Did your marriage suffer after having a baby?

post anonymous please. does your marriage suffer after a baby? I feel like my wife and I aren’t connected anymore and everything we built together is slowly crumbling. does it get better?

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It definitely was strained for awhile, mostly lack of time to communicate and connect. But push through, take the little minutes you can here and there and it’ll get better. We currently have a 4 and 2 yr old and I feel like we’re just getting out of that fog.

Yes parenting definitely does. Please just make sure you are pulling your weight and making her feel supported. While getting rest for you both. Also please watch for post baby induced depression in you both. It can make you both feel disconnected. Hang in there and openly communicate with one another about your feelings! Having a baby changes everything and this is a cross roads in your marriage. Support, love, and understanding goes a long way! :heart:

Yes. Best advice my parents gave me was to continue to date your spouse. I didn’t listen to them and now here I am 8 years later realizing I put my husband and me on the back burner.

It gets better! Communication is key!
Sleepless nights and a new baby is HARD! And realizing you no longer have some freedoms you used to is an adjustment. But absolutely worth it. Make time. When baby naps. Put away your phones and talk. Make dinner together. Little things to keep you close to your person.

Yes, my husband was no longer the attention of everything and it is very hard on him. He went from being so spoiled to someone I might have time for later.

Parenting definitely puts a strain on a relationship. Being a couple is so much easier than being a couple with kids.

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Throw the TV out of your bed room

Kids make marriage harder. You have another human to focus on. You’re overwhelmed. Tired. Many different things going through your head at all times. It can get better. Then at times it can get worse again. But if you continue to communicate and work on it, it can get better once again. There needs to be a lot of compassion there from both of you towards one another for the struggles you go through and the feelings you face. It’s not easy and I’m sorry it’s happening. You guys just need to have a heart to heart talk.

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It’s an adjustment for sure.

Becoming a parent changes a marriage. It doesn’t have to be negative and destroy it.
Keep in mind, her body is going thru it. Her hormones will take, minimum, 6 months, maximum, 2yrs, to get back to “normal”. She’s exhausted, stressed, lacks sleep and is constantly over thinking if she’s a failure.
You 2 have to talk. What do you want to work on? How do each of you feel now? What marriage goals do you each have now that life is totally different?
How can you support each other? Where do you disagree but can compromise?
You aren’t wrong and she isn’t crazy. She just feels like it. Comsider therapy. It can really help you hear each other. Marriage takes work.
It’s about understanding that you both will change and you chose to love each other along the way. It absolutely is a choice. Even when it’s hard.
But, talk to her, with her…not at her. And give her some grace atm. She can’t help being an emotional mess. :two_hearts:

It will get better! First child is hard on a marriage. Don’t forget that women have hormones and it takes a while for everything to level itself out again.
Just keep choosing each other every day. You’ll get through the funk.

Change isn’t easy. Have to work hard to keep things together. Say how you feel, be as supportive of each other.

I guess it’s different than everyone, for me, I just realized who my husband really is after having children. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve like I did :woman_shrugging:

We were 17 when we had our first child. We had been together for 2 years at the time. Our second child came along when we were 23. Our third child will be arriving later this year, we will be 26 this year.

It wasn’t hard for us at all. We both graduated and work full time jobs. Both kids are in school.

When we are focused on the same things and have the same goals as a family, things move along smoothly. We both take care of our kids equally and make time for each other.

We will be getting married next week and have been together for 10 years now.

Your post put tears in my eyes…literally…yes. and yes but for us it’s not the same…

First of all baby can’t do for itself you can. Things will get better as baby gets older. if your not helping that will only make problem worst. It takes two to make it work better. Know your most likely working but that does not mean you get A pass on helping out. Be A Dad and take A turn at all things.