Should I be concerned about where my four-year-old daughter sleeps when visiting her dad? DCS doesn’t seem concerned that her bed is on the back porch, not even a foot away from the door. (Their back porch is the coldest room in the house too). I can’t even bring anything up regarding baby concerns of her well-being to them because they start fights and call DCS out of spite (which I’m also tired of. There’s nothing I can do because with COVID, the court is all on video, and he has his mom tell him what to say to say the right things because she’s done everything in her power before to make his dad look like a bad person. I’m just at a loss; I gate sending my daughter to these people. I hate being disrespected by his teenage girlfriend. I just need advice and answers.
You could call child services yourself and voice your concerns, that way it is documented. Other than that, not much can really be done.
One question … what is your custody paperwork says about visitation
Get a lawyer. That’s where you will get the best help. Yes, it is insanely expensive. But they are the ones who know how to do something about this IF it is possible for anything to be done.
Is this an actual back porch or a room that used to be? If it’s a suitable living space within the home I don’t see the issue here. Her bed being near a door isn’t any different than her sleeping in the living room and there’s always a coldest room in any house.
Just because the two of you are split up doesn’t make him required to meet extra standards. He’s still her parent and as long as the kiddo is safe and their needs are met, it’s not a problem.
Go pick another battle. Bitter baby mama.
You sound petty as hell 
Neither dcs nor the courts see a problem so get over it
What does his gf or her age have to do with where your child sleeps?
Okay so I’m going to take the opposite stance as everyone else because DCS isn’t the best gauge for deciphering what is good for a child and what is not… You have every right to be concerned and the women calling you a “bitter baby mama” are probably dealing with a man who has children with someone else.
Hire a lawyer and call the caseworker so that your concerns can be formally documented.
Okay, those of you saying saying she’s bitter… I have anxiety wether or not my 4 yr old child’s window in her room is locked, god forbid a door accessible to her in her own room. Is it child proof, or blocked? Hopefully this porch has good instillation, and is more “room converted” as others might speculate.
If the door is locked and secured and it’s an insulated room then I’d let it go. If not I’d raise hell tbh
Yes you should be very concerned
Confused by the word “porch” Is it an indoor room? Is there a door that locks preventing someone coming in from outside? If yes then sure you can be concerned you are a parent but most courts and social workers would laugh at this being brought up. We rarely use a heater at night in our house and GASP our toddler slept in the coldest room and more them just survived on extra blankets. Those bashing social services I am sure had a negative experience but as a whole many do know what they are doing. You bringing up the gf DOES make the entire post go the “bitter losing control nit picky baby Mamma” route
In this day and age . Too many children are getting hurt . By all means if ur feeling some type of way speak up on it . That’s ur child at the end of the day . Even if u and the girlfriend don’t get along as long she does right by ur child is what really matters
Nope, I would call CPS. My kid wouldn’t be sleeping in a patio!!! Hell no. I’m with you on this. Get a lawyer.
Every and any ALL GOOD mom do care where there baby sleeps. Do NOT listen to the rest of these moms. I bet they are not moms at all! But hoes who are dating a man with a baby momma. And if any of them are moms they are shit moms! I feel sorry for their kids.
Well there ya have it… You aren’t upset about the sleeping arrangements, you’re bitter bc your bd has a new girlfriend.
If you put your daughters bed on the porch she’d be removed from your care. There’s a double standard. You need to document everything. I’m sure there’s more going on than this. Then hire a lawyer.
Here’s the thing, if your four year olds bed was legitimately on a porch, DCS/CPS would absolutely have an issue with it. I completely understand your concerns and I’m not invalidating you. However, if you’re that concerned, then you need to get a lawyer and handle it from there.
Also, if you wouldn’t have added that last little bit about his new girlfriend, a lot of us would have taken you seriously but that last bit is not a good look.
Years ago baby daddy’s new boo called social services on me for sleeping on an air mattress on my parents living room floor. They said as long as they have somewhere to sleep, food in the cabinets and seem content, there’s nothing wrong.
Mind you I left their abusive father, let him have the house I paid rent for the next 6 months for and all. Totally worth it. Would do it again.
You sound petty and are reaching.
Are we all in agreeance on what a “porch” is? Has the definition of it changed? I’m lost with “porch.”
your being bitter. and don’t say your not cause you brought the gf up lol if dcf has been called, yes even by then. they would have had an issue with the bed on the porch cause they world have gone to the dads house also. not just your house. her over your self and move on.
A porch is outside. Are you talking about a sunroom maybe? A garage turned into a bedroom? Does your daughter complain about the room? Does she say it’s too cold and she can’t sleep? Why does your exs gf’s age matter? Is she underage? Is he a pedophile? Are y’all 22 and she’s 19?
So many unanswered questions lol. If you think she’s being abused by staying on this “porch”, contact a lawyer. Facebook can’t help with this. I understand being concerned, but it doesn’t sound like anything horrible is happening.
I mean my room was also on the front porch but I was a teenager. You have every right to be concerned
As long as it’s enclosed and the child has plenty of blankets then it’s fine. Sounds like you are bitter cause of the girlfriend.
My recommendation instead of turning to the Internet, talk to a lawyer. You’re gonna get some comments you may not appreciate and comments you may. So my best advice to you was talk to a lawyer if you don’t agree with the circumstances with with your child is living while at their father‘s house. That is the only thing you can do. If everything turns into a battle with him and his new teenage girlfriend, take it to a lawyer. That’s the only thing that you can do find out legal advice from them and go from there. You have to do what’s best for your child and that is the best step that you can possibly take.
In regards to DYFS, DCS, CPS or whatever you wanna call them, they’re called different things in different states. The problem is, some of them do not do their jobs, some of them come in haphazardly look around think everything safe or the parents home that they are visiting set things up differently because they know they’re being called on to come out and check things. People can be very deceptive. Look what happen with the missing girl that had been missing all those years who had children by her kidnapper. The police have been out along with DYFS out to that house but nobody looked past the fence had they that girl would’ve been found. That’s why I said a lot of times things aren’t what they seem when they come out and inspect the place. That being said that’s why I said she needs to talk to a lawyer. I know people that have worked for typhus, child protective services, DCS whatever you wanna call them, they have seen both sides of the spectrum. A very good friend of mine who lives in Arizona worked for the office, kept going out to a home because of the cause the school would state about the abuse to happen to get home and every time she went home it was 360 from what was claimed to have been happening. The kid was terrified to speak up and say anything. Two days after her last visit to that home, the woman beat her child so bad they died. My friend immediately resigned because she kept saying something was wrong but she had no proof of it other than the school calling in saying that the child was being abused. Her supervisor said their hands were tied up is nothing that could be done. She fear for that kids life wrote countless times in reports nothing could be done. So that could be what’s happening. So no, you cannot always believe everything that is being seen and shown. Not always as a thorough investigation being done. So that’s why I stated I will state again, she needs to talk to a lawyer and do the best course through legal means.
Get a lawyer, get pictures of where she sleeps, show a picture of the temp of the room and then bam file an emergency custody hearing.
It depends what your custody order says and visitation time. My ex was trying to get 50/50 but was trying to use a dinning room with no closet or door as a bedroom. They denied it because it doesn’t fit a legal definition of what a room is. Which made him not able to provide all I could.
But here’s my question if she were in the actual part of the house and it was the coldest room would you be upset?
Do you not find it like a creeper that this Chris Ciocan dude is sending all woman he doesn’t know, messages to hook up on fb??? All same messages too???
If its a porch that is part of the house enclosed with walls and a roof nothing will be done. They can use it for a room .I’m sure they probably add a heater. Talk to your child and ask if they give extra blankets. However document it.
They do absolutely nothing!!!
No crime in sleeping by a door & baby girl is warm… she’s fine.
For all those that instantly went after the girlfriend part we don’t know the facts of the story so quit calling her bitter. I know a guy that actually did date a pregnant 17 year old co worker and his ex had to deal with that. The 4 year old should be in an actual room with heat not a sun room/porch. Document this and use it in court if needed.
By porch are you meaning a room that is close off but may have many windows? There are locks that can be placed on that door to make sure she can’t get out and no one can get in. And blankets. Lots of blankets. I had a cousin who’s bedroom was the “porch” (closed off from the elements and part of the house). He grew up fine other than hee can be quite naughty. Having nothing to do with his bedroom.
I am in the field. As long as there are walls and windows. At least a mattress and blankets. Nothing can be done. Some rooms are colder than others. As my daughters room is coldest and hottest. Unfortunately you can’t control what goes on or happens at his house.
How old is she? She is probably scared TD. My grandmother had a enclosed porch and If it was anything like that I would be but older cousins slept out there I believe with a portable heater when they stayed there
My daughter would not b sleeping on a porch no matter how you look at it.
Is her bed on the porch because she doesn’t use it, or is she actually sleeping out there. How and why do you even know this information, did they let you see this or are you running off something you assumed… this has so many holes in it
From what you said you clearly just don’t like sending her there and you’re looking for a reason to not have to. You need proof something is actually wrong and take it to court until they see your side…
As long as the doors lockable and she can’t undo the lock… has blankets. Clothes, food, and people watching her… she’s okay. Not everyone is able to afford to move… at least she had a bed and a roof over her head… some kids don’t even have their own rooms and beds at other parents homes.
I’m sorry I too would not like my 4yr old daughter sleeping on a porch. Um no so wrong.
I’d take the porch before putting my kid in one for sure.
As long as she has somewhere to sleep, dcfs nor court is going to care
If you feel your daughter is ‘unsafe’ (this being the key term) you have the right to refuse time sharing as YOU believe her health and safety are in jeopardy.
First of all how old is the child? If the child is baby or a young child who could possible opening that outside door at nite and get outside then its a danger. You said teenage GF, how old is the dad?
Is this “porch” a enclosed porch with a door?
My grandson sleeps on my sunporch,no problems. I think its just hard for you not having control of things when your child isn’t with you. And it is hard,alot of adjusting. Try to be friends with her father and his new girlfriend. Kill them with kindess. Make it easier for your child.
How old is the dad? If he’s over 20 I’d call and repórt that he’s with a chíld
Yall are so mad about the porch part. It’s more than likely a sun room or four seasons room, whichever you want to call it. They have actual heat and air conditioning. I’m pretty sure it’s not a literal porch and -10 degrees out there 
if there was actually anything wrong here then DCS would step in. This sounds like a bitter baby mama to me.
I would not be at all happy.
My 9(girl),7&3 (boys) year old all share a room at their dads. CPS doesn’t care. They’re fine. I am just glad they see their dad when they can.