all it’s just sometimes our hearts can cause us to do things that we know better than. I think therapy would be really good. Especially when he’s punching things that anger could manifest in worse ways and it should most definitely be addressed.

Please take the warnings for what they are.

Sincerely,
The girl who lost her best friend because her husband liked to punch walls until he liked to punch her and took her life and his and left behind 2 beautiful boys…

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Never go to marriage counseling with an abuser. Punching walls is emotional abuse because it’s a threat of violence. A sign of wanting inappropriate levels of control. So you go to therapy and open your heart and they… don’t. They learn where your weak points are so they can hurt you more effectively. Go instead to individual therapy to learn how to stand up for yourself and when to leave a relationship that it turning dangerous. Marriage counseling is for good hearted people who have lost their way.

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If I told my hubby to leave because we had a fight and he did that we would be over. If he could get over me that quickly and try to date other women that lets me know the love isn’t really there. You can try marriage counseling. What you get out of counseling is completely dependent on what you put in it. I have seen it work for some people and fail for others.

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He was already on dating sites that quick! No more needs to be said. He was ready to start new that fast.

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HE needs more than couples/marriage counseling! He needs anger management. You honestly need to realize that punching holes in the wall is not a normal and is a warning sign that you need to get out of this relationship.

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Through my own experience after many years of marriage and telling my controlling husband I was not happy. He did nothing to change it and continued his miserable attitude. When a man does not treat you good when you are a good wife it is time for him to go.

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I can give you advice from personal experience, I am accually a DV survivor. Counseling only works if you really want it to and are willing to be open and honest about your feelings. This has to go for BOTH parties involved. If one isn’t willing, chances are it won’t.
I know not all men are the same but actions speak SO much louder then words. The way you are describing the relationship it sounds very toxic and unhealthy.

Get counseling for yourself whether he wants to participate or not.

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Why are you asking think you know the answer to this all ready no need for counseling let him go move on

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I think you have a lot to learn. Marriage counseling can work but you have to want it to, on both parts. Seems to me that he have may been already on dating sites or at least has been thinking about it. He was to quick to make the decision just because you asked him to leave. The 3 main things in a relationship are Communication, Trust and Loyalty. I think you both need your own counseling as well as marriage counseling. Please think about things

Don’t try to stay in a bad way in your life I was in a bad marriage for 18 yrs though everyday as he get older he will change wrong didn’t happen got in to Drugs and started going to strip bars had 2 kids stayed as long as I could got a divorce 2 yrs got married to a very good man been together 26yrs adopted 2 girls both grown now go to church and very happy wish you the best it will get better just make the right choice.

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I can’t give advise without knowing how long you’ve been together for, how long into the relationship he started putting holes in walls, these things are progressive, meaning it will get worse and you could find yourself in danger, men who throw things and punch wall in anger often turn their violence on their partners in arguments … so please disengage from him avoid arguments avoid conflict and get yourself out of there

Don’t lie to yourself. You see it clearly
It is what it is. The next step is yours. Do you want to keep living that life or not.

Who can change women’s behaviour?

Get him to give his side of the story then maybe I could offer advice

Yes. It took 9 yrs for us to decide it was over

Yep. We bought a 2nd house. Doing good, thanks for asking. Donny

Have tried it twice with no success.

Nope I in same boat… I wanna choke him°

Hi am single still searching you DM me if you are interested

No…I am still married!!

No, Because my ex refused to take part even when she attended.
Counseling can work but only if all parties work at it.