Do I have a right to be mad at my dad for having more kids?

I didn’t have the best childhood. My dad was never around, he did not like my mom so he made every point to always be in the garage drinking beer… well he finally left my mom when I was 15 (30 now) and he was always distant after that. I found out now that he married some random girl a month ago and she’s pregnant and they’re starting a family and I feel broken over it. He never even acknowledged what he did to me or my siblings and is now starting over at 50? Am I overreacting?

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I think it’s time to work through the feelings with a professional. You are likely to have more feelings and thoughts as you see him be a different father than what you got. It sucks he couldn’t be better for you.

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Everyone can feel how they want … but at the end of the day only worry about things you can change. Ever asked your mum why he was so distant ? , ever asked him why ?
He was so unhappy but he still pushed through and no doubt it was for you

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You always have a right to your feelings. But, do you you think your dad has a right to find his happiness too? That’s the real question.This may be his happiness for the first time in his life. You absolutely can have your feelings about it. But don’t let that prevent you from trying to be apart of their lives or being a sibling to this new baby too. Regardless, the baby is innocent in all of this even if you believe your dad isn’t.

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Your feelings are valid. You have the right to feel however you want/need.
He however, has the right to do what he wants. People grow, they change, they start again etc.
Do whatever you need to do to work through your feelings (therapy, no contact, etc) but he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do and accepting that may help you. Live and let live.

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I read a story once about a woman who had a kid with a man who wanted nothing to do with her. So the dad left them both. Wasn’t around at all. They were at a park when she was older and someone mentioned the little girl looks just like her dads other kids. The mom felt hurt for the daughter, the little girl says “oh good. He finally learned how to be a dad”. It sucks when you feel like you’ve been replaced. But your feelings are valid. He’s also allowed to move on with his life.

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My bio father left me at a very young age and was never a father… I reached out at 11 and he was in my life regularly for 3-4 months then left again without even a word or anything… I waited a few years and reached out again and again , was always ignored and left on read so I eventually gave it up…

He’s well into his late 40’s early 50’s. Got with a girl a few years ago , got married pretty fast and they’re currently on their 4th child together since then. He’s been from what I hear a fantastic dad to those children and hasn’t missed a single milestone… When I found out about the first child it hurt. I broke down and cried and called my step dad at the time who had been a father figure to me since I was 5-6 years old. He eventually also left me as well in 2020 after him and my mom had a final split. Left without warning or anything… he’d also been papaw to my daughter’s their whole lives at that point.

Both broke me honestly.

I’ve got a tattoo that’s been my back bone that my grandmother used to say to me. "You’re too full of life to be half loved. "

Now I always remind myself of that and I am. I’m too full of life to be half loved by anyone , spouses , relatives , step dad’s, my bio dad.

You are as well! :heart: You deserve far better. I know how badly it hurts even as an adult because it’s just something you’ll always grieve/ always want. It does start to feel better I promise dear. You just got to keep your head up and remind yourself that you deserve better. You are too full of life to be half loved by anyone , including your father.

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No you’re not overreacting, similar situation, my dad was hardly there when I was little, most weekends I didn’t go to his etc, (was just me) he’d always promise when I got to 16 he’d take me on holiday and all that jazz. When I was in secondary school he met a woman 8 years older then me and they got married and had two more kids, and it was honestly a kick in the gut, him doing all the dad stuff with my siblings but not with me etc etc.
Not a nice feeling at all, big hugs

My dad replaced kids is what we called it . Had 3 with my mom left her when i was two weeks . Had 2 with his then wife left them after their mom passed . Had 1 with a 21 year old i was 12 at the time and eventually left her . Hurts but its whatever i now think yes i was too good enough for him instead of i wasn’t ever good enough .

I agree that you need to deal with these feelings with a professional. I am so sorry you went through this and you have the right to be hurt. People do change. If I was in that situation I would hope that he could be a better father to this baby than he was to me.

You aren’t overreacting but if you don’t say how it makes you feel you will build more resentment.
Say what you have to say, he might have some feelings as well about it.

Oh I’d be pissed if my mother egg had of had any more children too.

Maybe see if counseling might help.

No you’re not overreacting men do it all the time

It’s his life you can be mad sure but you can’t control it. Kinda petty if you ask me

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He only married her because he got her pregnant it’s not like he got married decided both to have children.

Yes, you know what they’re in for, leave it at that…